Psycho-Babble Social Thread 858872

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Ordinary people will never know what it's like

Posted by HyperFocus on October 22, 2008, at 21:47:25

Today my best friend tells me I would feel so much better if I ate more fresh fruit and veg and exercised more.
...
...
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I felt amazing lonely after she said that. I realized that nobody's ever going to know what having depression is like. I would love to eat fruit for breakfast. I would love to workout. I would love to just wake up one day and not have to sleepwalk through life, feeling like I've got a thousand-pound chain wrapped around me. It would be so good to be able to do normal things like go to the market or gym without being paralysed with anxiety.

I feel so bloody angry when people tell give me their 'think positive' speech. Do I look stupid? Don't you think if it were possible for me to do these things I would do them?. I know they mean well but still, it ticks me off so much when people trivialize my illness. And this coming from a person who I trust so much.

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » HyperFocus

Posted by Phil on October 22, 2008, at 22:29:06

In reply to Ordinary people will never know what it's like, posted by HyperFocus on October 22, 2008, at 21:47:25

Tell her to read "The Noonday Demon". That ought to shut her up for a while...and educate her.
Some people prefer to be stupid though.

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like

Posted by Sigismund on October 23, 2008, at 2:11:27

In reply to Ordinary people will never know what it's like, posted by HyperFocus on October 22, 2008, at 21:47:25

Kierkegaard's uncle said something to him to the effect that
'All you need to do Soren, is to stand up straight, pull your shoulders back and your sickness will be over'.

People have been saying this sort of thing forever, and I can't blame them because I could never have imagined depression had I not seen it and felt it.

But it's not an either/or thing.

Those who suffer from depression have excellent reasons to look after themselves really well, which is (admittedly) bloody difficult.

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » HyperFocus

Posted by seldomseen on October 23, 2008, at 5:41:04

In reply to Ordinary people will never know what it's like, posted by HyperFocus on October 22, 2008, at 21:47:25

Yeah I know, it's like telling a paraplegic that they would feel a lot better if they would just get up and walk.

A paraplegic can't walk anymore than a depressed person can just "snap out of it".

That's a lesson I myself had to learn even though I acutely know the sequlae of major depression. The disease itself robs you of the desire/will/ability to get better. It's insidious and can be fatal. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Although we do have to fight it. We do have to walk with that chain.

There are a lot of people here with you in that fight.

I'm glad you posted.

Take care.

Seldom

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like

Posted by manic666 on October 23, 2008, at 12:12:29

In reply to Ordinary people will never know what it's like, posted by HyperFocus on October 22, 2008, at 21:47:25

its a classic from the normals ,PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, ye ok i will do that now, its a bummer comming from someone you no, we are special but ill. just say swap lives for a day PLEASE. MANIC666

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like

Posted by Phillipa on October 23, 2008, at 12:51:50

In reply to Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like, posted by manic666 on October 23, 2008, at 12:12:29

I love the talk shows that say "if you had a million dollars what would you buy?" Well they want cars houses etc. Me I want me back I loved the old me. This me isn't me I wonder who this person in the mirror is she looks okay acts okay but doesn't feel okay. Phillipa

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » HyperFocus

Posted by Kath on October 24, 2008, at 20:10:17

In reply to Ordinary people will never know what it's like, posted by HyperFocus on October 22, 2008, at 21:47:25

That must have REALLY hurt.

I go to Group Therapy. I also sometimes see a therapist through my husband's EAP (employee assistance plan). I also sometimes see my son's 'caseworker' at the Mental Health Association - she's also our family worker.

I do these things so that I can cope. So that I can keep from panicking bigtime or spiralling down into immobility bigtime.

My friend, who I work with on a few housecleaning jobs has been known to say to me something like:

"Well Kath, if you'd stop spending your time going here & there to appointments all the time to talk about this, and come out for walks with me, you'd be far better off!"

And she's someone who's HAD depression! Actually, when I now read that quote & see the word 'friend' 2 lines up, I have to reassess that!

I can relate when you said you felt lonely. And lonely does NOT feel nice.

