Psycho-Babble Social Thread 675054

Shown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

I got labelled as a troll...again :-(

Posted by Deneb on August 8, 2006, at 21:42:29

Why does this keep happening to me?

Anyone? Dr. Bob? Why do I always get labelled as a troll?

This time I got labelled as a troll on this usenet group.

Someone convince me I'm not a troll and make me feel better.

I don't feel safe outside of Babble. :-( People say I'm a troll. :-(

I'm not a troll. I went to the Babble Party. Would a troll meet others on the message board?

Dr. Bob, you don't think I'm a troll right?

Why do people think I'm a troll? What do I do to make people think this about me?

Why?????

It's my social skills isn't it? In that I don't have any. :-(

Deneb*

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-(

Posted by Gabbi~G on August 8, 2006, at 21:50:16

In reply to I got labelled as a troll...again :-(, posted by Deneb on August 8, 2006, at 21:42:29

Deneb, I don't know what you post on the other message boards, but I've never seen you as a Troll ever.
Also, I went to Usenet once, and never visited it again because the way people spoke to each other just turned my stomach.

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Deneb

Posted by Estella on August 8, 2006, at 22:30:54

In reply to I got labelled as a troll...again :-(, posted by Deneb on August 8, 2006, at 21:42:29

I agree with Gabbi. That is why... Though I have trouble with *some* of the civility determinations / blocks / lengths of blocks I keep posting here instead of other places. These boards *are* more supportive than other boards I've found out there that have minimal (or absent) moderation.

> Why does this keep happening to me?

Because... They don't know you very well?

People tend to get labelled as trolls when people think they are posting *just* to provoke a negative reaction from others.

What that means... Is that people may experience a negative reaction, and then go on to blame you for their negative reaction.

Why do they have a negative reaction?

Typically it takes time for people to get to know you. If you just start posting about how upset you are feeling on a board where people don't know you and haven't seen you support other people... Then people are more likely to catch some of your upset and think you are doing it on purpose and label you as being a troll.

It isn't your fault. But maybe that explains *why* it might be that you tend to get labelled as a troll. We know you aren't a troll over here because you post when you are happy and when you aren't happy. Because we see you post wonderful supportive messages to others as well. It takes time to get to know someone. It is probably just that they don't know you very well and they don't see you posting supportive messages to others the way we do.

> Someone convince me I'm not a troll and make me feel better.

Perhaps you can internalise some of the stuff other people say to you (the helpful stuff) and start saying it to yourself when you get distressed. That is a way of helping yourself feel better rather than relying on others to help you feel better.

> I'm not a troll.

Great! I agree 100%

> I went to the Babble Party. Would a troll meet others on the message board?

Yeah, thats great :-) See? You aren't a troll and you know you aren't. I understand that it can be hurtful when other people say things like that though :-(

You are doing okay.

(((((Deneb))))))

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Estella

Posted by Deneb on August 9, 2006, at 0:14:37

In reply to Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Deneb, posted by Estella on August 8, 2006, at 22:30:54

> I agree with Gabbi. That is why... Though I have trouble with *some* of the civility determinations / blocks / lengths of blocks I keep posting here instead of other places. These boards *are* more supportive than other boards I've found out there that have minimal (or absent) moderation.

Yeah, I think Babble is the safest place for me right now. The good outweighs the bad for me. I hope you can feel safe here again Estella.

> People tend to get labelled as trolls when people think they are posting *just* to provoke a negative reaction from others.

My posts tend to frustrate people. People tend to think I'm not taking their advice and get angry with me for not succeeding. I posted about how I'm doing on my diet on this diet support group on usenet. I kept messing up my diet despite the advice people gave me. I think people there are frustrated because I don't have enough willpower to resist eating treats.

I don't have any problems on the health anxiety support forum. I find I like to help others there. People there really understand me and they understand my need to post my fears over and over again. I was accepted right away. I think it matters what type of forum it is.

> Typically it takes time for people to get to know you. If you just start posting about how upset you are feeling on a board where people don't know you and haven't seen you support other people... Then people are more likely to catch some of your upset and think you are doing it on purpose and label you as being a troll.

I need to learn to assess the culture of a group before I join in. I tend to jump in head-first without knowing what I'm getting myself into. I need to learn to post less conspicuous things.

> It is probably just that they don't know you very well and they don't see you posting supportive messages to others the way we do.

You really think I post supportive messages? :-) Thanks Estella, you made my night. :-) This makes me want to post more supportive messages. :-)

> Perhaps you can internalise some of the stuff other people say to you (the helpful stuff) and start saying it to yourself when you get distressed. That is a way of helping yourself feel better rather than relying on others to help you feel better.

I was actually thinking about internalizing the good things. I thought about that after I wrote the last post. I know that I'm not a troll and that should be good enough.

Thanks Estella, you help me tremendously as always.

