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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by olivia12 on September 6, 2010, at 14:07:03
So, I thought it would be a nice idea to start this thread--who are you and how did you end up on this site? I will start to muddle through this...I started with mental health when I was 14 y/o--developed an eating disorder. Many years later I was able to get over this terrible cycle with the help of Paxil. Loved that drug and stayed on it for some years. I managed to graduate from college with a degree in Allied Health and a minor in psych. I have been on Clonozampam and a bunch of anti-depressants throughout the years because I felt the quality of my life (and those around me) benefitted. I am currently only taking Effexor and I think I am ok with this med--no side effects at 75 mg. and I feel pretty ok. I would have loved to stay on Clonazapam and Paxil as they were the best drugs I have been on, however, it is always a trade-off--IMO, the better the drug, the worse the side effects. I lost my ex to suicide about 3 years ago--a sweet, but disturbed man left me with our 2 young girls--ages 2 and 3 when he passed. Thus that very mean post I left some weeks ago--no SS benefits and an invalid life insurance policy (suicide was a clause) kinda pissed me off. I went through many months so very sad and wondering how he could have taken his life when his little girls needed him. They were his world--he adored them as they did him, but apparently the pain that he felt was larger. I was blown away and overwhelmed to say the least--I still feel like this at times. However, I got through it and now consider myself pretty blessed. Thank God I had a great support network and a good degree that enables me to support our family. I now have a wonderful man in my life and my 2 litle gals that remind me of how precious what we have is. I stumbled on this site because I was interested in other's perspectives on anti-depressants--likely I was looking for a great one without side-effects--yeah, right;( Dr.Bob has created a very good site and I have learned much from being involved. So, that's my story and thanks for listening. I would love it if you guys would continue this link... Happy Labor Day to all:)
Posted by ed_uk2010 on September 6, 2010, at 15:12:43
In reply to My Story, posted by olivia12 on September 6, 2010, at 14:07:03
>I lost my ex to suicide about 3 years ago--a sweet, but disturbed man left me with our 2 young girls--ages 2 and 3 when he passed.
How painful for you. You must have been very strong to cope.
Posted by olivia12 on September 6, 2010, at 15:21:00
In reply to Re: My Story, posted by ed_uk2010 on September 6, 2010, at 15:12:43
Yes, I am and so are you. We all have times to endure. So, what's your story friend?
Posted by obsidian on September 6, 2010, at 21:29:46
In reply to My Story, posted by olivia12 on September 6, 2010, at 14:07:03
hello
I am so sorry about your loss, and the struggles you must be going through.
I have dealt most of my life with a tremendous amount of anxiety. I get depressed sometimes, sometimes very depressed.
It's a struggle for me to be around people in most situations. I have a hard time feeling safe and comfortable.
I grew up in a really chaotic home with parents who were violent toward one another and alcoholic. They are both pretty limited people emotionally. There was a lot of neglect. I was raised by wolves ;-)...just kidding, but that might've been nice.
I could go on about that, but it's an old story.
Mental illness is present in the gene pool of both sides of my family, whatever you want to call it, suicide attempts, psychosis, depression, hospitalizations, etc. - not everyone of course.
So I take medication because I'm looking for some stability, and a way to keep my anxiety at a manageable level.
I got to this site, I think, when I was surfing the net....maybe from depressioncentral.com??
I've been in therapy for over 10 years, looking for a group right now because I want to work on the social anxiety more, and of course the basic communication and relationship skills. Therapy has been rough, but I have benefited a lot from it.
So, I take effexor xr, lamictal, klonopin and seroquel. that's a lot of drugs...I can't believe I take it all. At this point I don't feel like I can get off of them.
I work full time, went through lots of school. It was a good time.
My name here is really 'sid', but that's a female sid :-).
