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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by adamie on November 26, 2001, at 18:37:05
mind torture as in even painful to be alive. cant think at all, cant concentrate. heart beating very fast. the sides of head burning.
this is on top and part of my extremely severe depression. I have no motivation for anything, no enjoyment from anything, no drive to do anything, little appetite, poor sleep, cant think, cant concentrate, memory extremely horrible, it feels sometimes as if i have no past, always living in the moment.
anyone experience mind torture or is my depression severe beyond reasonable help? ECT only helped minorly or not at all and it erased my memory but maybe much of that was from the depression anyway. almost all AD's have made me worse.
do panic attacks make people feel like every few seconds are painful to be alive?
is what I am dealing with just typical of extremely severe depression? with the mind torture time passes by extremely slow. it's like my mind cant focus on anything because it is occupied by feeling horrific beyond belief. i dunno how to describe it. also everything seems very dark. the worse it is the faster my heart beats and my head burns.
Posted by benzapp on November 27, 2001, at 0:13:16
In reply to Anyone experience mind torture, anxiety related?, posted by adamie on November 26, 2001, at 18:37:05
That sounds much more like malnutrition than anything else. Having experienced starvation first hand before, I felt exactly the same way. Couldn't think, tired yet anxious, couldn't sleep, didn't have an appetite, and my perception of time was greatly skewed as well. There are many signs of malnutrition, and it is one of the most common causes of depression. About 3/4 of people who are depressed are deficient in one of the B vitamins. I received a B-vitamin injection, and it instantly cleared up my head.
Your brain consumes more energy than any other part of your body, and needs about a third of all calories go towards its function. Many vitamin deficiencies cause these problems as well, particularly B vitamin deficiencies. If you consume fewer than 1200 calories per day, or abstain from fresh fruit, vegetables and meat you will be in big trouble. If you are not eating a proper diet you should probably see a nutritionist, or at the very least have a blood test done to see if you show signs of vitamin deficiency. I would be very concerned with the racing heart, if you have a high pulse rate and low blood pressure you have a problem. Take your pulse, if it is more than 95bpm at rest, I would see a doctor ASAP. If you can't check your blood pressure, just feel your pulse... if you have to press really hard to feel it, your blood pressure is weak.
> mind torture as in even painful to be alive. cant think at all, cant concentrate. heart beating very fast. the sides of head burning.
>
> this is on top and part of my extremely severe depression. I have no motivation for anything, no enjoyment from anything, no drive to do anything, little appetite, poor sleep, cant think, cant concentrate, memory extremely horrible, it feels sometimes as if i have no past, always living in the moment.
>
> anyone experience mind torture or is my depression severe beyond reasonable help? ECT only helped minorly or not at all and it erased my memory but maybe much of that was from the depression anyway. almost all AD's have made me worse.
>
> do panic attacks make people feel like every few seconds are painful to be alive?
>
> is what I am dealing with just typical of extremely severe depression? with the mind torture time passes by extremely slow. it's like my mind cant focus on anything because it is occupied by feeling horrific beyond belief. i dunno how to describe it. also everything seems very dark. the worse it is the faster my heart beats and my head burns.
Posted by Krazy Kat on November 27, 2001, at 7:58:22
In reply to Anyone experience mind torture, anxiety related?, posted by adamie on November 26, 2001, at 18:37:05
> Adamie:
Have you tried a mood stabilizer?
- K.
Posted by Noa on November 27, 2001, at 16:39:35
In reply to Anyone experience mind torture, anxiety related?, posted by adamie on November 26, 2001, at 18:37:05
Adamie,
Some people do have such feelings of anxiety and agitation with their depression. It sounds awful.
Re: the ECT and memory loss--my understanding is that this is not a lasting effect, but a short term one. I imagine it would feel bad, though, since you already feel like your memory is bad from the depression.
Do you like the pdoc you are working with? Have you shared these concerns?
Posted by adamie on November 27, 2001, at 20:29:39
In reply to Re: Anyone experience mind torture, anxiety related? » adamie, posted by Krazy Kat on November 27, 2001, at 7:58:22
> > Adamie:
>
> Have you tried a mood stabilizer?
