![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 28 to 52 of 52. Go back in thread:
Posted by Burnout on October 22, 2003, at 23:15:08
In reply to Re: CRAIG and everyone please read, posted by Cass on July 3, 1999, at 17:42:09
All my life it seems I have had a terrible time with what I call 'Anxiety'. As a young teenager my nickname was 'burnout'. Everybody in school called me this. I guess because it was like I 'wasn't there' and even as an adult, a few times friends have commented that sometimes it's like I'm 'not there'. My head is always full of thoughts, silly little things that change all the time but the thinking goes on and on. Often when I go out somewhere, well, earlier I went to the supermarket. As I was walking, all the time I felt like a robot, extremely self-conscious and awkward, and fearful. Constantly thinking about how uptight and uncomfortable I feel but also knowing that its my thinking that is causing this but I can't stop it. I am this way often, always ill at ease and uncomfortable and afraid, of nothing! Often lights seem like they are too bright. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind. I have done a terrible job I think, of describing this and like someone else wrote 'looking for something that fit my symptoms'. The closest thing I have found is maybe derealization/depersonalization - I often feel like a robot. Although I am of above average intelligence and a creative, (though very abstract) thinker, I have always had the biggest blind spot for the obvious. I'm not sure I really know what DR/DP is and the other thing that comes to mind is "obsessive thinking". I didn't think that sounded like me but then in some recent looking around the net I have learned that the term "obsessive thinking" really means 'thinking too much'. I thought it meant thinking about the same thing over and over. Valium seems to be the only thing that helps - it relieves anxiety, at least most of it, for awhile. I have tried xanax - slow acting and just makes me tired without anxiety relief, - ativan - doesn't seem to do anything, - klonopin - helps only a little takes a long time to work at all, and really isn't much help. Over the years I have tried many antidepressants with no help. And I don't think I'm depressed. But I've tried, over the many years, tofranil, anafranil (i haven't seen a psychiatrist in a long time but anafranil seemed to help a little), luvox, wellbutrin, paxil, zoloft, several other SSRI's. I don't know what my problem is and I think my inability to accurately paint a picture of my 'symptoms' prevented an accurate diagnosis. I am also a recovering alcoholic (just over 2 years - truly a miracle) I drank for more that 20 years. ButI was self medicating. Alcohol helped me cope better thank any pill but I just can't drink. I don't know what to do. Any thoughts, links/resources, suggestions or if what I've said rings a few bells I would appreciate your thoughts.
Thanks & peace
Posted by Burnout on October 22, 2003, at 23:32:27
In reply to Re: CRAIG and everyone please read - Unreality, posted by Craig on November 18, 1999, at 1:34:16
After my first post I finished reading all the other replies, and this one, posted by Theresa (in 1999) sounds EXACTLY like me. Here's what she wrote:
On the subject of depersonalization and derealization, I was wondering if others have noticed that certain situations seem to make these feelings more intense. For example, if I'm in a store with bright lights, it's worse. I was walking around Target and Best Buy tonight and the bright fluorescent lights made me feel even more removed from the other shoppers. I can see everyone walking around, but I just don't feel part of what they're doing even though I'm doing pretty much the same thing that they are. It is a surreal experience. I also notice that my eyes seem to lock in a kind of stare and I have to tell myself to blink. Nobody notices that anything is wrong with me, so it isn't anything obvious to anyone but me. It is intense to me and if I think about it too much, I fall out of myself even more. Then I start to dissociate. It seems like other people in this thread either don't dissociate or maybe they don't know they're dissociating. Does anyone else feel themselves falling into a trance state? I've always been this way, so there is not a specific incident that I trace this to. I have driven around the city I've always lived in and gotten the feeling that I'm lost while in familiar surroundings. That's hard to describe. I can be very logical and say I couldn't possibly be lost, but the feeling persists. Thinking about all this now isn't helping me any. I'm staring at my keyboard as I type and my hands seem to be far away from me. The keys are moving and I know I have to be the one typing, but my hands seem disconnected from me. It is a very odd feeling. I don't feel "together" but I know that I must be. Well, it's time to stop thinking about all this. I wish I could be more helpful to you all, but I guess I have to figure out myself what to do.---Craig (by the way, there's another Craig who has begun posting to this board. My posts usually center around the same topic as this, so I hope people aren't getting confused.)
