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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by karen_kay on November 29, 2007, at 13:58:21
dissatisfaction? did i jsut make that up? well, i'm calling the people that make the dictionary and telling them to add it and give me my share of the royalties (and if it wasn't for my meds, i'd be able to tell you who makes dictionaries too! blasted meds! god, i wish i wasn't crazy! and while i'm wishing, i wish i wasn't here right now. and i wish i had one of those cool things william shatner had when he'd say 'beam me up scotty' then disappear to wherever the hell he went. i know, i wish a whole lot, but give me a break, i'm f*ck*ng nutzo!)
i'm missing people here. lots of them. and i know it's silly.
i'm becoming a hermit. i hate it. i can't help it. today, i did my hair. tried to tease it to oblivion. listened to ryan adams. made me miss people like crazy. really wanted to run away, like a child. i relly do feel like a child. did the dishes. yeah, i'm betty f*ck*ng crocker now. moved on to make-up. i think it's the plaid pants i'm wearing that's causing the madness to set in??
moved on to the curling iron. still listened to mister ryan adams. still missed people. still wanted to run away. still feeling guilty for never being satisfied. (is this the right board? this is social, even if i'm a hermit, damn it!!!)
so, i've got curled hair, plaid pants (that match EVERYTHING!!!), a runny nose, the best make-up ever and still this feeling of lonlieness that won't leave me.
so, back to missing people and this rant i'm on. i'm not happy. <pause> i take that back. i'm happy, i guess. i'm just not satisfied. i didn't sign up for this life.
somebody slap me. somebody tell me 'be happy with what you've got kiddo. that's life. if you don't like somethign then get off your *ss and do something about it, kiddo.'
somebody? hello?
and about missing people... anybody out there? 'come pick me up, take me out'. wait, that's a song i heard. i have to learn to seperate music from reality sometimes.
back to the kitchen to play betty crocker AGAIN! gosh, i hope she was hot when she was young....
Posted by caraher on November 29, 2007, at 14:52:32
In reply to missing people, dissatisfaction *rant triggers*, posted by karen_kay on November 29, 2007, at 13:58:21
Betty Crocker... I remember a syndicated columnist writing about his lust for the "new Betty" when they did a makeover in 1986. For some thoughts on Betty through the years see
http://news.minnesota.publicradio.org/features/2005/04/07_wurzerc_bettycrocker/
and
http://feministphilosophers.wordpress.com/2007/09/05/the-betty-crocker-puzzle/Not bad at all considering she's now in her 80s!
Anyway, sorry you feel so... dissatisfied. Interesting to think about the difference between satisfaction and happiness. I'm not really even sure happiness is something I really know how to think about. Satisfaction and dissatisfaction I know pretty well. Or do I? I guess I mean something more like relief when I think of satisfaction, as in reacting to success with "at least I didn't screw that up too badly" (relief) rather than thinking "I did a pretty good job" (satisfaction).
Posted by angela2 on November 29, 2007, at 15:02:15
In reply to missing people, dissatisfaction *rant triggers*, posted by karen_kay on November 29, 2007, at 13:58:21
I agree w/ caraher that Betty is Hot! Does anyone know what she looks like anyway? Karen_kay, I'm sorry you are feeling lonely. I know that feeling sucks. Maybe try to get in touch with someone you are missing?
angela2
Posted by rskontos on November 29, 2007, at 21:42:21
In reply to Re: missing people, dissatisfaction *rant triggers*, posted by angela2 on November 29, 2007, at 15:02:15
kk I am sorry you are in a funk. If you go to pyschology you can read my reasons for being back but it is long............probably the longest one of my life. I got into the christmas spirit, bought a santa versus a tree, I liked santa.
Betty might behot but you sure are! I saw your halloween photos!!!! I know you were bumming describing your outfit today but I started laughing. You should have joined me at super target where me and the cashier had our laughs about turkey days and the turkeys that visited aka relatives. (as i was restocking my dimished kitchen supplies).
I too am sorry you are lonely. Let me know next time you are chat during the day I will chat with you so you can get out of the kitchen and put your apron down awhile.
How's your son, are the neices recovered yet//hehehe......My son when he was younger loved to run away and discard his clothes. The neighbors were not too thrilled with that. Now that he is 15 he mainly keeps them on......thank god.