(((((((((((you))))))))))

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Kath

Posted by Phillipa on October 24, 2008, at 20:31:53

In reply to Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » HyperFocus, posted by Kath on October 24, 2008, at 20:10:17

Kath how did it go away for her? Seriously Love Phillipa

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Phillipa

Posted by Kath on October 24, 2008, at 20:46:06

In reply to Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Kath, posted by Phillipa on October 24, 2008, at 20:31:53

> Kath how did it go away for her? Seriously Love Phillipa

You mean her depression? Well she took antidepressants, then was off, then on again, - Most recent time she tried to go off she got BIG panic attacks.

When she said she's experienced depression, she was referring to being REALLY down & not able to get herself to do anything, etc. Hence she has this big thing about "Get OUT of your house!! Come for a walk with me" etc. (She has a dog; likes to walk him in local forests; is afraid to go alone therefore likes ME to go with her). :-)

Kath

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Kath

Posted by Phillipa on October 24, 2008, at 21:42:47

In reply to Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Phillipa, posted by Kath on October 24, 2008, at 20:46:06

Sounds like me and advise given if you have time could you give a bit of antidepressant med history on your friend you know how to get me. Thanks I need help. Phillipa

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Phillipa

Posted by Kath on October 26, 2008, at 20:34:50

In reply to Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Kath, posted by Phillipa on October 24, 2008, at 21:42:47

Don't know what her first one was. I'll try to remember to ask her.

The one this time & last time is Celexa.

xoxo Kath

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Kath

Posted by Phillipa on October 26, 2008, at 20:59:33

In reply to Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Phillipa, posted by Kath on October 26, 2008, at 20:34:50

Kath seems like a popular one in Canada. BTW the joke was hysterical!!!! Love Phillipa

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Phillipa

Posted by Kath on October 26, 2008, at 21:03:05

In reply to Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Kath, posted by Phillipa on October 26, 2008, at 20:59:33

You mean Celexa is popular in Canada?

It really messed up my memory bigtime & now my friend is noticing big problems with HER memory.

I haven't figured out how to send 'visual' jokes to PB. Do you know?

hugs, Kath

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Kath

Posted by Phillipa on October 27, 2008, at 19:15:16

In reply to Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Phillipa, posted by Kath on October 26, 2008, at 21:03:05

Kath sorry don't know and that's interesting about the celexa so what is your friend planning on doing? Love Phillipa

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Phillipa

Posted by Kath on October 27, 2008, at 19:19:55

In reply to Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Kath, posted by Phillipa on October 27, 2008, at 19:15:16

I don't know. K

 

Are you feeling any better? » HyperFocus

Posted by Kath on October 27, 2008, at 19:21:12

In reply to Ordinary people will never know what it's like, posted by HyperFocus on October 22, 2008, at 21:47:25

Just wondering how you're doing.

:-) Kath

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Kath

Posted by Phillipa on October 27, 2008, at 19:56:08

In reply to Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Phillipa, posted by Kath on October 27, 2008, at 19:19:55

Kath how are things going with you better? Love Phillipa

 

Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Phillipa

Posted by Kath on October 27, 2008, at 20:05:28

In reply to Re: Ordinary people will never know what it's like » Kath, posted by Phillipa on October 27, 2008, at 19:56:08

> Kath how are things going with you better? Love Phillipa

~ ~ ~ Hi Phillipa - let's start a separate thread, okay? I feel a bit uncomfortable taking this 'thread' off-topic.

I'll start another one

xoxo Kath

 

Re: Are you feeling any better? » Kath

Posted by HyperFocus on October 30, 2008, at 11:17:54

In reply to Are you feeling any better? » HyperFocus, posted by Kath on October 27, 2008, at 19:21:12

Well with the regard to the topic at hand I don't know if I can do better. It's just one of those things I have to accept. My other really good friend was telling me stuff last night like I shouldn't be so hard on myself and so on. She means well so what can I say? If they could walk in my shoes for a day they would probably understand what I have to deal with. But that's impossible.

But even though they make me mad sometimes, I'm still eternally grateful for these true-blue friends I have. I don't know where I'd be without them.

HF

> Just wondering how you're doing.
>
> :-) Kath

 

Re: Are you feeling any better? » HyperFocus

Posted by Kath on October 30, 2008, at 21:05:00

In reply to Re: Are you feeling any better? » Kath, posted by HyperFocus on October 30, 2008, at 11:17:54

I'm really glad you have these true friends.

:-) Kath


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