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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by bridgey1128 on September 30, 2004, at 20:45:58
In reply to RE: More info please...stressed, posted by stressed on September 30, 2004, at 18:32:47
Yeah I wish I didn't have to take anything. Unfortunately, being bipolar, when I don't take my meds, my family doesn't like me very much! hehe Hopefully with both her Dr's working together they will find something that works for her. But if she ever feels uncomfortable about taking something I hope she won't hesitate to tell her Dr's so. I think so many times Dr's expect us to just shut up and take the dang pills. I know weight gain is so frustrating. They give us something for depression and then it makes us fat which makes us depressed which makes us have to keep taking medicine for depression which makes us fatter which makes us more depressed than ever....you see where I am going with this. It's a catch 22 a lot of times. And I was wrong about the Lexapro.. I took that earlier. It is an antipsychotic I do believe but I didn't have weight gain with it. It was the Zyprexa. My mistake. Zyprexa is also an antipsychotic. IT is the one that made me pack on the pounds. After you take so many different freaking drugs you forget which is which!!! Good luck to your daughter. I hope she finds the right combination of meds and therapy. 16 is a hard age. God Bless
Posted by dazedandconfused on October 1, 2004, at 16:46:40
In reply to RE: More info please...stressed, posted by bridgey1128 on September 30, 2004, at 20:45:58
Just a quick note,
Lexapro is an antidepressant. An SSRI in the same class as Prozac, Zoloft, etc. It is not an antipsychotic.dazed
Posted by stressed on October 1, 2004, at 17:08:39
In reply to RE: More info please...stressed, posted by dazedandconfused on October 1, 2004, at 16:46:40
Everyone, when does this stuff start kicking in?
Posted by bridgey1128 on October 1, 2004, at 17:38:21
In reply to RE: More info please...stressed, posted by dazedandconfused on October 1, 2004, at 16:46:40
Gotcha about Lexapro. I couldn't remember which it was. I knew I had taken it and it didn't help. I have taken so MANY that haven't helped they seen to kinda all blend together after awhile. One I wouldn't ever EVER recommend to anyone, if even for the horrid HORRID withdrawl symptoms is Effexor. MAN OH MAN! That was some HORRIBLE stuff. I had taken that for a couple of months with bascially no results (like the others except for a very strange side effect of stratispheric libido) when I started getting a headache. Well, it lasted and lasted and lasted and lasted. It about drove me crazy so I decided this was NOT for me. I also had what is called "brain shivers". This feels like someone suddenly grabbing your head and shaking it for all it's worth and your eyeballs spinning around in your head at any given moment. Not painful but very dizzying and frightning when driving and everything goes crazy on you. I VERY slowly tried to go off the Effexor and it wouldn't let me! I went down like a quarter of a capsule. I had to open them up and divy up the little balls of medicine inside, it was very ridiculous. When that about drove me to insanity I started having panic attacks because it was really upsetting me that a medicine had this much control over my body and wouldn't let go! I had some Ativan and I took ONE and the brain shivers and headaches stopped. I don't know why but it allowed me to break the drug withdrawl. After this horrible ordeal is when I went to my Dr and said SOMETHING ELSE IS WRONG! I AM NOT JUST DEPRESSED!..this is when we discovered I might be bipolar and was tested. BINGO! And to answer your question Stressed in a round about way, it takes a while to "work" so to speak. It depends on what you are taking Topamax for and how much. I can tell that I am going to need to go up again because I am starting to get irritable again..a sign of my mania. Aggressive irritability and excessive talkativeness. Hopefully your daughter will be able to tell you when she is starting to feel better and I hope she is also in therapy. I don't think that a teenager or any child should be on medication without some sort of therapy, whether it be psychology or behavior therapy dealing with ADHD. I hope your daughter finds some light at the end of her tunnel soon. Med hopping is no fun. Been there done that.
Posted by headachequeen on October 1, 2004, at 18:04:48
In reply to RE: More info please...stressed, posted by bridgey1128 on October 1, 2004, at 17:38:21
Effexor. MAN OH MAN! That was some HORRIBLE stuff.
