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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jennyann on June 9, 1999, at 23:04:43
hi again all...i just keep comin back...thanks, Dr. Bob, for providing this forum.
today I went to the dr..first visit since going off the paxil...I cried during the visit, and we talked about the possibility of continuing an SSRI therapy...she prescribed celexa and trazadone for sleep disturbance (which Ive had in one way or another, for over a year)
I have not yet decided to begin the celexa, but reading the posts is helpful...my issus is this, I guess, im right back to wondering why, given my education and professional work in the MH field, i need these drugs to feel ok. I want to badly to be normal, to have normalcy as I perceive others do..I want to ride my own psyche and master this damn pain.
anyway, somehow, if I begin celexa, I feel like a failure...:( feedback anyone?
luv,
MoodyAnn
p.s. the dizzyness is subsiding- now I am crying one minute and laughing uncontrollably the next..i look crazy...LOL
Posted by Phil on June 10, 1999, at 7:03:32
In reply to Really, Im not losing it..., posted by jennyann on June 9, 1999, at 23:04:43
> hi again all...i just keep comin back...thanks, Dr. Bob, for providing this forum.
> today I went to the dr..first visit since going off the paxil...I cried during the visit, and we talked about the possibility of continuing an SSRI therapy...she prescribed celexa and trazadone for sleep disturbance (which Ive had in one way or another, for over a year)
> I have not yet decided to begin the celexa, but reading the posts is helpful...my issus is this, I guess, im right back to wondering why, given my education and professional work in the MH field, i need these drugs to feel ok. I want to badly to be normal, to have normalcy as I perceive others do..I want to ride my own psyche and master this damn pain.
> anyway, somehow, if I begin celexa, I feel like a failure...:( feedback anyone?
> luv,
> MoodyAnn
> p.s. the dizzyness is subsiding- now I am crying one minute and laughing uncontrollably the next..i look crazy...LOL>>jennyann, Unfortunately, being educated or a professional in mental health is not a safeguard
against mental illness.Knowing WHY will not help either.
The runner and author, Jim Fixx, ignored family history and a doctors suggestion to have a stress test(the treadmill thing). He was in great shape, ran a zillion miles a year; he was an expert. He died running-very young. Preachers
lose faith. Therapist get depressed. Denial
can hurt people.
Take it a step at a time. Trying to FIGURE OUT
why we get depressed while we are depressed can be very depressing...;-)
P.S. While perceiving others to be NORMAL, you may be comparing your "insides" with their "outsides". Everybody has a game face and people in social situations would like others to believe they have got it together. NOBODY HAS IT ALL TOGETHER!!Phil
Posted by Ruth on June 10, 1999, at 7:20:40
In reply to Re: Really, It's Okay, posted by Phil on June 10, 1999, at 7:03:32
>
> >JennyAnn,No answers, just that I can relate. This past year
has been really strange for me. For a few years
I've been basically happy and grateful taking my
antidepressants, and then this year I've just become
fed up with it. I guess it's because a lot of us
were led to believe, originally, that the purpose
of meds was to take them for awhile, let your brain
learn better habits while you recover with help from
the meds, and then you'd eventually be able to go
off the meds and know how to deal with your depression
better cognitively. Well guess what? For many of
us, it dosen't work that way...the depression
comes back, regardless of what you've learned
through therapy while on medication and so on...
and for me that's been a bitter pill to swallow.
I think just this year I've really started to
realize that I might have to take these meds
for the rest of my life, and I've had a very
hard time accepting it (particularly b/c of the
side effects of the drugs and the sacrifices they
require, sex life...apathy...emotional highs
disappear along with the emotional lows...a certain
intensity just isn't there anymore). And it
makes me angry. And I've spent the last 9 months
in a very fruitless state of mind of "why me?".
Now I'm getting a little tired of this state of
mind, and I'm trying to come to terms, trying to
accept the truth, that I'm depressed, that I want
to be happy and productive, and that it looks like
I might have to take meds to get there...
I'm sure other people with chronic diseases have
the same struggles, and I am just starting to
think of myself in the same boat as someone with
diabetes, or chronic pain....and I'm feeling more
willing to be gentle with myself and not blame
myself, or call myself weak or think that I should
be able to handle it on my own....
I wish you luck, and I understand how you feel, and
I hope you come to your own peace on this issue.
Ruth
Posted by Gigi on June 10, 1999, at 16:30:32
In reply to Re: Really, It's Okay, posted by Ruth on June 10, 1999, at 7:20:40
Jennyanne: I totally agree with what Ruth what had to say and would like to expand on it a little.
The VERY WORST thing you can do for yourself is compare yourself to others and try to define "normal".
What is normal to you may not be normal to someone else, I feel normal is a personal choice; unfortunately
society leads us to believe to be normal we must look, act and be a certain way - hence eating disorders, etc.
I had a problem (BIG PROBLEM) thinking that I (who had no reason to be depressed according to those around me)
would have to need anti-depressents; I fought and fought society until I realized I had only two choices live with medication or die. And how I look at
depression is it IS a disease; a chemical imbalance - it is not my fault or anyone elses and I have to take medication
but maybe for forever or maybe just for awhile - I'm not sure. Depression truly is like any other disease (cancer, MS,
whatever) except when you suffer from an "acceptable" illness, people have empathy; when you suffer from depression, most
people do not understand. But please know, you are normal for you and if "normal you" needs medication; that's okay! it
makes you NO less of a person and as a matter of fact, it makes you an even more admired person in my mind because you are facing your
problems and not running away from. God bless you and please hang in there, there will be light at the end of the tunnel!
Posted by Sand on June 18, 1999, at 11:11:59
In reply to Really, Im not losing it..., posted by jennyann on June 9, 1999, at 23:04:43
>
Hi JennyAnn,
I thought I'd write to you as I was concerned about the above note. Does your doctor know that sometimes you laugh uncontrollably? If not, then, it's definitely worth mentioning.
My 17 year old son was first diagnosed with severe depression and given Paxil, then Prozac to treat the depression. He reacted to the meds in the way you describe. Then he was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder. If there is a genetic possibility of bipolar, often,
SSRI will trigger mania (could feel giddy or extreme irritability) or mixed states, and even psychosis (my son became very paranoid).Bipolars need a mood stabilizer (lithium, depakote, etc.) before taking any SSRI. Bipolar disorder is a neurobiological disorder. BTW, my
son is doing wonderfully on a mix of 5 meds and Omega-3 (must be fish oil, not flax seed oil).Sand
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