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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Tabitha on April 19, 2008, at 23:05:49
Probably hardly anyone remembers me here. My boyfriend just broke off with me recently. I'm in terrible emotional pain. Called therapist, she called yesterday but I wan't in, I was over at his place, trying to talk him into staying (didn't work). Have been crying on and off all day. Insomnia for almost 2 weeks now, I'm bipolar II so the sleep disruption just wrecks my mood.
Thoughts of suicide much of today. I'm not in any immediate danger, but even having the thoughts scares me. It seems logical, that the pain of my existence outweighs the amount of happiness. I've done it all meds, therapy, support groups, self-help, still too miserable to justify a life.
I don't know what to do right now. Nobody to call but friends I haven't heard from for months, can't imagine calling with "hi, I'm having an emotional crisis", plus the best candidates are in the wrong time zone. Thinking of calling suicide hotline, but last time I tried, it didn't help at all.
It just feels unendurable, and endless. I know it isn't endless (right?) but it seems so unendurable, it doesn't matter whether it will end or not.
Can't imagine ever dating again. This has happened twice in a year. Yet I know the pain of being alone is also unendurable, just slower.
Posted by Phillipa on April 19, 2008, at 23:25:15
In reply to I'm scared and alone, posted by Tabitha on April 19, 2008, at 23:05:49
Tabitha I remember you. I'm so sorry about the break-up of you and your boyfriend. Are you all alone? Maybe try the suicide hotline again? I care. And others do too. Love Phillips please don't hurt yourself is there family to call what about an emergency call to pdoc?
Posted by Sigismund on April 19, 2008, at 23:30:42
In reply to I'm scared and alone, posted by Tabitha on April 19, 2008, at 23:05:49
When you are young (if you are) it seems endless, especially when it's as bad as you say.
Think of how some old people can live in the moment better, even though they feel physically so much worse than they did when young.
They can live in the moment better because they know they have very few moments left.>It seems logical, that the pain of my existence outweighs the amount of happiness.
Won't it always?
I don't want to be negative here, but I don't think people have ever kept living because they felt they enjoyed it more than the evenness of non-existence.>I've done it all meds, therapy, support groups, self-help, still too miserable to justify a life.
Yes.
Just don't feel unhappy that you are unhappy.
One lot of that is enough.I'm alone here too.
Just me and my dog, a really unsuitable dog for where we are.
Since Christmas it has rained every day with only a 6 week break.
Fungoid.
I have an allergy to moulds.
What I need less than I did when younger is other people.
That doesn't mean I'm not lonely.
That's why I'm here in part.
Posted by Tabitha on April 19, 2008, at 23:49:16
In reply to Re: I'm scared and alone » Tabitha, posted by Sigismund on April 19, 2008, at 23:30:42
I'm 45, but this feels as bad as it did at 22, or 17. Except then, I thought the pain meant I "had to have him to live". Now, Perspective tells me this is normal response to loss. Great.
It's nice you have a dog. If they made a poopless model I'd want one for myself.
Posted by Tabitha on April 19, 2008, at 23:51:30
In reply to Re: I'm scared and alone » Tabitha, posted by Phillipa on April 19, 2008, at 23:25:15
Phillipa, I won't hurt myself, at least not any more than drinking a little alcohol, and perhaps some internet postings I may regret later. It's always embarassing to find oneself so desperate.
Posted by zenhussy on April 20, 2008, at 4:28:19
In reply to I'm scared and alone, posted by Tabitha on April 19, 2008, at 23:05:49
Posted by Larry Hoover on April 20, 2008, at 8:48:32
In reply to I'm scared and alone, posted by Tabitha on April 19, 2008, at 23:05:49
I don't really know what to say, other than that you are indeed fondly remembered. And I like your idea of a poopless canine.
{{{{{{{Tabitha}}}}}}}} <--CyBearHug®
Lar
Posted by Angela2 on April 20, 2008, at 11:25:54
In reply to I'm scared and alone, posted by Tabitha on April 19, 2008, at 23:05:49
I remember you Tabitha! OK, I think that although we recover and get better, etc. We also are triggered by stressful situations and that is only natural. Please don't give up on finding help. ((((Tabitha)))) I hope posting here has helped. Do something good for yourself, something you enjoy or that you think will make you feel better.
Posted by Tabitha on April 20, 2008, at 16:05:49
In reply to Re: I'm scared and alone » Tabitha, posted by Larry Hoover on April 20, 2008, at 8:48:32
Dear Lar, nice trade-marked hug there, thanks. It's good to hear from you.
Posted by Tabitha on April 20, 2008, at 16:08:18
In reply to Re: I'm scared and alone, posted by Angela2 on April 20, 2008, at 11:25:54
Hi Angela, thanks, it's nicer to think of it that way. I was feeling like a failure for being back in this painful state again.
Posted by Dinah on April 20, 2008, at 19:09:29
In reply to I'm scared and alone, posted by Tabitha on April 19, 2008, at 23:05:49
(((Tabitha)))
I hate to mention anything so mundane, but do you have any meds on hand to help you get a good night's sleep? Pain and loss are bad enough as they are, but you need to keep yourself as physically well as possible.