This is a very good description of ME! Much clearer than what I wrote earlier myself.
Posted by KimberlyDi on October 23, 2003, at 8:27:04
In reply to Maybe this will help explain a bit better, posted by Burnout on October 22, 2003, at 23:32:27
I can't relate to the extreme that you and the other poster are affected by this. I do get lost in myself. It's always a problem when driving. I'm also overwhelmed by ping-ponging thoughts. When I'm bored, I trace the ping-ponging thoughts back to the origin. I've never realized this before... I've never liked Target, and now I believe it is because of all that glaring white. And I would rather go to several smaller stores than do 1-stop shopping at a Walmart Supercenter. All those people swarming around, as removed from me as a colony of ants.
Anyways, I wrote for one reason. To share the difference Strattera made on some of these symptoms. I could keep to one line of thought without being lost in it. People became interesting to me. I started up conversations and started making friends. I smiled at everyone and they smiled back.
My son has ADHD and I was surprised to realize I had ADD symptoms also.
Good luck in your search.
KDi in Texas
Posted by natas4u on October 23, 2003, at 12:41:32
In reply to Does any of this sound familiar to you? , posted by Burnout on October 22, 2003, at 23:15:08
Hi Burnout and others.
It is funny reading all the people because it seems that we have some symptoms in common and others we dont (excuse my english grammar if wrong, Im spanish in an Italian cyber cafe...).
Per example lights do not seem to affect me at all, as matter of fact I love bright lights. And an other odd thing are gas stations. I love them, the clean and bright ones. I think it is the only place that is not static, you are just passing by.
Any way, I see that some people relate to this because of incidentes in their lifes that brought them to numbing or brain dazing and also people that are just like that. It does not really matter, bodies share similar responses no matter how thay have been triggered.
I can realate to you liking alcohol. I have never had a problem with it, but I know I could if I dont watch it. As a matter of fact certain people that are extremly curious do have a tendency to discover the much needed new situations that will give them a little dopamine through drugs and alcohol. For some people this is innate and for some aquired (like some people with PTSS).
You know what you have in common with Michael Shumacker (formula race driver)? He is pretty much fearless. I think people like you are the ones that discovered America, travelled to the north pole, worked in submarines. Or even before in the stone age, the ones that searched for new caves, etc. A type of persone that was indispensable for older society, and some present undeveloped societies, in order for it to progress, the explorer, the one that can think she or his way out of situation because of being able to dissociate (natural response to factors that are no longer common in western society).
I might be wrong, but maybe what you need are not medical druggs or alcohol, maybe it is just a little more action???
I am a tension addict for what I was told. Actually I get extremely depressed when I do not have anything to do. As soon as I become active, it goes away. I can be active by thinking non stop of lots of different things, by going really fast on a vehicle (stoped doing that thought), etc. Apparently a long tame a go I was taken away the capability of returning to the normal relaxed state of the brain (many years of not relaxing).
Does some body relate to this? Not being able to stop because it makes you depressed (or something similar to depression). This is tha key element for me, I know if I learn to relax with out dozing or getting depressed I will be cured. Maybe for other people too, even if thay have not gone through trauma.
Contrary to what I think, my friends also say I am pretty much above avarage in intelect and creativity, but not mathematical though, can not concentrate.Well sorry all to be so long. Im just putting everything my mind comes up so together we might find explanations. Continuos brain storming lots of you are already used too, he, he.
Happy to hear from other people, very happy.
Posted by KimberlyDi on October 23, 2003, at 13:54:13
In reply to Re: Does any of this sound familiar to you? , posted by natas4u on October 23, 2003, at 12:41:32
Spanish in an Italian Cyber Cafe? How exotic compared to my life!