Effexor is indeed horrible... I was on it in conjunction with Zyprexa and with I forget what to help me sleep... to stop the brain from spinning all night as I was simply unable to stop thinking so could not sleep, part of my problem that they kept thinking was bipolar... as I said I am not bipolar I simply get on these creative binges and highs and cannot stop, the ideas come and they do not stop and I am afraid to let them stop...
at any rate, with the Effexor and the Zyprexa I was a zombie... not only were there no creative highs, there were no thoughts, no ideas... nothing... I was the waking dead... totally flat-lined...
no emotions, nothing... my face was flat, my eyes which are usually alive and flashing with life and fire were dull and flat... my husband was not happy, said he would rather cope with the all night waking person than the dead person...my psychologist who was trying to help me deal with childhood trauma that had emerged with the breakdown that followed the death of my dog... don't even smile... I had a complete emotional crash following the death of my favourite dog, my soul mate and total partner and ended up in hospital and so much emerged as a result...
said one day that he was having a hard time getting past the training I had received as a child, our family does not display emotion and he said that I had learned my lessons well...
it occurred to me as I left the session that the drugs were not helping... so I quit that day...
just went cold turkey... no one told me that it was not a good idea or that it was not really possible to do this. I went home and threw out the three bottles of pills and had no problems at all...
when the psychiatrist and my regular doctor found out they were upset about it and kept offering to put me in hospital or to prescribe stuff to help me cope with the reaction and so on, but I was doing fine and figured that any other meds would mean an adjustment time and it might not go so well...
I was smirking about it to the psychologist one day and he really told me off, told me how lucky I had been and how foolish... and then I read Bridgey's account of coming off Effexor... and had a time of retroactive panic...
no one will ever get me to take any of that stuff again... EVER....
as for when the Topomax will begin to work, it takes different time periods with different people, the trick is to hang in there and let it get up to speed...
the metabolism, the present weight, so many factors play a role...
I mentioned earlier that I saw weight loss begin almost immediately, three pounds the first week, but it took several months to lose a significant amount and it has slowed down now...
I have not lost any weight for several weeks...
I keep hoping.. but then again I have not gained any so that is good...The binging is going to come under control as the topomax begins to affect the part of the mind that controls that tendency...
and I forget which part of the brain does that...
it may be in the frontal lobe as that is where my epileptic problems occur and the topomax seems to help that too ever so much...
when I have a problem remembering or I am especially clumsy or have an outburst of foot in mouth disease I always title it one of my F-7 Moments...
works for me and people are more sympathetic as a rule... they are never quite sure what it is, but if it has a letter and a number it must be serious and they need to be considerate <g>
other than husbands of course....give it time and encourage her, she will get there and it will help...
meanwhile, encourage her to drink lots of water, it is in style and it helps... and if she nibbles on cashews or pecans, an ounce or two when she feels the urge to binge it helps and is healthy and cuts her appetite urges too...kat
Posted by bridgey1128 on October 1, 2004, at 18:48:20
In reply to RE: More info please...stressed, posted by headachequeen on October 1, 2004, at 18:04:48
I have found that when I am having withdrawl symptoms with the Topamax..I hallucinate. Anyone else have this? Not meaning to scare anyone off. This was an accidental thing. What happened was I missed a dose that I thought I had taken and then it was too late in the day to take it. So I skipped it...well..maybe I'll just risk it next time. Was REALLY tired that evening to I laid down for a nap. My husband woke me up to say goodnight to my daughter and I kept saying something about the walls were green and a picture was a different shape. Now, to me I SAW these things with my own eyes and when I think back I remember them clear as day as he says I was seeing them. So I know I was awake. I also didn't know who my daughter was. He kept saying Say goodnight to Hannah...and I said..Who? Who?...I couldn't grasp who she was for some reason right then and then I noticed my room was green and the picture on the wall was now a melted trapazoid shape. This has happened several times, usually when I need to go UP on my meds. It's like I have needed to go up for so long my body is going through withdrawl. If I ever have to come off this drug....whoo wee! Maybe I should just get a bottle of booze or something and watch the show! JUST KIDDING!!!!
