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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by no rose garden on February 23, 2014, at 18:32:08
My boss has been telling other people that I'm not working hard enough. He thinks I"m coming in too late and not staying late enough....even though I work as long or longer than others at times.
I'm seeing a pdoc for the first time this week so I guess I'm just gonna have her put me on as much as she can and maybe i'll be able to wake up and work had and be fake happy.
I always thought I was a "highly functioning" depressed person and maybe I still am but this is the first time it scares me that I might lose my job.
Posted by alexandra_k on February 23, 2014, at 19:51:16
In reply to in trouble at work, posted by no rose garden on February 23, 2014, at 18:32:08
How do you know this?
Is the problem that your boss is saying this to other people, or that other people are saying that your boss is saying this about you?
What kind of relationship do these other people have with your boss? I mean... Do they like him? Do they try and please him / try and be his favorite or something? Are they trying to get you onside in conspiring against him? Just trying to get a sense of the dynamic here.
If the issue is that your boss is in fact talking about you to others (why would he do this?) then I would see about being direct with him. Asking or emailing (since I couldn't pull off an in person interaction with the right tone) to say that you heard x as if it is true then you would appreciate his informing you directly.
It is important to do ones job so that people are happy with it... But it is also important not to get sucked into the living hell that bullying others can make ones life... If that makes sense... Just in case that is what is going on here... (E.g., other people trying to make you feel bad so they feel better about themself).
Of course if you are all conspirational with these people who are telling you such things... Acting shocked and like you care and like you really need them to be your bestie right now because you are vulnerable and alone and scared... Then everything will probably work out alright. People can... Be like that. Sometimes.
Posted by jane d on February 23, 2014, at 21:51:28
In reply to in trouble at work, posted by no rose garden on February 23, 2014, at 18:32:08
> My boss has been telling other people that I'm not working hard enough. He thinks I"m coming in too late and not staying late enough....even though I work as long or longer than others at times.
This sounds like it could be the problem. He may be trying to let you know that your hours have become a little too flexible. And too many of your hours are at times when he's not seeing them and you aren't getting credit for them. It's not fair but if you come in 2 hours late Monday thru Thursday and then work 10 extra hours on Friday most people will only remember the 2 hours late.
I know how hard it is to get up for a morning job, especially one you no longer love. I've always been awful at it. And I'm sure it's cost me at least one job. Is there anyone who could call you in the mornings? Maybe a relative? Or perhaps sign up for an expensive class that meets before work and costs so much you won't want to miss it? I hesitate suggesting trying to teach your dog to wake you up as you might never be able to unteach him but it is a possibility.
I'm going to disagree with Alex about confronting your boss. He may want you to get the message that you need to improve without his needing to make it official. If that's the case the last thing you want to do is force him to put his complaints on the record.
Is there anyone familiar with your work situation that you could get advice from. What about your former boss? He seemed to be a mentor to you so he knows and likes you and also would understand your current work environment.
I'm glad you've made the pdoc appointment. Hopefully that will help a lot. And I've noticed the days are getting longer too.
jane
Posted by Phillipa on February 24, 2014, at 9:02:30
In reply to in trouble at work, posted by no rose garden on February 23, 2014, at 18:32:08
Do you come to work late and leave earlier than others? Are all your hours the same? Can you do the same hours as the other employees. I have no idea what you job is and if you have some previous agreement with employer to vary your hours? Phillipa
Posted by alexandra_k on February 24, 2014, at 14:25:13
In reply to Re: in trouble at work » no rose garden, posted by jane d on February 23, 2014, at 21:51:28
> I'm going to disagree with Alex about confronting your boss. He may want you to get the message that you need to improve without his needing to make it official. If that's the case the last thing you want to do is force him to put his complaints on the record.i don't mean turn it into a confrontation. this is why i'd email - i'd think long and hard about the phrasing and the tone in order to keep it light. lighter than i could be about it in person.
i don't see how the boss being direct = official complaint on the record. i'd think of it more as a request. e.g., if he wants you to arrive at work at x time...
then you would appreciate it if he could simply ask this of you.
nothing i hate worse than 'he says she says' of office politics. certain employees trying to make certain other employees look bad... did someone else get a talking to directly from the boss about their arriving late so they start bitching about your activities? does your boss usually communicate in such an indirect fashion (some bosses love to promote employee one up manship and infighting)
?
Posted by no rose garden on February 24, 2014, at 20:19:14
In reply to in trouble at work, posted by no rose garden on February 23, 2014, at 18:32:08
Thanks guys...I think my boss is accusing me of things that are not necessarily true....so I guess I just need to figure out what he wants and do it b/c apparently I don't know what that is.
Posted by Phillipa on February 24, 2014, at 20:50:05
In reply to Re: in trouble at work, posted by no rose garden on February 24, 2014, at 20:19:14
Personally I would go and ask him directly what he needs from you and maybe revise your job description and get a copy for yourself as well. Phillipa
Posted by jane d on February 25, 2014, at 21:05:56
In reply to Re: in trouble at work, posted by no rose garden on February 24, 2014, at 20:19:14
I hope things went better today.
Thinking of you.
Posted by Poet on February 26, 2014, at 18:08:31
In reply to in trouble at work, posted by no rose garden on February 23, 2014, at 18:32:08
Hi No Rose Garden,
I've been in trouble more times at jobs than I can count. Mainly for saying things out loud that best remain in my head. I take it that your boss hasn't said anything directly to you? Can you trust the people who are telling you what he has said? I've dealt with my share of office tattletales who run to the boss to try to get me in trouble. The boss didn't personally observe things, he heard it from the tattler who wasn't necessarily accurate: two minutes late turns into 15. Might this be the case with you?
Let us know what the pdoc says.
Good luck.
Poet
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