![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 44. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jealibeanz on May 2, 2007, at 5:43:03
Does anyone else here have a problem admitting to themselves that they "should" be taking medication?
I always feel like I'm being needy, self-centered, weak, and acting like a hypochondriac when I try to get medical treatment for my insomnia, ADHD, fatigue, anxiety, and depression. I have myself convinced that this is just a cop-out and excuse that I'm using. These conditions could all go away and that maybe I don't really have them.
I know in my heart this is not true, but I've never had any doctor make me feel like I should be taking medications or that it's OK. I've always had to be my own advocate and push for what I want.
My medication combo is not great right now but I'm not exactly driven to go see my doctor. He'll almost always make some sort of change if I have a complaint. Some times for the better. Sometimes not. He's very nice to me, but I always feel like it's me forcing him to treat me and continue doing so and adjusting the plan because I've never found a plan that was stable.
I know psych patients aren't always the easiest because the doc's can't measure anything themselves and besides, "it's all in our heads". Hmm... it's times like this when I'd like a more physical disorder.
Posted by scratchpad on May 2, 2007, at 11:28:34
In reply to Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by jealibeanz on May 2, 2007, at 5:43:03
Absolutely, I can relate to this! I do feel that I "should" be over my depression, anxiety, panic... that relying on medications is a weak person's way out. My therapist shakes her head in disbelief when she hears me speak this way, but it's honestly how I feel.
Worse yet is the coordination of care between various doctors - the GP, the pdoc, the gyn, the allergist... all for one body. Holistic care that incorporates the best of western and old-world medicines seems like a pipe dream right now, but that's my ultimate goal in my search for wellbeing. Heck, I'll settle for betterbeing.
Scratchpad
Posted by peddidle on May 2, 2007, at 11:41:14
In reply to Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by jealibeanz on May 2, 2007, at 5:43:03
Wow, yes. My T has been trying to get me to change my meds for months, and I keep telling her no. I was put on zoloft almost 8 years ago for OCD, and no other T or pdoc I've seen since has seen any evidence for that diagnosis. I'm not entirely sure what my current diagnosis is, because my T doesn't like to use labels, but I think the last diagnosis I got was dysthymia.
I can't help but think that, if the first diagnosis was wrong (or even if it was right, there are no longer any symptoms present), maybe I never needed to be on meds to begin with. Or, maybe I did need to be on them at one time, but I don't need them anymore. I've told my T that I want to see what happens if I try to go off the zoloft (I also take concerta, but I think I would wait to give that up). Why should I add more meds, or change the dose of the one I'm on, when I don't even know what it's doing for me in the first place?
I'd be willing to admit that I still need the zoloft (or any medicine), but I want to know what my "baseline" is. How can I know if I'm "better" or if I need to change my meds, if I can't even remember what I was like before I started taking them?
Posted by Phillipa on May 2, 2007, at 11:45:42
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by peddidle on May 2, 2007, at 11:41:14
I know the feeling hence why I stick with the luvox keep telling myself it's all in my head guess it is???? Love Phillipa
Posted by jealibeanz on May 2, 2007, at 14:17:45
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by peddidle on May 2, 2007, at 11:41:14
I always feel like I'm self-diagnosing and begging for drugs. I've never felt like my doctors believed that I had serious distress or that it would be in my best interest to take medication.
That's probably partly my skewed perception coming into play and partly the truth.
It's not like I think they sit around and think, "I hope she suffers and has a horrible life.". I just feel like they think I like the attention and like trying different medications because I'm interested in healthcare.
They probably think that I'm either weak and will be unsuccessful, or that I can snap out of this and use all my talent and intelligence to be happy and successful. Unfortunately, that's what I've convinced myself of.
I don't even bother telling my doctor about how bad my allergies are because I don't want to add to the list of complaints and drug trials I have.
