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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Roslynn on January 17, 2010, at 19:34:22
In reply to so anxious about Stanford, posted by inanimate peanut on January 17, 2010, at 17:59:43
Hi Peanut,
Don't be nervous, although I can understand you want to get the most value out of the experience.
Maybe they could give you suggestions for different combinations than what you've been on, or different augmentation strategies, or they might give you a list of what to try next and what to try after that, etc.
Also they may be able to serve as a resource for you in the future if you have questions, etc.
I'm just thinking of some possibilities that could happen while you're there. they may not have one magic answer but they may be able to start you in a different direction. They may see things from a different angle, maybe.
Best of luck to you!
Roslynn
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on January 17, 2010, at 19:59:29
In reply to Re: so anxious about Stanford, posted by Roslynn on January 17, 2010, at 19:34:22
what..are going to stanford the university?
Wow! they do studies on patient's or am I off a little bit.
Posted by Phillipa on January 17, 2010, at 21:29:11
In reply to Re: so anxious about Stanford, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on January 17, 2010, at 19:59:29
Of course your're worried who wouldn't be? I know I sure would. But you've taken the initiative to get help. Remember a tape recorder. Leaving tomorrow or the next day? Phillipa
Posted by janejane on January 18, 2010, at 5:38:12
In reply to Re: so anxious about Stanford, posted by inanimate peanut on January 17, 2010, at 18:35:41
> If they're the best in the nation and they can't make me better, I just can't get better. That's why I'm truly scared. This is like a last ditch effort.
That seems like all-or-nothing thinking. Psychopharm is as much art as science so I'm not sure you can expect them to know immediately what the right answer is, for you. Hopefully, they'll be able to make some suggestions you haven't considered. Then you'll have to work with your doc to implement them. In this sense, the consultation will probably be just the first step of a longer journey, though a potentially very important one.
I know it seems scary right now, but you'll probably feel so much better for having done it. If nothing else, you'll never have that nagging doubt whether it might have been helpful if you didn't do it.
Good luck and stay safe. If you're able to get online while you're there, keep us updated, too.
We're all rooting for you!
Posted by inanimate peanut on January 18, 2010, at 10:51:06
In reply to Re: so anxious about Stanford » inanimate peanut, posted by janejane on January 18, 2010, at 5:38:12
Well, having my flight delayed for 4 hours isn't helping. Airports are not a good place for me :-(. My trusty PRNs and I are hanging in there...
Posted by janejane on January 18, 2010, at 11:07:14
In reply to Re: so anxious about Stanford, posted by inanimate peanut on January 18, 2010, at 10:51:06
> Well, having my flight delayed for 4 hours isn't helping. Airports are not a good place for me :-(. My trusty PRNs and I are hanging in there...
It's FOUR hours now?!? That's a long time. I hope you've got access to good snacks and reading material.
I have to tell you that I think you're very brave to do this, and I admire you for it. Hang in there!
Posted by janejane on January 18, 2010, at 11:14:50
In reply to Re: so anxious about Stanford, posted by inanimate peanut on January 18, 2010, at 10:51:06
Peanut, if you need some diversions, you could try some games:
I usually stick to the web-based ones but there are downloads too. I've been playing Alchemy (a puzzle game) a lot lately.
Posted by inanimate peanut on January 18, 2010, at 12:34:06
In reply to Re: so anxious about Stanford, posted by janejane on January 18, 2010, at 11:14:50
you read my mind-- I was dying for diversions! They're not at all sure we're going to get out today at all because of the fog. They haven't cancelled anything yet, only delayed. I really have to figure out how to get there tonight!
Posted by janejane on January 18, 2010, at 12:41:24
In reply to Re: so anxious about Stanford, posted by inanimate peanut on January 18, 2010, at 12:34:06
> you read my mind-- I was dying for diversions! They're not at all sure we're going to get out today at all because of the fog. They haven't cancelled anything yet, only delayed. I really have to figure out how to get there tonight!
Oh no! I wonder if they'll let you do it over the phone if you can't get out there in time, or reschedule for the following day, as they wanted to do, anyway. What is the current forecast like? You're too far to go by train, aren't you?
Posted by floatingbridge on January 18, 2010, at 16:15:38
In reply to Re: so anxious about Stanford, posted by inanimate peanut on January 17, 2010, at 18:35:41
> If they're the best in the nation and they can't make me better, I just can't get better. That's why I'm truly scared. This is like a last ditch effort.
