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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Tabitha on July 17, 2012, at 22:46:08
when a mood disorder was my worst health problem :-/
Now I'm having cancer treatment. I had my first of 16 chemotherapy infusions and already had a big scare, had to be checked for possible heart attack. All is clear, but man, I can't believe this is my life now. When I get through the initial treatment I still only have 50-60% chance of 10 year survival.
You know I thought I had some suicide risk but I think I used to have better odds than that :-/
Feeling very sad tonight.
Posted by SLS on July 18, 2012, at 5:09:54
In reply to I miss the good old days, posted by Tabitha on July 17, 2012, at 22:46:08
> when a mood disorder was my worst health problem :-/
>
> Now I'm having cancer treatment. I had my first of 16 chemotherapy infusions and already had a big scare, had to be checked for possible heart attack. All is clear, but man, I can't believe this is my life now. When I get through the initial treatment I still only have 50-60% chance of 10 year survival.
>
> You know I thought I had some suicide risk but I think I used to have better odds than that :-/
>
> Feeling very sad tonight.I am feeling very sad, too.
:-(
A friend of mine of age 80 went through a full course of chemotherapy for colon cancer. It was hell for her. I don't know what kept her going. I can't see myself doing that. I might have just let it go and take me. She is currently cancer-free. I'm praying for you, Tabatha.
- Scott
Posted by gadchik on July 18, 2012, at 6:39:12
In reply to Re: I miss the good old days » Tabitha, posted by SLS on July 18, 2012, at 5:09:54
This is so tough.And I can imagine the shock you must feel.And Im guessing there's nothing that can take your mind away from it.I would steel myself,tell myself that I will get through it,no other option.See yourself getting well,surviving,and thriving.I am praying for you too,please surround yourself with people who care,and love you.
Posted by zazenducke on July 18, 2012, at 7:19:47
In reply to I miss the good old days, posted by Tabitha on July 17, 2012, at 22:46:08
Thinking about you and wishing you the best.
Posted by Tabitha on July 18, 2012, at 9:18:45
In reply to Re: I miss the good old days » Tabitha, posted by SLS on July 18, 2012, at 5:09:54
> I am feeling very sad, too.
>
> :-(
>
> A friend of mine of age 80 went through a full course of chemotherapy for colon cancer. It was hell for her. I don't know what kept her going. I can't see myself doing that. I might have just let it go and take me. She is currently cancer-free. I'm praying for you, Tabatha.
>
>
> - ScottThank you Scott. I'm so sorry for your friend's ordeal. Chemo must be so much harder on the elderly. Glad it had a good outcome for her. Yeah if I was 80 it might be hard to imagine starting down this road but human will to live is a real thing. I am seeing elderly and frail people in a whole new light now. I think I kind of understand a bit more what keeps them going despite the breakdown of the body.
I never considered refusing treatment. I've heard second hand stories of women that did, and their ordeal sounds a lot worse than treatment.
Posted by Tabitha on July 18, 2012, at 9:25:31
In reply to Re: I miss the good old days, posted by gadchik on July 18, 2012, at 6:39:12
> This is so tough.And I can imagine the shock you must feel.And Im guessing there's nothing that can take your mind away from it.I would steel myself,tell myself that I will get through it,no other option.See yourself getting well,surviving,and thriving.I am praying for you too,please surround yourself with people who care,and love you.
Gadchik, that's it, I've just steeled myself that this is happening whether I like it or not. Every individual step is tolerable and it helps to remember that. I have a hard time seeing myself winning the fight but for now just hanging in there is enough. Thank you for your prayers. I have gotten a lot of support from loved ones and strangers.
Posted by Tabitha on July 18, 2012, at 9:26:17
In reply to Re: I miss the good old days » Tabitha, posted by zazenducke on July 18, 2012, at 7:19:47
> Thinking about you and wishing you the best.
Thanks dear Duckie
Posted by Phillipa on July 18, 2012, at 10:12:49
In reply to I miss the good old days, posted by Tabitha on July 17, 2012, at 22:46:08
Tabitha in the last year three of my old high school friends have gone through chemo, radiation for BC and are now on a SERM. All are doing well. Actually thriving, back at work, and one getting ready to volunteer at the local hospital, one married to a pdoc, and one my mammo tech. My neighbor is now at l0 years survival and works with Bras a manager who travels to teach others how to fit bras she also works with breast cancer surviors. I don't know how I'd do it I admit to fearing it greatly. I guess my message is hang in their and that you will join the many many females that survive and go on to live life fully. You are a strong woman. Let us help to support you. Please continue to post. Phillipa
Posted by Tabitha on July 18, 2012, at 10:36:31
In reply to Re: I miss the good old days » Tabitha, posted by Phillipa on July 18, 2012, at 10:12:49
Thank you dear Phillipa. It does help to hear stories of women getting past this. There are so many.
