![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Spriggy on April 8, 2005, at 22:10:31
Today has been one of the worst days of cycling I've had since January. I have had FOUR (count it.. one, two, three, FOUR) weeping and wailing spells ( I was waiting for the gnashing of teeth stuff they did in the bible!).
I have been SUPER irritable- I am getting on MY OWN NERVES. I am SOO agitated, restless, anxious.
I haven't been this bad is sooo long. I found an old Xanex and took it. It made me a little bit tired but did nothing. I took my Klonopin- did nothing. I took a Restoril (still waiting for that to kick in).
My husband has prayed over me all day- nothing is helping. Quite honestly, suicidal thoughts have come back (which is scarey because that only happened on Lexapro!), I have had this horrible "lump in the throat", tightness of the chest feeling ALL day.
I started my cycle today- I don't know if that is the reason for all this or what but I am cycling in between agitation-depression-self condemnation-anxiety-and back around again.
I want off this spinning wheel FAST.
This is not my typical personality. I was once a rational, normal, sane person.
I lost my marbles people- they can't be found.
I am starting to feel that feeling of " this will never really get better" and although I know logically and spiritually that is a lie, I can't seem to get it out of my head.
My thoughts are racing.. I am a nutcase, a mess, a PMS maniac lunatic right now.
My blood sugar is 220 for some unknown reason considering I am supposed to be HYPOGLYCEMIC.
I even saw weird numbers with my eyes open.
Anxiety does the strangest things to people- it convinces me I am going to suffocate and die.
This is by far the worst day I've had in a long while. Please pray for me. Even if you don't believe God, pray for me.
Thanks.
Posted by MidnightBlue on April 9, 2005, at 0:22:19
In reply to I have officially lost my marbles.., posted by Spriggy on April 8, 2005, at 22:10:31
Spriggy,
I am SO sorry you are feeling so bad. I wish I knew how to help you. I still think there is something hormonal going on here. And being a woman doesn't help! It never does. I'm sure you know that psych meds usually don't work quite as well at "that time of the month."My personal advice (which I'm sure is all wrong) would be to sit down with a nice bowl of ice cream and veg out! But that's probably why I'm fat and you are losing weight.
Take care my dear. You are almost the same age as my daughter. I will definitely pray for you.
Hugs,
MidnightBlue
Posted by lara53 on April 9, 2005, at 4:52:06
In reply to Re: I have officially lost my marbles.. » Spriggy, posted by MidnightBlue on April 9, 2005, at 0:22:19
Spiggy, Are you still taking lamictal? I don't read all posts. I am just learning about rapid cycling so I probably shouldn't give advice.but thats what you sound like. Thats what I have had for so long,just blamed it on anxiety,do you have a diagnosis? I am just thinking, sounds like some form of BP. But again I am just learning. I always thought there was just the "way off the wall one".The agitation and irritability that you can't control IS awful.Thank goodness for your supportive husband;mine is just getting more angry at me this week. Also during "that time of month" I believe is much worse. I used to be a good "Christian" but the last 10yrs when I was so out of control with my behavior I would feel bad about even praying because of guilt of not doing what I should and acting the way I do;I felt HE has had it with me.But HE is so much still in my heart I know HE is real,and now I am in tears. I so want to be a good person again. I have already prayed for you before writing,we all need people who understand. I hope today is better for you,cant see for the tears,bye.I hope this makes some kind od sense.
Posted by Spriggy on April 9, 2005, at 12:52:11
In reply to Re: I have officially lost my marbles.., posted by lara53 on April 9, 2005, at 4:52:06
Thank you both for your kind responses.
Lara, your compassion and prayers mean the world to me. Thank you so much.
I definitely think my yesterday problem was likely hormone related considering I started my cycle. I woke up today and I feel "better" although, not totally, but at least some improvement.
I took the Seroquel again- this time I took less of the amount and it made me calmer and helped me sleep- so maybe I was on too high a dose. The higher dose made me feel bizarre, the lesser dose made me feel calmer.
Lara- I don't know what exactly to say to you about your relationship with God. I understand how our mental illness/feelings can seem to get in the way of our faith-- there have been times lately where I have felt like a failure in my faith because i Haven't been able to overcome this. But I have just had to come the conclusion that God's grace is sufficient and bigger than any of my mental/physical/emotional problems, and no matter how I am, His love for me is just the same.