Posted by devunea on May 2, 2007, at 15:48:00
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by jealibeanz on May 2, 2007, at 14:17:45
i can clearly remember sitting in my red honda civic (the college car) and crying and crying when i saw PROZAC on the prescription. i could not believe it or could i bring myself to fill the prescription. it was prescribed for GAD basically. I finally filled it and took it for about ten days until one evening I stopped at a fund raiser for school. i was supposed to have one or two drinks tops and go to my parents house to chaperone my youngest bro on a field trip (the next day). i called my parents starting my 2nd beverage, and they told me to get a taxi home, i was slurring. i had told my doc that i drank socially which i did, but he never told me the effects. ended up being a bad night. so i was very leery of meds at all. i finally found something that works for me after a lot of bad times in the beginning. but it was such a feat for me to realize i needed a med. and more than that i would need it for a bit and if i wanted to stop i couldn't easily. (i take clon.) anyway after a couple years of therapy and hearing over and over again from my doc and therapist that i was causing myself more anxiety and problems by worrying about this medicine than actually taking the med. they both said if i needed i could take this dosage for the rest of my life. (i was 23 and am 28). i have given in to their theory. i cant worry about it, i need it, i am better with it and i have quit feeling bad about it. easier said than done, it took a lot of convincing but i am convinced. and while it may occupy my mind from time to time, i do not feel guilty or less than or bad about it. i refuse. i hope you can feel better about your decisions, whatever they may be.
Posted by jealibeanz on May 2, 2007, at 16:11:17
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by devunea on May 2, 2007, at 15:48:00
I'm not sure that my doctor, or any doctor I've ever seen, believes in treating me. I know there's something wrong with me, so can half-heartedly think that if I get the right meds I can feel better. I don't know what it is, but no doctor has really thought I need treatment and never have suggested medication without my inquisition or prompting. It's like they'll throw scripts at me every once in a while to pacify me, but aren't really interesting in achieving relief, success, or remission with me... not that they don't care about me as a person, but I get the idea that my doctor is less concerned with treating me as a patient and more concerned with me, the person.
I've always liked that because he's nice and friendly and easy to be with, until now, when I realize that he's too laid back in his fatherly approach with me... I'd prefer aggressive and fatherly, but aggressive alone if nothing else... and no, I really don't have any other doctors in the area who will bother treating me... I tend to get brushed off.
Posted by Ines on May 2, 2007, at 16:32:24
In reply to Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by jealibeanz on May 2, 2007, at 5:43:03
I know what you feel like. When I first got prescribed an antidepressant I was embarrassed to go to the pharmacy, even if noone knew me. I felt like it represented failure to control my feelings. I'm now more comfortable with medication, but I've been off work so many times over this, and it's so humiliating to have to talk about it. Plus a lot of people don't really believe it I think, because it can't be measured, and because I can't cry in front of anyone. I've had a doctor tell me I wasn't a priority because I didn't have something serious like cancer. The thing is, I'd take cancer anytime, for as terrible as that sounds. At least noone thinks you're faking it, you're not in constant mental pain for which noone can find a cure, and you can die with dignity- and you can still take pleasure from your life maybe. A close friend died of cancer when we were 9 years old, it was a terrible shock back then, so painful to see her going, but now I can't help but think that maybe she's better off. I was a really happy kid then, who was to say I'd become depressed for no apparent reason and come to wish I'd never been born... What if the same had happened to her? In that case she had teh easy way out.
Anyway, what a morbid post. I'm sorry. I feel wretched today.
Ines
Posted by jealibeanz on May 2, 2007, at 18:05:20
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications... » jealibeanz, posted by Ines on May 2, 2007, at 16:32:24
That's OK, I don't mind you sharing your experience.
The one thing that I think of sometimes when considering my conditions and treatments, is that if I were giving advice to me friend who was in my shoes, I wouldn't hesistate to believe that the conditions were real and they should keep trying medications until something works out.
Posted by Malcolm64 on May 2, 2007, at 22:50:12
In reply to Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by jealibeanz on May 2, 2007, at 5:43:03
> Does anyone else here have a problem admitting to themselves that they "should" be taking medication?
>
> I always feel like I'm being needy, self-centered, weak, and acting like a hypochondriac when I try to get medical treatment for my insomnia, ADHD, fatigue, anxiety, and depression. I have myself convinced that this is just a cop-out and excuse that I'm using. These conditions could all go away and that maybe I don't really have them.
>
> I know in my heart this is not true, but I've never had any doctor make me feel like I should be taking medications or that it's OK. I've always had to be my own advocate and push for what I want.