((((((((((((Estella)))))))))))))

Deneb*

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Gabbi~G

Posted by Deneb on August 9, 2006, at 0:16:02

In reply to Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-(, posted by Gabbi~G on August 8, 2006, at 21:50:16

Thanks Gabbi

You made me feel better telling me I'm not a troll. Usenet is something else, isn't it? It's a jungle out there!

Deneb*

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Deneb

Posted by Estella on August 9, 2006, at 2:51:06

In reply to Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Gabbi~G, posted by Deneb on August 9, 2006, at 0:16:02

> You really think I post supportive messages? :-)

Yeah, sure you do :-)
You have posted a fair few to me that really made my day too :-)
I'm glad I was able to return that back to you :-)

>> Perhaps you can internalise some of the stuff other people say to you (the helpful stuff) and start saying it to yourself when you get distressed. That is a way of helping yourself feel better rather than relying on others to help you feel better.

> I was actually thinking about internalizing the good things.

Well you did more than think about it because you did say them to yourself in that post :-)

> I know that I'm not a troll and that should be good enough.

Yeah... But it is also nice to get some support from other people too. Both are the nicest of all :-)

(((((Deneb))))))

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Deneb

Posted by Glydin on August 9, 2006, at 7:17:24

In reply to I got labelled as a troll...again :-(, posted by Deneb on August 8, 2006, at 21:42:29

Per Wikipedia:

"a troll is someone who comes into an established community such as an online discussion forum, and posts inflammatory, rude, repetitive or offensive messages designed intentionally to annoy or antagonize the existing members or disrupt the flow of discussion, including the personal attack of calling others trolls."

It's "trawling", so I think intent is a BIG factor in dtermining if someone fits that description.

Misunderstandings do happen as a given at times. People can be misread as to intent. I think this can happen especially when someone is new to an area and folks aren't sure and do question: "What's up with this?". They are basing their opinions on a small window of behavior they are seeing. I'm not defending this, it's just what I have witnessed. We can all be frustrating to others, that might make us not easy to like but it does not means our intent is to be disruptive.

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Deneb

Posted by Racer on August 9, 2006, at 10:41:35

In reply to I got labelled as a troll...again :-(, posted by Deneb on August 8, 2006, at 21:42:29

OK, I'm going to go back on my "Deneb break," because you sound pretty upset about this. (And I don't blame you.)

First thing you do, Miss Uni Student, is Define Your Terms, right? What does being a Troll mean? Glydin posted a definition from Wikipedia. Does that help? Can you walk through the definition and see if you think it fits you?

Next, once you've looked intellectually at what fits and what doesn't, can you get into your emotions, and ask yourself what's bothering you about all this? Why does it matter so much what a bunch of strangers on a computer screen think about you? What is it that you're trying to get through your posts in the first place? Why do you want that? Why do you want to get that through a computer bulletin board? Is there another source for the same result? What would you have to do to get it?

One answer, Deneb, you've already given: spend more time here and at the health anxiety board, and less time there.

Or, babblemail me for a link to a usenet group that you can safely vent all your frustrations on, thanks to the Troll King! lol There's also a Troll Empress there, too. The best you could do would be a "slightly less socially practiced rational poster." ;-) Sometimes it can be nice to see what some people out there consider appropriate communication. It's a reminder that we don't have to be perfect to be within normal limits, you know?

Take care, Deneb. And it sounds as though you've heard something I've said to you a number of times -- "identify your audience" -- and I hope it's helped a bit. It felt nice for me to see you say something about it in your post, because I'd like to think that I've offered something helpful.

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Deneb

Posted by Phillipa on August 9, 2006, at 11:01:34

In reply to Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Gabbi~G, posted by Deneb on August 9, 2006, at 0:16:02

I've never been there and don't think I'll go. I prefer babble. Love Phillipa

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Glydin

Posted by Phillipa on August 9, 2006, at 11:03:28

In reply to Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Deneb, posted by Glydin on August 9, 2006, at 7:17:24

Glydin thanks I've never been sure what a troll was. I thought they were others that just read and never contributed. Love Phillipa

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-(

Posted by Meri-Tuuli on August 10, 2006, at 6:56:09

In reply to I got labelled as a troll...again :-(, posted by Deneb on August 8, 2006, at 21:42:29

Hey Deneb!

You are certainly not a troll on babble. That said, we have no idea how you behave elsewhere, so we can't really deceide that for you, you have to do this yourself.

I imagine, if they called you a troll, they were either trying to wind you up, or you did indeed post something that might be troll-like, even if you didn't specifcally want it to be interpreted as such, ie you're not a troll but unintentionally posted some inflammatory comments.

Why don't you ask the people on the boards that you posted and who called you a troll, what you actually posted to deserve that comment??? Its not much use asking us here, as we can only reassure you of your behaviour on babble, not elsewhere you might happen to be posting. Unless you give us specific examples.

