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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by 4WD on May 11, 2005, at 18:20:15
I don't care what happens to me anymore.
I am depressed and horribly scared. The fear is so bad in the mornings.
I am on Celexa and Nortriptyline for depression. I have Klonopin for anxiety but I'm reluctant to take it regularly for fear of dependence and because I started going to Narcotics Anonymous a couple of months ago to get help dealing with my monthly abuse of pain pills and they tell me not to take the Klonopin. I threw away my Klonopin six weeks ago then had a panic/anxiety breakdown and had to get a new prescription and now I don't think my pdoc trusts me. I think he thinks I took it all and just wanted some more. I told him I didn't want to take Klonopin anymore -was there anything else nonaddictive to take for severe anxiety. So he gave me Inderal.
Then I found out it can cause depression. It blocks norepinephrine receptors. I just started the nortriptyline to increase norepinephrine. So I got scared it would interfere with the nortriptyline. I took the inderal anyway because I was so desperate for some help. It helped yesterday but today it didn't hlep. I freaked out when it didn't work today and drove to his office because he will not take phone calls.
When I got there I started crying and couldn't stop. I hid in the bathroom and cried til someone came to get me. They told my doctor I was there but he couldn't see me because he was doing paperwork and was about to leave. He told someone to tell me the inderal took a while to work =I hadn't been takin git long enough. And I could have the next available appointment May 24.
So I came home and took an inderal adn half a klonopin and now I am sitting here writing this and crying again and feeling hopeless. No one can help me I have tried everything nothing works.
And I even wonder if I am doing this to myself, causing my own fear by thinking about it too much. I have asked for help from God but I am still scared and depressed -the fear, the horrible crippling anxiety has been with me for seven months now.I don't see anything left to do.
Posted by 4WD on May 11, 2005, at 18:25:59
In reply to I give up, posted by 4WD on May 11, 2005, at 18:20:15
The people in Na tell me the anxiety/fear will go away by itself eventually if I just don't use any drugs. I even went to an AA meeting even thgouh I don't drink because I heard they don't fuss at you for being on medication. Now I don't know what to do. I don't know to take the klonopin or not. I'm on two antidepressants and two drug for anxiety that CAUSE depression. Its' a hopelless battle.
Marsha
Posted by Jakeman on May 11, 2005, at 20:26:52
In reply to I give up, posted by 4WD on May 11, 2005, at 18:20:15
4WD,
I'm sorry you had this bad experience with your doc, he sounds like an *ss (excuse me dr. bob). Isn't it a bitch how they make you wait weeks for the next appointment? You don't mention how much your're taking, but I've taken all the drugs you mentioned, in the same day, without a problem.
-J
> I don't care what happens to me anymore.
>
> I am depressed and horribly scared. The fear is so bad in the mornings.
>
> I am on Celexa and Nortriptyline for depression. I have Klonopin for anxiety but I'm reluctant to take it regularly for fear of dependence and because I started going to Narcotics Anonymous a couple of months ago to get help dealing with my monthly abuse of pain pills and they tell me not to take the Klonopin. I threw away my Klonopin six weeks ago then had a panic/anxiety breakdown and had to get a new prescription and now I don't think my pdoc trusts me. I think he thinks I took it all and just wanted some more. I told him I didn't want to take Klonopin anymore -was there anything else nonaddictive to take for severe anxiety. So he gave me Inderal.
>
> Then I found out it can cause depression. It blocks norepinephrine receptors. I just started the nortriptyline to increase norepinephrine. So I got scared it would interfere with the nortriptyline. I took the inderal anyway because I was so desperate for some help. It helped yesterday but today it didn't hlep. I freaked out when it didn't work today and drove to his office because he will not take phone calls.
>
> When I got there I started crying and couldn't stop. I hid in the bathroom and cried til someone came to get me. They told my doctor I was there but he couldn't see me because he was doing paperwork and was about to leave. He told someone to tell me the inderal took a while to work =I hadn't been takin git long enough. And I could have the next available appointment May 24.
>
> So I came home and took an inderal adn half a klonopin and now I am sitting here writing this and crying again and feeling hopeless. No one can help me I have tried everything nothing works.
> And I even wonder if I am doing this to myself, causing my own fear by thinking about it too much. I have asked for help from God but I am still scared and depressed -the fear, the horrible crippling anxiety has been with me for seven months now.
>
> I don't see anything left to do.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
Posted by Phillipa on May 11, 2005, at 21:26:18
In reply to Re: I give up » 4WD, posted by Jakeman on May 11, 2005, at 20:26:52
Are you abusing the klonopin? If not then I would take it and either get a new pdoc who deals with addictions or has an addictions counsellor. Right now your safety and sanity are at stake. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by 4WD on May 11, 2005, at 22:10:02
In reply to Re: I give up, posted by Phillipa on May 11, 2005, at 21:26:18
> Are you abusing the klonopin? If not then I would take it and either get a new pdoc who deals with addictions or has an addictions counsellor. Right now your safety and sanity are at stake. Fondly, Phillipa
No I have never abused the Klonopin. I'm terrified of it. I know what benzo withdrawal is like and I will never go through that again.