I'd like to be a mom, one day, before it's too late.
so that's a part of the story...sorry you asked??
good luck to you olivia :-)
and take good care of yourself,
sid
Posted by olivia12 on September 7, 2010, at 0:00:39
In reply to Re: My Story » olivia12, posted by obsidian on September 6, 2010, at 21:29:46
Sid, I loved reading your story! You summed it up well. If you are uncomfortable in social settings, it is that much more impressive that you posted here:) It is brave of you to continue to seek support and stick with therapy--I know it can be exhausting/consuming. I, too, hope you get the chance to one day be a mom--"too late" is getting older these days. I had my last child when I was an old and moldy 38 y/o. You seem to have a lot of insight into your depression/anxiety and it is apparent that you have worked hard for this understanding. I wish you well:)
Posted by auntie3 on September 7, 2010, at 13:36:23
In reply to My Story, posted by olivia12 on September 6, 2010, at 14:07:03
I stumbled on this site doing a google search a few weeks ago, subject: How to leave therapy. I have been struggling with depression since I was about 12, I'm now 46. I was diagnosed officially at age 26. It runs in my family. Life was better when I could take meds for it, but for some unknown reasons all meds stopped working for me about 4 years ago. My body does not tolerate them and sometime reacts violently to anti-depressant medication. I found therapy to be a life saver, much more helpful than the meds ever were when they were working. But a combination of both is the best combination if possible. I have been with this therapist for 12 years, and have become very attached and have been able to resolve or help many issues, low self esteem, abandonment issues, among other things. I got my feelings hurt by my therapist a few months ago and don't know how to talk to her about it, so I figured I've done this long enough that maybe I can go it alone. Anyway, I found some useful things on here and so I joined to maybe participate. It's interesting how different yet alike a lot of our stories are. I don't think I'm ready for therapy to end, I'm single and don't date, and we have not even touched on that issue yet. It's nice to get to know some of you.
Posted by morgan miller on September 7, 2010, at 14:58:04
In reply to My Story, posted by olivia12 on September 6, 2010, at 14:07:03
My story is a long one, as I'm sure many PB's are. I appreciate you making this thread and inviting us to share our experience. I will come back when I have more time and energy to put some thought into it.
Morgan
Posted by olivia12 on September 7, 2010, at 22:02:05
In reply to Re: My Story, posted by auntie3 on September 7, 2010, at 13:36:23
Thanks for sharing your story Aunt:)
Posted by olivia12 on September 7, 2010, at 22:03:56
In reply to Re: My Story, posted by morgan miller on September 7, 2010, at 14:58:04
Please do, as from what I've read, you have much to say:) Thanks:)
Posted by obsidian on September 8, 2010, at 23:13:11
In reply to Re: My Story, posted by olivia12 on September 7, 2010, at 0:00:39
I like it here. I've been coming her for a long time now. It's nice to hear what other people are thinking, the things otherwise people may not often share.
I am very uncomfortable in a lot of social situations, but I am very often in them. I forgot to choose a career that allows me to spend a lot of time alone. crap! ;-)
anyway, thanks olivia, glad you're here. :-)
Posted by olivia12 on September 9, 2010, at 19:53:18
In reply to Re: My Story » olivia12, posted by obsidian on September 8, 2010, at 23:13:11
I am happy that you are here too, obs:)
Posted by Lil'Deb on September 10, 2010, at 19:35:06
In reply to Re: My Story, posted by olivia12 on September 9, 2010, at 19:53:18
I am new to this site, and I think it's great how members support eachother. I also found this site because my of the decreased effectiveness of my antidepressant. I'm afraid that nothing will work like Effexor did in the beginning, and I was looking for guidance from those who have experience. Therapy did not work for me, and my doctor is only a GP. Anyway, sometimes just being able to tell your story and have others who will listen and care is healing in itself. It is also nice to know that you're not alone. I, too, have a story I think I would like to share sometime. I am looking forward to learning more about this site.
Posted by emmanuel98 on September 10, 2010, at 20:27:09
In reply to Re: My Story, posted by Lil'Deb on September 10, 2010, at 19:35:06
I thought I posted this earlier, but apparently it never showed up. I found this site after googling -- I love my therapist. I was so caught up in transference love and didn't know how to handle it. This site came up and so did guidetopsychology.com, which I found very helpful. Initially, I just visited the psychology thread to see what others said about experiences in therapy, which I found overwhelming.
