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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 72 to 96 of 157. Go back in thread:
Posted by TexasChic on July 20, 2008, at 20:12:09
In reply to Re: New T was great! » Kath, posted by TexasChic on July 19, 2008, at 21:52:50
I debated over it all weekend. I considered creative writing, humor, all sorts of things to stand out. I finally decided on a very confident description of my background and my love of art, using the thesaurus quite often. I think it turned out pretty good. So we'll see what happens! And if this isn't the one, well, now my eyes are opened to the fact that there is bigger and better out there and I would be really rather stupid to stay where I am. In fact, now I can't believe I stayed so long! But what can I say, I'm not a quitter, and I don't back down from a challenge. This is in spite of fact that people are always calling me 'timid'. I really hate that word.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on July 20, 2008, at 20:55:29
In reply to I sent my reply for the job at the University, posted by TexasChic on July 20, 2008, at 20:12:09
Another coworker told me that rudegirl had told her I was getting written up and was asking if she knew anything about it. I had told my bosses boss by email when the first person told me about it, but since he never replied to me, and has since changed his tune about all the support he was supposed to have given me, I'm going to make a complaint to her supervisor. I'm so sick of her (rudegirl) and don't look forward to her flaunting the knowledge of my write up in my face.
I am also going to ask my pdoc for a written diagnoses of my ADD. The HR lady said if I bring one in, with what sort of accommodations I need, they have to honor it as long as it doesn't cause undue hardship to the company. I may not have the desire to work things out anymore, but I can try to make things better for myself while I'm there. Plus, my new T said that this would be a good thing to use to practice standing up for myself.
Man, if I can just get moved away from rudegirl, whose loud abrasive voice actually hurts my ears, it would be worth it. She's been on vacation all last week and will be out all this next week, so it has been so nice and quiet! Even getting written up didn't spoil that pleasure!
-T
Posted by Kath on July 21, 2008, at 20:08:05
In reply to Re: 90 Days to get another job » Kath, posted by TexasChic on July 19, 2008, at 21:45:33
> There is a lady at work who has been standing by me and listening when I need it. She holds the same position as I do, and she and the other lady in that position have been very supportive all along. They are both very assertive and get angry at how my boss treats me. I have tried to keep it all to myself and not discuss it amongst the other employees, but they witness things and come to me and try to help. They've also been the most trustworthy if not the closest friends I've made there. I have also talked to my mom about it lately. She is not much help advice wise, but she will listen and comiserate.
*****so glad to hear this! I find it helps me a lot to be able to talk about things (IF I have the emotional energy!)luv, Kath
Posted by TexasChic on July 21, 2008, at 20:11:57
In reply to I think I forgot to tell yall this, posted by TexasChic on July 20, 2008, at 20:55:29
...and asked about getting a written diagnosis for the ADD stuff. I also asked if it was possible to get a note to allow me to get some time off work for stress. They made an appointment for very early tomorrow morning, so we'll see how its goes.
I seem to be okay until my boss jumps on me for something and then I just fall apart. It doesn't help that she seems to be searching for things that I'm doing wrong. This morning I was so upset I almost just got up and ran out. I really don't know if time off will help, but while I was so upset today I found it impossible to work. Maybe it would at least show how serious things are if a doctor excuses me from work for a few days.
I don't know, this whole thing has just been too much for me. And to now feel like I'm under constant scrutiny, and know my boss has no problem with twisting the truth to make me look bad, I just don't know if I can take it. I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown, even though I know that technically that's not a real medical condition.
-T
Posted by Kath on July 21, 2008, at 20:12:04
In reply to I sent my reply for the job at the University, posted by TexasChic on July 20, 2008, at 20:12:09
BEST of luck!
I'm glad to hear you sounding so positive.
You must be pretty darned resilient to bounce back after being HIT repeatedly recently.
luv, Kath
Posted by TexasChic on July 21, 2008, at 20:17:17
In reply to Re: I sent my reply for the job at the University » TexasChic, posted by Kath on July 21, 2008, at 20:12:04
You and I are always cross posting.
I guess I've bounced back to the other direction. I am still positive about finding another job, what gets me down is to continue to put up with the crap that I have to.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on July 21, 2008, at 20:18:50
In reply to Re: I sent my reply for the job at the University » TexasChic, posted by Kath on July 21, 2008, at 20:12:04
I was actually in a good mood today until my boss started pulling her sh*t.
