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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Noa on January 2, 2000, at 15:16:51
I am back home. I had a wonderful 9 days visiting family and friends. It was low key, relaxed. And I noticed that I am feeling better. I started the current lithium dose (1200/day) about 12 days ago. Of course, it remains to be seen whether my improved mood is vacation-related. Afterall, I was obligation-free for the most part, and was treated well by my hosts--home cooked meals, etc. But I think the lithium is working. I will reserve judgment for a few days, see how I cope with the post-vacation blues. Coming home is hard, because, as some of you know, my apartment is hardly homelike at the moment, being in its thoroughly trashed state. I know I am feeling better because I feel a strong desire to have a better quality of life, including a cleaner home. Making this happen is the trick. It is like the restoration after a disaster.
Posted by S. Suggs on January 2, 2000, at 16:01:57
In reply to Lithium Update, posted by Noa on January 2, 2000, at 15:16:51
Noa, glad to hear the lithium is going well. It seems to be one of the meds which is least likely to poop out. Blessings,
S. Suggs
Posted by Janice on January 2, 2000, at 16:03:31
In reply to Lithium Update, posted by Noa on January 2, 2000, at 15:16:51
I am happy and hoping this is the relief you have been working towards.
Try breaking down that goal of a clean apartment into small manageable parts.
Happy New Year, Janice.
Posted by Noa on January 2, 2000, at 18:13:24
In reply to great Noa!, posted by Janice on January 2, 2000, at 16:03:31
Thanks, Suggs and Janice!
Janice,
Your post reminds me of the 12 minute cleaning plan, which I think is yours. I think I'll go buy a timer.
Posted by Abby on January 2, 2000, at 19:15:22
In reply to Re: great Noa!, posted by Noa on January 2, 2000, at 18:13:24
>I know the feeling---you can't bear to clean when you don't feel well, and then you have so much to do.
Do you have friends who might help you organize a bit, tidying up with you. After that I suggest treating yourself to a visit by a cleaning service.
The clean home can motivate you to keep it that way
and make you feel better.Abby
Posted by Noa on January 2, 2000, at 19:34:08
In reply to Re: Noa's quest for a clean home, posted by Abby on January 2, 2000, at 19:15:22
Believe me, I do plan to have a cleaning service in here, but here is still a LOT of work to do before a cleaning service can come in. Once, my friend did help me clean up, but that was an "emergency" because the landlord was supposed to come visit. How I let this place get dirty again, and worse than before, I don't understand. There is unopened mail from about a year, papers and trash, etc. and clothes, all mixed up in a crazy chaotic mess. It is truly gross. But the fact that I even want to try to address it is a big improvement.
Posted by CarolAnn on January 4, 2000, at 10:01:04
In reply to Re: Noa's quest for a clean home, posted by Noa on January 2, 2000, at 19:34:08
Noa, I don't suppose that you live in the Orlando area? If so, I would be glad to come over and help you out. I know exactly what it is like to be in your shoes, and since I've been on Adderall, I do have a little energy which I would gladly spend on you. I was lucky enough to get my house straightened out(with a lot of help!) just before Christmas and can attest that it is true(as someone above said) you will feel even better when that part of your life is under control.CarolAnn
Posted by Noa on January 4, 2000, at 11:05:56
In reply to Re: Noa's quest for a clean home, posted by CarolAnn on January 4, 2000, at 10:01:04
Carol Ann, nope, not near ORlando, otherwise I just might have taken you up on that, except for how ashamed I feel if anyone sees the place.
Last year, when the landlord was supposed to come by to renew the lease in person, a friend, a dear friend, helped me clean up, and then I had a paid cleaner scour the place. It did feel good, but ironically, I noticed that the place seemed like a lot of empty space to me. Wierd, huh? Like someone who posted below (bertha? juniper? someone else?) said, keeping it a mess is like a "moat" to keep people away. For me, it is like a secluded animal's lair, keeping people away. But I want it to be different, and I can fill up the space in a more esthetically pleasing way than with mess. Eventually....
Posted by juniper on January 6, 2000, at 3:18:36
In reply to Re: Noa's quest for a clean home, posted by CarolAnn on January 4, 2000, at 10:01:04
i'll second carolanne's offer---if you live in the d.c. area. i am very good at cleaning as long as it is not my house.
surroundings really can have an affect on mood...hope that things are slowly finding their way back where they belong. peace to you.
Posted by dove on January 6, 2000, at 8:43:24
In reply to Re: Noa's quest for a clean home, posted by juniper on January 6, 2000, at 3:18:36
Good morning Noa!
I relate completely to the mess/lair thing, and before I was married w/ children, I kept my apartment in such a state, oi-vay. My best friend of 15 years grew up in a home just like my own, and was more than willing to help me clean and was/is completely nonjudgemental. She is also a clean-freak and was totally unfazed by a mess that completely overwhelmed me.
I also find my house kinda empty and almost lonesome when it's all neat and clean. I feel better about people stopping by, or all the kids in the neighborhood stamping through the house, but in some ways it's actually harder. I feel this internal spring winding tighter and tighter, partly due to the fact that I cannot keep the house perfect with all the people going in and out. In addition, I know that tomorrow is another day, and I'll have to clean all this stuff up allover again. And when the house is in order, it doesn't feel usable by me. I don't want to start a project, paint, or draw, it seems off limits almost. It's like the house is for everyone else and I'll just make it a chaotic mess.