Posted by headachequeen on October 1, 2004, at 20:41:59
In reply to RE: More info please...stressed, posted by bridgey1128 on October 1, 2004, at 18:48:20
> I have found that when I am having withdrawl symptoms with the Topamax..I hallucinate.
A while ago I had to quit taking Topomax and Tegritol both for some tests they wanted to do..
there were no withdrawal symptoms other than me muttering and growling because the seizures started in right away of course, two and three a night, every night until I started back on Teg and Topomax and worked back up to a controlling dose...
hallucinate? no but I did daydream about strangling the person whose idea it was to do the tests without the anti-seizure meds... does that count???
kat
Posted by Aussie on October 1, 2004, at 23:34:06
In reply to RE: More info please...stressed » bridgey1128, posted by headachequeen on October 1, 2004, at 20:41:59
Zyprexa is probably the drug that made you feel like a zombie.
Effexor doesn't do that. I understand that getting off Effexor is 'not a good thing'and I don't look forward to that time. However the drug is a wonder drug!
I am so happy to be on it.As for Topomax, it made me much more anxious -like extremely, which is unusual the doctor said. Apparently if you've had a childhood trauma then Topomax is not for you. I took it for a month increasing slowly and I lost weight almost immediately.
I should reiterate that as many have said before me - everyone reacts differently.
Has anyone had problems weaning off serzone?
Stressed - Your daughter is lucky to have such a caring Mother :)
Posted by bridgey1128 on October 2, 2004, at 8:39:36
In reply to RE: More info please...stressed » bridgey1128, posted by headachequeen on October 1, 2004, at 20:41:59
Aussie..Did I mention I was a redhead? We have weird side effects...that's probably the reason. I have always reacted weirdly and differently to drugs and always had the most odd side effects. That is probably why NO WEIGHT LOSS with the Topomax. Because that would be a DESIRED one, you see.....ah the joys of being a redhead...*sigh*
Posted by headachequeen on October 2, 2004, at 9:56:47
In reply to RE: More info please...stressed, posted by Aussie on October 1, 2004, at 23:34:06
> Zyprexa is probably the drug that made you feel like a zombie.
> Effexor doesn't do that.I should have been more concise in my reply earlier... some journalist I am lol...
I was originally on Effexor and Welbutrin, then just on Effexor when they realised that seizures were a problem as I was epileptic and welbutrin causes seizures and exacerbates seizures...
with the effexor by itself I was a zombie... the zyprexa added to it made me a whole clan of zombies or whatever a group of zombies is called...
being celtic in background, I would of course be a clan <g>
and it was not pretty I am told...and you have again reminded me how fortunate I was to have such an easy time coming off the two of them...
never again....
I don't care if the sky is falling and the earth opening at my feet...
never again...
I will stick pins in my eyes first
kat
Posted by bridgey1128 on October 2, 2004, at 10:32:22
In reply to RE: More info please...stressed, posted by headachequeen on October 2, 2004, at 9:56:47
Effexor didn't do anything for me except not work and up my libido beyond belief. I think it flipped me into a mania. Which just proves I shouldn't have been taking it to begin with. At that time I didn't know I was bipolar, which explains why I didn't know what was going on. For people who are bipolar STAY AWAY FROM EFFEXOR!!!! NOT a good drug. Actually people who are bipolar should stay away from antidepressants period. They don't work. Which isn't good because Topomax isn't good for depression, which is another catch 22. *sigh*. Problem for me now is I was doing well but now I feel like I am going back into another depression. I just have to fight them because frankly, I don't have the $ to go to a psych or a a counselor. My deductible is so high it would cause me to STAY depressed to worry about paying the freaking bill!!! So I guess I'll have to battle it yet again if it comes. Time to up the meds again I guess.....
Posted by stressed on October 2, 2004, at 11:37:34
In reply to RE: More info please...stressed, posted by Aussie on October 1, 2004, at 23:34:06
Aussie.....when you say you lost weight almost emmediatly, are you saying after a couple of weeks? I am expecting to see her lose in the second week, and that may be unreasonable. Because of her binging problem, I am not supposed to mention a diet, weight, etc. at all to her. I really can't ask her if she has lost anything. Doctors instructions, of course. Thanks for your input. All of you are helping me in getting through these tough times with her. Thank you so very much.