Posted by melbob on October 23, 2003, at 14:32:58
In reply to Does any of this sound familiar to you? , posted by Burnout on October 22, 2003, at 23:15:08
hi...i used to feel that way a lot as a child. that was way back when the only thing they gave children was valium, so i had valium; not for long, i don't think. the only way i know i was on it was that i found an old bottle of it a few years ago, with my name on it, dated 1972 (so i was 7 yrs old then). also, my mother is/was an alcoholic (she has passed recently). i, too, am an alcoholic, sober for 3-1/2 yrs (truly a miracle, like you!) i still have those feelings a little bit every now and then (the feeling of "not being here"). recently, i was put on effexor for depression (divorce, child custody junk). the effexor made the feeling much worse, although it seemed to help the depression as long as i took a sedative along with it. after reading the posts here about effexor, i decided to stop taking it. the side effects got worse, but finally went away (with the help of benadryl and very small doses of klonopin). i don't know if any of this will help you, but congrats on your sobriety for sure! thank you for letting me share.
melbob
Posted by Jasmine Neroli on October 23, 2003, at 23:57:07
In reply to Maybe this will help explain a bit better, posted by Burnout on October 22, 2003, at 23:32:27
Hi: Thanks for digging up that old post..it describes the feelings of derealization I have always had since a child, EXACTLY!!!
I do that same thing, esepecially in big stores with a ceiling full of fluorescent lights or long hallways with low ceilings and artifical light. I feel so "out of the scene" that sometimes I have to actually hold on to something to "bring myself back" to reality. I feel on the verge of fainting at that point. I too have to keep blinking and refocus over and over to feel "part of" the scene.
It's scary!
I get it when I'm driving sometimes too and literally have to "give my head a shake" to carry on!
It's all part of Generalized Anxiety Disorder it seems, along with the excessive "thinking" and worrying over and over, planning out strategies for possible terrible situations etc., etc. Although, I'm wondering if the lighting is causing some kind of unusual brain electrical activity???
I have been treated with Celexa (worked quite well, but eventually too many side-effects) with Ativan, as needed, at first. Remeron...terrible stuff for me, Clonazepam..loved it, but my Pdoc doesn't. And now BuSpar, which may have just started working lately, but is also giving me annoying side-effects.
None of the above have stopped the in-store de-realization at all!!
Good luck in finding your answers.
Posted by natas4u on October 24, 2003, at 9:41:00
In reply to Re: Does any of this sound familiar to you? » natas4u, posted by KimberlyDi on October 23, 2003, at 13:54:13
What is it like? Couple, house, child, dog and car? Any body can travel, its all a matter of wanting it.
Posted by matrad6781 on January 22, 2004, at 20:47:42
In reply to Depersonalization/Derealization, posted by Craig on July 3, 1999, at 2:39:38
I have a long history of Depersonalization/derealization (DP/DR) There are many good sites available about this disease. The world experts are Daphne Simeon, MD at Mt Sinai in NYC and Mauricio Sierra, MD and colleagues at Institute of Psychiatry, King's College, London. You can do a search for their works at NLM online (Entrez Pubmed). The descriptions of their patients' symptoms and histories are startingly similar to the point of being stereotypical. Read this stuff and it will let you know if DP is your problem.
Posted by Tiss on January 23, 2004, at 9:33:48
In reply to Re: Depersonalization/Derealization » Craig, posted by matrad6781 on January 22, 2004, at 20:47:42
I had this terrible feeling from age 15 to my 30's after a horrible person slipped me some LSD (when I was 15)-that was in 1972. I was SO traumatized by this experience that I was in a mental hospital for 4 months when I was 15. It caused anticipatory anxiety for the next 20 years, everyday, 24/7. I started going to an excellent therapist ( in my 30's) that diagosed me with PTSD and I finally started getting better (took meds and had lots of therapy). On top of this, my mother was a bipolar alcoholic and I was sexually molested by my sister's creepy boyfriend (who later became her husband) from about age 12 or 13 to about 15 or 16 (hard to remember). So when you put all that together it's a bad mix. I began drinking at age 19 to stop those awful DP/DR feelings which of course was only temporary. I do think the DP/DR is associated with childhood neglect, and all kinds of abuse and other traumas. The good news is this: I am 47 , have had lots of good therapy and have found good medications for me- it is the benzos which I know is controversial but the SSRI's and other meds had too many side effects. I have not drank in 20 years. For all of you who are experiencing this totally anxiety producing unfortable feeling, I feel for you but THERE IS HOPE! Get with a good therapist and good psychiatrist to help find the RIGHT meds for you. You are NOT crazy but don't delay in getting help. I can honestly tell you that I've not experienced DP/DR in many, many years and I wouldn't have believed that I ever would be able to say that. I thought that I had to live this way FOREVER and that was intolerable to me. Another thing that might help is EMDR (rapid eye movement therapy) that is showing to prove helpful to many people with DP/DR. Good luck to all. My heart goes out to you. Again, DO NOT give up hope. Tiss
Posted by blueeye on January 26, 2004, at 22:37:40
In reply to Re: Depersonalization/Derealization, posted by Tiss on January 23, 2004, at 9:33:48
I get this feeling before I am going to have a seizure, and would strongly suggest that people who have it make sure that they get checked by a neuroligist.
