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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by eris-24 on August 9, 2002, at 7:17:26
Hello all. I'm new to the board, and I would like to hear your advice on medications.
First, I suppose, an introduction is in order.... I'm 24/F/Florida, with a perfectly average health and life history. But somewhere around age 15, I lost my ability to feel emotions. I tried to tell people about it, but no one took me seriously. My parents thought it was some sort of teenage phase. Here I am, 9 years later, still getting no emotional reaction from anything I do, nor from anything that happens to me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this.
I also have a harder time thinking thoughts... my sense of touch seems blunted... my motivation level is always at zero. Objects look more distant, somehow; not optically, but like they're not as "real" (even though I know they are).
I am like this 24 hours a day.
I've seen doctors about my problem, of course. They've tried the usual SSRIs on me, and it just made everything WORSE. My environment went from looking a little filtered/distant to looking downright etheral (like being stoned*)... I got really paranoid and anxious, had insomnia, and felt even more zombie-like.
*(For the record: I have experimented with pot once, for about a week, during college. Now I don't use illegal drugs, of any sort, at all.)
I don't have enough money to do the doctor thing anymore. So, I'm considering taking matters into my own hands and ordering drugs from overseas...
If SSRIs made my condition worse, then wouldn't it make sense to try drugs that would LOWER my serotonin balance?
I found a list of things that too much serotonin does on a webpage tonight, and it seems to fit most of my symptoms!
So I'm thinking about lowering my serotonin levels experimentally, to see if that helps. So far the only promising one I've found has been Tianeptine, but I recall seeing a list somewhere of half a dozen other serotonin-reducing drugs. Can anyone point me in the right direction, here?
Oh, one last note. I haven't been on any medications now for over a year, except for Piracetam + choline... which I ordered on the vague chance that it might help, although it really doesn't do much more than make me feel slightly more alert. I take it daily anyway.
In any case, if anyone has any suggestions, PLEASE let me know... I've been researching my condition like crazy for years now, and there's really not much information on it, out there. This anti-SSRI idea is giving me some hope. Medication recommendations, advice?
Thanks,
eris
Posted by Dinah on August 9, 2002, at 8:57:34
In reply to flat/blunted emotions, posted by eris-24 on August 9, 2002, at 7:17:26
For what it's worth, it sounds as if there is a dissociation/derealization component to what you describe. You might want to look into your research from that angle.
I know there was someone posting here about chronic derealization, but I can't recall if they have found a medication that is helpful. Did any of your doctors recommend atypical antipsychotics? Im asking this because one of my pdocs a while back suggested this when I was describing derealization to him (I think, it was a while back. Either that or he thought my symptoms were "negative" symptoms of the schizotypal personality disorder he thought I had.)
You only felt paranoid while on SSRI's?
I certainly wouldn't self medicate. There are mental health clinics that will see you on a sliding scale. Please call your local officials to see what options you might have. Psychotropic medications can have some nasty effects, and if you don't have a doctor on board, you won't be able to evaluate objectively what is happening, because psychotropic medications by definition will interfere with that objectivity.
This is a great board, but it is no substitute for a physician.
Take care.
Posted by sarahcat on August 9, 2002, at 16:12:56
In reply to flat/blunted emotions, posted by eris-24 on August 9, 2002, at 7:17:26
For what it's worth, I agree with Dinah on a couple of points. First, you have to work with a doctor on this. Community Mental Health centers still exist, they just aren't prominently advertised.
Second, as I was reading your post I was also thinking that it sounds like you may have some "negative" symptoms of a Schizo disorder, whether that be Schizotypal Personality, or some other disorder in the family. An atypical AP (Risperdal, Zyprexa, Seroquel, etc...) may actually help you if this is the case.
It's just really important to see a Psychiatrist to get this all worked out. It sounds as though you've had bad experiences with doctors in the past, which sucks, but your mental health and well being is too important not to have a professional helping you. And make sure you see a Psychiatrist, not just a GP for this.
Good luck,
Sarah
Posted by eris-24 on August 9, 2002, at 16:55:41
In reply to Re: flat/blunted emotions » eris-24, posted by Dinah on August 9, 2002, at 8:57:34
Thanks for your reply! All reasonable advice.
__
For what it's worth, it sounds as if there is a dissociation/derealization component to what you describe. You might want to look into your research from that angle.