Well, I am having an unusually good day, my peeps are noisy but getting along and no emotional breakouts like yesterday. I hate when they do that. If this makes no sense remind me to explain, I forget if I explained on social. My space key on my keyboard is sticking and is very annoying.
Maybe a cyberhug is in order or a cyberdance....your call....
(((((((((kk)))))))))))))) or ************kk************take care,
rk
Posted by Phillipa on November 29, 2007, at 22:57:51
In reply to Re: missing people, dissatisfaction *rant trigger, posted by rskontos on November 29, 2007, at 21:42:21
Martha Stewart is the new Betty Crocker with more stress. Phillipa
Posted by karen_kay on December 1, 2007, at 9:23:22
In reply to Betty is hot!, posted by caraher on November 29, 2007, at 14:52:32
she's not bad!
and it's not that i feel like i do a bad job, or don't screw up too bad, i just don't..... i don't know???
i got out with my sister yesterday sans kid, so that helped. we realized together that we're weird. or maybe other people (men in our lives) are the weird ones.
god forbid, i actually thought about allowing my mother to come get me and take me away for the day (oh dear!!!).
maybe it's just cabin fever setting in already? but all these fears are starting to surface about my life: what i wanted it to be, what it is, what it isn't, betty crocker!!!! oh my!
i'm not designed to be a stay at home hermit and it's driving me insane (not to offend anyone who's insane :) i'm certianly insane for crying out loud!), but i'm starting to get stuck in this rut, and the hole's just getting deeper. and the resentment...
i can be very spiteful. it's my best quality!
tootles,
kk
Posted by karen_kay on December 1, 2007, at 9:24:55
In reply to Re: missing people, dissatisfaction *rant triggers*, posted by angela2 on November 29, 2007, at 15:02:15
i've actually gotten in touch with soem people, which has helped.
great advice!
thanks sweetie,
kk
Posted by karen_kay on December 1, 2007, at 9:32:46
In reply to Re: missing people, dissatisfaction *rant trigger, posted by rskontos on November 29, 2007, at 21:42:21
you should see my son dance! he really gets into it!!!! speaking of, he's freaking out, so i'll get back to you....
later, tator!
kk
Posted by rskontos on December 1, 2007, at 17:06:09
In reply to *************rk******* dance triggers » rskontos, posted by karen_kay on December 1, 2007, at 9:32:46
How old is he again. mine is 15 and a temper tantrum when they are that age just ain't pretty I tell him..........I love to dance. YOu should have seen me last night I got out of my big old suv and was dancing my fool head off the London's Bridge by Fergie and having a blast. It was almost midnight. i went to get my son but he wanted to spend the night....uh gee couldn't you call dear ole mom before she got there...anyhow I had fun rocking out to my new R&B tape I bought myself. My teen self and I like our newly discovered R&B and rappers that my son introduced us too. Hey they are doing some remixes from the 70's songs I like better than the orginial ones. So dancing in my pj in the driveway. Luckily I am in a new subdivision not a lot of neighbors to think I am crazy......LOL rk
and hey kk later tater to you too!
Posted by llurpsienoodle on December 3, 2007, at 19:02:37
In reply to Re: *************rk******* dance triggers, posted by rskontos on December 1, 2007, at 17:06:09
al dente
what's up kk?
how's our little elvis?
miss you too.
did you make me a cake as fast as you can?
-Ll
Posted by karen_kay on December 4, 2007, at 8:31:38
In reply to betty crocker's cooked this noodle, posted by llurpsienoodle on December 3, 2007, at 19:02:37
hey you!
i'm crazy, me thinks?
i'm sorry you were cooked in a pot of boiling water. not a good way to go. tell me it was with garlic and butter at least (not margarine!!!).
my family thinks i have a drug problem (did i already mention that? i do have a horrible memory, you know!!), causing my weight loss. although i pointed out just yesterday that my meds cause weight loss, my aunt fired back 'i take stupid max' yet she only takes 75 mgs and i'm at 400. doesn't help. it may help if i point out that my aunt is a pill head and she's kinda hefty? too bad i can hold my tongue, eh? :) (wait, sometimes i can't hold my tongue.... but i did on that occassion..)
and i found out that my mom pulled her hair out the same way i'm doing it. that's perfect.
finally had a chance to talk to mister kk last night. did i mention that was great too? (oh, this is a computer screen so sarcasm doesn't always come out so easily....)