Posted by headachequeen on October 2, 2004, at 13:15:14
In reply to RE: More info please...stressed, posted by stressed on October 2, 2004, at 11:37:34
> Aussie.....when you say you lost weight almost emmediatly, are you saying after a couple of weeks? I am expecting to see her lose in the second week, and that may be unreasonable.
Okay, Stressed...
I am not Aussie, but I am a redhead like Bridgey, does that count :) ???
and I have all the freak and strange health things that go with being a redhead... arrghhhanyway, first, let me add a word to the advice that you have been given, when you do notice a change, please encourage her, be supportive and compliment her...
it is soooo helpful...I remember people walking on eggshells around me... I have done the anorexic trip and looked like a skeleton with flesh and done a version of the binge trip and no one would say anything if I lost weight...
they were afraid to comment in case it was because I was sick and was losing weight because of some dire symptoms or because it might embarrass me...
hey world!!! I have lost a lot of weight...
I look almost like the person I was before the wrong meds were prescribed and I started eating to combat the boredom and the unhappiness ....
it would be nice to have someone notice that I now wear clothes a few sizes smaller...other than that, I did start to lose weight right away... it was only a couple of pounds...three in the first week... not a hugely noticeable thing unless you saw the number registering on the scale...
and the binge attacks were curbed... suddenly I no longer found myself standing there with food in hand that I really didn't want but ate because it was in my hand and why waste it...
some days I was simply not hungry at all... I forced myself to eat something... yoghurt or carrot sticks...
I had a craving for protein, chicken was a favourite choice...lately I am on a more balanced diet plan of choice not of planning I must admit, but I do eat only one main meal a day with perhaps a snack in the evening of a slice of whole wheat bread and some cheese or nuts or peanut butter that sort of thing... whereas before it was all day constantly...
my office had a supply of emergency rations in case I felt myself about to die of starvation at fifteen-minute intervals...
I was not hungry, I was lonely, bored, deprived, whatever...
the topomax curbed so many wrong feelings about eating...
and it worked over a period of time... from a size 16 pair of jeans to a size eight... and from a large jacket or sweater and sometimes and XL to a small...IT WILL WORK but do not panic as that will create more stress for her and she has enough stress about her weight and her binge-eating and whatever is causing it (binge-eating and anorexia and all the eating disorders seldom just happen so my shrink keeps telling me)
Be positive and supportive... and patient...
it is VITAL...
she has been on the med for a short time...
I saw the weight loss on the scale and that helped... I saw the weight loss effectively in a month or so when I had to get a size smaller in jeans and pants and skirts...
can't remember exactly when...
I do know that by September (started in January) I was in a size ten...and she will be healthier if it does not come off in a matter of days too....
kat
Posted by stressed on October 2, 2004, at 17:28:06
In reply to RE: More info please...stressed, posted by headachequeen on October 2, 2004, at 13:15:14
Kat,
Thanks so much for the support and information. It was really uplifting and encouraging for me. How great for you to be able to lose that amount of weight. I just keep thinking "what if she is that one person that Topamax doesn't work?." I know how hard it is to lose weight. You are really helping me through this, more than you know.....really. Anyone feel free to add information anytime. Thanks
Posted by headachequeen on October 2, 2004, at 19:57:23
In reply to Thanks for the advice, posted by stressed on October 2, 2004, at 17:28:06
> Kat,
> Thanks so much for the support and information. It was really uplifting and encouraging for me. How great for you to be able to lose that amount of weight. I just keep thinking "what if she is that one person that Topamax doesn't work?." I know how hard it is to lose weight. You are really helping me through this, more than you know.....really. Anyone feel free to add information anytime. Thanks
I have been helped here by so many people and soooo sooo often... that I am happy to be able to help someone else... my chance to pay it forward...just remember to give things time and that you will not notice the change overnight...
relax and be patient...it will come...
as I think of our foster kids and our own kids, and there were more foster kids than own kids <g>, I have to say that the most important thing you can do is let her know that you love her no matter what
love is the most important tool in her arsenal... love and support as she tries to overcome this... and unconditional love is the most important thing of all...
now my bog challenge is to keep the weight off and to beat the seizures... I used to think it would be wonderful to be able to go to sleep at night and not worry about a seizure happening...
now I remember that old saw about being careful what you wish for...
suddenly the nights became totally seizure-free and days became terrifying...
so now I am happy when they happen at night...
and I look forward to seizure-free time as long as the weight stays off...