Whether we are sane or insane, normal or not, healthy or sick, God sees us as invaluable and precious. I am reminding myself of that daily- we can't hinge our worth on WHO we are.. rather, WHO He is.
I pray you are encouraged today Lara and feel His priceless,unconditional, never failing, always Faithful love for you.
((HUGS))
Posted by Minnie-Haha on April 9, 2005, at 13:15:03
In reply to I have officially lost my marbles.., posted by Spriggy on April 8, 2005, at 22:10:31
A few questions:
1. Are you still on Lamictal? (How long now? And at what dose?)
2. When is your appointment with the endocrinologist?
Posted by Spriggy on April 9, 2005, at 13:32:09
In reply to Re: I have officially lost my marbles.. » Spriggy, posted by Minnie-Haha on April 9, 2005, at 13:15:03
No, I quit the Lamictal because I was convinced it was making me more anxious. Could that have been all in my head (part of the anxiety anyway for me is freaking out about medicatino!)? Yes, it could've been all in my head.
I see the endocronologist Wednesday morning, thank the Lord! Hopefully he will have more answeres and will start treating the PROBLEM, not just symptoms.
Posted by Minnie-Haha on April 9, 2005, at 13:48:28
In reply to Re: I have officially lost my marbles.., posted by Spriggy on April 9, 2005, at 13:32:09
> No, I quit the Lamictal because I was convinced it was making me more anxious...
>
> I see the endocronologist Wednesday morning, thank the Lord! Hopefully he will have more answeres and will start treating the PROBLEM, not just symptoms.You'll need to be patient and persistent. It COULD take a while to find out what the problem is. It's a process of elimination. Keep a record of what the problem is NOT along the way. (Ask the doctor after 1-2 visits: WHAT HAVE YOU RULED OUT? And HOW? is a good question too.) If you haven't already done so, get a notebook or a folder and keep copies of your lab work and doctor reports. Keep pursuing a medical reason for your problems just as long as your gut tells you there is one.
If after pursuing a medical reason, nothing turns up, you may need to make peace with the fact that it's "just" a psych disorder like bipolar (and of course, conditions can co-occur). I don't mean to make light of these. I've been through this myself, as have many here. You can make yourself even sicker (in my opinion) by not knowing when to let go of an obsession about the root of your problem. After a while it all gets jumbled. The thing is to try to maintain some perspective (that's where family and friends come in) and keep methodically pursuing therapy that makes you feel better, regardless of your DX.
Posted by Spriggy on April 9, 2005, at 15:05:53
In reply to Re: I have officially lost my marbles.., posted by Minnie-Haha on April 9, 2005, at 13:48:28
You have great advice and I really take heed to your input.
I agree with you wholeheartedly, if for some reason everything is fine with all else in my body (although I definitely have hypoglycemia), then I will just have to accept this could all be Bipolar 2.
I just want them to rule out the physical problems first since I feel so many physical things along with the mental ones.
Thanks for all the advice.
Posted by Phillipa on April 9, 2005, at 18:01:55
In reply to Re: I have officially lost my marbles.. » Minnie-Haha, posted by Spriggy on April 9, 2005, at 15:05:53
I know I'm late on this post but listen to what Minniehaha says. I could repeat her and say he same myself, but it's so well put. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Maxime on April 9, 2005, at 23:40:17
In reply to Re: I have officially lost my marbles.., posted by Spriggy on April 9, 2005, at 13:32:09
Hang in there Spriggy. You have a lot of support and Wednesday may seem so FAR away, but it will come.
Hugs,
Maxi
> No, I quit the Lamictal because I was convinced it was making me more anxious. Could that have been all in my head (part of the anxiety anyway for me is freaking out about medicatino!)? Yes, it could've been all in my head.
>
> I see the endocronologist Wednesday morning, thank the Lord! Hopefully he will have more answeres and will start treating the PROBLEM, not just symptoms.
>
>
Posted by lara53 on April 10, 2005, at 19:54:43
In reply to thank you ladies.. Lara, posted by Spriggy on April 9, 2005, at 12:52:11
Spriggy I think I cried for 1/2 hour;Thank You so much for YOUR compassion.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.