>
> - K.not yet. maybe i should try one?
Posted by jay on November 28, 2001, at 6:04:01
In reply to Re: Anyone experience mind torture, anxiety related?, posted by benzapp on November 27, 2001, at 0:13:16
I am sorry, but in now a couple of posts, you once excused and brushed off this poster's pain (he calls it mind-torture...and that is what the heck it is!).Now you have to go into detail how it is all just malnutrition? Considering there is very, very little scientific basis for much 'malnutrition' in the Western World could cause these problems.
I was just reading a piece on how scientology is getting into herbs/vitamins, just to excuse that mental illness 'doesn't' exist.Now, look, I am trying to be nice here, but you have no right to discount someones pain. Please..
Thank you,
Jay
> That sounds much more like malnutrition than anything else. Having experienced starvation first hand before, I felt exactly the same way. Couldn't think, tired yet anxious, couldn't sleep, didn't have an appetite, and my perception of time was greatly skewed as well. There are many signs of malnutrition, and it is one of the most common causes of depression. About 3/4 of people who are depressed are deficient in one of the B vitamins. I received a B-vitamin injection, and it instantly cleared up my head.
>
> Your brain consumes more energy than any other part of your body, and needs about a third of all calories go towards its function. Many vitamin deficiencies cause these problems as well, particularly B vitamin deficiencies. If you consume fewer than 1200 calories per day, or abstain from fresh fruit, vegetables and meat you will be in big trouble. If you are not eating a proper diet you should probably see a nutritionist, or at the very least have a blood test done to see if you show signs of vitamin deficiency. I would be very concerned with the racing heart, if you have a high pulse rate and low blood pressure you have a problem. Take your pulse, if it is more than 95bpm at rest, I would see a doctor ASAP. If you can't check your blood pressure, just feel your pulse... if you have to press really hard to feel it, your blood pressure is weak.
>
> > mind torture as in even painful to be alive. cant think at all, cant concentrate. heart beating very fast. the sides of head burning.
> >
> > this is on top and part of my extremely severe depression. I have no motivation for anything, no enjoyment from anything, no drive to do anything, little appetite, poor sleep, cant think, cant concentrate, memory extremely horrible, it feels sometimes as if i have no past, always living in the moment.
> >
> > anyone experience mind torture or is my depression severe beyond reasonable help? ECT only helped minorly or not at all and it erased my memory but maybe much of that was from the depression anyway. almost all AD's have made me worse.
> >
> > do panic attacks make people feel like every few seconds are painful to be alive?
> >
> > is what I am dealing with just typical of extremely severe depression? with the mind torture time passes by extremely slow. it's like my mind cant focus on anything because it is occupied by feeling horrific beyond belief. i dunno how to describe it. also everything seems very dark. the worse it is the faster my heart beats and my head burns.
Posted by Denise528 on November 28, 2001, at 12:12:48
In reply to Anyone experience mind torture, anxiety related?, posted by adamie on November 26, 2001, at 18:37:05
> Try Zyprexa it really has been a Godsend for me, I think I understand what you have been going through and I don't believe it's down to Malnutrician.
Denise
Posted by davidh on November 28, 2001, at 16:03:04
In reply to Anyone experience mind torture, anxiety related?, posted by adamie on November 26, 2001, at 18:37:05
Adamie,
If it helps, I know how you feel. I've had coexisting OCD and depression for some time now, as I've tried numberous medications but have had to discontiue them due to side effects. When every day is mined with anxiety, there are certainly days, most days in the last few months, when I'd rather not wake up. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought that eventually, something will change. It can be difficult however, particuarly when depressed, to maintain hope.
Of note, different medications, even within the same class, can have vastly different effects. Some of the SSRI's worsened my symptoms significantly, and some improved them.
I wish, for both of our sakes, we knew more about neural physiology and chemistry. Unfortunatly, we do not, and for the forseeable future, we're the test tubes.
Take care
Posted by adamie on November 28, 2001, at 16:39:29
In reply to Re: Please be supportive » benzapp, posted by jay on November 28, 2001, at 6:04:01
i am sick o scientology. all they are in it for is the money. mental illness exists just like any other frggin illness such as cancer. I cant stand those disgusting excuses for human beings. people die because of them
> I am sorry, but in now a couple of posts, you once excused and brushed off this poster's pain (he calls it mind-torture...and that is what the heck it is!).