I am sorry you live with fear of this thing. I never really feared it before. I didn't realize how common it really is, especially as we age. When I think about it I get angry and wish it was the norm for women to just get bilateral mastectomy as soon as they know they won't be needing to nurse any more children. Doesn't reduce the risk to zero but it reduces it greatly. Why are we walking around with these cancer prone things? Throw in a hysterectomy for uterine and ovarian cancer prevention as well.
Thank you for calling me strong. I don't always feel that way! My sister in law sent me a quote saying you don't have to feel strong before an ordeal, you can know you will be strengthened by the ordeal instead. I found that inspirational.
> Tabitha in the last year three of my old high school friends have gone through chemo, radiation for BC and are now on a SERM. All are doing well. Actually thriving, back at work, and one getting ready to volunteer at the local hospital, one married to a pdoc, and one my mammo tech. My neighbor is now at l0 years survival and works with Bras a manager who travels to teach others how to fit bras she also works with breast cancer surviors. I don't know how I'd do it I admit to fearing it greatly. I guess my message is hang in their and that you will join the many many females that survive and go on to live life fully. You are a strong woman. Let us help to support you. Please continue to post. Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on July 18, 2012, at 18:29:46
In reply to I miss the good old days, posted by Tabitha on July 17, 2012, at 22:46:08
I was wondering how you were doing, and thinking of you. Is your therapist any help to you now?
I never think of strength in times of trial. I'm more likely to think of carrying something heavy, where you can't possibly carry it one more foot. Yet you do, because, really, you have no choice. I don't think of that as strength so much as endurance. I am sometimes surprised to find myself managing to carry on, and I'm guessing you'll find yourself surprised many times by the steps you're able to take.
It sounds as if you've put together a support network. Don't be afraid to lean on it as much as you need (including Babble).
Posted by Phillipa on July 18, 2012, at 20:32:50
In reply to Re: I miss the good old days » Phillipa, posted by Tabitha on July 18, 2012, at 10:36:31
Tabitha interesting you say this as at one time worked with an RN who said the exact same thing. Said if we no longer need them take them off, get rid of uterus and ovaries and less risk of cancer. At the time it was kind of a joke. Now I do think she was on to something. Seems females have so many more problems health wise than males. Phillipa
Posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2012, at 11:42:06
In reply to Re: I miss the good old days » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on July 18, 2012, at 18:29:46
Hi Dinah. Yes my therapist has been a help. I was stuck and ended up having some breakthroughs in my personal growth. She said therapy hadn't gotten me there but the cancer would, and I had to admit she was right. It helped me find the "gifts of cancer" like heightened appreciation for life, better sense of priorities, more connection with spirituality. Or as she put it, it helped me get to the Joy Place. So I put terminating on the back burner for now. She still gives me some flaky advice too!
Dinah you have a lot of endurance yourself. You have chugged along and maintained a job, marriage, and motherhood while carrying a big heavy load of frequent mental distress. It's not easy!
Overall I'm doing pretty well. I finally bounced back from the initial side effects of chemo round #1. This thing has kind of sped up my mood cycles. I used to be down for days at a time, then up. Now I go through the whole cycle every single day. In a way it's better, if I'm having a bad couple hours I know that I'll probably have a good couple hours soon. Seems if I'm good in the morning I deteriorate as the day goes on, and vice versa.
Yes I have a decent support network at this point. It's small but adequate. You really only need a few people to rely on. What's more I'm a married lady now. We eloped last weekend. :-)
> I was wondering how you were doing, and thinking of you. Is your therapist any help to you now?
>
> I never think of strength in times of trial. I'm more likely to think of carrying something heavy, where you can't possibly carry it one more foot. Yet you do, because, really, you have no choice. I don't think of that as strength so much as endurance. I am sometimes surprised to find myself managing to carry on, and I'm guessing you'll find yourself surprised many times by the steps you're able to take.
>
> It sounds as if you've put together a support network. Don't be afraid to lean on it as much as you need (including Babble).
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2012, at 19:51:52
In reply to Re: I miss the good old days » Dinah, posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2012, at 11:42:06
I'm so delighted for you! He's a lucky guy, and I hope he realizes it.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on July 19, 2012, at 20:32:59
In reply to Re: I miss the good old days » Dinah, posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2012, at 11:42:06
Congratulations!!
:-)
Posted by zazenducke on July 21, 2012, at 11:09:40
In reply to Re: I miss the good old days » Dinah, posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2012, at 11:42:06
I hope you'll have a wonderful life together. He's a very lucky guy
This is the end of the thread.
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