I don't want to discourage you :-) really. I was jsut talking out some of my own demons relating to the messy/chaotic/lair that in many ways protects me while playing wicked games with my mind. One thing, one day at a time, and one ten-minute clean-up at a time. My best friend always told me to view the big mess as a conglomerate, the little messes form the one big one. So, if you only take care of one little one, that one is still done, whether the effects are immediately identifiable when looking ta the "big picture". So, start small, and don't listen to the voice that says you didn't do enough, failure does not apply to cleaning :-) There will always be one more thing to clean, so we, messy housekeepers, just have to try for doing something rather than nothing. Happy energetic vibes being sent to all housecleaners :-)
dove
Posted by Malia on January 6, 2000, at 20:52:52
In reply to Re: Noa's quest for a clean home, posted by dove on January 6, 2000, at 8:43:24
Gee Noa, I can also completely relate. I'm still on the Wellbutrin and Serzone, but my room is still a mess. I'm a pack-rat, paper hoarder as well. I asked my doc if I should take some AD that will help with compulsive behavior (shopping). Would that help this problem too? He's waiting to see my progress first. Do you think that being unorganized and messy is related to a chemical imbalance, depression and/or anxiety? It must be for me! I can't even balance my checkbook or pay my bills on time. I get overwhelmed and distracted. Maybe I'm also experiencing "poop-out." Anyone have any advice or can you relate to my experience here? I'm 32, and feel so kid-like sometimes. Thanks...Malia.
Posted by Noa on January 6, 2000, at 21:52:19
In reply to Re: Noa's quest for a clean home, posted by Malia on January 6, 2000, at 20:52:52
Hey, Malia, good to "see" you after so long. I also lapse a lot on paying bills, etc. I used to be very organized, balancing my checkbook, paying my bills. But in the past few years I have not been able to keep up with anything. I don't open my mail. Fortunately, some key payments come directly out of my account (insurance, car payment, payment to consumer credit organization that is helping me repay my debts). But I am late with rent, etc. a lot, including right now.
Posted by Noa on January 6, 2000, at 22:18:18
In reply to Re: Noa's quest for a clean home, posted by Noa on January 6, 2000, at 21:52:19
Thanks for the support, all, and the offers of help. Juniper, guess what! I do live in DC. BUT, I don't think I could even let you see my place, and wouldn't be comfortable letting you help me clean it. But the offer is tremendously appreciated, and makes me feel really good.
Posted by torchgrl on January 7, 2000, at 0:30:50
In reply to Re: Noa's quest for a clean home, posted by Noa on January 6, 2000, at 22:18:18
Good luck to you, Noa! I can completely relate--the other day I realised there wasn't an area in my apt that was remotely tidy, and it was like running a steeplechase to get through the place. My luggage from my xmas trip home is still in the middle of the living room :( I did finally deal with the various stacks of papers and newspapers distributed around the living room, which makes some difference in ease of travelling through, at least! In the past, I've been better at approaching the issue room by room or area by area, but these days it's a miracle if I do the dishes... I'm constantly afraid my landlord is going to turn up to actually fix the wall in the bathroom, and walk into this mess. It helps to know I'm not the only one dealing with this issue...
Posted by Noa on January 7, 2000, at 5:33:53
In reply to Re: Noa's quest for a clean home, posted by torchgrl on January 7, 2000, at 0:30:50
Torchgirl, LOL. My apt. is also an obstacle course, and yes! my luggage from my trip is sitting smack dab in the middle of the front vestibule, which was the only unoccupied space. It would be hard to actually unpack, because it is so chaotic, I don't know where I would put the contents of my suitcases. And, I have a dripping bathroom faucet, which is annoying the hell out of me (and wasting a lot of water) but I can't call to have it repaired for fear of my place being seen in its current state, which would probably lead to my being evicted. Absurd doesn't even begin to describe this place.
Posted by juniper on January 7, 2000, at 23:56:29
In reply to Re: Noa's quest for a clean home, posted by Noa on January 7, 2000, at 5:33:53
D.C. can be enough to drive anyone a little crazy--you get all the more empathy from me, noa. best of luck!
Posted by JohnB on January 8, 2000, at 14:14:49
In reply to Re: Noa's quest for a clean home, posted by juniper on January 7, 2000, at 23:56:29
I have friends with a small house, and there is so much stuff that it's difficult to walk through the living room. We joke that they need to "keep a trail open" through the area. The interesting thing is they're not greatly ashamed or depressed about it, nor are they social recluses (lots of friends and family trooping through). And even though I couldn't handle that level of mess, I don't judge them, and actually find the place more visually interesting than those houses that are so sqeaky clean but have all the personality of a motel room. (Noa mentioned this).
Small Rant:) I think part of the problem these days is that we all OWN so much STUFF. There are so many do-dads, thingamajigs, gizmo's etc., that the ads tell us we MUST HAVE. I think that houses should come with a barn in the back yard to store all this stuff. My garage and closets are packed - no more room.
To wind it up: Lately, I'm less anal about a certain level of mess. I don't beat myself up about it. I have a lot of interests, and therefore there's usually what I call a "creative mess".
Any other messes I try to clean up periodically (baby steps, lots of coffee).
Posted by Malia on January 11, 2000, at 13:33:29
In reply to Re: Noa's quest for a clean home, posted by Noa on January 6, 2000, at 21:52:19
Noa and old regulars:
Yes, I've been absent for awhile. My workload has been so full that I have little time to "play" on the net at all! I work for attorneys in the accounting dept. get it?...
Anyway, thanks for your feedback. At least I'm not alone in my plight. I hope we can all get to a "good" place with cleanliness and organization someday. On a side note, last night I decided to open all my banks overdraft notices. Boy, did that hurt (ouch!). Luckily, my mother (sigh!) is helping to bail me out of this one!
~Malia~
This is the end of the thread.
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