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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bassman on March 16, 2006, at 16:32:52
I'm a middle-aged male and the last two years I've been obsessed with fears about death-which sometimes end up in a short, but intensely fearful period. I have been diagnosed with panic disorder in the past and take Wellbutrin and Klonopin. I have no physical problems and my parents lived into their 90's.
Here's my question:is it most probable that my fears and thoughts about death are symptoms of depression, or is there another possibility?
Posted by Declan on March 16, 2006, at 18:09:42
In reply to fear of death, posted by bassman on March 16, 2006, at 16:32:52
Don't you think that it is simply human to fear death? There is a time, when we are young, when we feel that only other people die. Then we realise that it applies to us and we have the cold fear. Many people manage to put this far from their minds. Buddhists advise reminding oneself daily of the advent of death, or so I believe. I think we should be frightened of death. It's not pleasant, but neither is life, not that that makes any difference.
Declan
Posted by rjlockhart on March 16, 2006, at 18:25:48
In reply to fear of death, posted by bassman on March 16, 2006, at 16:32:52
Fear is a human stimuli, and i think i your case its mentally thinking of the enviroment.
I have had many posts of fear of insanity,. For a long time i thought i was going into the darkness of my mind. I still feel think that ... a while sometimes but it basically is over with. Right now i dont want to have a relapse.
Start to talk with your self, and think things over with. Mind over matter. What can i do? what can i control to think? Did something happen before that triggered this?
Take Care
Matt
Posted by linkadge on March 16, 2006, at 20:01:30
In reply to Re: fear of death, posted by rjlockhart on March 16, 2006, at 18:25:48
I think there is a healthy fear of death and an unhealthy one. An unhealthy fear is one that prevents you from living. If such is the case, then I *don't* think you are wrong in seeking help.
P.S. If you have a panic disorder, Wellbutrin is probably not the way to go.
Linkadge
Posted by john berk on March 16, 2006, at 21:05:24
In reply to Re: fear of death, posted by linkadge on March 16, 2006, at 20:01:30
It could possibly be sub-clinical ocd, ruminating is a sign of ocd, which i have in a more moderate form. panic disoder, depression and ocd are all closely related, as linkadge said wellbutrin is not a good drug for panic disorder,
klonopin is very helpful. i don't want to add to your strife by suggesting ocd, but it could be a mild form, ssri's are also good...john
Posted by Phillipa on March 16, 2006, at 21:23:48
In reply to Re: fear of death, posted by john berk on March 16, 2006, at 21:05:24
Bassman how old are you? As we get older as I am I fear death too. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Declan on March 16, 2006, at 22:04:01
In reply to Re: fear of death, posted by Phillipa on March 16, 2006, at 21:23:48
What do you fear though? Being dead or dying? Dying is scary perhaps. Being dead seems easy enough, rather like it was before we were born.
Declan
Posted by yxibow on March 17, 2006, at 3:05:11
In reply to fear of death, posted by bassman on March 16, 2006, at 16:32:52
It's a very common fear. Its the only certainty in life, though when and how and why create the uncertainty.
For me, religion (I happen to be an agnostic Jewish individual) never covered it. So I still have a fairly strong fear of death. In fact, its probably the centre of all my fears, I would say probably starting around 8-12. Thats about the age when young adults start realizing that they're not immortal, though some teenagers forget this fact at times.
This is probably controversial so I wont go on too much -- I believe religion has a place to explain the things we can't explain, but I don't believe it should change our society for those who do not ascribe to it. But it provides a way for some to explain those things. For others, like me, agnostic (meaning I believe there possibly is a deity but I can't be sure), with a cant towards beliefs of pure science, its hard to imagine anything beyond the cold hard facts of it.
Then there's rationalities people have, often searching for control -- thinking that a car, one in control of it, is safer than a plane. I very much have that sense. And in these times its hard sometimes not to.
But a natural disaster could strike one's dwelling that they've become a shut-in to, because they don't venture into the outside world, believing, again, in these times that the world is any more dangerous than it always has been.
I don't know quite where I lie in that sense, but I know it is a deep seated feeling, and something of frequent psychotherapeutic talk.
One doesn't have to be old or young to have such a fear.
But if it can be summarized in one sentence, one that I think I have to continue to believe and maybe one that I hope puts some perspective, if not help -- we all have been dying, yet we all are as living at the same time.
Posted by bassman on March 17, 2006, at 5:11:19
In reply to Re: fear of death, posted by Declan on March 16, 2006, at 22:04:01
I fear being dead-I somehow have no fear of dying itself. Hey, after three years of 24-hour a day nightmare (and I do mean nightmare) with panic disorder, how bad can it be? :>}
Posted by bassman on March 17, 2006, at 5:16:37
In reply to Re: fear of death, posted by Phillipa on March 16, 2006, at 21:23:48
I'm 60-but you know, my dad was very fearful of death when he was younger, but as he got older, the fear left him. When he was 92, he used to play a joke on the nurses at the nursing home where he was staying (he had dementia) by lying on the bed and "playing dead". When they got concerned, he would laugh and laugh. I think dementia sets you free-he used to do all sorts of "unacceptable" things that were quite funny.:>}
Posted by Declan on March 17, 2006, at 13:23:21
In reply to Re: fear of death, posted by bassman on March 17, 2006, at 5:11:19
I had a friend who got cancer and you'd have conversations which might go "How are you?" and she'd say "Yeah, fine, O I got cancer" and you'd say "Gee, that's terrible" and she'd say "No, it's fine, I don't mind", you know, in the Woolworths carpark. And then she died, the last part wasn't pretty. And someone else I knew couldn't relax on morphine as she was dying because every time she nodded off she panicked, thinking that this was IT. And visiting a friend, she said to us, when asked how old she was "I'm 80, and that's quite old enough, it's time to pull down the blinds and say goodnight", and that's how she treated it. I'll be dead in the morning sort of thing, no big deal. I suppose we only get one chance at dying and there's not a lot of help really if you are finding it difficult. I wonder if it's worse for people who are used to being in control? I dunno.
