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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by zarathustra on September 20, 2003, at 21:16:19
Well, I just posted about two hours ago and I was feeling good. Since then, I went for a long walk through the old industrial part of Brampton to get a coffee.
FYI I started dexedrine a week ago (5mg bid) after a psych ward stay and a bit of a breakdown due to gambling and other shit in my life. Doc said I have ADD, G.P has ALWAYS said I have depression.
Anyways, I have to write again. I am so excited, so optimistic; this is fabulous. This is wonderfull. Words cant explain it. An inner calm and peace has come over me. Brampton is very familiar to me however, on my walk it was as though I had never been here before. I could 'feel' the 'aura' of the old factorys along the railroad, combined with the smell of the tar from the ties and abundant sweetgrass it really took me back. Kids playing before bed on the porch, families arguing, families getting along, cats in the street. Please dont think I am euphoric or anything, I am not. I have always been sensitive to things like that but now it is heightened. Also the smells in the air are triggering some type of emotional response; It is very very difficult to explain. I am also craving to be sociable. I dont have many friends so thats not possible tonight however I feel like I could talk for days on end and not be as self-centered as usual. I just want to share this feeling. Perhaps I am feeling what 'normal people' feel and I lived without this for so long that this is a real kick in the ass. I dont know. I dont know.
Regardless of all of this, the dexedrine is working. I think my focus is better and that I just cant see it yet, there are little indicators though like the fact that I am able to sit and type so long without being distracted. There is hope for me yet!WOW!
Posted by wsj on September 20, 2003, at 23:01:21
In reply to Holy Smokes. This is really wierd. I'm scared., posted by zarathustra on September 20, 2003, at 21:16:19
dexedrine - unfortunately, what you are currently feeling will not last > and will never be consistent.
Posted by zarathustra on September 20, 2003, at 23:38:16
In reply to Re: Holy Smokes. This is really wierd. I'm scared., posted by wsj on September 20, 2003, at 23:01:21
dexedrine - unfortunately, what you are
currently feeling will not last > and will
never be consistent.Why not? Am I stoned? I do tend to get alittle overexcitable about things but thats just me. I will elaborate on my last post by saying that I think I feel 'normal'. Its just that I seem to have feeling back in my life.
Andrew.
Posted by fachad on September 21, 2003, at 1:05:36
In reply to Holy Smokes. This is really wierd. I'm scared., posted by zarathustra on September 20, 2003, at 21:16:19
Glad to hear that you have responded to Dexedrine.
I think what you are feeling (the heightened sensibilities) is dopamine talking. That's not to say that it's not real, or that it does not constitute a legitimate medication response. Just that it is dopamine.
>Perhaps I am feeling what 'normal people' feel and I lived without this for so long that this is a real kick in the ass.
Yes, I think that's it exactly. Normal people have a certain level of dopamine, and people who are deficient have a diminished experience of life.
Also, it does seem a zap because you have not lived it for so long. After you have been living it for awhile, it will still be better than your previous dopamine deficient experience, but it will not longer seem like a "kick in the ass".
I guess I am just cautioning you not to confuse the inevitable equilibrium that comes with time with tolerance and a "loss of response".
Posted by fachad on September 21, 2003, at 1:12:02
In reply to Holy Smokes. This is really wierd. I'm scared., posted by zarathustra on September 20, 2003, at 21:16:19
Here's a link to a post from awhile back with as guess as to why that initial feeling changes.
I think how you interpret that feeling and the change that comes with equilibrium is significant in maintaining long term response.
Re: Dexedrine Tolerance? A Theory » Geezer
Posted by loolot on September 21, 2003, at 13:42:39
In reply to Holy Smokes. This is really wierd. I'm scared., posted by zarathustra on September 20, 2003, at 21:16:19
Posted by Kat26 on September 21, 2003, at 14:46:30
In reply to YAY! (nm) » zarathustra, posted by loolot on September 21, 2003, at 13:42:39
When I first started prozac for OCD, I almost felt high because the obsessive thoughts had disappeared.
yeah maybe with stimulants it can be a temporary "high" but who knows, maybe it is just that you finally feel ok for the first time in a long time??
Kat
Posted by Liligoth on September 21, 2003, at 23:47:29
In reply to Holy Smokes. This is really wierd. I'm scared., posted by zarathustra on September 20, 2003, at 21:16:19
Posted by Kacy on September 23, 2003, at 1:27:02
In reply to Holy Smokes. This is really wierd. I'm scared., posted by zarathustra on September 20, 2003, at 21:16:19
It isn't illusion. I don't think that it's temporary. Although the awe you are having can't last, many positives and better feelings that you can get from stimulants can. Wish I were there. Enjoy it. In the next days, think of ways to build on it by using it to start toward your goals, including a goal of enjoying your life.
This is the end of the thread.
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