>
> My medication combo is not great right now but I'm not exactly driven to go see my doctor. He'll almost always make some sort of change if I have a complaint. Some times for the better. Sometimes not. He's very nice to me, but I always feel like it's me forcing him to treat me and continue doing so and adjusting the plan because I've never found a plan that was stable.
>
> I know psych patients aren't always the easiest because the doc's can't measure anything themselves and besides, "it's all in our heads". Hmm... it's times like this when I'd like a more physical disorder.
I can relate exactly to what you're talking about. Psychiatric conditions are notoriously subjective and treatment for them seems even more subjective. And what if a drug does work? Even that is subjective, b/c there's the whole 'placebo' effect. And sometimes it works only for the short-term and then you're back to square one.The only time that I could actually point to the effectiveness of a med I've been on was while I was on Nardil, about a year ago. There was absolutely no question that my newfound self-confidence was due to being on this drug. But as I've pointed out in previous posts, it lasted a very short time and I was in fact back to square one in a matter of weeks.
In the final analysis, most docs will prescribe an AD based on what their patients tell them. I doubt that there's ever been a doc who's declined to prescribe a med of SOME sort based on their patient's complaints. Maybe not the med that the patient requests, but some med.
After all these years of suffering from severe social anxiety, ADD and, at various times, serious depression, I sometimes wonder if it's really all in my head, even now.
Posted by sleepygirl on May 2, 2007, at 22:54:17
In reply to Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by jealibeanz on May 2, 2007, at 5:43:03
goodness yes!
I just have to "get it together dammit!"
my T seems to firmly believe that I need them
but I don't
In my case I don't think it's denial
I am giving them the benefit of the doubt
Posted by jealibeanz on May 3, 2007, at 4:06:45
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by Malcolm64 on May 2, 2007, at 22:50:12
> > Does anyone else here have a problem admitting to themselves that they "should" be taking medication?
> >
> > I always feel like I'm being needy, self-centered, weak, and acting like a hypochondriac when I try to get medical treatment for my insomnia, ADHD, fatigue, anxiety, and depression. I have myself convinced that this is just a cop-out and excuse that I'm using. These conditions could all go away and that maybe I don't really have them.
> >
> > I know in my heart this is not true, but I've never had any doctor make me feel like I should be taking medications or that it's OK. I've always had to be my own advocate and push for what I want.
> >
> > My medication combo is not great right now but I'm not exactly driven to go see my doctor. He'll almost always make some sort of change if I have a complaint. Some times for the better. Sometimes not. He's very nice to me, but I always feel like it's me forcing him to treat me and continue doing so and adjusting the plan because I've never found a plan that was stable.
> >
> > I know psych patients aren't always the easiest because the doc's can't measure anything themselves and besides, "it's all in our heads". Hmm... it's times like this when I'd like a more physical disorder.
>
>
> I can relate exactly to what you're talking about. Psychiatric conditions are notoriously subjective and treatment for them seems even more subjective. And what if a drug does work? Even that is subjective, b/c there's the whole 'placebo' effect. And sometimes it works only for the short-term and then you're back to square one.
>
> The only time that I could actually point to the effectiveness of a med I've been on was while I was on Nardil, about a year ago. There was absolutely no question that my newfound self-confidence was due to being on this drug. But as I've pointed out in previous posts, it lasted a very short time and I was in fact back to square one in a matter of weeks.
>
> In the final analysis, most docs will prescribe an AD based on what their patients tell them. I doubt that there's ever been a doc who's declined to prescribe a med of SOME sort based on their patient's complaints. Maybe not the med that the patient requests, but some med.
>
> After all these years of suffering from severe social anxiety, ADD and, at various times, serious depression, I sometimes wonder if it's really all in my head, even now.
HAHAHA! This is a funny/sad/frustrating situation I was in once:I went to see a GP for the first time. It was for anxiety and depression. I told him of the few drugs I've tried. I never said they didn't work, but that I stopped because of side effects.
He looked at me after a long period of a"getting to know me question and answer session" and told me I wasn't depressed. (I was.) I told him I don't look depressed right now, but I definitely do go through recurrent depression. He said I was not ever depressed, but that many it was seasonal and that I should use tanning beds.
You'd think almost any doctor would give you an SSRI.
