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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by D minor on April 30, 2005, at 22:39:26
My pdoc says I'm different from his other patients. Not something you really want to hear from your pdoc. He says that my moods are more labile. That I change so quickly from up to down and vice versa. Pretty much all my doctors have said there must be something else going on with me. I've been diagnosed with Major depression, Boarderline personality dissorder, and Bipolar at different times. Then they all resort to the same thing: they say there must be some trauma in my past. But my thing is, I have NO history of abuse or trauma.
So this is my theory. I think that maybe if I have been Bipolar this whole time I waw diagnosed with MD, perhaps the ADs I was on destabilized my mood. Is that possible? Now that I'm just on Topamax, Seroquel and Abilify, to you think my rapid cycling will even out?
Thanks,
dm
Posted by linkadge on April 30, 2005, at 22:51:35
In reply to Mood Volatility. Why am I different?, posted by D minor on April 30, 2005, at 22:39:26
I never considered myself bipolar but I have been diagnosed as such a few times.
Somtimes, I will go from laughing my head off with friends to thinking about suicide an hour or two later.
The problem is that in each state, the memory of all other states doesn't exits. The way I currently feel seems like it has been there for eternity.
Sorry for talking about myself, but I definately feel that my condition is a result of taking antidepressants.
I feel I have been kindled in some way. Its like even when I'm "better" the slightest reminder of a past failure etc will immediately make me "want out" in a deep and profound way.
It scares me that it doesn't scare me.
And it worries me that I'm not worried about it.
Linkadge
Posted by HappyGirl on May 1, 2005, at 12:31:39
In reply to Mood Volatility. Why am I different?, posted by D minor on April 30, 2005, at 22:39:26
Hi:
Bipolar, BPD along with PTD has somehow 'similarity,' particularly in terms of med. regimen. However, since you have NO trauma in all of your life, you dx is mostly likely Bipolar, not PTD.In my personal experience, ... some of pdocs. making/categorize in order to rx med./med. combo. For instance, in my case, he promptly rx'ed the Zyprexa when I saw him VERY first time after my former pdoc. not able to rx med. combo. He seemed to know an exact nature of my Bipolar along with med. combo. 'through' his experience in having seen Bper's similar to mine. Then, in your case, ... probably your pdoc. has NOT seen 'often' the case like yours. Particularly, he sounded 'disappointment/frustration' after knowing your 'bad' reaction to the Cymbalta. In my guess, ... a 'majority' of his Bp patients have NO problem taking the Cymbalta along with med. combo. similar to yours. This is NOT a 'personalized' med. rx to each individual. More likely, his med. practice is made by a 'group,' not 'customarized/tailered' to each patient. Besides this, ... probably your pdoc. seeing more Bp II patients than Bp I. Then, he might have been a 'hard' time to get familarized with an 'exact' nature of your M.I. although he dxed Bipolar.
As to AD, ... in my personal experience, I myself got Bp dx after one of SSRIs, Zoloft. This is a very common among Bpers. You're NOT alone. However, from the reading others along with my 'family' history, you 'have' already Bp. Just after an AD, Bp surfaced very distinctly. It's not something we want to hear and believe this, ... but if we are NOT predisposed, we, Bper's getting 'better' on any of SSRIs.
In my suggestion, ... if your pdoc.'s comment, 'different,' keeps bothering you, you may get a benefit by getting a few 'conselling.' It's a VERY hard to accept and live with Bp, ... I understand your 'struggle.'
H.G.
Posted by Phillipa on May 1, 2005, at 18:02:37
In reply to Re: Mood Volatility. Why am I different? » D minor, posted by HappyGirl on May 1, 2005, at 12:31:39
I think that was rotten for your pdoc to say you're not like any of his other pts. That just leads you to see yourself as inferior in some way. Get a new pdoc. Fondly,Phillipa
Posted by D minor on May 1, 2005, at 23:04:58
In reply to Re: Mood Volatility. Why am I different? » D minor, posted by HappyGirl on May 1, 2005, at 12:31:39
Thanks for the responses.