I always have these little riders that I attach to life <g>
kat
Posted by iris2 on October 2, 2004, at 22:36:02
In reply to RE: More info please...stressed, posted by stressed on October 2, 2004, at 11:37:34
Because of her binging problem, I am not supposed to mention a diet, weight, etc. at all to her. I really can't ask her if she has lost anything. Doctors instructions, of course.
I am curious is this doctor a therapist?
I think it is paramount that your daughter sees a therapist. If she has an eating disorder than no matter what medication she needs to work on the causes. You seem really preoccupied by her weight more than the binging. How overweight is she? Are she or you over stressing the weight problem? Does she have a lot of body image problems? Is being a little overweight seems like a huge amount and impossible to deal with? Or is she actually very overweight. I know at this age body image is very important but if it is overblown by those around her that only makes her emotional problems worse. I am asking because I have had an eating disorder since I was 15. I was anorexic and weighed 56 pounds at 5'2" before I started eating again. My mother was always weight conscious. Way too worried about her own weight and both her daughters. It created many more problems for me. I have been bulimic and binge eating for 30 years now. I am better now. I do not have the symptoms most of the time but I always suffer with body image problems. I am not happy unless I am very underweight. A lot of grace and age has been helpful to me. I am probably about the correct weight for my height but I feel like I am overweight. The problem is too much emphasis on weight and not enough on physical activity and eating correctly. That is especially important to a teenager. They, as all of us need to be physically active as it creates a better more muscular body and from that a better body image to say nothing of improving self image, confidence and boosting those all important good feeling chemicals in our brains.
It would be interesting to know how much your daughter really is overweight? You sound very concerned. How much is the concern coming from her just feeling bad about herself as apposed to a big weight problem.
Unless someone is morbidly obese no one should take a medication solely to loose weight. Topimax is used as a mood stabilizer. It is news to me that a doctor would prescribe it to someone just to loose weight. It is a difficult medication and one needs not to be in any rush with it. It can be dangerous.I took it as a mood stabilizer only because I have a bladder disease that makes it virtually impossible for me to take most medications and I was able to take Topimax. My doctor never told me that it could cause weight loss. I never noticed any improvement in my bulimia or binging. Nor did it get worse. My depression either got worse or nothing happened. But it seemed to me that when I took it I was more tired. I did not loose any weight. I was on it for several months. I cannot remember how much. I weaned myself off of it. I cannot remember all the side effects but it took me a couple of months to get off the stuff. After I went off of it I gained about 30 pounds. I had no idea it was from not taking the Topimax. I had not been I touch with my doctor. When I told him how I had gained so much weight so quickly he asked me if I had stopped taking the Topimax. He than told me that it was a common effect to gain a lot of weight even though I never lost any on it when you go off of it. Because of my eating disorder and what this weight gain caused me mentally he suggested I go back on the Topimax. I immediately lost the weight I had gained but not more. I weaned myself off of it again but this time over several months.
I tell you all this because I have a lot of experience with eating disorders and it started at about your daughter’s age. I also have taken Topimax. From what you have described I do not think this is what your daughter needs to be taking. Just my opinion.
I think the doctor is dealing with symptoms and not with the disease. In the end that will hurt more than help. Loosing weight is not the answer if she has an eating disorder. I have seen people actually gain weight and be overweight but because they got the right kind of help for their eating disorders they were a lot happier and dealt with the weight gain like "normal" people do.