at least i still have hope that hair doll i've made will sell big on ebay?
my son just walked in with coffee grounds on his face (how does he outsmart childproof cabinets?) and i can smell a nervous breakdown coming :)
speaking of coffee.... listened to my mother say 'duckie, do you want some coffee?' all morning yesterday while i watched in horror!!!! i limit chocolate. no caffiene. what's she thinking?
i swear, if i could eat cigarettes, i would. i have a feeling, i'd jsut be stuck on the cr*pp*r though, with a duck flushign the toilet and tears streaming down my face from the pain :)
other than that, i'm FANTASTIC!!!
and i made brownies. want some? and the roast was great.
later sweetie. i hope your sweater is turning out all sexified!
love to you,
kk
Posted by karen_kay on December 4, 2007, at 8:46:39
In reply to Re: *************rk******* dance triggers, posted by rskontos on December 1, 2007, at 17:06:09
he's lucky he's so cute or i'd be forced to use brute force :)
he's especially fussy lately. i'm convinced he's either teething or has some disease. possibly scurvy. and he really loves my old lady drinks, so i still give them to him. plus, he throws a fit if he sees me drinking them. (yeah, i'm a push-over!!)
we dance together a whole lot. he's got better moves than his mother! how pathetic is that?
it sounds like you and your kid have lots of fun together. it's not possible to ruin them at such a young age, right? i always worry about that, you know. i am rather weird.
ok, i think his coffee buzz is setting in. guess that's what i get for talking sh*t about my mother, aka the devil.
play time!!!
take care hun,
kk
Posted by llurpsienoodle on December 4, 2007, at 9:06:40
In reply to (((((li))) *smoking and hair tugging triggers* » llurpsienoodle, posted by karen_kay on December 4, 2007, at 8:31:38
(((k)))
sounds like you're having a really tough time right now. The weight loss thing is very difficult. Keep eating Clif Bars. that will help. Stop eating cigarettes. that might help too?
give ducky a big hug from me
the house is shuddering from high winds.
aldente with garlic butter sauce, of course.
better hide the coffee. you can keep it in the fridge or the freezer. you should hide your mom too! (somewhere besides the freezer tho!)
sorry things are so hard. Any plans to get off the topamax at this point? Abilify has helped me lots. What sayeth the pdoc?
-Ll
Posted by rskontos on December 4, 2007, at 9:57:14
In reply to (((((li))) *smoking and hair tugging triggers* » llurpsienoodle, posted by karen_kay on December 4, 2007, at 8:31:38
Wow, I am on 100 mg. of topamax and at 200 I was so stupid I couldnt remember any 4 letter words be them good ones or bad ones LOL. so I am not sure what I would be like on 400 probably wandering on a highway somewhere saying do I know you? cause I sure as heck don't know me......lol
And that my friend is the weight loss, 400 mg of topamax and you might wake up my friend as say where the kk? topamax is known for its appetite suppressant factors and then you cigs where you wont want food even if it looks like Brad Pritt and all of the Hollywood babes rolled up into one big stud package and served on a platter....
So you must eat. I remember when I started topamax I didn't eat for 2 weeks and I lost a huge amount of weight. Hey I think I am going up my topamax to lose the weight that stinking lexapro padded my midsection with. that stuff made my appetite for food go down but my cravings for sugar go UP.....and with it at least 10 lbs of flab!!!! so topamax to the rescue I always say. And hey maybe it will help with my moods. But I if you find me wandering on a highway saying who are you? put in the right direction...........or help me phone home..............tata for now....rk
Thanks so much LL and kk I realllllllllllly neede dto laugh this morning....rk
Posted by ClearSkies on December 4, 2007, at 12:06:01
In reply to (((((li))) *smoking and hair tugging triggers* » llurpsienoodle, posted by karen_kay on December 4, 2007, at 8:31:38
You could always add some Remeron into the drug mix to add some poundage. It's made me into a land-bound manatee (look that one up on Wikipedia, it's a local marine mammal that I resemble these days). Topamax made me lose some serious amounts of hair in addition to the weight AND brain power. But I didn't get any migraines while I was on it. So many things to trade in order to be sane - or safe, or however you want to call it.