I did a lot of LSD in the 90s, but have had this feeling because I am an epileptic, and it goes with my auras. I take trileptil, topomax for seizure control/bi-polar and a great panic disorder, which is my wonderful left-over from all that acid.
Posted by willy on February 2, 2004, at 12:46:09
In reply to Re: Depersonalization/Derealization, posted by Tiss on January 23, 2004, at 9:33:48
I have been having these weird feelings as well for about a month and a half...it started after I had a panic attack while smoking marijuana...I have been neurotic my whole life basically and have always been a bit of a worrier and I was only an occasional pot smoker...I went to see the doctor because it felt like I was still high after a few days and I was getting worried...I was given 0.5 mg of Klonazepam, which helped, but after reading about the addictive quality of it I decided to stop taking it...I have been on Lexapro for about 4 weeks now and it seems to really be helping with the feelings of DP...before I was even too afraid to drive, now I am driving to class everyday and I have stopped being constantly afraid, even though when I have nothing to keep me busy my mind always wanders...another problem I still have is with my dreams...it sounds strange, but my dreams seem more real than reality sometimes and my mind tends to wander back to the vivid images I have in my dreams...recently my pdoc has started me off on 2.5 mgs of abilify, a major tranquilizer that she says might stop my rapid and negative thoughts...after only four days or so of taking it, it seems to be working, if only just a tad bit...hang in there everyone, I'll be thinking about all of you
Posted by TexasChic on February 3, 2004, at 9:56:47
In reply to Re: CRAIG and everyone please read, posted by natas4u on July 26, 2003, at 4:09:07
> My girl friend described to me the derealization state, before she even new it is my way of life. She was induced into it from taking SSRI, when she stopped taking it, it disapeared.<
I have been taking Lexapro for about 4 months and I feel as if it has induced a derealization state in me. I also feel extremely apathetic. I just don't want to deal with my life. I find myself putting off paying the bills until they are late, but I can't seem to care. It all seems to be happening to someone else. I was doing well on Prozac for years, but some stress in my life triggered some panic attacks and constant anxiety, so my doc said I should try something else (Prozac is supposed to be more stimulating). I'm thinking of going back to the Prozac though, I think I would rather deal with anxiety than this. I've had at least two bills turned over to collection agencies and I can't seem to care. In addition, I've been doing alot of self medicating with alcohol and pot. I know that probably makes things worse, but I guess you deal as best you can with the the situation you're in.> My memory has been getting worst and I can not sustain concentration unless the matter is extremely interesting or convinient. For one side things don't seem to be important enough to memorize and for the other I don't seem to have time.<
I completely understand the concentration and memory thing, and not feeling things are important enough to memorize. I also understand the feeling brought up in other posts about target and walmart, I get that same feeling, but never really gave it much thought for some reason. Its definitely the lights and the amount of people scurrying around. It makes me feel dizzy and disconnected from reality.
I'm glad I looked here today, this will help me describe to my doctor how I'm feeling. Thanks!
