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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on October 3, 2009, at 10:25:15
For some reason today I woke up afraid that my parents will die some day. I'm still very dependent on them. I hope I will be independent before they die.
I'm scared. What if they get sick?
:-(
Posted by Phillipa on October 3, 2009, at 12:27:25
In reply to I'm afraid of my parents dying, posted by Deneb on October 3, 2009, at 10:25:15
Deneb this is hard for me personally to answer as Mother died when I was l7. I just had no choice but to go on. She was sick my whole life. I never knew a healthy family life. I now am afraid of my own death. But what can I do? Yes it's more than scarey to me. Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on October 3, 2009, at 15:11:07
In reply to I'm afraid of my parents dying, posted by Deneb on October 3, 2009, at 10:25:15
I think when one relationship in our life feels shaky, we tend to hold onto the others even tighter. It makes absolute sense to me that as you are upset by your pdoc/therapist cutting back to every other week, and feel abandoned and scared by that, that you would be scared and worry about abandonment by your parents.
There's no reason to think they'll die anytime soon, so maybe you can recognize that you're feeling a bit off balance right now, and holding onto what provides stability in your life. Your fears are based on what's going on with you, not what's going on with them.
It's all ok. It just helps to recognize the larger patterns, I find.
Posted by Deneb on October 5, 2009, at 7:49:05
In reply to Re: I'm afraid of my parents dying » Deneb, posted by Dinah on October 3, 2009, at 15:11:07
Thanks Dinah. That makes a lot of sense. I hope my parents are OK health wise.
Posted by Kath on October 5, 2009, at 10:27:47
In reply to Re: I'm afraid of my parents dying, posted by Deneb on October 5, 2009, at 7:49:05
Like Phillipa, my experience was to loose my parents young. I was in my early 20's & lost them both within 2 years.
And like Phillipa, it's my own death that's this issue.
I wonder - since it sounds like your independence is a major factor, what if you & therapist/psych came up with a really broken-down-into-small-things list of things that you'd need to have in place in order to feel independent & be independent. It could be just for your own information.....almost like opening the door to see what's making the big noise & being able to see the it's a series of small branches all clanking against the door & making a Big racket.
You could really break things down so that there were easily achieveable things on it that you could bit by bit become independent with. You could even tick them off or cross them off as you get the under your belt.
It's just a thought Deneb - for me, it would help, but for some people it might just cause more stress.
:-)) Kath
PS - I thought Dinah's post had great insight.
Posted by Deneb on October 5, 2009, at 11:03:18
In reply to Re: I'm afraid of my parents dying » Deneb, posted by Kath on October 5, 2009, at 10:27:47
Thanks Kath. Those are really good ideas of what to do to gain more confidence in myself. Pdoc and I think doing things like cooking, shopping, cleaning and the like will help too.
Posted by Kath on October 5, 2009, at 18:49:02
In reply to Re: I'm afraid of my parents dying » Kath, posted by Deneb on October 5, 2009, at 11:03:18
I'm sure those type of things will indeed help, Deneb. If you decide to move out at some point, they'll be great things to already be familiar with.
:-)
Posted by Deneb on October 5, 2009, at 22:39:10
In reply to I'm afraid of my parents dying, posted by Deneb on October 3, 2009, at 10:25:15
My Dad had a doctor's appointment today and he found out there is something wrong with his heart. He needs more tests.
Everything else was normal, there is just something wrong with his heart and he can't do strenuous exercise. :-(
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