The reason why most people who meet me briefly think I'm terribly happy and have wonderful physical and mental health? My past accomplishments, future plans, I look very healthy and athletic annnnnd I smile a ton and am very polite and friendly. Doc's (any people in general) tend to judge based on their perception of you, not you're words... which gets me in trouble b/c nobody reallllly believes me, or at least believes the extent to which I complain of symptoms.
So, then I played up the anxiety/panic and was given a *few* tabs of Xanax... to last about 6-12 months. (I never went back.)
This was from a fairly well-respected and established family doc in my area.
Posted by jealibeanz on May 3, 2007, at 4:09:12
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by sleepygirl on May 2, 2007, at 22:54:17
> goodness yes!
>
> I just have to "get it together dammit!"
>
> my T seems to firmly believe that I need them
> but I don't
> In my case I don't think it's denial
> I am giving them the benefit of the doubt
>I'm very envious of all of you who have people telling you that you should take drugs! I need that sort of encouragement and assurement, because otherwise I assume the worst and blame myself.
Posted by Honore on May 3, 2007, at 10:53:04
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by jealibeanz on May 3, 2007, at 4:09:12
Jealibeanz, After being in the quandry you've been in for so long, I think you need to take action. You don't deserve to put yourself through so much shame and denial.
I know this is a hard thing to do, but you need to get out there and find the right doctor. The right doctor will take your self-descriptions seriously, and really work thoughtfully and persistently --on his own, consulting with you, but also bringing his own clinical experience and judgment-- to find the right meds. If you need xanax and strattera, or whatever--- or if there's some new AD he knows of--
But the only way to get past this phase of stuckness without appropriate medical ( ie psychopharmacological) treatment is to go out and find a better pdoc ((or other doc) than your family GP. he sounds terribly well-meaning-- but not able to handle your particular problems.
Any pdoc who dismisses your sense that you're depressed-- just cross off the list. He's not the right pdoc for you. Don't hold it against yourself, and start questioning whether you have the right to ask for appropriate meds. You do.
I honestly think if you found someone who could treat you, you could just accept that these meds are okay, and stay within the boundaries of what he thinks is safe. You just need to do it.
Don't get discouraged by the occasional (or even frequent) doctor who doesn't get it. Unfortuanately, these days, many don't. Who knows why-- probably institutional. But not your fault. Even if you feel very bummed out after those appointments-- you need to accept the bad feelings, but move on to the next doctor on the list. You need treatment. If only you could believe that enough to get what you need.
Honore
Posted by jealibeanz on May 3, 2007, at 12:21:18
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications... » jealibeanz, posted by Honore on May 3, 2007, at 10:53:04
> Jealibeanz, After being in the quandry you've been in for so long, I think you need to take action. You don't deserve to put yourself through so much shame and denial.
>
> I know this is a hard thing to do, but you need to get out there and find the right doctor. The right doctor will take your self-descriptions seriously, and really work thoughtfully and persistently --on his own, consulting with you, but also bringing his own clinical experience and judgment-- to find the right meds. If you need xanax and strattera, or whatever--- or if there's some new AD he knows of--
>
> But the only way to get past this phase of stuckness without appropriate medical ( ie psychopharmacological) treatment is to go out and find a better pdoc ((or other doc) than your family GP. he sounds terribly well-meaning-- but not able to handle your particular problems.
>
> Any pdoc who dismisses your sense that you're depressed-- just cross off the list. He's not the right pdoc for you. Don't hold it against yourself, and start questioning whether you have the right to ask for appropriate meds. You do.
>
> I honestly think if you found someone who could treat you, you could just accept that these meds are okay, and stay within the boundaries of what he thinks is safe. You just need to do it.
>
> Don't get discouraged by the occasional (or even frequent) doctor who doesn't get it. Unfortuanately, these days, many don't. Who knows why-- probably institutional. But not your fault. Even if you feel very bummed out after those appointments-- you need to accept the bad feelings, but move on to the next doctor on the list. You need treatment. If only you could believe that enough to get what you need.
>
> HonoreThanks for the lengthy response. I think right now my biggest problem is that I don't believe I need help. I think I can and should do things on my own.
I haven't actually seen my doctor in 2 months, so my perception of what he's actually thinking about me is awfully skewed. Right now he's not thinking anything about me because he hasn't seen me!