Posted by Phillipa on April 20, 2008, at 19:09:33
In reply to Re: I'm scared and alone » Angela2, posted by Tabitha on April 20, 2008, at 16:08:18
For me the older I get the more alone I feel even with people around. Thank heavens for the computer. Keeps my mind occupied. Phillipa
Posted by Tabitha on April 20, 2008, at 20:48:07
In reply to Re: I'm scared and alone » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on April 20, 2008, at 19:09:29
Hello Dinah. It's nice to see you.
I don't have any proper sleep meds now, and Unisom + melatonin + beer wasn't working at all, but last night I finally slept from Benadryl + melatonins + vodka + three hour phonecall.
I think I've bottomed out and am bouncing back. Today I ate a whole sandwich. Talked to a friend without sounding crazy. Thoughts are more normal again.
I've lost 6 pounds in 2 weeks, unfortunately it's probably all just water and empty guts from not eating. A bit of weight loss would be a welcome breakup side effect.
Posted by Tabitha on April 20, 2008, at 20:49:39
In reply to Re: I'm scared and alone » Tabitha, posted by Phillipa on April 20, 2008, at 19:09:33
That's sad to hear, Phillipa. I keep hoping my human connection ability will improve in time. Maybe it has, but I'm not seeing any fruits right now.
Posted by Dinah on April 21, 2008, at 9:25:49
In reply to Re: I'm scared and alone » Dinah, posted by Tabitha on April 20, 2008, at 20:48:07
It's amazing what a bit of sleep will do. Maybe you could get a few meds just for that to keep on hand for emergencies.
It's really great to see you too, Tabitha. Although of course I wish the circumstances were different.
I know you know it's natural to grieve a lost relationship. And you seem to have a good perspective on that.
But I'm really sorry you are in a position to have to show such maturity of thinking. :(
When you feel up to it, I'd love to get caught up on the rest of your life.
Posted by slinky on April 23, 2008, at 20:57:14
In reply to I'm scared and alone, posted by Tabitha on April 19, 2008, at 23:05:49
Thinking of yo loads lately . hence my now stupid post further down the threads. I wasn't aware of your breakup.
I wish I were there with you to both of us get out of the misery.
I bet we'd be good buddys or the opposite..either way I'd help with your broken heart...I don't think mine's never been fully fixed I was born broken but I'm good at fixing.
I felt good vibes for you and this new man..but whatever happened sweetheart you remain Tabitha.
This GUY MUSTN'T OF BEEN RIGHT FOR YOU.sOrry about the CAPSLOCK...i'M TOO LAZY TOO CHANGE IT.
I'm in a very strange relationship and it's my drugs that make me accept it-- abusing benzos and others but no illeall stuff.
Do YOU LIVE NEAR fLORODA because I'm going next year??? DAMN capslock...and you such a computer genius also.
You CAN email me anytime -even you're darkest thoughts.
I'll Always be be here to help you and I will somehow.
Love and thoughts
Slinbky...the madest prescription junky...but loving.
Posted by Tabitha on April 24, 2008, at 12:11:48
In reply to Re: I'm scared and alone » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on April 21, 2008, at 9:25:49
Dear Dinah, I was scanning Social & Psychology before I posted to see what's up with you. You're not posting so much lately? Anyway I'd love to catch up either by babblemail or on the boards.
Posted by Tabitha on April 24, 2008, at 12:14:17
In reply to Re:TABITHA !!! I'm sorry i missed your post, posted by slinky on April 23, 2008, at 20:57:14
Ah dear slinky, even with caps lock you're still a sexy babe. Florida? What part?
What new relationship? Does he have a cute pot belly?
Posted by Dinah on April 24, 2008, at 19:58:51
In reply to Re: I'm scared and alone » Dinah, posted by Tabitha on April 24, 2008, at 12:11:48
Either will be great with me. :)
Although catching up with me is always pretty easy. Same old same old for as long as I can remember. Which is both good and bad, I guess.
Posted by slinky on April 28, 2008, at 14:14:51
In reply to Re:TABITHA !!! I'm sorry i missed your post » slinky, posted by Tabitha on April 24, 2008, at 12:14:17
> Ah dear slinky, even with caps lock you're still a sexy babe. Florida? What part?
Don't know yet.
> What new relationship? Does he have a cute pot belly?Skiny and a cross dresser...better legs and butt than me.... but ...I have t*ts that he longs for.
Strange & interesting but he says he loves me...but me being me I never believe that stuff.I NEED MORE POSITIVITY AND TRUST.
hE HAS MADE ME SO MUCH MORE FEMININE...I wear dresses with confidance and sexy boots.
I need to loose just a little weight then I can wear his clothes.
How long this will last???? everythings for some sweet cruel and zee learning reezon.
Loves you sweety-Cal-Girl.
This is the end of the thread.
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