Psycho-Babble Social Thread 674015

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Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Estella

Posted by Declan on August 5, 2006, at 20:17:41

In reply to Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content?, posted by Estella on August 5, 2006, at 19:08:51

Too much choice among a waste of shops and expectations of life derived from media.

 

Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content?

Posted by Declan on August 5, 2006, at 20:19:23

In reply to Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Estella, posted by Declan on August 5, 2006, at 20:17:41

Owned by people like Rupert Murdoch, who you will all be pleased to know, has taken up yoga.

 

Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Estella

Posted by Dinah on August 5, 2006, at 20:32:42

In reply to Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content?, posted by Estella on August 5, 2006, at 19:08:51

They overestimate us. I always get the same brand and flavor of spaghetti sauce, the same bread, know exactly what I'll order at any given restaurant. I know which store has my favorite spaghetti sauce, which has my favorite pickles. Most people I know do the same. I only get upset if my brand goes out of business.

I'd guess it has more to do with the fact that I only know two of my neighbors names. And only their first names at that. I wouldn't dream of sitting on my porch watching the world go by as long as there's a/c and a cable television inside.

Maybe that's why people who are active in religions are shown to be happier. It's a built in community of the old fashioned sort. Someone brings you a casserole when you've been sick. Everyone knows everyone's name - first and last - and a bit about their lives.

I'd guess at lack of connection in modern United States, not an excess of choice.

 

Atomised

Posted by Declan on August 5, 2006, at 20:43:12

In reply to Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Estella, posted by Dinah on August 5, 2006, at 20:32:42

That's what "Atomised" was about, in its misanthropic way. We are very social animals but sometimes the forms society takes don't work particularly well with that.
The choice comes at a cost though. Here we used to have an alternative town. Real estate prices went through the roof, like everywhere else, and this meant that the only shops that could afford the rents were chain stores. I could walk for miles through them and not see a single interesting thing or a thing to engage the mind or the spirit. So we've ended up with handbag shops and 7/11s in place of the interesting ones that everyone came here for. I imagine market forces work like this in other fields. Having said that I shouldn't be too snooty about market forces...I've never been much good at making money.

 

Re: Atomised » Declan

Posted by sleepygirl on August 5, 2006, at 21:03:25

In reply to Atomised, posted by Declan on August 5, 2006, at 20:43:12

:-(
too expensive to have a soul

reminds me of a child with too many toys, who then never finds the value in any of them, never finding the one "special" one which can get worn and dirty but always be the most "valuable" one of all

if you can't attach yourself to anything, then who cares? too much is disposable

 

Re: Are people in Rwanda happy and content? » Estella

Posted by sleepygirl on August 5, 2006, at 21:05:34

In reply to Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content?, posted by Estella on August 5, 2006, at 19:08:51

yeah, there's *always* a reason to feel not good enough

 

Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Estella

Posted by Jost on August 5, 2006, at 21:14:34

In reply to Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content?, posted by Estella on August 5, 2006, at 19:08:51

Although if you read the ingredients on the ten cans of spaghetti sauce--you'll find that they're the same can of sauce, with ten different wrappers.

At least in my grocery store.

Maybe that's why we're unhappy-- we keep expecting to have all these amazing, enticing experiences, and when we have them-- they're the same old red dye no. 2-colored corn syrup with unnameable "flavorings" and preservatives.

Jost

 

Choice and freedom

Posted by Declan on August 5, 2006, at 21:20:11

In reply to Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content?, posted by Estella on August 5, 2006, at 19:08:51

The obvious mistake I made with my kids (from lack of confidence) was to give them too much choice. You think at the time you're doing them a favour, offering then all this stuff, but you are really burdening them uneccessarily (pay attention Erich Fromm "Fear of Freedom")

In Hanoi I came across a restaurant with no choice at all, although there was a choice of soft drinks and coca cola (but the country had already gone to the dogs). Good food and no choice. What more could you want?

 

Re: Choice and freedom

Posted by Declan on August 5, 2006, at 21:22:47

In reply to Choice and freedom, posted by Declan on August 5, 2006, at 21:20:11

Fear of Freedom was a sort of anarchist/self management text, but Fromm was in the Frankfurt School, wasn't he?
Amazon sucks.

