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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Partlycloudy on March 13, 2014, at 12:17:50
No sugar coating, my eye is wary where my marriage and spouse is concerned. I am also quite convinced of our deep love for each other. Our living arrangements suit me to the ground. My own room mainly consists of meditation and sacred space, the full bathroom with all my girly stuff in it, and some clothing.
It's not yet up to snuff as far as decor (to me) and are still many things tossed in there that require tossing out. But it has improved our relationship. Somehow, the pressure is off to be together and do stuff together ALL the time. Working from home and not having any current projects, my spouse turns to me to spend that time with, but now he knows it isn't healthy on a constant basis.
Therapy continues. Mine is envious of me having a Room of My Own at this point.
Sorry if this is boring. The ups and downs really are ups and downs, for us.
Posted by Twinleaf on March 13, 2014, at 12:41:39
In reply to Maybe is a good thing for now., posted by Partlycloudy on March 13, 2014, at 12:17:50
This sounds promising! If you can have an extended period of time when he is not traumatizing you (intentionally or not), trust and the love you have for him will be present more often, and will give you the best chance to recover emotionally.
It is a good sign that he cared enough about the marriage to return to therapy. I hope he has a really good therapist!
Posted by Partlycloudy on March 13, 2014, at 14:35:52
In reply to Re: Maybe is a good thing for now. » Partlycloudy, posted by Twinleaf on March 13, 2014, at 12:41:39
She is really good. She and my T are on the same page.
Posted by Twinleaf on March 13, 2014, at 14:55:43
In reply to Re: Maybe is a good thing for now. » Twinleaf, posted by Partlycloudy on March 13, 2014, at 14:35:52
That's wonderful - it gives you both the best possible chance to make things better. I guess we all have to accept that no human relationship is "perfect", but "better" can make a big difference. If I were in your position, I would be encouraged that he at least wants to make a better relationship; if he slides back, it will be because of his own past traumas, not because of anything you are doing wrong. If you can say that you are gradually having more stress-free times with him, then your decision to keep trying will have been the right one.
Posted by Phillipa on March 14, 2014, at 9:58:57
In reply to Maybe is a good thing for now., posted by Partlycloudy on March 13, 2014, at 12:17:50
I'm glad it's working well for you. I guess I'm the clingy one here. As want to be with spouse most of the time. But at night want my own side of the bed. Are you doing some things together? Phillipa
Posted by Partlycloudy on March 14, 2014, at 14:26:24
In reply to Re: Maybe is a good thing for now. » Partlycloudy, posted by Phillipa on March 14, 2014, at 9:58:57
Yes, we are. Went to the movies this week, saw some spring training baseball, and we are going out for dinner. He is happy with his therapist and I am more relaxed having extra time by myself.
We'll see how things progress.
Posted by Phillipa on March 14, 2014, at 20:31:24
In reply to Re: Maybe is a good thing for now. » Phillipa, posted by Partlycloudy on March 14, 2014, at 14:26:24
That is really good, I hand it to you you stood your ground and seems to be working!!! Phillipa
Posted by Poet on March 15, 2014, at 11:57:47
In reply to Maybe is a good thing for now., posted by Partlycloudy on March 13, 2014, at 12:17:50
Hi PC,
We all have our ups and downs, yours are no more boring than mine. A Room of Your Own is a wonderful escape. I have one as does my husband, we sleep in the same bedroom, but each have our own separate private spaces. His is a zen zone, mine is Hawaiian. Decorate your space to what you need it to be yours and yours alone. Plus make room for the cat, my cats are free to go in either of our rooms.
Poet
Posted by Partlycloudy on March 15, 2014, at 13:20:40
In reply to Re: Maybe is a good thing for now. » Partlycloudy, posted by Poet on March 15, 2014, at 11:57:47
My cat just laid claim to my meditation pillow. Hah! As if she needs one. I am reading "Mating In Captivity" by Esther Perel. It is hitting home this time around. I could not bear to read it before.
PC
This is the end of the thread.
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