Kind regards

Meri

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-(

Posted by TexasChic on August 10, 2006, at 19:58:33

In reply to I got labelled as a troll...again :-(, posted by Deneb on August 8, 2006, at 21:42:29

You know, I think the real question is why do you care? I've been asked this before. Its hard to explain I know. But its definitely something to think on. You don't even know these people, and they don't know you. Screw it. Trolling is an overused term. Maybe those people just want to sound hip. Just try not to take it so personally. And I'll try to do the same with my issues.

-T

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Glydin

Posted by Deneb on August 10, 2006, at 23:36:08

In reply to Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Deneb, posted by Glydin on August 9, 2006, at 7:17:24

I think the people on that group are particularly sensitive to trolling behaviour because it's Usenet and there are always trolls.

I don't think I posted anything inflammatory. I was posting a journal of what I ate everyday and I kept messing up my diet and eating danishes. People told me again and again that I had to eat healthy foods and I continued to eat some junk food everyday. That's when people started to think I was a troll. In reality it was just poor self control, but they throught I was doing it on purpose.

Deneb*

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Racer

Posted by Deneb on August 10, 2006, at 23:46:47

In reply to Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Deneb, posted by Racer on August 9, 2006, at 10:41:35

> OK, I'm going to go back on my "Deneb break," because you sound pretty upset about this. (And I don't blame you.)

Thanks for your reply Racer. I'm not really that upset about it this time around. I was pretty upset over on that breast cancer support forum though.

> First thing you do, Miss Uni Student, is Define Your Terms, right? What does being a Troll mean? Glydin posted a definition from Wikipedia. Does that help? Can you walk through the definition and see if you think it fits you?

The definition doesn't fit me, but I can begin to understand why my behaviour sometimes leads others to think I'm a troll. It should be good enough that I know I'm not a troll.

>
> Next, once you've looked intellectually at what fits and what doesn't, can you get into your emotions, and ask yourself what's bothering you about all this? Why does it matter so much what a bunch of strangers on a computer screen think about you?

It really shouldn't matter that much, but still I sometimes let it get to me. It's all about my own reaction. I let myself be upset by them. I have to learn to be more secure in myself and not have others determine my self worth.


> Or, babblemail me for a link to a usenet group that you can safely vent all your frustrations on, thanks to the Troll King!

LOL Now I'm curious.

>Sometimes it can be nice to see what some people out there consider appropriate communication.

I agree!

Deneb*

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Phillipa

Posted by Deneb on August 10, 2006, at 23:47:28

In reply to Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Deneb, posted by Phillipa on August 9, 2006, at 11:01:34

I prefer Babble too Phillipa. I should stay here. :-)

Deneb*

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Deneb

Posted by Racer on August 11, 2006, at 12:09:00

In reply to Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Racer, posted by Deneb on August 10, 2006, at 23:46:47

> >
> > First thing you do, Miss Uni Student, is Define Your Terms, right? What does being a Troll mean? Glydin posted a definition from Wikipedia. Does that help? Can you walk through the definition and see if you think it fits you?
>
> The definition doesn't fit me, but I can begin to understand why my behaviour sometimes leads others to think I'm a troll. It should be good enough that I know I'm not a troll.

As SLS once wrote to me, "don't 'should' all over yourself..." Good advice.

>
> >
>
> It really shouldn't matter that much, but still I sometimes let it get to me. It's all about my own reaction. I let myself be upset by them. I have to learn to be more secure in myself and not have others determine my self worth.

All good stuff, Deneb, but don't forget: emotions are. It's hard for me, and I do a lot of the "I shouldn't feel this way" myself, but we both gotta remember that if we feel a certain way, that's what we feel. The best response to it is to accept that we feel it, and then explore why. Sometimes we'll find that it's something wonky inside us, and we can work on that. Other times, though, we might find out that it's totally appropriate to feel that way...


Take care.

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-( » Deneb

Posted by Michael83 on August 12, 2006, at 14:53:58

In reply to I got labelled as a troll...again :-(, posted by Deneb on August 8, 2006, at 21:42:29

Welcome to the internet Deneb. On some sites, anyone who says anything that in the least bit stands out is considered a "troll."

It doesn't mean you're a troll, it just means you're not a sheep.

 

Re: I got labelled as a troll...again :-(

Posted by finelinebob on August 15, 2006, at 23:41:35

In reply to I got labelled as a troll...again :-(, posted by Deneb on August 8, 2006, at 21:42:29

> Why do people think I'm a troll? What do I do to make people think this about me?

You wouldn't happen to live under a bridge and scare off billy-goats, would you?

In online gaming, the fashionable term is "non-factor" if its a game that allows players to fight one another. Being called a non-factor was equivalent to being told even a rank-amateur n00b with no skillz could whip your tail. So, a number of us non-factors made it so fashionable to be a non-factor, all the "factors" started trying to do their best to be non-factors too ... but it was obvious they were just posers and really couldn't do what it takes to be a non-factor.

Just remember, when someone points at you and calls you a troll, there are 3 fingers pointing back at them.


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