Whenever I build up these problems in my head, they're always knocked down when I have an appointment and he's always very willing to listen to anything I tell him. I've never walked away from an appointment feeling badly, I actually have a lot more faith and confidence each time. There's never been an appointment when my medications weren't changed. The only time I've requested a change and was turned down was when via a phone message through his nurse about refills.
And no, thank god, this is NOT the doctor who told me I was not depressed and did not have anxiety. That man was an idiot. I don't accept things like that.
My current doctor and PA do believe that I have GAD with tendencies toward depressive bouts. We've discussed +'s and -'s of SSRI's/SNRI's. My doctor thankfully will listen to my problems and almost always is open to my suggestions and feedback.
Not many GP's will prescribe Xanax long-term. Not many will hand out amphetamines to a college student without question. Not many will prescribe Provigil for fatigue (although when I first started it I had more than fatigue... I was sleeping 18 hours a day after finishing a tough semester!). He's fine with me continuing to take Lunesta that his PA started me on 1.5 yrs ago (a while back he mentioned a "goal" of getting off of it... this didn't happen and he hasn't ever pressured me to do so).
I don't ever "get in trouble" when I decide to stop a treatment or alter things a little. He figures there's a good reason for it and he'll think of something else that will help and is tolerable.
So... I don't think my doctor is the #1 psychopharmacologist/GP in the world, but I also think that he's a little betterthan I always assumed. The more I see him, the more knowledge I realize he has.
Part of my problem is that I really do need to be seen once a month in order to do well. If nothing else, just for encouragement.
Posted by Ines on May 3, 2007, at 13:32:04
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by jealibeanz on May 3, 2007, at 4:06:45
> HAHAHA! This is a funny/sad/frustrating situation I was in once:
>
> I went to see a GP for the first time. It was for anxiety and depression. I told him of the few drugs I've tried. I never said they didn't work, but that I stopped because of side effects.
>
> He looked at me after a long period of a"getting to know me question and answer session" and told me I wasn't depressed. (I was.) I told him I don't look depressed right now, but I definitely do go through recurrent depression. He said I was not ever depressed, but that many it was seasonal and that I should use tanning beds.
>
> You'd think almost any doctor would give you an SSRI.
>
> The reason why most people who meet me briefly think I'm terribly happy and have wonderful physical and mental health? My past accomplishments, future plans, I look very healthy and athletic annnnnd I smile a ton and am very polite and friendly. Doc's (any people in general) tend to judge based on their perception of you, not you're words... which gets me in trouble b/c nobody reallllly believes me, or at least believes the extent to which I complain of symptoms.
>
> So, then I played up the anxiety/panic and was given a *few* tabs of Xanax... to last about 6-12 months. (I never went back.)
>
> This was from a fairly well-respected and established family doc in my area.
>I had a similar problem for a very long time. I'm outwardly very chilled, I smile all the time and chat to people, and I can even be very sociable if I'm in the right mood. I also do well jobwise for the most part (except during very bad patches). People often comment on how much I smile and how happy I look. I am actually very depressed most of the time- I tend to score very depressed or extremely depressed on depression scores, so it's quite heavy duty. But I can't switch off the act, it's part of me. I spent 8 years not being taken seriously by doctors. My family doctor would wave a hand and say that's 'just a mood, it'll go away soon, you're so obviously competent, so obviously comfortable' etc... I only got someone to take me seriously when I felt so desperate for help I burst out crying during an appointment with the GP and couldn't stop no matter how much I tried. Still, when I go to a new doctor they dismiss it as mild if I just talk them through the problem. It sounds like you've got the treatment you need in the meantime, but just in case this is helpful: what I do now when I go to a new doctor is to take things that I write (I write a lot about how I feel and that tends to be a bit of an eye opener for the doctor). I also take a chart with daily mood scores, and I do a depression scale test the day before and bring that along too. It has made a huge difference in the treatment I get.
Ines
Posted by jealibeanz on May 3, 2007, at 13:52:06
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by Ines on May 3, 2007, at 13:32:04
>
> > HAHAHA! This is a funny/sad/frustrating situation I was in once:
> >
> > I went to see a GP for the first time. It was for anxiety and depression. I told him of the few drugs I've tried. I never said they didn't work, but that I stopped because of side effects.
