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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jonh kimble on July 4, 2003, at 1:06:39
my brain is so occupied with thoughts of death and suicide that i actually feel like killing myself sometimes. and this is just one of many horrible feelings. but i feel absolutly tortured, as i know many of us feel.
is this normal in depression? can this ever go away? i have failed all meds so far exept dexedrine and ritalin which stop working very quickly and cause big time crashes. please i need some support.
Posted by shar on July 4, 2003, at 1:28:18
In reply to always thinking about death and cant stand it, posted by jonh kimble on July 4, 2003, at 1:06:39
John,
You probably need more good info than I can give you, but you are not alone in having almost constant suicidal ideation. I don't know that there is a quick solution to ending the thoughts, but I know some people take meds that help.I'm hoping they will respond to your post.
In the meantime, distraction is a good thing. Anything you can do to distract yourself and get your mind on other things is probably good (as long as the other things aren't hurtful). While my focus isn't at its peak, I can work on crossword puzzles or even play some computer games that are rather absorbing. Certainly these are temporary measures, but may help until someone responds with more info on meds. Sorry this is so lame.
If you do feel suicidal, please post, and if you're in crisis, please get in-person help.
Good luck,
Shar
Posted by Henryo on July 4, 2003, at 2:12:12
In reply to Re: always thinking about death and cant stand it, posted by shar on July 4, 2003, at 1:28:18
Ritalin for me has this huge wonderful effect for 60 days. It starts big and then slowly lessens until after three months just a mild AD effect. I have to quit it completely and wait a year to get that effect again. I have given it up in favor of Lamictal. I can say enough about my good experiences with Lamictal. I took Pindolol (a.k.a. Visken) to hold me over while I was waiting through the hell of building up to theraputic dose. Don't give up.
Posted by fallsfall on July 4, 2003, at 9:30:48
In reply to Re: always thinking about death and cant stand it, posted by Henryo on July 4, 2003, at 2:12:12
I believe that Lithium can help with suicidal ideation.
I added two drugs recently, Strattera and Provigil, and I am incredibly impressed with their ability to reduce suicidal thoughts. I don't know which of the two is doing it (or if it is the combination), but the effect has been really amazing.
Depending on what your diagnosis is, these, or other drugs you pdoc may know about, may help.
I have found some success in figuring out what my thoughts are trying to accomplish. In particular, I have done minor self injury and was able to determine (based on my fantasies at the time) that it was designed to communicate to my therapist how much pain I was in. I have been able to feel that way and know that I'm trying to communicate - so I have tried harder to use words, and she has been able to understand my words and the thoughts and actions are reduced.
Other people might do it to cover up the emotional pain with physical pain. It can be a distraction. It can be self punishment. This stuff applies more to self injury than suicide, but I think some of the concepts apply to suicide.
For me, the most helpful thing when I am wishing to be dead is to find some hope that things will change. I can't find this myself - I need my therapist or friends to convince me (and that's hard).
A combination of meds and thinking would be the best idea. If you develop a plan and start to collect the items for that plan PLEASE call your therapist or go to the emergency room.
Good luck
Posted by jay beck on July 4, 2003, at 15:42:37
In reply to Re: always thinking about death and cant stand it, posted by fallsfall on July 4, 2003, at 9:30:48
i have been there with the death thoughts, it is an effect of deppresion. Actually it is one of the symptoms of OCD as well. You defenatly need to tweak your medications, try new combos or whatever you can possibly do. im on Sam-e and 5-htp in addition to lexapro 20mg. you could try those suppliments they defenatly made a change in my overall mood, especally the 5-htp. Im a revovering drug addict and those horrible thoughts were one of my main reasons i used so much drugs. it did work, but it was counter-productive and very temperary (+ all the negative health risks), i wouldnt suggest using to fix anything. just wait it through man youll be ok. Just remember eventally things will get better.
Posted by jonh kimble on July 4, 2003, at 23:28:35
In reply to Re: always thinking about death and cant stand it, posted by jay beck on July 4, 2003, at 15:42:37
thank you all so much. iwas having one of the worst nights ever tonight but you have cheered me up signifigantly. i will try to keep that little bit of hope alive.
This is the end of the thread.
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