Yes, I know the feeling. I almost backed out of my appt. A good friend told me I would regret not going, and she's right. Stanford, she told me, is very cutting edge and open to newer ideas and therapies. She also said a mutual friend went to their migraine clinic--she had intolerable, intractable episodes of month length duration. They didn't cure her; however she has only about one migraine a year of shorter duration. She learned to stop migraines before they happened. BP is not curable; but what if you really did feel better, with increasing lengths of time between episodes--and the episodes diminished in duration?
You can get a good life back. I know you will. And I completely empathize with the terror.
Courage--and I know you have that!
fb
Posted by floatingbridge on January 18, 2010, at 16:18:51
In reply to Re: so anxious about Stanford, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on January 17, 2010, at 19:59:29
> what..are going to stanford the university?
>
>
> Wow! they do studies on patient's or am I off a little bit.rj, yes they do. and they do consults and treatment. who knows if they'll want peanut to participate in a study? could be good. there are good research hospitals and universities in many states. any near you?
how are you these days?
fb
Posted by floatingbridge on January 18, 2010, at 16:20:48
In reply to Re: so anxious about Stanford, posted by Phillipa on January 17, 2010, at 21:29:11
> Of course your're worried who wouldn't be? I know I sure would. But you've taken the initiative to get help. Remember a tape recorder. Leaving tomorrow or the next day? Phillipa
a tape recorder? i hadn't thought of that. that's allowed?
fb
Posted by floatingbridge on January 18, 2010, at 16:23:12
In reply to Re: so anxious about Stanford, posted by inanimate peanut on January 18, 2010, at 10:51:06
> Well, having my flight delayed for 4 hours isn't helping. Airports are not a good place for me :-(. My trusty PRNs and I are hanging in there...
yeah, big storms here. don't know if that's the delay. what's your prn? (just curious if you don't mind sharing....)
Posted by floatingbridge on January 18, 2010, at 16:26:07
In reply to Re: so anxious about Stanford, posted by inanimate peanut on January 18, 2010, at 12:34:06
> you read my mind-- I was dying for diversions! They're not at all sure we're going to get out today at all because of the fog. They haven't cancelled anything yet, only delayed. I really have to figure out how to get there tonight!
peanut, call them. They have to make an allowance for you somehow. Can you stay an extra day if need be?
good luck!
Posted by inanimate peanut on January 18, 2010, at 16:34:26
In reply to so anxious about Stanford, posted by inanimate peanut on January 17, 2010, at 17:59:43
So after making us wait around for almost 10 hours, they just cancelled our flight. There's too much fog for their jets to fly. Luckily I was able to get a flight through Southwest that has to transfer in Phoenix-- this is not helping my anxiety. I'm getting in very late and may not be able to sleep much. I'm so mad! But, at least I didn't have to start over and reschedule my appt. But it seems like this keeps turning into drama, drama, drama... And my friendly PRN is Ativan 2-4mg as needed (like now). Wish me luck; I'll keep you updated as I can.
Posted by floatingbridge on January 18, 2010, at 16:48:23
In reply to flight cancelled--new plan, posted by inanimate peanut on January 18, 2010, at 16:34:26
Sorry for the anxiety. Tired may not be the worst thing in the world (however unpleasant); I don't know about you, but I always 'present' much more upbeat than I really am. This can confuse doctors--I had one tell me once that I wasn't depressed at all :-)
fb
thanks for the update--so the fog is on your end? And your flying within the States?
Posted by janejane on January 18, 2010, at 17:24:21
In reply to flight cancelled--new plan, posted by inanimate peanut on January 18, 2010, at 16:34:26
10 hours? I hope they're compensating you somehow. That's awful.
I'm so glad you were able to get another flight, though. (I don't understand why that plane can fly and other can't.) Maybe you can nap a little on the plane.
Posted by Phillipa on January 18, 2010, at 20:15:16
In reply to Re: so anxious about Stanford » Phillipa, posted by floatingbridge on January 18, 2010, at 16:20:48
Don't know but I'd have a tiny one in my pocket legal or not. With a super long tape. Love Phillipa
Posted by inanimate peanut on January 18, 2010, at 22:12:52
In reply to so anxious about Stanford, posted by inanimate peanut on January 17, 2010, at 17:59:43
I'm not sure if I have ever been as humiliated as I have been by the past hour. First, I have been in tears now for 4 hours. I just can't stop crying (it's great fun to cry on a plane full of people-- I guess you just hope they think someone died). To make matters worse, they told me they didn't have room for my carry-on bag and so had to check it through to San Fran and gave me 5 sec on the runway to grab anything I would need b/t here n there. Of course I didn't grab my meds, so all of this is no baggage, no meds, no PRN. So,
1. The flight to Phoenix was no big deal except for the fact that I had no PRN and cried the entire way (not sure why that one is-- crying is usually a symptom of much worse depressions for me which is what this feels like it's becoming)
2. After the flight in Phoenix I got to my gate over 30 min early and sat down to wait to board at 8:30. They started boarding at 8:30 and when it was finally my time at 8:40 or so they say "you have the wrong ticket-- you are going to San Francisco and we're going to whateverplace" You're f*&ckin kiddin me-- my meds and underwear and everything else had left for San Fran without me so I ran (note: I run like the new biggest loser folks) all the way to the other end of the terminal where they had apparently moved the gate at the last minute so I am running, gasping, and crying hysterically in front of packed rooms yelling "has San Francisco left yet" carrying a trash bag for luggage. The only silver lining on this horrendous day's very black cloud is that the flight to San Francisco is indeed delayed BY 3 MORE HOURS and hasn't left. So now, having hyperventilated, I am currently sitting in the one lonely place I could find in the airport to cry, cough, and sneezingly calm my way down with no PRNs. This is hell. I give up. This was a horrible idea and it's going to land me back in the hospital, and not the Stanford kind.