--I have looked into this. I was posting on a DD/DR board for a few months, and everybody said it sounded like I had something else. I came to agree with them -- it's not very intense, it's there all the time, and I never got the panic attacks.
--
Did any of your doctors recommend atypical antipsychotics?
--No... not even typical antipsychotics. Just SSRIs. I am holding myself back, here, from griping about the doctors.
--
You only felt paranoid while on SSRI's?
--Yes. I'm usually incredibly apathetic. Every single one of the four SSRIs I tried made me paranoid.
I remember Zoloft in particular, because it was really nasty: I stopped in a convenience store to pick up a carton of cigarettes, and the clerk told me they didn't have cartons, just packs, and I got really confused over that. I finally just took what he gave me (he was looking unworldly-odd standing behind the counter) so he wouldn't think I was drunk or high or something (paranoia 1). Then I bought some food, and I kept thinking the microwave was gonna explode (2) or the clerk was going to spit in it (3). I'd gone totally crazy. And I know this is NEVER supposed happen on little ol' Zoloft.
They put me on Luvox (an anti-anxiety drug!), and I would lie awake at night worrying about insane things like, "My house is going to be invaded by bugs!" when I would have much rather just gone to sleep.
Obviously SSRIs aren't the answer.
--
There are mental health clinics that will see you on a sliding scale. Please call your local officials to see what options you might have.
--Well, see, I'm kinda screwed there. I called the nearest clinic in the next county at the very beginning, and I live out of their "service area". Currently I'm unemployed and broke, so I can't even work with a sliding scale. I'm going to have to content myself with doing my own research some more.
--
Psychotropic medications can have some nasty effects, and if you don't have a doctor on board, you won't be able to evaluate objectively what is happening, because psychotropic medications by definition will interfere with that objectivity.
--I perfectly understand.
--
This is a great board, but it is no substitute for a physician.
--I suppose my last post was too long and too vague. I know that I can't be diagnosed or treated over the 'net. I just keep hoping that maybe if I talk about it enough, I'll find someone who has the same thing.
What I'm really looking for is a list of drugs to lower serotonin levels. I may not even try any of them; but I DO definitely want to research them.
Thanks,
eris
Posted by eris-24 on August 9, 2002, at 17:03:57
In reply to Re: flat/blunted emotions » eris-24, posted by sarahcat on August 9, 2002, at 16:12:56
Thanks Sarah!
--
some "negative" symptoms of a Schizo disorder, whether that be Schizotypal Personality, or some other disorder in the family. An atypical AP (Risperdal, Zyprexa, Seroquel, etc...) may actually help you if this is the case.
--Nah, they ruled this out. I'm a perfectly normal person: articulate, with friends, going out and doing things, no delusions, no paranoia, etc. I just can't feel emotions.
eris
Posted by Kari on August 10, 2002, at 7:13:02
In reply to flat/blunted emotions, posted by eris-24 on August 9, 2002, at 7:17:26
Hi,
I have been suffering from the same symptoms for years. Unlike you, however, I probably do suffer from something like schizotypal personality disorder and SSRIs don't worsen my condition.
As Dinah suggested, it is not a good idea to self-medicate. I got into trouble, big time, after messing with meds on my own for several years with the assumption that I knew what was needed.
Have you considered the possibility that this may be something physical (hormonal, etc)? I hope you can find a way to get the proper testing done.
Take care,
Kari.
Posted by Rob829 on August 11, 2002, at 10:24:44
In reply to Re: flat/blunted emotions, posted by Kari on August 10, 2002, at 7:13:02
Hi eris-24,
I had the problem of flat, blunted emotions too. The SSRI's made me much worse too. Any antidepressant that was stimulating seemed to help. Wellbutrin seemed to work. Parnate also seemed to work even though it increases serotonin.
Posted by katekite on August 11, 2002, at 11:18:31
In reply to Re: flat/blunted emotions, posted by eris-24 on August 9, 2002, at 17:03:57
One thing that caught my attention was you mentioning while on ssris having trouble going to sleep thinking about all kinds of odd things. Sounds a little like ADD. ssris often worsen ADD. The blunted emotion thing doesn't really fit with that but you never know. Try the quiz at www.mindfixers.com if you are curious about ADD.
Kate
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