Then I fell into a severe depression and went through trial after trial of meds. The one's that helped me (atypical anti-psychotics) also made me gain so much weight it was frightening and depressing. I started reading to medication thread to see what other people had experienced with meds. Then I was started on parnate and read the medication site and asked about other's experience with parnate and MAOI's. I am now stable on parnate and perphnazine (an older anti-psychotic that doesn't case weight gain). I have no real side effects except for insomnia from the parnate, for which I take trazadone and ativan at bedtime.
The psychology issues are still with me though. I am terrified of being alone, despite having created a life and career for myself where I am often alone. I tried ending therapy with my T of five years, then ended up coming back five months later because I couldn't bear not seeing him. We are now trying to cut back again to every other week. I am seeing him mostly for supportive therapy. We don't have a lot of exploratory work to do anymore. Over five years, we explored and I came to terms with my f***ked up childhood and adolescence. Now I see a CBT/DBT therapist and most of the work of therapy has shifted over to her. I just am so attached to my T that I have a hard time ending or even imagining not seeing him.
I've found this site to be very interesting and supportive. There's almost no flaming and when there is, Dr. Bob stops it immediately.
Posted by olivia12 on September 10, 2010, at 20:41:55
In reply to Re: My Story, posted by emmanuel98 on September 10, 2010, at 20:27:09
Yes, Dr. Bob does a great job moderating this site--doesn't interfere unless it is necessary:)
Posted by BetweenDreams81 on September 24, 2010, at 16:18:15
In reply to Re: My Story, posted by olivia12 on September 10, 2010, at 20:41:55
hi, I'm new here. Just came across this board while looking up info on Lithium Orotate.
I'm just realizing and coming to terms that I have been living with bipolar depression for the better part of 3 years, perhaps longer. I was diagnosed (4 yrs ago) at 25 with AADHD and placed on Adderall (5-10 mg). It made me obsessively focused...I literally was unable to stop doing whatever I was doing until 4-5 AM, became a skeleton due to loss of appetite, had dry mouth...and when I could no longer stand these side effects I would crash. hard. Still, because I was in college and double majoring at the time in poli sci and anthropology, I would take the Adderall to keep me focused on the volume of book work and writing that was necessary. It was a struggle I ultimately gave up, and dropped out of college...for more reasons than that of course, but that certainly had a major role. Realizing now that I was very likely swinging between mania and depression which made follow through and delivery nearly impossible. This same cycle continues with various other endeavors to present. Manic episodes have put me on the path to near financial ruin...I'm working on that one!
What made me stare it face on was a debilitating 4-month long depression this past winter. A good friend of mine whom happens to be bipolar recognized the symptoms, helped me work through my depression, and put a little seed in my brain. During that long episode I lost a number of my clients and put a ton of strain on several very close friendships. And that was then followed by a major manic episode that led to an out of state move where my whole world came crashing down...even still I hadn't entirely strung the beads together until I took a few days to visit with my dear friend again a few weeks ago. After returning home, I looked good and hard and admitted the thing I had avoided truly facing...I'm bipolar...hell, I'll take the stigma/label if it means being stable and finding more balance to my life.
So, mostly I'm here to learn. about this bipolar disorder. about myself. about you. And I am a great listener and I'm here for you if you're here for me.
Posted by olivia12 on September 24, 2010, at 18:28:17
In reply to Re: My Story, posted by BetweenDreams81 on September 24, 2010, at 16:18:15
You sound very brave and insightful, Dreams. Welcome! This is a great site and I trust you will find much support and some good advice too. Thanks for sharing:)
Posted by olivia12 on September 24, 2010, at 19:06:41
In reply to Re: My Story, posted by BetweenDreams81 on September 24, 2010, at 16:18:15
Oh and you might like this book: "Manic, a memoir" by Terri Cheney. I read it recently and was blown away by it. Take care:)
Posted by olivia12 on November 20, 2010, at 23:36:32
In reply to Re: My Story, posted by morgan miller on September 7, 2010, at 14:58:04
And so please do share...
This is the end of the thread.
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