> >
> > He looked at me after a long period of a"getting to know me question and answer session" and told me I wasn't depressed. (I was.) I told him I don't look depressed right now, but I definitely do go through recurrent depression. He said I was not ever depressed, but that many it was seasonal and that I should use tanning beds.
> >
> > You'd think almost any doctor would give you an SSRI.
> >
> > The reason why most people who meet me briefly think I'm terribly happy and have wonderful physical and mental health? My past accomplishments, future plans, I look very healthy and athletic annnnnd I smile a ton and am very polite and friendly. Doc's (any people in general) tend to judge based on their perception of you, not you're words... which gets me in trouble b/c nobody reallllly believes me, or at least believes the extent to which I complain of symptoms.
> >
> > So, then I played up the anxiety/panic and was given a *few* tabs of Xanax... to last about 6-12 months. (I never went back.)
> >
> > This was from a fairly well-respected and established family doc in my area.
> >
>
> I had a similar problem for a very long time. I'm outwardly very chilled, I smile all the time and chat to people, and I can even be very sociable if I'm in the right mood. I also do well jobwise for the most part (except during very bad patches). People often comment on how much I smile and how happy I look. I am actually very depressed most of the time- I tend to score very depressed or extremely depressed on depression scores, so it's quite heavy duty. But I can't switch off the act, it's part of me. I spent 8 years not being taken seriously by doctors. My family doctor would wave a hand and say that's 'just a mood, it'll go away soon, you're so obviously competent, so obviously comfortable' etc... I only got someone to take me seriously when I felt so desperate for help I burst out crying during an appointment with the GP and couldn't stop no matter how much I tried. Still, when I go to a new doctor they dismiss it as mild if I just talk them through the problem. It sounds like you've got the treatment you need in the meantime, but just in case this is helpful: what I do now when I go to a new doctor is to take things that I write (I write a lot about how I feel and that tends to be a bit of an eye opener for the doctor). I also take a chart with daily mood scores, and I do a depression scale test the day before and bring that along too. It has made a huge difference in the treatment I get.
> Ines
Good idea. I often write out feelings, moods, reactions to meds, and suggestions a few days before I go. I usually don't pull out the paper unless I'm with a new doc and am nervous and need them to really get the picture.I should think of specific things to say to my doctor. Like, most of the time I get so anxious, nervous, and overwhelmed about things that I can't breathe well, can't read or study, can't move my arms or legs easily.
I have problems staying on task and reading and completing assignments with my coursework, even when I am motivated, have ample time, and am in a good work environment. I do this all the time. It's annoying.
I can sit down with a text book with a certain chapter to read, but will not read from beginning to end. I might start in the back or middle of a section, or in a caption. I jump round and round until mayyyybe I finally get the entire thing read. Or, I'll just jump to a different chapter altogether for a while because something in it caught my eye. I waste so much time and energy getting off task, it's ridiculous.
Posted by Ines on May 3, 2007, at 14:55:21
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by jealibeanz on May 3, 2007, at 13:52:06
You sound like me!
Posted by jealibeanz on May 3, 2007, at 15:06:13
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by Ines on May 3, 2007, at 14:55:21
> You sound like me!
At least I'm in good company!
Posted by Ines on May 3, 2007, at 17:03:14
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by jealibeanz on May 3, 2007, at 15:06:13
> > You sound like me!
>
> At least I'm in good company!
He he :-) And ironical thing is, if we met in the big wide world we'd never know it!
Posted by jealibeanz on May 3, 2007, at 20:09:59
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by Ines on May 3, 2007, at 17:03:14
i just realized I'm going to run out of my Ritalin LA and Provigil on Sunday and Xanax XR on Monday. That means I either have to call Monday (or tomorrow, but they seem to be very hectic on Friday's and messages received are hit or miss) and ask for refills or make an appointment, which I wasn't really ready to do. :(
Posted by elanor roosevelt on May 4, 2007, at 21:57:26
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications... » Honore, posted by jealibeanz on May 3, 2007, at 12:21:18
hey
i get in "trouble" with my pdoc every so often
over making decisions without seeing him first
when i first started seeing him 7 or 8 years ago the theory was that AD's would stablize the brain chemistry after 6 months or so and the depression would go into remission for a while
ever-changing story on AD's
and the years of dismissal of side-effects
yikes
but every time i left my p-doc i ended up with an egotistical nutcase -- but wow -- the last one was truly evil
it is an odd relationship, patient to pdoc
find one who listens
move your lips slowly and speak up
hang in there
Posted by UgottaHaveHope on May 5, 2007, at 0:25:20
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by elanor roosevelt on May 4, 2007, at 21:57:26
Hey, I am like many of you: When I was first put on meds, I thought I was the only person in the world on meds for emotional issues. I thought I was "weak." I thought meds were a crutch. I was WRONG.