>
> Now you have to go into detail how it is all just malnutrition? Considering there is very, very little scientific basis for much 'malnutrition' in the Western World could cause these problems.
> I was just reading a piece on how scientology is getting into herbs/vitamins, just to excuse that mental illness 'doesn't' exist.
>
> Now, look, I am trying to be nice here, but you have no right to discount someones pain. Please..
>
> Thank you,
>
> Jay
>
>
>
> > That sounds much more like malnutrition than anything else. Having experienced starvation first hand before, I felt exactly the same way. Couldn't think, tired yet anxious, couldn't sleep, didn't have an appetite, and my perception of time was greatly skewed as well. There are many signs of malnutrition, and it is one of the most common causes of depression. About 3/4 of people who are depressed are deficient in one of the B vitamins. I received a B-vitamin injection, and it instantly cleared up my head.
> >
> > Your brain consumes more energy than any other part of your body, and needs about a third of all calories go towards its function. Many vitamin deficiencies cause these problems as well, particularly B vitamin deficiencies. If you consume fewer than 1200 calories per day, or abstain from fresh fruit, vegetables and meat you will be in big trouble. If you are not eating a proper diet you should probably see a nutritionist, or at the very least have a blood test done to see if you show signs of vitamin deficiency. I would be very concerned with the racing heart, if you have a high pulse rate and low blood pressure you have a problem. Take your pulse, if it is more than 95bpm at rest, I would see a doctor ASAP. If you can't check your blood pressure, just feel your pulse... if you have to press really hard to feel it, your blood pressure is weak.
> >
> > > mind torture as in even painful to be alive. cant think at all, cant concentrate. heart beating very fast. the sides of head burning.
> > >
> > > this is on top and part of my extremely severe depression. I have no motivation for anything, no enjoyment from anything, no drive to do anything, little appetite, poor sleep, cant think, cant concentrate, memory extremely horrible, it feels sometimes as if i have no past, always living in the moment.
> > >
> > > anyone experience mind torture or is my depression severe beyond reasonable help? ECT only helped minorly or not at all and it erased my memory but maybe much of that was from the depression anyway. almost all AD's have made me worse.
> > >
> > > do panic attacks make people feel like every few seconds are painful to be alive?
> > >
> > > is what I am dealing with just typical of extremely severe depression? with the mind torture time passes by extremely slow. it's like my mind cant focus on anything because it is occupied by feeling horrific beyond belief. i dunno how to describe it. also everything seems very dark. the worse it is the faster my heart beats and my head burns.
Posted by Anna Laura on November 28, 2001, at 23:38:33
In reply to Anyone experience mind torture, anxiety related?, posted by adamie on November 26, 2001, at 18:37:05
> mind torture as in even painful to be alive. cant think at all, cant concentrate. heart beating very fast. the sides of head burning.
>
> this is on top and part of my extremely severe depression. I have no motivation for anything, no enjoyment from anything, no drive to do anything, little appetite, poor sleep, cant think, cant concentrate, memory extremely horrible, it feels sometimes as if i have no past, always living in the moment.
>
> anyone experience mind torture or is my depression severe beyond reasonable help? ECT only helped minorly or not at all and it erased my memory but maybe much of that was from the depression anyway. almost all AD's have made me worse.
>
> do panic attacks make people feel like every few seconds are painful to be alive?
>
> is what I am dealing with just typical of extremely severe depression? with the mind torture time passes by extremely slow. it's like my mind cant focus on anything because it is occupied by feeling horrific beyond belief. i dunno how to describe it. also everything seems very dark. the worse it is the faster my heart beats and my head burns.
Hi Adamie,
I can totally relate: i have been in your shoes years ago; i still wonder how i managed to survive; at times the anxiety was so bad (it was constant) that i thought i was going to have an heart attack; which kind of drugs did you try? One small advice: try to avoid anticholinergic drugs: they might make you even more apathetic and you don't need that.