-T
Posted by Kath on July 21, 2008, at 20:32:54
In reply to Stopped by Pdoc at lunch..., posted by TexasChic on July 21, 2008, at 20:11:57
so sorry TC.
I would have thought that a nervous breakdown WAS a medical condition!
This is SO shocking to me - that such bullying can go on in a professional setting.
Does HR know about her lie about your 45 minutes writing a 'personal' email? I think you said they did.
I send you loving support & wish there were more I could do.
luv, Kath
Posted by TexasChic on July 21, 2008, at 20:50:35
In reply to Re: Stopped by Pdoc at lunch... » TexasChic, posted by Kath on July 21, 2008, at 20:32:54
> so sorry TC.
>
> I would have thought that a nervous breakdown WAS a medical condition!I only know because I looked it up to see if I was having one. Apparently its not technically a real thing. You can have a psychotic break, or I'm sure multiple other things that are similar, but apparently in the medical world the term nervous breakdown is meaningless.
> I send you loving support & wish there were more I could do.Its more helpful than you know. Thanks.
-T
Posted by Kath on July 21, 2008, at 21:08:57
In reply to Re: I sent my reply for the job at the University, posted by TexasChic on July 21, 2008, at 20:17:17
It would get me down also.
I used to find it the very HARDEST to bear staying at a job once I'd decided to leave. I think for you to have to stay there once you've sort of come to be thinking seriously of actually leaving will be very hard.
Please be nice to yourself in other ways, okay? Like bubble baths, or whatever makes you feel good.
Damn & double-damn that I don't live near ya.
luv, Kath
Posted by llurpsienoodle on July 22, 2008, at 6:25:20
In reply to Re: I sent my reply for the job at the University » TexasChic, posted by Kath on July 21, 2008, at 21:08:57
Tex,
I think that nervous breakdown can be replaced byacute psychiatric crisis
No, I don't think it has a DSM-IV code, but still-- it's nothing that a pdoc is unfamiliar with.
I wish you the best of luck in your new job hunt. I'll be thinking of you. Remember 2 steps forward, one step back. You can do this-- extricate yourself from the BOSS. ugh.
take care
-Ll
Posted by TexasChic on July 22, 2008, at 9:45:02
In reply to Re: I sent my reply for the job at the University » TexasChic, posted by Kath on July 21, 2008, at 21:08:57
Thanks Kath and lurpsie. Your support means a lot to me.
Well I went to the pdoc, and the good news is I'm off until Monday under a doctor's care. The bad news is she didn't want to write anything about the ADD because she said they may just turn around and fire me. Apparently that happened to someone they were treating. The employer actually put it in writing that they were firing her because the ADD was interfering with her job. She said an extended leave may result in the same thing, which is why she gave me a little less than a week. That way it isn't considered a leave of absence or something like that.
The HR lady asked if I think it will be any different when I return on Monday, and I told her while I'm off I'm going to be trying out a new med (Extended Release Xanax) and the doc wants to see how it effects me, which is part of the reason for the time off. She seems very satisfied with that, as if she were thinking, okay, the boss won't be able to challenge that.
I just know my boss is going to be SO pissed. She's out of town today and tomorrow. The HR lady said I should call and leave her a voice mail explaining I'll be out all week, but the phone lines were down, so she volunteered to send an email for me. I told her my boss was going to be mad and probably call and yell at me, and she said to call her if that happens (although she seems rather unsympathetic about everything). The problem is, there will be a couple of projects that someone will have to finish up for me, so I'll have to be contacted to be able to explain it to someone.
I keep being afraid I'll get fired, but the HR lady said my boss could not fire me without it going through HR and a bunch of different processes. But since I got written up for manufactured reasons, I don't trust the system very much.
Well, I'm going to lay down, tomorrow I think I'll try that placement agency again. At least maybe I can get something temporary while I'm looking for something permanent. And a lot of those jobs are temp to perm, so if they like you they may keep you. But I think there is a whole lot of competition for those jobs and it can be difficult. Even when I talked to the lady about it she said they always tell people not to rely on only them for jobs. Anyway, I'm babbling now (no pun intended) so I'm going to go lay down. I'll talk to yall later.
-T
Posted by Partlycloudy on July 22, 2008, at 10:08:40
In reply to Pdoc visit, posted by TexasChic on July 22, 2008, at 9:45:02
Sending you my support too. When my pdoc put me on leave it did help me, short term. Let me regroup a bit. I hope this does the same for you.