Declan
Posted by James K on March 17, 2006, at 15:23:04
In reply to Re: fear of death » bassman, posted by Declan on March 17, 2006, at 13:23:21
Not being afraid of death is a sign of depression. or something. I know there were a few times, when I thought "this is it" and I was okay. Not to say I wouldn't save myself if I could (and have).
I think, preoccupation with death may be a sign of depression though - back to your original question. I guess it comes down to healthy normal fear of the unknown or the unpleasant vs. unhealthy obsession or intrusiveness.
James K
Posted by rvanson on March 17, 2006, at 19:38:45
In reply to fear of death, posted by bassman on March 16, 2006, at 16:32:52
> I'm a middle-aged male and the last two years I've been obsessed with fears about death-which sometimes end up in a short, but intensely fearful period. I have been diagnosed with panic disorder in the past and take Wellbutrin and Klonopin. I have no physical problems and my parents lived into their 90's.
>
> Here's my question:is it most probable that my fears and thoughts about death are symptoms of depression, or is there another possibility?I dont think so. Many depressed people commit suicide, so I dont think thats it.
I dont think fear of death by many humans is uncommon at all, but to all things there is a beginning and an end.
Its not logical to fear something that you can do nothing about, and if you suffer from a chronic medical condition, I would see it as a blessing that it will finally come to an end.
My .02 cents
Posted by Jakeman on March 17, 2006, at 20:19:57
In reply to fear of death, posted by bassman on March 16, 2006, at 16:32:52
It's the ultimate question. It's a natural and normal fear I think. Most people shut it out of their minds. I've always thought that if I could conquer my fear of death I could really be free.
warm regards, Jake
Posted by linkadge on March 17, 2006, at 21:42:45
In reply to Re: fear of death, posted by Jakeman on March 17, 2006, at 20:19:57
I am personally not afraid of death. Perhaps I will be when I get older. My attitude is that I am always in a kind of irritable arugment with God. I always joke that when I get to heaven I will punch God in the face, but I don't know if he'd let me in with that attitude :)
I used to be terrified (age 12 or so), but I just don't really care anymore. Thats probably the only domain in which apathy is a bonus.
Linkadge
Posted by flipsactown on March 18, 2006, at 9:38:38
In reply to fear of death, posted by bassman on March 16, 2006, at 16:32:52
Bassman,
I am also a middle aged male and have suffered from unipolar depression since 1991. Like most of the posters say, it is human to be fearful of death.
However, in my experience, my fear of death is worse when my depression returns when my AD's have pooped out. I find that when my AD's are working, I still fear death, but don't dwell on it since I know we all must die sooner or later.
FST
Posted by Phillipa on March 18, 2006, at 18:25:55
In reply to Re: fear of death, posted by Jakeman on March 17, 2006, at 20:19:57
You know it's funny when I was in my 20's I went through a period when I so fearful of death I coldn't stand it. And in my late twenties I had major depression for the first time. But didn't take an AD. And then one day I just let it go. And didn't think about it again untill now. And I am old now so I think it natural but didn't know others felt the same. Seems a lot of people think they will go to a better place. Me I just think they dig a hole cover you up and that's it. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by bassman on March 18, 2006, at 19:20:04
In reply to Re: fear of death » Jakeman, posted by Phillipa on March 18, 2006, at 18:25:55
"To fear death is nothing other than to think oneself wise when one is not. For it is to think one knows what one does not know. No one knows whether death may not even turn out to be one of the greatest blessings of human beings. And yet people fear it as if they knew for certain it is the greatest evil." – Socrates
Bingo!
Posted by Declan on March 18, 2006, at 19:29:08
In reply to Re: fear of death, posted by bassman on March 18, 2006, at 19:20:04
Noone gets out of here alive, and how long would you want to take about it? I used to feel that the thought of conciousness (and soul?) being snuffed out was truly awful. Don't worry so much now.
Declan
Posted by spriggy on March 18, 2006, at 23:06:26
In reply to Re: fear of death, posted by Declan on March 18, 2006, at 19:29:08
Ya know, I think everyone at some point gets fearful of death; it's the "unknown."
It's not as if we can talk to anyone who has been there and can tell us what the process is like.
But, I have found that being confident in the Lord and what His word says about death/dying (which He really does say a lot about it), has eased my fears.
If you know where you are going when you die, it gives you more of a hopeful outlook and anticipation of it.. instead of a fear of it.
:)
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 19, 2006, at 10:39:12
In reply to Re: fear of death.. bassman, posted by spriggy on March 18, 2006, at 23:06:26
> Ya know, I think everyone at some point gets fearful of death; it's the "unknown."
Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to redirect follow-ups not about medication to Psycho-Babble Social. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060318/msgs/622025.html
Thanks,
Bob
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