I know it's very very difficult, but try to divert yourself as much as possible: avoid staying home, try to do things, go out, see people even if you feel horrible: it might help. Can you eat? Food can be important, i used to eat some honey to keep me energies up.
If you want to write me, i'm here any moment.
Take careAnna Laura
Posted by adamie on November 29, 2001, at 11:01:06
In reply to Re: Anyone experience mind torture, anxiety relate, posted by Anna Laura on November 28, 2001, at 23:38:33
> > mind torture as in even painful to be alive. cant think at all, cant concentrate. heart beating very fast. the sides of head burning.
> >
> > this is on top and part of my extremely severe depression. I have no motivation for anything, no enjoyment from anything, no drive to do anything, little appetite, poor sleep, cant think, cant concentrate, memory extremely horrible, it feels sometimes as if i have no past, always living in the moment.
> >
> > anyone experience mind torture or is my depression severe beyond reasonable help? ECT only helped minorly or not at all and it erased my memory but maybe much of that was from the depression anyway. almost all AD's have made me worse.
> >
> > do panic attacks make people feel like every few seconds are painful to be alive?
> >
> > is what I am dealing with just typical of extremely severe depression? with the mind torture time passes by extremely slow. it's like my mind cant focus on anything because it is occupied by feeling horrific beyond belief. i dunno how to describe it. also everything seems very dark. the worse it is the faster my heart beats and my head burns.
>
>
> Hi Adamie,I tried paxil, prozac, wellbutrin, effexor, celexa, zyprexa, anafranil,
> I can totally relate: i have been in your shoes years ago; i still wonder how i managed to survive; at times the anxiety was so bad (it was constant) that i thought i was going to have an heart attack; which kind of drugs did you try? One small advice: try to avoid anticholinergic drugs: they might make you even more apathetic and you don't need that.what is anticholinergic? and what is apathetic.
> I know it's very very difficult, but try to divert yourself as much as possible: avoid staying home, try to do things, go out, see people even if you feel horrible: it might help.
hard for me to be motivated to do anything. and i fear change. always scared i will feel worse.
Can you eat? Food can be important, i used to eat some honey to keep me energies up.
> If you want to write me, i'm here any moment.
> Take care
>
> Anna Laurai eat a little. hard to eat. i am tired of feeling so suicidal. my ex-fiance has hurt me more than anyone possibly could, this to top off an extremely severe depression. i have no reason to live. every day is mind torture :***.
Posted by adamie on November 29, 2001, at 11:09:31
In reply to Re: Anyone experience mind torture, anxiety relate, posted by Anna Laura on November 28, 2001, at 23:38:33
please e-mail me at adamie@herwire.com
i have been extremely suicidal
Posted by Anna Laura on November 29, 2001, at 13:57:43
In reply to Re: Anyone experience mind torture, anxiety relate » Anna Laura, posted by adamie on November 29, 2001, at 11:01:06
> > > mind torture as in even painful to be alive. cant think at all, cant concentrate. heart beating very fast. the sides of head burning.
> > >
> > > this is on top and part of my extremely severe depression. I have no motivation for anything, no enjoyment from anything, no drive to do anything, little appetite, poor sleep, cant think, cant concentrate, memory extremely horrible, it feels sometimes as if i have no past, always living in the moment.
> > >
> > > anyone experience mind torture or is my depression severe beyond reasonable help? ECT only helped minorly or not at all and it erased my memory but maybe much of that was from the depression anyway. almost all AD's have made me worse.
> > >
> > > do panic attacks make people feel like every few seconds are painful to be alive?
> > >
> > > is what I am dealing with just typical of extremely severe depression? with the mind torture time passes by extremely slow. it's like my mind cant focus on anything because it is occupied by feeling horrific beyond belief. i dunno how to describe it. also everything seems very dark. the worse it is the faster my heart beats and my head burns.
> >
> >
> > Hi Adamie,
>
> I tried paxil, prozac, wellbutrin, effexor, celexa, zyprexa, anafranil,
>
>
> > I can totally relate: i have been in your shoes years ago; i still wonder how i managed to survive; at times the anxiety was so bad (it was constant) that i thought i was going to have an heart attack; which kind of drugs did you try? One small advice: try to avoid anticholinergic drugs: they might make you even more apathetic and you don't need that.