I hope I did not make you feel too unhappy with what is going on but I think there needs to be good judgment when dealing with such complicated and life threatening illnesses and medications.
irene
Posted by stressed on October 3, 2004, at 12:28:30
In reply to Re: Thanks for the advice » stressed, posted by headachequeen on October 2, 2004, at 19:57:23
Ok, here is the situation. My daughter weighs around 170, maybe a little more. She is 5'6. She has about six Cheerleading uniforms she needs to be able to wear through out the year. So far they are really tight, and I know she will be very hurt if she cannot cheer because she can't wear the cloths. She lives for this chearleading thing. I am a fittnes instuctor, and she has been working out with a trainer and doing cardio for over one year. Nothing is changing. Her Phys. told us that Topamax changes the way you think about food, and could possibly help along with cognative therapy. I see how this will disrupt her life and it's painful to hear the comments the kids and other people make about her gainging this weight. I know I can't shield her from that, and it will eventually get to her. She keeps saying she doesn't want to be fat. I wish it were me, because I know it's harder to watch it happen to your child. Thanks for any other adivice anyone wants to contribute. I really have been relying on all of you for support.
Posted by headachequeen on October 3, 2004, at 12:48:47
In reply to Re: Thanks for the advice, posted by stressed on October 3, 2004, at 12:28:30
> Ok, here is the situation. My daughter weighs around 170, maybe a little more. She is 5'6.
could the fitness and exercise program be bumped up a notch to help her work off the weight??through the time you have been on the list she should SAFELY have been able to move up to the next level (50 mg) of the med... and it should be beginning to curb the urge to eat...
this is going to work... but we have to give it time....
and we have to be confident for her and with her and with you...
and we are here to help you get through it so you can be confident for her...the negative approach will not help you and we are not going there...
agreed???
kat
Posted by iris2 on October 3, 2004, at 12:55:21
In reply to Re: Thanks for the advice, posted by stressed on October 3, 2004, at 12:28:30
> Ok, here is the situation. My daughter weighs around 170, maybe a little more. She is 5'6. She has about six Cheerleading uniforms she needs to be able to wear through out the year. So far they are really tight, and I know she will be very hurt if she cannot cheer because she can't wear the cloths. She lives for this chearleading thing. I am a fittnes instuctor, and she has been working out with a trainer and doing cardio for over one year. Nothing is changing. Her Phys. told us that Topamax changes the way you think about food, and could possibly help along with cognative therapy. I see how this will disrupt her life and it's painful to hear the comments the kids and other people make about her gainging this weight. I know I can't shield her from that, and it will eventually get to her. She keeps saying she doesn't want to be fat. I wish it were me, because I know it's harder to watch it happen to your child. Thanks for any other adivice anyone wants to contribute. I really have been relying on all of you for support.
Ok so I think I understand you to be saying that she is in "therapy" as in talking to someone?
I guess her doctor is of the opinion that this is not just a simple overweight problem. That she has some psychiatric issues that are affecting her. You said that she binge eats? I certainly understand how impportant the cheerleeding is to a teen and how important her weight is . How other kids can be so cruel about it all. How it will affect her self esteem. I guess from the way you speak about it all it makes me causious as to what her problems actually are. It is difficult to ascertain from you whether she has mental health issues or not. I understand your great concern as her Mother.Not wanting her to be hurt by life. If she is seeing a pdoc and he/she thinks her problem with her weight is psychological (not that is usually is not) to a degree that say she would have a diagnosis of an eating disorder and therefore she needs psychiatric medictions to ameliorate her symptoms. NOT JUST to LOOSE WEIGHT. This would be an abuse of medication and would not be to her advantage in the long term. No one wants to be fat. Lots of us have trouble keeping our weight down . Most of us do not have major mental health issues that would demand psychaitric intervention for it. I wish you and your daughter the best.irene
Posted by bridgey1128 on October 3, 2004, at 13:51:21
In reply to Re: Thanks for the advice » stressed, posted by iris2 on October 3, 2004, at 12:55:21
If she has muscle and is 170...that isn't too overweight for 5ft 6. I hope she isn't trying to look at the scale and is just telling by clothes if she is losing weight. Kids are cruel and mean. I know cheerleading is important to her but honestly, it's not the end of the world. She's only 16. Yes, I know, try to explain that to a 16 year old. I am 5'6" and at 170, because of the muscle I have, I look good. I weigh 230 right now and look like I weigh about 190. I guess it depends on your body type. Can she not just get bigger uniforms? I mean heaven sake. It's not like she isn't healthy enough to cheer is she? When I was in high school we had a chick on the squad who was pretty chunky but dang she could cheer better than any of them and ended up being Captain her senior year. It sounds like maybe she has some serious outside influences that have to do with her self image. Life isn't all about the outside image. Skinny doesn't equal healthy either. As long as she eats healthy and you said she has been exercising (hopefully not obsessively) her weight shouldn't matter. She's not morbidly obese, just slightly overweight for her height and if people can't keep their mouth shut about her gaining a few pounds then what snobs!! Maybe she needs some better people to hang around with. If she has real friends they will understand what she is going through thick or thin..excuse the pun. It sounds like you are a really supportive mom and she is blessed to have you. I hope she has a few good friends she can trust as well. She is going to need them.