Posted by Tiss on February 3, 2004, at 12:25:06
In reply to Re: CRAIG and everyone please read, posted by TexasChic on February 3, 2004, at 9:56:47
Please call you doctor! This is not a comfortable way to feel-at all and it sounds like it is seriously affecting your life. Everybody responds to medication differently so the Lexapro may not be the right med for you! I took Nardil many, many years ago while this was going on in addition to a small amount of xanax until the Nardil kicked in. I'm not suggesting that drug because even though it can work there are many side effects (for me there were). However, my point being that you do not need to go on feeling this way especially when there are all kinds of meds and med combinations that might work for you. Hang in there and work with your doc for the best med/s. I wish when I was going throught this years ago I would have had a support group to explain to me what was going on. It scared me to death. I understand now that it is an anxiety related symptom which certainly didn't make it any more comfortable! Best of luck to you! Tiss
Posted by confusedeeyore on March 19, 2004, at 0:25:12
In reply to Re: Depersonalization/Derealization, posted by blueeye on January 26, 2004, at 22:37:40
I have been experiencing Depersonalization/derealization for close to 15 years now. I am now 30, so this is half my life. It seems to have gotten much worse over time and recently has gotten much worse.I find myself thinking of suicide to remove me from this pain. I cannot experience anything and sometimes get lost in places I have been going to for years as I forget where I am.My bills go unpaid and this adds stress to my life as does my inability to sleep. I have used sleeping pills every night for 2.5 years (Diphenhydramine hydrochloride) and wonder if this has made my problem worse. As I write this, I am having a panic attack about how I feel. I was smoking a small amount of marijuana every night (1-2 "hits") to help me sleep for a while until it started causing me panic attacks.I started using it when I was 29 and quit shortly after my 30th birthday ( I used maybe 1/4 oz in my entire life). I used to love working on my cars and this kept my mind off it, but now I am so tired and completely lacking in the ability to enjoy it that I no longer can even do basic maintenance on them. I have been on anti depressants (Celexa, Wellbutrin, Paxil) but they do not help and in some cases made it worse! I shelled out $500 of my own money to have a series of tests from my doctor, but they came up negative.He told me I was depressed, but after months on expensive meds( I am poor and have no insurance ) they did nothing to help me, so I stopped using them.I work a menial job because it does not require much of me despite being very intelligent. What kind of doctor should I try? Endocrinologist? Psychyatrist? General Practicioner? should I have myself comitted? Please! If anyone has a solution or something to tell my doctor, please tell me!
Posted by Tiss on March 19, 2004, at 10:02:17
In reply to Re: Depersonalization/Derealization, posted by confusedeeyore on March 19, 2004, at 0:25:12
Please go see a psychiatrist ASAP. They see this all the time. It is part of an anxiety disorder and it is in the DSM (diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders). I really understand how you feel cause I've been there. What helped me most was getting on Xanax and and then Nardil (an antidepressant for atypical depression). That was some years ago and now I take klonopin as needed and Restoril for sleep. I also had alot of counseling. But there is hope, you must NOT lose hope. Those other antidepresssants (which had not been invented when I had my worst DP) did not help my depression and made me more anxious. But, there are so many meds to try that I hope you find a good doctor that will LISTEN to you and help you find the right meds. If you feel suicidal maybe you do need hospitalization for awhile. No shame there! I totally felt that way and was hospitalized and I'm glad that hospital was there for me! Please call someone today. Please write back and let us know how you're doing. Get a recommendation from someone on a good doctor and tell them this is an emergency if you are feeling suicidal. If you can't get a personal recommendation call the medical school nearest you and try to get a recommendation for a psychiatrist. I'm praying for you! Tiss
Posted by SDA on March 20, 2004, at 12:14:04
In reply to Re: CRAIG and everyone please read, posted by TexasChic on February 3, 2004, at 9:56:47
I think I can relate to a lot of this. It seems more and more like I'm living out a dream. I guess the best way to describe it is that if something surreal happened (say, a pig flying by my window), it wouldn't seem out of place at all.
I can remember short spells of this when I was younger (19 now), when I would completely space out for hours at a time. This time it won't go away. I've taken Prozac recently for depression, but it only seemed to aggrivate this feeling. Now I'm on Zoloft, but it doesn't seem to have helped much.
Just out of curiosity, have any of you ever experienced a prolonged fuzzy feeling in the head? I've been getting this off and on, and is a completely new experience for me. Its almost as if my head is filled with cotton.
