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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fayeroe on September 14, 2008, at 14:08:18
Make sure your pets read this.
TAPE THIS LOW ON THE REFRIGERATOR DOOR
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the
middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food
and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me
to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
faster than you can run.I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It
is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and
having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but
sarcasm!For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some
miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under
the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door
I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or
feline attendance is not required.The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
Rather than the other way around. I cannot stress this enough!To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is
short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a 'gazillion' dollars for college.And finally,
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
Posted by TexasChic on September 14, 2008, at 16:26:39
In reply to For Pet Lovers....., posted by fayeroe on September 14, 2008, at 14:08:18
Awesome! If I ever get my printer hooked up, I will definitely print that out and hang it on the fridge (low). I may have to add, "I don't set down a glass of water because I thought you might want a drink" and "I don't put freshly laundered clothes on the couch for you to make a nice comfy bed out of".
BTW, buying a printer and then not hooking it up for a year or more is normal, right?
-T
Posted by Poet on September 14, 2008, at 18:37:54
In reply to For Pet Lovers....., posted by fayeroe on September 14, 2008, at 14:08:18
I printed it and it's on the refrigerator. I don't know if they will read it, but the paper chewer will at least leave bit marks.
One of my cats plays with wine corks (hmm, wonder who the wino is, oh wait, me) and she leaves them on the basement stairs or right at the bottom. And how did the accident occur? I skidded on a wine cork. Yeah, that'll have them laughing in the E.R.
Poet
Posted by Phillipa on September 15, 2008, at 0:29:16
In reply to Re: For Pet Lovers....., posted by Poet on September 14, 2008, at 18:37:54
Well at least I'll learn if they can read. Phillipa
Posted by manic666 on September 15, 2008, at 4:51:17
In reply to Re: For Pet Lovers....., posted by Phillipa on September 15, 2008, at 0:29:16
fayeroe. both my rat killing bitches would die for me but the dont tell jokes, shame
Posted by Phillipa on September 15, 2008, at 19:56:06
In reply to Re: For Pet Lovers....., posted by manic666 on September 15, 2008, at 4:51:17
Manic666 you must have seen the message from Dr. Bob that he also likes to see humor just keep it clean as you have. Love Phillipa
Posted by manic666 on September 16, 2008, at 6:36:19
In reply to Re: For Pet Lovers..... » manic666, posted by Phillipa on September 15, 2008, at 19:56:06
your right teacher, i forget the different wording in u . s i think you no a was refering to my two lady patterdale terrier dogs.you will have to translate sometimes as i will to manic666
Posted by fayeroe on September 16, 2008, at 14:57:33
In reply to Re: For Pet Lovers..... » fayeroe, posted by TexasChic on September 14, 2008, at 16:26:39
> Awesome! If I ever get my printer hooked up, I will definitely print that out and hang it on the fridge (low). I may have to add, "I don't set down a glass of water because I thought you might want a drink" and "I don't put freshly laundered clothes on the couch for you to make a nice comfy bed out of".
>
> BTW, buying a printer and then not hooking it up for a year or more is normal, right?
>
> -TTC, I should have added "just because you can reach my iced coffee, doesn't mean that you're invited to slurp it up. (at least I drink decaf)
If having your printer for ages and not hooking it up is your deal, then not getting my computer fixed because it's too hard to deal with people....we're cool.
Posted by fayeroe on September 16, 2008, at 14:57:38
In reply to Re: For Pet Lovers..... » fayeroe, posted by TexasChic on September 14, 2008, at 16:26:39
> Awesome! If I ever get my printer hooked up, I will definitely print that out and hang it on the fridge (low). I may have to add, "I don't set down a glass of water because I thought you might want a drink" and "I don't put freshly laundered clothes on the couch for you to make a nice comfy bed out of".
>
> BTW, buying a printer and then not hooking it up for a year or more is normal, right?
>
> -TTC, I should have added "just because you can reach my iced coffee, doesn't mean that you're invited to slurp it up. (at least I drink decaf)
If having your printer for ages and not hooking it up is your deal, then not getting my computer fixed because it's too hard to deal with people....we're cool.
Posted by TexasChic on September 18, 2008, at 17:29:24
In reply to Re: For Pet Lovers....., posted by fayeroe on September 16, 2008, at 14:57:38
> TC, I should have added "just because you can reach my iced coffee, doesn't mean that you're invited to slurp it up. (at least I drink decaf)
>
> If having your printer for ages and not hooking it up is your deal, then not getting my computer fixed because it's too hard to deal with people....we're cool.My cat has drank my coffee too, and my wine, and pretty much anything else. I guess he figures if I'm drinking it he should be too!
-T
Posted by fayeroe on September 19, 2008, at 16:54:44
In reply to Re: For Pet Lovers..... » fayeroe, posted by TexasChic on September 18, 2008, at 17:29:24
They sure know how to get around the rules, don't they? Pat
This is the end of the thread.
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