Posted by stressed on October 3, 2004, at 14:59:58
In reply to Re: Thanks for the advice » stressed, posted by iris2 on October 3, 2004, at 12:55:21
Thanks so much everyone. She is seeing an M.D. and a shrink, so I think we are safe there. I hope. I will let you know how it goes. You are all such wonderful people. Thanks again.
Posted by headachequeen on October 3, 2004, at 16:15:33
In reply to Re: Thanks for the advice, posted by bridgey1128 on October 3, 2004, at 13:51:21
> If she has muscle and is 170...that isn't too overweight for 5ft 6. I hope she isn't trying to look at the scale and is just telling by clothes if she is losing weight. Kids are cruel and mean. I know cheerleading is important to her but honestly, it's not the end of the world. She's only 16. Yes, I know, try to explain that to a 16 year old. I am 5'6" and at 170, because of the muscle I have, I look good. I weigh 230 right now and look like I weigh about 190. I guess it depends on your body type. Can she not just get bigger uniforms? I mean heaven sake. It's not like she isn't healthy enough to cheer is she? When I was in high school we had a chick on the squad who was pretty chunky but dang she could cheer better than any of them and ended up being Captain her senior year. It sounds like maybe she has some serious outside influences that have to do with her self image. Life isn't all about the outside image. Skinny doesn't equal healthy either. As long as she eats healthy and you said she has been exercising (hopefully not obsessively) her weight shouldn't matter. She's not morbidly obese, just slightly overweight for her height and if people can't keep their mouth shut about her gaining a few pounds then what snobs!! Maybe she needs some better people to hang around with. If she has real friends they will understand what she is going through thick or thin..excuse the pun. It sounds like you are a really supportive mom and she is blessed to have you. I hope she has a few good friends she can trust as well. She is going to need them.
I have been thinking along the same lines, Bridgey and I have to add that I have seen photos of Bridgey.. it is hard to believe her weight when you see her photos at 190...
When I was in high school I was on the cheering squad too until I was kicked off for breaking one of the rules... it seems that riding the football bus was simply the greatest sin of all time but the game was seven hours from home and the station wagon left without four of us...were we supposed to walk????
I think that at 5'6" and less than ninety pounds I looked worse than your daughter would at 170 unless she is sloppy, based on the program she follows as described, I doubt very much that she is that...
I was so grateful for the Aran-knit turtlenecks and the tartan pleated skirts and even then it didn't sink in that perhaps I needed help and that I had an eating disorder...
eating disorders didn't exist then...
I remember gaining a few pounds and panicking...
so I can sympathise on many levels with your daughter...
yes the teen peer group is brutal...
and yes the teen self is more brutal...
but she needs to remember and to learn that she has to accept herself..
if she has self esteem people will accept her as is where is and when is...the captain of our cheering squad was almost six feet tall and this in an society in which most of the girls were 5'4" or less...
she was beautiful and she knew it and so did they. Everyone wanted to be Morag...
Another of our Cheerleaders was severely crippled... she walked with a sort of hunched over style... yet she was accepted as a cheerleader and she was one of the most popular girls in school right up there with Morag and the rest...
If your daughter accepts herself as she works on this problem and holds her head up and has fun the rest will want to be with her..
they will want to BE her...
I know... I learned it... and lived it...and another problem is to make sure the weight loss doesn't go too far....