You've got your hands full these days. KK, remember that you're precious to me and so many others!
hugs to you
ClearSkies
Posted by karen_kay on December 4, 2007, at 14:11:13
In reply to Re: (((((li))) *smoking and hair tugging triggers » karen_kay, posted by llurpsienoodle on December 4, 2007, at 9:06:40
i'm a liar.
i tell her 'i'm GREAT! i'm eating fine. everything's perfect. lower my klonopin.'
i don't want to be a 'problem client,' you know?
i'm weird like that.
sometimes, i fear, i like to pretend everythign'sgreat when it's jsut not.
that wishful thinking and positive atitude bs isn't always all it's cracked up to be.
and about switching meds: blechy! i'm a scardey cat.
i told you, i'm weird!
perhaps one day that weirdness will pay off?
see, there goes that wishful thinking again :)
my duck's trained to put my slippers on me, you know. he's quite the good boy. he's having problems right now, so away i go to play mommy duck.
thanks for listening everyone. it helps. really!!
Posted by llurpsienoodle on December 4, 2007, at 14:20:17
In reply to about the pdoc.... » llurpsienoodle, posted by karen_kay on December 4, 2007, at 14:11:13
> i'm a liar.
>
> i tell her 'i'm GREAT! i'm eating fine. everything's perfect. lower my klonopin.'
>
> i don't want to be a 'problem client,' you know?
>
> i'm weird like that.
>
> sometimes, i fear, i like to pretend everythign'sgreat when it's jsut not.
>You're being a "difficult patient" by not being honest. plus, I thought you liked challenging authority figures? your pdoc is there to help you. you can fire pdoc, you can send xmas rotten apples, etc. just be honest about symptoms and side effects "patient responsibility".
Sometimes it would be nicer if they could just read our minds. alas... so we have to read them for them.
can you make another appt.? say that you'd like to start over?
you can leave it on the voicemail "I'm scared about losing too much weight. I can't think very well. I'm losing my hair, and I need help". then hang up. mission accomplished.
whatdya think?
hugs xoxo
-Li
Posted by rskontos on December 4, 2007, at 17:31:43
In reply to Re: about the pdoc.... » karen_kay, posted by llurpsienoodle on December 4, 2007, at 14:20:17
Or just send an email like I did. It got results too and I didn't have to worry bout someone accidentally answering that stinking phone. don't ya just love email.
OH but to have a T or p-doc you cant hide from like mine. I tried yesterday to hide my anxiety. But no actor am I. and then the break down began and in the corner I went..........
Oh well, one more thing to be ashamed of..........not like it is the first........one of many but hey I come here to laugh and be merry
so lets cyber dance..............
************kk*************; *************rk************ and
**************Li***************** and anyone else is invited to join our dancing party........
rk
Posted by llurpsienoodle on December 4, 2007, at 17:42:46
In reply to Re: about the pdoc...., posted by rskontos on December 4, 2007, at 17:31:43
it looks funny because half the dancefloor is crying the other half looks angry and some folks are laughing and shaking at the same time. Tremors abound. as does rapid mood fluctuation. Exhibitions by narcissists are admired by shy wallflowers and the band is on propanolol for stagefright.
oh what a funny dance it is. yet everyone manages to have a good time.
and the sound of hundreds of pills shaking in all those pockets and purses
clicketyclatter
Posted by zenhussy on December 4, 2007, at 18:21:51
In reply to about the pdoc.... » llurpsienoodle, posted by karen_kay on December 4, 2007, at 14:11:13
it is OK to be scared about trying different meds. it is OK to be scared about changing the dosage of any med. being scared comes w/ the territory for most of us.
oh toots please get honest w/ yer pdoc as she is there to help you.
with huge concern and lotsa lovin',
me
Posted by rskontos on December 5, 2007, at 11:12:43
In reply to sweetie don't be such a liar liar to pdoc! » karen_kay, posted by zenhussy on December 4, 2007, at 18:21:51
kk, that is alot of topamax to be on, that is probably one huge reason you aren't eating, nothing taste right. I had that problem on lower dosage. My daughter lost 12 lbs on 200 mg. and she only weighed 105 when she started and the doctor warned only 5 lbs could she lose. She made herself eat.
I agree with zenhussy, be honest. It is one thing to actually forget something I have done that but tell him you are scared to switch. See what he says. Tell him what you think and why. Take care of yourself.
rk
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