 

Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Jost

Posted by Dinah on August 5, 2006, at 21:42:16

In reply to Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Estella, posted by Jost on August 5, 2006, at 21:14:34

I can tell Prego from Ragu any old day. :) And Gundelsheim Barrel Pickles are worth a trip to another store. It only takes one Easter egg rolling to discover that Egglands Best at least have unusually firm healthy shells. Not to mention melon Propel and real French bread that isn't just long thin bread. Who hasn't made a bad day better with some Cherry Garcia ice cream?

I have amazing enticing food experiences every day. All I need is some real French bread of my favorite brand and some fresh butter.

I remember the days of only three broadcast channels. And no fresh pasta, just one brand of dried pasta. And only Red Delicious apples in the produce aisle and American Beauty butter in the dairy section.

Choice is a beautiful thing and never makes me one whit unhappy.

 

Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Dinah

Posted by Phillipa on August 5, 2006, at 22:01:00

In reply to Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Jost, posted by Dinah on August 5, 2006, at 21:42:16

Ummm blackberries , or blueberries, or strawberrie, cantaloupe, watermelon the list is endless in the summer. I like choices. Love Phillipa

 

Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Dinah

Posted by Jost on August 5, 2006, at 22:14:51

In reply to Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Jost, posted by Dinah on August 5, 2006, at 21:42:16

Maybe it's just cole slaw. I've been looking for some for about three weeks.

Tried the deli counter at the D'Agostino's at 110th St., a small deli at 113th St. called Milano, a really good deli at 89th called Barney Greenglass, and one other deli. The coleslaw from Greenglass wasn't bad, but made me sick, possibly from having been a bit old.

I also looked at coleslaw salad dressing-- of which I found four different brands at a Gristedes, two of them regular shelved salad dressing, two supposedly "homemade" and refrigerated in the salad section. The ingredients of these bottled dressings were identical: the exact same ingredients, in the same order, literally--beginning with "corn syrup."

I begin to wonder if they're all made by the same outfit.

Maybe I'm overly suspicious, but I have the strong feeling none of them would have tasted decent. Since when is the main ingredient in coleslaw "corn syrup"?

Jost

 

Re: Are people in Rwanda happy and content? » Jost

Posted by Gabbi~G on August 5, 2006, at 22:42:32

In reply to Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Dinah, posted by Jost on August 5, 2006, at 22:14:51

You are being rightfully suspicious

There has been a documented increase in the use of corn syrup especially the notoriously unhealthy "high fructose kind" as an ingredient in U.S processed foods. In Canada many similar products are sweetened with Sugar.

It's largely political.
Corn is a subsidised crop in the U.S
it subsidizez corn farmers, while propping up sugar prices and limiting imports, as well as blockading Cuba (and its sugar)


And if you know all this already, as is quite likely, ulp..sorry.


 

Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Jost

Posted by Dinah on August 5, 2006, at 22:48:27

In reply to Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Dinah, posted by Jost on August 5, 2006, at 22:14:51

:)

I'll have to admit to not knowing the ingredients of cole slaw since I am not a huge fan, but I doubt grandma had any corn syrup on hand.

 

Re: Are people in Rwanda happy and content? » Gabbi~G

Posted by Dinah on August 5, 2006, at 22:57:18

In reply to Re: Are people in Rwanda happy and content? » Jost, posted by Gabbi~G on August 5, 2006, at 22:42:32

We in Louisiana are happy to promote the use of 100% cane sugar. ;)

 

Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Jost

Posted by Phillipa on August 5, 2006, at 22:58:11

In reply to Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Dinah, posted by Jost on August 5, 2006, at 22:14:51

Jost you're in NYC. I used to go to those delis when I lived in CT. Small world. But cole slaw has corn syrup in it? Ick. Love Phillipa

 

Re: people in Rowanda... Dinah, Gabbi-G, Phillipa

Posted by Jost on August 5, 2006, at 23:39:39

In reply to Re: Are people in Rowanda happy and content? » Jost, posted by Phillipa on August 5, 2006, at 22:58:11

How have we gone from the conflict in the Middle East to coleslaw and Prego vs. Ragu (and are those names too similar for coincidence?) in one thread?