Posted by Phillipa on January 19, 2010, at 0:02:50
In reply to peanut gives up- take me to the (any) hospital, posted by inanimate peanut on January 18, 2010, at 22:12:52
Oh Peanut what can I say if I lived even remotely close I'd get you and get you some meds still in the airport? You will get to Stanford. You will You will and it will be great. I'm so so sorry for what you've gone through today and hope your're in your hotel and sleeping now with your meds and own luggage. Please hang in there and if needed get Stanford on the phone from whereever you are and get them to help you. And keep writing. Love Phillipa
Posted by janejane on January 19, 2010, at 6:54:23
In reply to Re: peanut gives up- take me to the (any) hospital » inanimate peanut, posted by Phillipa on January 19, 2010, at 0:02:50
Oh Peanut, I'm so sorry. What a difficult day. And without your meds, too. Hopefully your travel nightmare will be long over by the time you get this, but if you're still without your PRN, you could try green tea for the anxiety.
If you can get it, matcha (or maccha) is an especially potent kind since it's made by mixing powdered tea leaves in hot water (as opposed to steeping). Because you ingest the whole leaf, you get more of the calming theanine (amino acid). I've read that starbucks makes lattes out of it, though I've never tried one. I drink the plain stuff at home, and I find that it can ease anxiety quite a bit. It's no accident that it's the type of tea used in Japanese tea ceremony because it really does induce a sense of calm and focus (possibly due to affecting GABA, dopamine, and serotonin).
If you can't get matcha, you can try regular green tea, but you might want to steep it longer for the most benefit. (I do that sometimes, and it seems to work.)
Be strong, Peanut. You're almost there.
Posted by janejane on January 19, 2010, at 7:17:45
In reply to (((Peanut))) » Phillipa, posted by janejane on January 19, 2010, at 6:54:23
Oops. Last post was intended for Peanut, not Phillipa. (Sorry!)
Posted by janejane on January 19, 2010, at 7:19:28
In reply to Re: (((Peanut))) » janejane, posted by janejane on January 19, 2010, at 7:17:45
OK, it's obviously just too early for me to be posting since I made that last one to myself! I wish I could blame it on not having coffee yet, but I don't drink coffee anymore. Maybe that's the problem...
Posted by floatingbridge on January 19, 2010, at 9:39:52
In reply to Re: (((Peanut))), posted by janejane on January 19, 2010, at 7:19:28
Peanut, OMG-- I've just read this last turn of events--honey, hang on in--ach!-- no prn....
I hope to get word from you soon,
fb
(We've lost our power again-- hopefully my phone will let me post. And I hope the storms don't complicate your situation any further.)
Posted by inanimate peanut on January 19, 2010, at 16:12:56
In reply to Re: (((Peanut))), posted by floatingbridge on January 19, 2010, at 9:39:52
Well, my baggage finally came in on the plane after mine and I was able to take my meds. By that time I was hysterical enough that they were making me a pre-board due to disability (that was really embarrassing). Anyway, after getting that, standing in a long taxi line and paying for a $100 taxi, I did get to bed for about 5 hours sleep. I got up and went to my appt. I'm really disappointed with the options the doctor gave me-- I'll post more on that on the med board. I think I wasn't able to give him as clear information because I'm so tired now. It's horrible to pay so much and come so far for an appointment and know you are no where near your best. Now I'm back in the airport and the saga continues. I'm back in the airport for my flight home. It's already been delayed once and apparently the weather at home is awful, so I wonder if we'll be able to fly at all. I really need to get home. I really need sleep. I don't know how much more of this I can take, even with PRNs. I will be so relieved when I get home!!! I wish I had never done any of this!!!
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