Posted by matrad6781 on March 20, 2004, at 14:25:45
In reply to Re: Depersonalization/Derealization, posted by confusedeeyore on March 19, 2004, at 0:25:12
You definitely have dp/dr. You need specialized therapy. Most psychiatrists never heard of dp or they think it is a symptom of a more common ailment like anxiety, panic, depression or schizophrenia. But primary dp does exist and has its own DSM-IV code. There are two groups focussing all of their energies on the treatment of dp. They are the dept of psychiatry at Mt Sinai, NYC (chief investigator, Daphne Simeon, MD) and Depersonalization Research Unit, Institute of Psychiatry, King's College, London, UK (Drs. Phillips and Sierra-Siegert. You owe it to yourself to get evaluated by either of these groups. If that's not possible, then download their recent publications, print them and hand the copies to your psychiatrist. There are exciting new promising therapies involving NMDA and NE sites, including drugs like lamotrigine and Memantine. Check out these Websites:
http://web1.iop.kcl.ac.uk/IoP/Departments/PsychMed/CNeuPsy/DPU/staff.shtml
Posted by confusedeeyore on March 21, 2004, at 3:00:46
In reply to Re: Depersonalization/Derealization, posted by matrad6781 on March 20, 2004, at 14:25:45
Thanks to evryone who replied to my post. I feel that I should also mention that I had a history of panic attacks dating back to age 5 and have also suffered from a lifelong struggle with depression and low self esteem. I would put myself in a hospital during the worst episodes, but I own a home and have a mortgage to pay so that is not an option as I have no savings to pay my bills during a hospital stay, nor do I have any form of insurance. I will try to get up the motivation to seek out a psychiatrist as soon as I can afford an appointment. I do experience emotions, some quite strong, but it seems to exist in a part of my mind that is just outside my reach, and I cannot fully integrate that part into my normal feeling of experience. When I was smoking pot, I got high, but was fully cognisant of everything around me and had fully rational thoughts, I just had an interruption in my sensory and motor skills that left me helpless waiting for the feeling to end. Drinking alcohol is the same as this as I feel the same drunk or sober, I just can't walk straight if I am drunk. This leads to my panic attacks when I am under the influence of either substance as my logic leads me to question the feelings and wonder if they will ever end. This is quite unpleasant as there is no way for me to even temporarily escape my thoughts other than to occupy my mind on other subjects like engineering a new car project so that my focus is not on the unreality that is omnipresent in my conciousness. My current project has become trying to make sense of DP/DR, hopefully having enough knowledge of the subject to be able to have a productive relationship with a mental health professional and increase my chances of success.
Posted by Tiss on March 21, 2004, at 10:21:05
In reply to Re: Depersonalization/Derealization, posted by confusedeeyore on March 21, 2004, at 3:00:46
When I felt the DP is was ALL I could think about. The anticipatory anxiety about it never going away was horrible! I urge you to make an appt with a psychiatrist ASAP. Tell them you have no insurance but are willing to pay him/her out. THat is what I have to do to this day as I have such a high deductible that it is like not having insurance. There is HOPE. THere are great new meds. The psychiatrist will NOT think you're a freak. Anybody who has experienced this describes it as intensely uncomfortable. I do think that anxiety about DP is what makes the whole deal so hard. I am almost 48 and haven't smoked pot since highschool because it made me very paranoid and I experienced DP while smoking it. That kept me from being a pothead! But I did enjoy drinking because it lessened my anxiety at the time of drinking but then, the day after I'd feel worse than ever. So, I quit driniking 20 something years ago and that's when I started going to psychiatrists to start getting help for the DP. Good luck. I will be watching your posts. Try to forget about the money-it's only money you will be spending and it will be worth every penney if you get on the right meds. This DP eats away at your whole life ( it did mine until I got treatment).