I take back everything I said about the coleslaw.

Let's go back to something philosophical and uplifting, like choice and freedom, or the meaning of life in Ruanda.

Even though the lack of coleslaw on the Upper West Side is something I understand, and the rest isn't, I don't feel comfortable with my role vis a vis our current topic.

Sorry. :(

Jost

 

Re: the pursuit of happiness vs contentment

Posted by Estella on August 6, 2006, at 0:12:19

In reply to Re: people in Rowanda... Dinah, Gabbi-G, Phillipa, posted by Jost on August 5, 2006, at 23:39:39

> Although if you read the ingredients on the ten cans of spaghetti sauce--you'll find that they're the same can of sauce, with ten different wrappers.

yes indeed lol.

and globalisation (multi-nationals like starbucks, macdonalds, subway, KFC etc) undercut what smaller businesses can do and that leads to... close of small business and ultimately less choice.

Andy Warhol took Coke as a symbol of equality. The Coke that the Queen and Bush and movie stars drink is the same as the Coke that the bum on the streets (so to speak) drinks.

Advertising has a lot to answer for. Implicit messages of how we need Coke or make-up or this detergent or that brand of spaghetti sauce to be... Happy.

The pursuit of happiness...

I like the eastern ideal of contentment.

Choice... At what cost? I worry about that too... I worry about the exploitation of third world labour to bring you that choice...

I'm not sure that people with religion tend to be happier...

But I agree that a sense of community can impact significantly on happiness. Religon can be one way to access that sense of community...

But small communities can have downsides too... Less tolerance of difference etc...

 

Community

Posted by Declan on August 6, 2006, at 2:54:18

In reply to Re: the pursuit of happiness vs contentment, posted by Estella on August 6, 2006, at 0:12:19

'I wouldn't want to be a member of any club that would have me', but all of the others are fine.

 

Re: people in Rowanda... Dinah, Gabbi-G, Phillipa » Jost

Posted by Dinah on August 6, 2006, at 5:23:14

In reply to Re: people in Rowanda... Dinah, Gabbi-G, Phillipa, posted by Jost on August 5, 2006, at 23:39:39

I believe it wasn't so far off field, since the availability of choice was proposed as the downfall of western society and the happiness therein. I happen to disagree.

I also find it hard to believe struggle and hardship, the increased possibility of losing ones' loved ones to preventable diseases, famine, or war somehow makes one happier.

I think I reject the concept that Western civilization and even materialism breeds unhappiness.

I was just saying so lightly.

I could say so less lightly if you like.

There's no virtue in suffering. There's no romance in poverty. My great great however greats who lived in the coal mines and were likely to die there weren't inherently happier than I am. My even greater greats who watched their villages burn over the fights of their feudal lords didn't have a lock on happiness either. All of them were at the mercy of exterior forces. None of them had the luxury of choice. They probably felt impotently angry at the vagaries of fate and the people in power who regarded them as objects, and ones not nearly as valuable as their horses or dogs. I don't think that breeds contentment.

I don't think it's *right* to think of the ills of modern western society in anywhere near the same terms of a country with say 20% infant mortality rates and adults living on starvation level, famines, plagues, a government so corrupt that international aid to the peoples get diverted (not that that doesn't happen here, but at least there is some basic safety net), civil wars, genocide.

There likely are happy people in those circumstances. Life goes on everywhere. People fall in love and get married and have children and have personal victories large and small. Which is why I brought up disconnection in modern society.

But even then I feel ashamed to even consider in the same thought the idea that I don't know my neighbors' last names as I hop into my nice air conditioned car and drive to tow grocery stores to get my favorite brands, and the plight of the common peoples of third world countries.

I chose to say so lightly, in terms of Prego and Ragu. I'm sorry if you considered that a diversion from the serious nature of this discussion. I shall show proper probity henceforth.