Take care, sweetie.
Partly
Posted by Kath on July 22, 2008, at 19:01:39
In reply to Pdoc visit, posted by TexasChic on July 22, 2008, at 9:45:02
That sounds like good advice about the ADD, I think. I had a 'twinge' about it before, that I didn't pay any attention to & when you mentioned it, I realized I'd been concerned that they might use it against you.
I'm glad you were able to be so open with the HR lady. She sounds fair. But what's the saying - 'once bitten, twice shy' - I can see how you'd not trust anything.
Know that you're in my thoughts.
:-) luv, Kath
Posted by TexasChic on July 22, 2008, at 19:46:31
In reply to Re: Pdoc visit » TexasChic, posted by Partlycloudy on July 22, 2008, at 10:08:40
> Sending you my support too. When my pdoc put me on leave it did help me, short term. Let me regroup a bit. I hope this does the same for you.
>
> Take care, sweetie.
> PartlyI think it will be helpful for me too, my only concern is my boss having an attitude about it when I return (or calling me with an attitude within the next couple of days). But I guess if I'm to be honest, she can't really do much worse to me than she has already. Hopefully I will be able to return with renewed strength ready to fact all the crap that's going to thrown at me, at least until I get out of there.
There's a couple of things I keep thinking to myself that kind of help out. The first is directed at my coworker who is standing by watching all this go on when she knows its wrong and knows she could step in a make a difference. To her I say, "When this is over, I will have a clean conscious and know I did the very best I could, and I will get a fresh start. YOU however, will have to live with what you've done, and your prize will be to have Psychoboss ALL TO YOURSELF!"
To my boss I say, "You have no idea how much everyone dislikes you, or has so little respect for you. You are one crazy *ss bitch who must be terribly unhappy inside - its gotta suck to be you".
I think it may be time to rewatch "Office Space".
-T
Posted by TexasChic on July 22, 2008, at 21:14:34
In reply to Re: Pdoc visit » TexasChic, posted by Kath on July 22, 2008, at 19:01:39
> That sounds like good advice about the ADD, I think. I had a 'twinge' about it before, that I didn't pay any attention to & when you mentioned it, I realized I'd been concerned that they might use it against you.
That's the thing, its legally a disability and illegal for them to use it against me. And my HR lady is the one who suggested it saying then my boss would have to accommodate me. I tried to explain what the doctor said, but it was like talking in circles. She just kept saying, "But how do we know how we could accommodate you without the doctor writing us a note about it?"
> I'm glad you were able to be so open with the HR lady. She sounds fair. But what's the saying - 'once bitten, twice shy' - I can see how you'd not trust anything.
Well, I don't know if its that I'm able to be open with her so much as I'm at my wits end and just saying it like it is. Ever since our first meeting, when she seemed somewhat compassionate, she is now very indifferent and standoffish. So who knows what's going on. I've got to get back into the job hunting game and try to remember how pathetic and ridiculous these people I work with are.
-T
Posted by maree on July 23, 2008, at 0:48:51
In reply to Re: Bullies » TexasChic, posted by Dinah on July 10, 2008, at 12:06:55
This is probably an aside, but I have always thought that bullies tend to be people who are very insecure in their own position, whether at work, socially, whatever.
They seem to think that the more people they push down beneath them, the higher they rise. So if they see someone who they think they can dominate, then they go for it, as a special project.
I was bullied at school, in my mid twenties, at one place of work; and now, that I am disabled, I attract bullies wherever I go. I have never been someone who is popular, so nobody has ever bothered to stand up for me, nor do I have much self confidence, particularly not now. I am a prime target for a bully, because there is no way that I can hurt them, this turning the other cheek thing, ignoring them, certainly does not work, it just encourages them to double their efforts.
Posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:02:55
In reply to Re: Bullies, posted by maree on July 23, 2008, at 0:48:51
> This is probably an aside, but I have always thought that bullies tend to be people who are very insecure in their own position, whether at work, socially, whatever.
> They seem to think that the more people they push down beneath them, the higher they rise. So if they see someone who they think they can dominate, then they go for it, as a special project.From what I've read, that is exactly the case. They usually pick on people that are intelligent and do well at their job.