Posted by natas4u on March 24, 2004, at 14:10:31
In reply to Re: Depersonalization/Derealization, posted by confusedeeyore on March 21, 2004, at 3:00:46
What has changed my life is helping people in need. It is the best advice I can give in terms of getting in touch with ones feelings (and making sure they are good ones). I have a job, but in my free time I go to a fundation that works with people that have cerebral paralisis and another one that works with elder persons. It has to be thought about and taken step by step, but it has done marvels for me. I still feel low some times, but I take pride in being a good person and knowing that there are persons there that love me for what I have become. I have been introduced into a new realm of feelings and have discovered in me some one I am so proud of that thoughts of low self esteme don't even cross my mind any more. I just can't explain how much more than therapy these activities have done to me. I have ended up doing volunteer work out of chance, but it is the best gift destiny could of given me. No society stereotypes, no politics, no apearances, just finding your naked self, trust me, it happens that humans are capable of very good things. Just can't explain it. What do you think your bad feelings would do when a human that knows better than any one what pain is, looks up to you and smiles... just smiles with his face, his eyes and his being. Making people happy makes this ride worth while more than any thing I have experienced. That's my advice, but if you take it, go step by step.
You are not alone.
Chaska
Posted by BL on April 11, 2004, at 14:05:45
In reply to CRAIG and everyone please read, posted by Rene' on July 2, 1999, at 21:11:17
Hi,
I am not sure if I have depersonalization disorder but I will explain my 'symptoms'. Please tell me if you can relate.
When I was 13, I smoked marijuana probably about 10 times. One of those times, I felt like the high never went away. Thought I had a brain tumor or was going crazy. These feelings consist of the following:
-dissoriented
-confused/spaced out etc
-difficult to follow conversations
-miss peoples' comments to me (like I don't hear them)
-hard time forming words and sentances
-feel like lots of time has gone by and don't know what I did during that time
-insomnia: my mind just won't stop thinking. It's like I have no control over it. Just random thoughts that go nowhere and that I have no control over.
-there are more but will not write those nowMy 'symptoms' are exacerbated in social situations, especially in the mall, at school (university), or at a restuarant.
I have been on paxil and effexor (at different times). Paxil at 30 mg seems to help, especially with the insomnia. I feel paxil simply stops me from becoming depressed about the symptoms despite them still existing.
I should add, I have problems with my neck. Durig the onset of this depersonalization, if that's what it is, I had constant dull headaches with intense neck tension. The headaches gradually went away but the tension remained. The tension stems from the base of my skull, where the head joins the neck. In the last year, I have developed very small muscle twitches in that area accompanied with a noise likely having to do with the bones in that area.
Well, I could go on and on and on but I won't. Anyone that can relate please let me know.
Bren
Posted by matrad6781 on April 11, 2004, at 16:11:54
In reply to Re: CRAIG and everyone please read, posted by BL on April 11, 2004, at 14:05:45
Your symptoms are precisely that of depersonalization. There is no other mental illness or condition quite like it (although it comes in acute and chronic forms.) Marijuana as an initial trigger is an almost universal bit of history among sufferers of dp.
The website links below should help you understand the disease, its symptoms, ongoing research for a cure and available treatments. Remember, you're not alone:http://web1.iop.kcl.ac.uk/IoP/Departments/PsychMed/CNeuPsy/DPU/about.shtml
Posted by BL on April 11, 2004, at 16:15:22
In reply to Re: CRAIG and everyone please read, posted by matrad6781 on April 11, 2004, at 16:11:54
Or could it be derealization? Thanks for the sites, i've already checked out 3 of them.
Posted by Tiss on April 11, 2004, at 16:58:18
In reply to for matrad, posted by BL on April 11, 2004, at 16:15:22
> Or could it be derealization? Thanks for the sites, i've already checked out 3 of them.
Yes that describes very well alot of my symtoms I had as a teen when it first happened. I experienced this 1st with marijuana and then later when someone slipped me some acid. It was awful. What I found out later was that I was suffering from Post traumatic stress disorder. I got on Nardil (an MAOI antidepressant), and started therapy. I did not realize for a long time that what I had was PTSD. Do not give up hope. I am 47 and rarely feel DP however when I do, it does not freak me out. Part of what keeps us hooked into feeling that way is the anticipatory anxiety and the terror that it will never end. You need to work with the doctors to try different meds until you find something that works for you and maybe start therapy. You really aren't alone, I promise.
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