>
> what is anticholinergic? and what is apathetic.
>
> > I know it's very very difficult, but try to divert yourself as much as possible: avoid staying home, try to do things, go out, see people even if you feel horrible: it might help.
>
> hard for me to be motivated to do anything. and i fear change. always scared i will feel worse.
>
> Can you eat? Food can be important, i used to eat some honey to keep me energies up.
> > If you want to write me, i'm here any moment.
> > Take care
> >
> > Anna Laura
>
> i eat a little. hard to eat. i am tired of feeling so suicidal. my ex-fiance has hurt me more than anyone possibly could, this to top off an extremely severe depression. i have no reason to live. every day is mind torture :***.
Hi Adamie,
First thing : see a pdoc in order to get a drug treatment suitable for you. There are many drugs out there that you can try. Don't be ashamed to do so, you can't make by yourself, none can, cause nobody can handle such a pain. If you have a broken leg to get pain-killers, right? Do you know that severe depression with major anxiety is believed to be the mental equivalent of cancer ?
Second: mind torture can definetely go away, you just have to resist until it's gone, and it will, but first you have to reach out for help; i know that to ask for help it's the most difficult thing ever when you feel bad; i used to be ashamed of my condition, i felt guilty cause i thought i could do something about it so that i felt responsable for my sufferings; moreover i was scared, i was kind of stuck in a no-escape situation: i thought that if i moved forward and searched for help i'd have felt worse. This distorted thinking is partly due to depression which induces mind clouding, hiding you the alternatives and options you can try, always showing you the worst part of life; it's like a mental "tunnel-vision".
on the other hand, this thought it's partly realistic cause moving forward and take action really makes you feel worse at first especially if you suffer from anxiety: anything unfamiliar such new events and situations often triggle anxiety; i know that very well: i coudn't even talk to people cause if i started doing so i felt so anxious i would shake.
But i kept on going. If i had staied home, i couldn't have reached out for help. I felt horrible but i kept on going out and see people until i met a wonderful pdoc who helped me to get out of that hell.
If you are so anxious you can't even get out of the house, get some benzos for temporary relief; i know that benzos are not a cure but they can help you to get less anxious in order to get some help and focus on your priorities.
It's important that you keep your energy levels up. You need to get some food. Any food is o.k. : it's surely better than nothing at all.
Don't force yourself to eat: eat small portions of food you particularly like. Drink plenty of fluids. Reasearch studies showed that drinking plenty of water makes your system more apt to face anxiety.
If you have some questions, i'll reply as soon as possible.Hang in there Adamie: this permanent night can be swept away and a new day will raise.
Posted by Noa on November 29, 2001, at 17:15:31
In reply to Re: Anyone experience mind torture, anxiety relate » Anna Laura, posted by adamie on November 29, 2001, at 11:09:31
Adamie, Maybe you need to be in the hospital? Are you in treatment?
Posted by pat c. on November 29, 2001, at 22:46:46
In reply to Anyone experience mind torture, anxiety related?, posted by adamie on November 26, 2001, at 18:37:05
I experienced the same thing recently.
Brain on fire. Anxiety attack times 1000, right?
Pure confusion. Things speeding by your mind.You need to increase GABA w/
klonopin and perhaps neurontin.Defintely, klonopin to put out the fire. The world will stop spinning. You'll feel calm. Like everything has finally stopped, and you can breathe.
Then you have to deal with the depression (and social phobia) if you're like me w/atypical depression and now "major" depression.
I don't know what to tell you there.
Neurontin partially helps in depression, anxiety and social phobia. Watch out for "major" depression, which is the final stage of this disease. I'm taking Wellbutrin for this, but it gives me too much anxiety. I might try Celexa, although I've had no success with SSRIs. But now with "major" depression, a SSRI could be in order.
Nardil is probably the most effective with the atypical depression, but I don't want to deal with it any more.
Sorry, I ran on here, but your head on fire is exactly how I felt two weeks ago when I tried to get off Klonopin (while on small amount of Neurontin). Something went haywire. Unprecedented.
Good luck.
Pat
This is the end of the thread.
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