The doctor is an addiction specialist supposedly. I guess he has heard a lot of crap from a lot of people and has come to expect it from everyone.
Posted by Phillipa on May 11, 2005, at 23:22:37
In reply to Re: I give up » Phillipa, posted by 4WD on May 11, 2005, at 22:10:02
You're probably right. But that does not excuse someone having to go through withdrawal. On another note. My old pdoc had a former Addict doing counseling for him. He was all messed up and tried to impose his history on my husband and myself. I'd see if you can find another pdoc. Or if possible check into a 28day rehab if they exist anymore. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by 4WD on May 12, 2005, at 0:50:26
In reply to Re: I give up » 4WD, posted by Phillipa on May 11, 2005, at 23:22:37
> You're probably right. But that does not excuse someone having to go through withdrawal. On another note. My old pdoc had a former Addict doing counseling for him. He was all messed up and tried to impose his history on my husband and myself. I'd see if you can find another pdoc. Or if possible check into a 28day rehab if they exist anymore. Fondly, Phillipa
Hi Phillipa,
Actually I'm not in withdrawal from anything. My former ativan addiction was 20 years ago and my pain pill abuse was on a once a month basis. I've only taken 3 .5mg Klonopin in the last week -I've only been taking it when I get to the point of being suicidal from fear. Probably not wise. I guess I'm hypervigilant about not getting dependent since it was so traumatic years ago.
Thanks,
Marsha
Posted by Paul Smith on May 12, 2005, at 3:15:38
In reply to Re: I give up, posted by 4WD on May 12, 2005, at 0:50:26
Do not give up. Most of us here seem to be in a mess, guess that is why we are here. Where there is breathe there is hope. All I do is the very best I can each day. I support you in avoiding a dependency on Klonopin. I am on a benzo and there is no way I can stop, only chance is a taper then protracted withdrawal. BUT I have a hunch. If you kick the pain pills, which typicallly have pretty short withdrawal periods, couple of weeks or so, then a lot of your problem may go away. NA is a good idea too. Klonopin, sparingly, a few times a week may not hurt. Unless you are like me. I was off 4 months once, took 2 mgs and went into full blown withdrawals 3 days later. We are all different though, and that is quite an understatement.
Posted by ed_uk on May 12, 2005, at 5:59:21
In reply to Re: I give up, posted by 4WD on May 12, 2005, at 0:50:26
Hi,
See my post to you above :-)
Ed.
Posted by 4WD on May 12, 2005, at 13:29:50
In reply to Re: I give up, posted by Paul Smith on May 12, 2005, at 3:15:38
> Do not give up. Most of us here seem to be in a mess, guess that is why we are here. Where there is breathe there is hope. All I do is the very best I can each day. I support you in avoiding a dependency on Klonopin. I am on a benzo and there is no way I can stop, only chance is a taper then protracted withdrawal. BUT I have a hunch. If you kick the pain pills, which typicallly have pretty short withdrawal periods, couple of weeks or so, then a lot of your problem may go away. NA is a good idea too. Klonopin, sparingly, a few times a week may not hurt. Unless you are like me. I was off 4 months once, took 2 mgs and went into full blown withdrawals 3 days later. We are all different though, and that is quite an understatement.
Hi Paul,
I'm better today. Scared this morning but working on handling it by staying busy and not focusing on it. Also by realizing that sometimes I let it feed on itself until I reach such a state that anyone around me HAS to realize how much I'm suffering and how horrible it is and how sorry for me they need to feel. Just realized that today.
I quit the pain pills 2 months ago. And I was only using them maybe once a month. I wish I could believe the anxiety is from having taken them off and on for so long. Then I'd know for sure it would eventually go away by itself. Wait and see I guess.
I took roughly .5 - .75 mg of Klonopin daily for about six months then when I decided to get off it, I tapered to .25mg daily for a week then quit it completely. That was seven weeks ago. I got a new prescription three weeks ago and have taken 3 and a half of those .5mg pills since then. I figure if I don't take it more than once or twice a week when things get really bad, I won't have to worry about dependency. I just have to worry about making the decision every single day whether I'm scared enough to justify taking one. OH well, it's a tradeoff I guess.
I sympathize with your benzo situation. Which one are you on and for how long? It's amazing how insidious the dependency is. I imagine just about everyone who starts a benzo thinks it will be a short term solution and before you know it, its been five years and there you are. Still, I know there are people who truly need to be on them and have no other option. It's a way whole lot better to be dependent than it is to be dead or suffering intolerably.
Thanks for your responseMarsha
This is the end of the thread.
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