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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on July 25, 2009, at 17:38:52
When I get in a bad way a lot of the time I post about it impulsively. My moods don't last for long so in a little bit I am OK. It's the right thing to do to post that I am OK right? I wouldn't want people to worry and think I was still in a bad way.
But recently someone said this is playing games. I'm not playing games. I'm just posting how I feel, a lot of the times on impulse.
If people would rather I not post that I am OK right after posting I am in a bad way, then I won't. I can control my postings better when I am in a good way.
I still have to work on not posting the bad stuff in the first place.
Posted by SLS on July 25, 2009, at 19:19:45
In reply to Should I do this?, posted by Deneb on July 25, 2009, at 17:38:52
Sometimes, it pays to take a "time out" before posting something. You know how labile and reactive your mood is. Taking the extra time might allow you to find balance.
If you want your therapy to yield growth, you may want to investigate the possibility that you are suffering from BPD. If you are not being treated properly, how can you expect to make progress? Go for a second opinion.
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on July 25, 2009, at 20:58:31
In reply to Re: Should I do this?, posted by SLS on July 25, 2009, at 19:19:45
Scott what a wonderful idea. Phillipa
Posted by Glydin 00 on July 25, 2009, at 21:17:03
In reply to Should I do this?, posted by Deneb on July 25, 2009, at 17:38:52
> I still have to work on not posting the bad stuff in the first place.
>~~~ I am glad to see you post that. My real hope is you work on not feeling the need to want to harm yourself or feeling the need to engage in risky behavior and work towards finding better ways of coping.
I think the immediate situation of bad thoughts/questionable behavior followed by "I'm okay now" may not the bigger issue. The repetive pattern of behavior over a longish time may be the more distressful factor on the boards. For me, I sometimes feel it might be better to ignore than to feel as if I'm enabling an unhealthy situation... I feel folks are doing their best, even with some frustrations at times, to be of help. There are limitations as to what can come from an on-line mental health community and IMO, there are understandable frustrations, misunderstandings and flat out confusions.
I see good intentions from others. I see good intentions from you also. I hope you work toward helping yourself.
Posted by Bobby on July 25, 2009, at 23:12:02
In reply to Should I do this?, posted by Deneb on July 25, 2009, at 17:38:52
I still have to work on not posting the bad stuff in the first place.
Yes! For the love of God-----please! Get help in real life----mom/dad/sister/friend/dr/hospital. I'm sorry Deneb--but I'm going to stop responding to your attention posts---I think therein lies the problem. I'm no Dr.----but I have agonized a gazillion times over your emergency/I feel like ? posts. My heart cannot take anymore----- as it is never ending---maybe because it works.Bob doesn't give the attention and maybe that's part of the attraction you harbor for him----I'm not qualified to make any sort of judgement or diagnosis. I've just made a personal observation after many years of this. You know I love you and would never want to hurt your feelings---AND---you've come a long long way. I only think it's high time to spill my guts---because you deserve the truth. I wish you all the best----from my heart and soul. And I'll see you around---just not responding to any crisis. Please don't take this personal----but I believe it will eventually help more that hurt by not enabling this behavior. I hope we meet some day so I can tell you in person how swell I think you are------maybe a future babble convention? goodbye and best wishes.
Posted by Kath on August 3, 2009, at 20:56:49
In reply to Should I do this?, posted by Deneb on July 25, 2009, at 17:38:52
Hi Deneb,
Just reading this now.
I'm impressed with the responses you got.
I hear that sometimes you feel AWFULLLLLLLLLLL. I can relate. If I'm feeling awful, it's usually a panic/frantic/helpless/scared type of feeling (unless it's curled up in fetal position & paralyzed type - which usually happens in the winter & I suspect is part of SAD).
I have an idea & don't know if it might help, so I'm mentioning it anyway. I'm also going to relate something that happened to me during a counselling session that helped me understand what works for me to calm myself down when I'm SUPER stressed about something. Actually, I'll tell that first.
I was at the counsellor's. She has bio-feedback machines. I was hooked up to them & my body-reactions were showing on the computer screen. She wanted me to get feeling upset, so that I could SEE what the waves looked like on the screen when I was upset, so that she could work on some methods of feeling LESS upset & so that the difference was noticeable enough on the screen.
So - I said, okay, I'll tell you about something REALLY upsetting & I'll tell you in great detail. So I did. I started talking about it & told how I'd felt & what had happened & all the details. So the waves on screen started to change quite noticeably.....BUT they were changing to waves that indicated getting CALMER!!!
She said, "Look at that!! You've calmed yourself right down by TELLING about it!!!! What great information for you - you calm down by talking in detail about things that upset you! This can be very useful information for you."
I had assumed I'd get upset, but the opposite happened.
What I'm wondering Deneb, is if it really helps you to type about how you're feeling....to have the thoughts, think about them, and type them out. I wonder if you had a special file or area on your computer where you could type out what you'd normally type in a post. In fact, you could even go into more detail, since your wouldn't have to worry about triggers etc.
I'm not suggesting that you don't seek out someone to connect with at those times. I think IRL people would be best. I can't remember your experience with phone-help-lines. Where I live, we have 310-COPE, a 24/7 phone-in help centre. I've phoned them numerous times. Some workers are better suited to me than others.
Anyway, I thought I'd mention my experience and my idea.
As to your original question, if someone posts that they're feeling dreadful & not doing well, I take it seriously & am concerned about them & to some extent, feel stressed. Sometimes I reach out & sometimes I can't; it's too much for me.
I always appreciate having a follow-up as to how the person is doing. Even if I haven't replied to their post.When you're feeling really bad, I wonder if it always takes about the same amount of time for you to get feeling better? What time ranges does it take to feel better? Also, I'm wondering if there is anything in particular that you think helps you get feeling better?
:-)) Kath
Posted by Deneb on August 4, 2009, at 15:57:23
In reply to An alternative choice? Maybe this would work. » Deneb, posted by Kath on August 3, 2009, at 20:56:49
Thanks for the suggestion Kath, that is a great idea. I actually started a LiveJournal online. It's an online dairy type service. You can set it up to be as public or private as you want. I'm thinking of writing things there.
The time it takes to feel better really depends on the situation. I think I feel worse and worse when people start feeling upset. I feel better once people are OK again. I feel especially bad when people feel angry or reject me.
Once people like me again I am usually OK. The bad thing that happens is that the more upset I get, the more I seem to act out and this makes others more upset, which makes me even more upset. It's a vicious cycle.
Posted by Kath on August 4, 2009, at 17:18:02
In reply to Re: An alternative choice? Maybe this would work. » Kath, posted by Deneb on August 4, 2009, at 15:57:23
Hi Deneb,
The online journal sounds like a good way for you to be able to type about how you feel, etc & maybe get around some of the problems that posting when you're really upset can sometimes result in. (I'm not saying you shouldn't post then; just seeing it as an option.)I can't think how to word this so that it won't sound condescending. So I'll just say it & I'm not meaning it to sound like I'm talking down to you, okay? I'm impressed at how much you've developed in a positive direction since I've been here over the past few years. I'm impressed with how you seem to have quite a good understanding about lots of things about yourself.
I think probably most people operate from different places.......sometimes we're operating from a more mature adult place; sometimes needy child; sometimes rebellious child, etc. I see you operating way more frequently from a mature adult place than when I was first here. This has been the case for a long time, really.
Way ta go.
love, Kath
This is the end of the thread.
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