> I was bullied at school, in my mid twenties, at one place of work; and now, that I am disabled, I attract bullies wherever I go. I have never been someone who is popular, so nobody has ever bothered to stand up for me, nor do I have much self confidence, particularly not now.
Wow, I'm sorry you've had to experience that, I can certainly empathize with you. But one thing I've found out is, even when you do have 'friends', these people usually desert you when the bullying starts. At least that's been a continuous pattern for me. I'm sure that's in no small part due to the fact that if you stick up for someone else being bullied, then they turn on you (that's happened to me too).
>I am a prime target for a bully, because there is no way that I can hurt them, this turning the other cheek thing, ignoring them, certainly does not work, it just encourages them to double their efforts.
I agree wholeheartedly with that. Not that I would suggest a full on fist fight, but when you ignore them, which is exactly how I handle it, they seem to thrive on it.
Thanks for writing, I don't know if I've ever spoken with you or not, I have a hard time remembering all the babble names, but I appreciate your input.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:14:29
In reply to Re: Bullies, posted by maree on July 23, 2008, at 0:48:51
I have an appointment on Friday. Yea! I haven't had the best of luck with these places in the past, but at least its a step forward. Besides, its been many years since I've tried one, so things very well may have improved since then.
I also called back the guy who called me for an interview about a month ago, but I waited about two weeks to call him back because I was intimidated by the Managerial title of the job. When I called two weeks ago he wasn't in, so I left a message. Today he wasn't in either, but I left a more detail message and told him I'd been trying to get a hold of him without success. I've seen the job still being advertised so I know its still available.
So there you go, baby steps. And I have to admit, when I was on the phone, even though I felt nervous, I was able to speak intelligently and not go blank on what I wanted to say. So whether or not its the ADD med or the ER Xanax I don't know, but it was a good feeling to actually be able to express what's in my head without mumbling and stumbling and long pauses, and saying "ummm" a lot.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:18:52
In reply to Called the placement agency, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:14:29
Posted by Partlycloudy on July 23, 2008, at 14:55:46
In reply to Called the placement agency, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:14:29
Great to see you going forward - these aren't baby steps at all, but leaps and bounds. I'm glad the medication is doing its job; that's what it's there for.
Partlycloudy
Posted by Kath on July 23, 2008, at 15:01:20
In reply to Re: Bullies » maree, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:02:55
I think bullies need to be stood up to in order to stop.
I haven't had to deal with many, but those I have - when they're stood up to, it's almost like they recognize 'one of their own' & know they can't continue to bully.
Maybe it doesn't always work.
Kath
Posted by Kath on July 23, 2008, at 15:03:08
In reply to Called the placement agency, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:14:29
> I have an appointment on Friday. Yea! I haven't had the best of luck with these places in the past, but at least its a step forward. Besides, its been many years since I've tried one, so things very well may have improved since then.
>
> I also called back the guy who called me for an interview about a month ago, but I waited about two weeks to call him back because I was intimidated by the Managerial title of the job. When I called two weeks ago he wasn't in, so I left a message. Today he wasn't in either, but I left a more detail message and told him I'd been trying to get a hold of him without success. I've seen the job still being advertised so I know its still available.
>
> So there you go, baby steps. And I have to admit, when I was on the phone, even though I felt nervous, I was able to speak intelligently and not go blank on what I wanted to say. So whether or not its the ADD med or the ER Xanax I don't know, but it was a good feeling to actually be able to express what's in my head without mumbling and stumbling and long pauses, and saying "ummm" a lot.
>
> -Tthat's wonderful TC. luv, Kath
Posted by Kath on July 23, 2008, at 15:06:24
In reply to P.S. My boss hasn't called yet - I'm a bit worried (nm), posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:18:52
Maybe she won't
If she does, maybe you can imagine something like:
HEY! You're on MY turf now, baby. You hold no power over me.
I don't know if something like that would help.
Maybe even take it to the extent of pretending that you don't have to say ANYthing to her or answer ANY of her questions & take a deep breath after she speaks & before you do.
luv, Kath best of luck.
PS - you don't need to furnish her with medical details. You can do a 'broken record' of "it's a medical issue" even, if she asks again or in a different way, "thanks for your concern, but it's a medical issue" & change the subject.
You might NOT want to say the 'thanks for your concern' part.K
Posted by Kath on July 23, 2008, at 15:07:36
In reply to Re: Pdoc visit » Partlycloudy, posted by TexasChic on July 22, 2008, at 19:46:31
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