Until I accepted meds, I struggled mightily. My Sunday school teacher, who is also chief surgeon at a local hospital, finally said "God gives doctors the knowledge to make meds to help people." I have never looked back from that moment.
A couple of random thoughts:
1. When you start talking about meds, you find out at least half the ppl you know are dealing with the same issues and also taking meds.
2. People take meds for diabetes and heart disease. Emotional issues are a disease. What is the difference?
Be PROUD of your med. Be GLAD there is help out there. Man, I would hate to have to dealing with this stuff living in the 1800s or something. I guess I would be the No. 1 client of the potion man or whatever they called those cowboy drug dealers.
Posted by Jedi on May 5, 2007, at 2:35:31
In reply to Re: Denial/Shame about Medications..., posted by elanor roosevelt on May 4, 2007, at 21:57:26
Hi,
Sometimes I feel like a walking pharmacy, but as a male in this society it still is not socially acceptable to be "mentally ill". So I hide it when I can and stay away from people when I can't. Only a handful of people, mostly family members, know I take any medications for my depression and anxiety. My current diagnosis is major atypical depression with social and generalized anxiety disorder. Before this I had undiagnosed dysthymia and social anxiety. My motto was, "Fake it til you make it". In public, I was usually able to put on a good act.The thing to remember, when you see your doctor, let the guard down. They have no clue what is wrong especially if you spend all of your energy covering up the problem. This treatment thing is so much trial and error anyway, try to give the doc a fair shot at seeing the real you.
Be Well,
Jedi
Posted by jealibeanz on May 5, 2007, at 4:53:02
In reply to Listening to the 'lies' about taking meds, posted by UgottaHaveHope on May 5, 2007, at 0:25:20
> Hey, I am like many of you: When I was first put on meds, I thought I was the only person in the world on meds for emotional issues. I thought I was "weak." I thought meds were a crutch. I was WRONG.
>
> Until I accepted meds, I struggled mightily. My Sunday school teacher, who is also chief surgeon at a local hospital, finally said "God gives doctors the knowledge to make meds to help people." I have never looked back from that moment.
>
> A couple of random thoughts:
>
> 1. When you start talking about meds, you find out at least half the ppl you know are dealing with the same issues and also taking meds.
>
> 2. People take meds for diabetes and heart disease. Emotional issues are a disease. What is the difference?
>
> Be PROUD of your med. Be GLAD there is help out there. Man, I would hate to have to dealing with this stuff living in the 1800s or something. I guess I would be the No. 1 client of the potion man or whatever they called those cowboy drug dealers.What your Sunday school teacher said was wonderful. I love when doctors these days still have a real fire and appreciation for the art of medicine.
Most doctors seems to lose that. Actually, I think my own doctor and my PA are some of the few who've in practice for a while that still have that fire. You can see it in their eyes and hear it in their voice.
They still think medicine is amazing and cool! Haha, it's like there's that little boy inside of them who loves watching the way things work.
I know they don't get many real questions about medicine and normally don't have the time to offer much information because they only have a few minutes with each patient. If I have questions, however, they take a little more time with me... haha, because they know I'm psycho and would freak out if I don't understand something. They love answering my questions though because it reminds them of where they came from and why they're doing this.
The others they practice with aren't like that at all. They are all very stressed and it's a business for them, not a passion any more.
It is so easy to think that I'm the only one dealing with these issues. I know I'm not. I'd say almost all of my friends and other people my age have a lot of anxiety and some depression. Most don't seek treatment though. A small percentage takes medication.
I am somewhat proud of my medications that work well. Lunesta, Provigil, and Flonase are all fairly new and novel drugs which work great for me. It's hard to be proud of Ritalin and Xanax though. I don't talk about those with my friends.
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