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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ruth on February 15, 2000, at 8:56:59
I'm getting really confused about sex and meds lately.
I know that the drugs I take for depression interfere
with sex, but I also know that in the past,this has lessened
with time, and with the right partner. I'm engaged
to the most wonderful man in the world, but I haven't
really been able to fully relax with him sexually.
I know most of that is the meds I'm on, but it's
also anxiety that I won't be able to "perform", to
get turned on very easily, etc. I don't know what
to do to get rid of the anxiety. It scares me to
even feel it b/c I worry that maybe we're not
sexually compatible or something and that scares the
shit out of me b/c that will mean we shouldn't get
married. I'm having fears about getting married too.
I've talked to him some about this, but I'm not sure
if it's really helped. I still don't know how to
relax, and I don't know how to tell him how to help me!Can anyone relate? I feel like I've always been a
really sexual person and that sex is important to
me, and all these issues are really scaring me and
making me sad.Please help...ruth
Posted by Sef on February 15, 2000, at 18:14:44
In reply to sexual anxiety, posted by ruth on February 15, 2000, at 8:56:59
One thing I do know is that if you have any reservations about marrying someone, you should WAIT until you know for sure! (Trust me)
Posted by Cam W. on February 15, 2000, at 22:52:15
In reply to Re: sexual anxiety, posted by Sef on February 15, 2000, at 18:14:44
> One thing I do know is that if you have any reservations about marrying someone, you should WAIT until you know for sure! (Trust me)
Ruth - Many times sexual dysfunction does not go away while using SSRIs. Rather than an anorgasmia, for me it was a deadening of feeling. Women I have talked to about it said similar things. It took longer to reach orgasm and required more stimulation, but the quality of the orgasm was more intense (for me and for the women I have talked to). Maybe you are stopping too soon. Hope this helps. Good luck - Cam W.
Posted by Cindy W on February 16, 2000, at 2:46:18
In reply to sexual anxiety, posted by ruth on February 15, 2000, at 8:56:59
> I'm getting really confused about sex and meds lately.
> I know that the drugs I take for depression interfere
> with sex, but I also know that in the past,this has lessened
> with time, and with the right partner. I'm engaged
> to the most wonderful man in the world, but I haven't
> really been able to fully relax with him sexually.
> I know most of that is the meds I'm on, but it's
> also anxiety that I won't be able to "perform", to
> get turned on very easily, etc. I don't know what
> to do to get rid of the anxiety. It scares me to
> even feel it b/c I worry that maybe we're not
> sexually compatible or something and that scares the
> shit out of me b/c that will mean we shouldn't get
> married. I'm having fears about getting married too.
> I've talked to him some about this, but I'm not sure
> if it's really helped. I still don't know how to
> relax, and I don't know how to tell him how to help me!
>
> Can anyone relate? I feel like I've always been a
> really sexual person and that sex is important to
> me, and all these issues are really scaring me and
> making me sad.
>
> Please help...ruth
Ruth, I can relate to the sexual anxiety you describe, as well as the deadening of sexual feeling that SSRI's can cause (decreased desire and arousal, and anorgasmia). In my experience, Cam is right that people usually don't habituate to particular SSRI's in regard to sexual side effects. If you have sexual anxiety, the very best thing you can do is talk about it honestly with your partner and to work together to become more relaxed. Worrying alone about whether you are taking too long to become aroused only keeps the vicious cycle going. If your partner really cares, he will likely be willing to work with you on this and will not "judge" you, which should help lessen some of the performance anxiety. A good way to tell if he is the right person, in my humble opinion, is whether he cares enough to make sure you are really relaxed and that you are having a good time and not feeling anxious. Also, make sure to discuss the sexual anxiety and sexual side effects with your pdoc...there are meds that interfere less with sexual functioning than others (Serzone and Effexor seem to not interfere, for me, while Prozac, Luvox, and Zoloft left me with no libido and/or ability to reach orgasm). I have a lot of sexual anxiety at times from flashbacks of being raped (20 years ago), and realize how difficult it is to overcome the sexual anxiety you describe. Hope this helps.--Cindy W
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