I know, you didn't need that now...
my husband keeps reminding me how thin I was when he met me... and he worries that I am going to obsess about weight again...
keeps telling people that he thinks this has gone far enough...
well I don't want to be the ninety-pound scrawny person again EVER
I see my school photos and wonder how on earth no one noticed...
but I would like to lose a few more...
and then it is a matter of holding the line...kat
Posted by iris2 on October 3, 2004, at 20:02:48
In reply to Re: Thanks for the advice » bridgey1128, posted by headachequeen on October 3, 2004, at 16:15:33
I see a trend here. It seems that many of us think that this teen has to work on self image and not worry so much about her weight. I am not there observing first hand but for those of us that have exerienced eating disorders first hand it appears that some of us think the implications of stressing this little extra weight instead of real life issues like self esteem is not the correct treatment for either an overweight person and/or a person with eating disorder problems.
If she really has an eating disorder loosing all the weight in the world will not make her happy or have a good body image.
I have not heard of taking Topamax as a first defense against eating disorders. But then again I am an old timer and have not kept up with eating disorder treatments.
What does anyone else think?
I have seen my best friend run her teen to a pdoc she knew would provide meds for her because she decided her daughter had ADHD only after seeing a pamphlet for Strattera in the pdocs office. My friend did not like this pdoc but took her daughter there anyway because she new she would just give her meds without any treatment or evaluation and she did. My friend used to think her daughter had OCD. I talked her out of that one. The girl seems to have some problems but they involve attention getting mostly as I have observed. She was supposed to take her to a therapist after the pdoc for eveluation but decided she did not want to. She takes medication for everything herself. As a kid I thought if something is wrong just go to the doctor(God) and it will be fixed. As we grow up we see that "God" cannot cure what ails us a lot of the time so we had better take care of what we have as best we can. Some people take medicine so lightly. Medicines are poisons to our systems. For all the good some of them do they all do some harm. People need to remember this and not take drugs so lightly. If I could find a way to not be so depressed and function without meds believe me I would. God knows all the medications I have taken and what the long term effects on my liver and the rest of my body are!
Irene
Sorry about the rambling but this hit me so close to home because of my friend and her attitude about taking drugs.
irene
Posted by headachequeen on October 3, 2004, at 23:11:24
In reply to Re: Thanks for the advice » headachequeen, posted by iris2 on October 3, 2004, at 20:02:48
> I see a trend here. It seems that many of us think that this teen has to work on self image and not worry so much about her weight.
This gal is going to worry about her weight no matter what... believe me I know... been there and done that...
so the topomax and counselling together will help...
but I am trying to suggest that helping her work on self esteem will help too...found that out eventually..
she seems a strong candidate for finding it out herself...
if she can make the cheering squad and is five-six and 170 and athletic and active she is not morbidly obese so well on her way to success...
she needs solid encouragement and positive support and that seems to be there...
now Mom needs positive support too...
that I hope she will find here...
heaven knows when I hit 170 at five six a while back I thought I looked pretty good after too long being too much more than that... and people thought so too...
kept telling me to stop losing weight LOLshe will get there and Mom, you will get through this...
the topomax will curb the binging...
bet she has lost interest in chocolate for starters...
kat
Posted by stressed on October 4, 2004, at 8:18:23
In reply to Re: Thanks for the advice » iris2, posted by headachequeen on October 3, 2004, at 23:11:24
I think my daughter may be begining to feel the effects, but I'm not sure. She asked me today if I would help her with some sort of a diet. I told her to decide what she wants to do and let me know. I'm really leary about this part, because I don't want her to backslide and feel anxiety about this. I know the physy. is working with her on self-esteem and trying to find out why she is binging. I am a controlling mother, and am trying to make myself stay out of this issue. (That's why I am asking everyone here, Ha) That could be a key to this binging. I will have to talk to him about her suggestion before I go on with this. As far as chocolate, she still loves it. How can she not with parents like us!!! She did say a diet coke didn't taste all that good Sat. night. Thanks so much for you support, God know I need it. I have never ever used a message board, and am learning how to do it. I think I am becoming addicted to this......just like fountain cokes. The real old fashioned thing with the soda water and syrup. Have a safe day everyone!!
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