I also meant to give ya'll my AD history. Before I was diagnosed ( and maybe before anything was wrong) I was put on low dose Nortiptyline for my migrains. After being diagnose with MDD I started Effexor, but couldn't keep it up because of side effects. Then Celexa, after four week no help. Remeron was the first AD that lifted my depression. Tried Zoloft. Then Wellbutrin was added to that. Remeron was dropped, then Wellbutrin pooped out (although it could have been the lack to mood stabilizers) and I tried Cymbalta.
So,
Nortriptyline
Effexor
Celexa
Remeron
Zoloft
Wellbutrin
CymbaltaAnd they're asking me why my moods are all over the place? Anyone else have any experiences like this? Do you think I'll do better off without an AD?
dm
Posted by HappyGirl on May 2, 2005, at 0:31:41
In reply to Maybe ADs are my problem, my AD history..., posted by D minor on May 1, 2005, at 23:04:58
Hi:
Without any A.D.s, ... I just wonder whether you can weather through. Because, since you were dx'ed with Bipolar I(according to your previous posts), believe that you need some form of A.D. to alleviate a depressive side of your Bipolar. If it were me, I can NOT live a life with NO A.D.s. I've been taking two A.D.s, Wellbutrin 300 mg. and Trazodone 225 mg. along with other meds. Those 'two' are regarded 'safe' for Bp like mine. On those 'two,' I have never had any 'hypomanic' episodes, ... both are the safest A.D.s amongst safe for Bper's. However, on the AD list above, you already took those 'safe' ADs and still had a trouble of taking them. Then, I personally have NO idea whether you'd better off without any A.D.s., as knowing/admitting that WB and Traz. is one of critical meds. for me to lead a life I need.At the beginning of my Bp Support in the Internet(not this site), about 6 years ago, ... I read one lady with Bp who was not able to take any ADs, then her med. combo. consisted with Zyprexa, Neurontin, Topamax and one more(I can not recall the exact name, ... but something like an add-on M.S.) and leading a fairly 'normal' life. Her dx seemed more like close to Bp I, ... but quite a long time ago, I can not remember this well, ... but without any A.D., some of Bper's seem OK, ... maybe not perfect, but at least 'functionable' to the extent.
In my suggestion, ... try not to take any A.D. due to your tolerance/side-effect and see how things go. From there, your pdoc. able to rx some med. for a depressive side of your Bp.
It's a long and hard road to find a right med. combo., but it's well worth in the end.
H.G.
Posted by Racer on May 4, 2005, at 13:01:01
In reply to Mood Volatility. Why am I different?, posted by D minor on April 30, 2005, at 22:39:26
One of the features that makes Atypical Depression atypical is that you're "emotionally reactive" -- meaning that you get pleasure from activities, even when you're depressed. So, if you're with friends and having fun, you enjoy it, even if two hours later you're at home alone and crying your eyes out.
Yes, I go through what Linkadge goes through -- what I feel right now seems to be a permanent state. In order to try to help myself see the variations in my moods, though, I put together a mood chart thing so that I could track trends in my moods. It's easy enough -- unless you're as O/C as I am :^) -- just choose your scale (mine is 1 to 5, 5 being suicidal with a plan), and choose when you'll record your moods. I chose to record my mood when I ate, so I write the time of a meal, what I ate, and how I felt. (Which, by the way, is kinda good, since it made it much easier to show what I'd been eating for the past year when I started seeing an N for the AN...)
Anyway, what you're describing sounds as though it might be related to atypical depression, with or without BP features, and maybe reading up on it will help you. Even if it's not, even if you're just "unique" in your pattern of mood disorder, it's not a failure on your part. Much more likely your doctors simply aren't skilled enough to deal with anyone who doesn't fit neatly into a box. They're the ones who are failing, if you look at it that way...
Take care, and be well.
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