A chastened,

Dinah

 

Re: the pursuit of happiness vs contentment » Estella

Posted by Dinah on August 6, 2006, at 5:44:10

In reply to Re: the pursuit of happiness vs contentment, posted by Estella on August 6, 2006, at 0:12:19

Twasn't me who did the studies on religion and happiness. I just happened to read a reference to them in a psych journal lately. I was speculating on why. If you disagree with the conclusions, you'll have to take it up with the researchers. Certainly I have no great faith in scientific inquiry of any sort, much less about something so subjective.

I've just been listening to "A Short History of Nearly Everything" and my faith in the scientific method is at an all time low. I suppose it's the best we've got.

 

Re: people in Rowanda... Dinah, Gabbi-G, Phillipa

Posted by Estella on August 6, 2006, at 11:04:07

In reply to Re: people in Rowanda... Dinah, Gabbi-G, Phillipa » Jost, posted by Dinah on August 6, 2006, at 5:23:14

Whether there is a correlation between religion (I'm thinking christianity) and happiness is controversial. See for example:

http://taylorandfrancis.metapress.com/(0dvr3f55tsbw4o451ptxst45)/app/home/contribution.asp?referrer=parent&backto=issue,2,7;journal,3,23;linkingpublicationresults,1:104639,1

> I believe it wasn't so far off field, since the availability of choice was proposed as the downfall of western society and the happiness therein. I happen to disagree.

I just meant to say that increased choices doesn't necessarily mean increased happiness. There is some evidence to show that past a certain number of choices... more choices seem to actually lead to a decrease in subjective happiness.

> I think I reject the concept that Western civilization and even materialism breeds unhappiness.

It seems to breed a certain kind of unhappiness...

is happiness something you persue (seek)
or is happiness something you accept (acknowledge)
?

> There's no virtue in suffering. There's no romance in poverty.

But what counts as suffering and what counts as poverty?
Those things can be relative...

 

Re: people in Rowanda... Dinah, Gabbi-G, Phillipa

Posted by Jost on August 6, 2006, at 15:00:24

In reply to Re: people in Rowanda... Dinah, Gabbi-G, Phillipa » Jost, posted by Dinah on August 6, 2006, at 5:23:14

A probity that I salute.

If there is a downfall of Western Civilization, it will likely be caused by what caused the downfall of most civilizations-- some sort of decadence, arrogance, aggression, and coming up against a stronger, more ruthless enemy. Or a society's exhaustion of its natural resource base.

What causes the unhappiness of Western civilization, if it is greater than any other unhappiness? There is a fair correlation, I believe, between happiness and wealth, according to a study I saw recently. However, there are some countries where there's greater happiness without as great wealth as, say, the US. Can't remember which they were, maybe Norway, or Denmark, and another one.

But in general, happiness correlates with a society's wealth.

So I'm pretty sure, in fact, people are happier in the USA or Australia or Britain, or Germany than in Ruanda, or the Congo.

Community can be great, or oppressive. It provides support, a certain type of emotional sustenance, but exerts pressure for conformity to norms, sometimes destructively. I have ambivalent ideas about community-- but I'm pretty comfortable with Declan's approach.

Anyway, I was the convener of the conversation on coleslaw, so I am hereby chastened.

Jost

 

Re: people in Rowanda... Dinah, Gabbi-G, Phillipa

Posted by Estella on August 6, 2006, at 18:11:02

In reply to Re: people in Rowanda... Dinah, Gabbi-G, Phillipa, posted by Jost on August 6, 2006, at 15:00:24


> But in general, happiness correlates with a society's wealth.

Does that mean the top 10% of the population of the USA have over 60% of the happiness?

That is the way the wealth is distributed...

I think we should be very careful indeed about correlating happiness with wealth...

Sure there is probably a threshold of meeting ones basic needs...

sure

but it is possible to get too much of a good thing

why is it that rich people seem about as f*cked up as the rest of us do you think?

money doesn't buy you happiness...

doesn't anyone believe this anymore?

 

Re: people in Rowanda... Dinah, Gabbi-G, Phillipa

Posted by Estella on August 6, 2006, at 18:12:54

In reply to Re: people in Rowanda... Dinah, Gabbi-G, Phillipa, posted by Estella on August 6, 2006, at 18:11:02

i wonder how happiness is measured...

self report?

hedonistic pleasure?

why should i care about happiness over contentment?


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