![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on June 3, 2006, at 23:16:50
I just ran across some news about a friend I lost track of twenty or so years ago. She's been having some problems, and those problems caused her to, without meaning to, hurt living beings. It was so painful to see the pain she was in, and the pain she caused others, and how very hard people tried to get her and them help and how the government protected her rights so thoroughly that everyone ended up being hurt, not least her.
I really feel sick and so, so sad.
How can everyone try so hard to help, and how can it be so impossible to help until things get past where help is all that helpful?
Posted by gardenergirl on June 3, 2006, at 23:20:24
In reply to I could use a hug, posted by Dinah on June 3, 2006, at 23:16:50
Posted by Deneb on June 3, 2006, at 23:34:53
In reply to I could use a hug, posted by Dinah on June 3, 2006, at 23:16:50
Posted by llrrrpp on June 4, 2006, at 0:07:52
In reply to Re: {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dinah}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} (nm), posted by Deneb on June 3, 2006, at 23:34:53
hi Dinah
that's terribleI'll hug you. Will you hug me back?
(((((((((Dinah)))))))))
your friend,
-ll
Posted by Dinah on June 4, 2006, at 0:21:22
In reply to Re: {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dinah}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}, posted by llrrrpp on June 4, 2006, at 0:07:52
Of course. But I thought I read somewhere that you didn't like cyberhugs?
I had been trying to be respectful of that.
Perhaps I was mistaken. And if so, I apologize.
Posted by llrrrpp on June 4, 2006, at 0:24:50
In reply to {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{llrrrpp}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}, posted by Dinah on June 4, 2006, at 0:21:22
Dinah,
I like different things at different times.
Now is a time when we need hugshugs to you
hugs for Dinah
thanks for hugging me backI hope things work out for your friend. Is there some hope? Can things get even a little better? That's what we'll have to hope for
(((your friend)))
Posted by Dinah on June 4, 2006, at 0:34:35
In reply to Re: {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{llrrrpp}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}, posted by llrrrpp on June 4, 2006, at 0:24:50
Things have gotten better for the innocent creatures she harmed, through no ill intent, just illness. But there's no assurance that she'll never be able to harm again. And she has been released apparently without having been given the help she needs, but doesn't think she needs. I really hope I'm wrong about that, and that any requirements for treatment were simply not reported. I don't want to see her punished, but I can't see that it's in her best interests to let her go without treatment and she's probably not in the best position to judge whether she needs it.
Sigh. I suppose that's a topic for the Politics board.
Posted by Tamar on June 4, 2006, at 6:34:19
In reply to I could use a hug, posted by Dinah on June 3, 2006, at 23:16:50
I'm so sorry about your friend and those she hurt. It sounds like such a sad situation. I hope she gets the help she needs and that she's able to overcome her illness.
Tamar
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 4, 2006, at 7:40:19
In reply to I could use a hug, posted by Dinah on June 3, 2006, at 23:16:50
I'm sorry your heart pains so.
Lar
Posted by Annierose on June 4, 2006, at 8:36:18
In reply to ((((((((((Dinah)))))))))) » Dinah, posted by Tamar on June 4, 2006, at 6:34:19
It is hard to see people we care about get themselves in harmful situations. Your friend must be in tremendous pain.
(((((((((((((DINAH)))))))))))))))
Posted by Dinah on June 4, 2006, at 9:30:38
In reply to Re: ((((((((((Dinah)))))))))), posted by Annierose on June 4, 2006, at 8:36:18
I was tossing and turning all night from the photos.
And trying not to be angry. Or at least trying to be angry with the authorities and not her.
I think rage will definitely be a topic at therapy today.
Posted by Phillipa on June 4, 2006, at 11:43:01
In reply to Thanks everyone. (Trigger?), posted by Dinah on June 4, 2006, at 9:30:38
Sorry Dianah sometimes things aren't fair how the therapist can help you sort it out. Love Phillipa
Posted by llrrrpp on June 4, 2006, at 12:21:31
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. (Trigger?) » Dinah, posted by Phillipa on June 4, 2006, at 11:43:01
Hi Corafree,
Your situation sounds so difficult right now, but even through all the hardship and pain you expressed, I read some things that might give you hope.You love your children, even though they are flawed, and they may have poor judgment, and even though they may do things that are inconsiderate and even hurtful. You love them, so your ex was *not* successful in destroying your heart. Your heart is strong enough to LOVE and to love powerfully. Use that love to make you stronger.
You live in a place where you're not feeling like you're not at home. But, you are FREE. you may not feel free, because he's close to you, but think about how FREE you are corafree-- You are divorced. You are free to have your own romantic relationships (which your ex finds threatening, as such abusers will). You are free to go to the store, to go about your business, to talk to your therapist about anything and everything. You're FREE to feel the hurt and the pain that this man has done to you. You don't have to hide it from the world (from your children, from yourself) any longer, pretend like all is well. Maybe that's why you're feeling so much discomfort? Because you've never allowed yourself the freedom to feel the hurt before?
With Freedom comes responsibility, and your main responsibility is to yourself. Keep corafree safe. Don't hurt corafree. Your children are old enough to make their own mistakes, and they will make them, regardless of your interventions. So, be responsible for your own heart, and your own body. See a therapist, figure out if there is a medicine that might help turn down the volume on some of these overwhelming feelings you're experiencing.
I hope you find some peace today,
yours,
-llrrrpp
Posted by llrrrpp on June 4, 2006, at 12:45:07
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. (Trigger?), posted by llrrrpp on June 4, 2006, at 12:21:31
SOOOO sorry
the above should be linked to this thread.Sorry Dinah
-llrrrpp
Posted by Kath on June 4, 2006, at 14:37:14
In reply to I could use a hug, posted by Dinah on June 3, 2006, at 23:16:50
Posted by sleepygirl on June 4, 2006, at 17:10:22
In reply to I could use a hug, posted by Dinah on June 3, 2006, at 23:16:50
Posted by ClearSkies on June 5, 2006, at 8:10:21
In reply to I could use a hug, posted by Dinah on June 3, 2006, at 23:16:50
You're very dear to me. I didn't mean to hold back any hugs for you. They aren't enough virtual hugs to express my wishes that you felt better in every way.
Posted by Dinah on June 5, 2006, at 13:04:21
In reply to (((Dinah))), posted by ClearSkies on June 5, 2006, at 8:10:21
((((ClearSkies))))
I'm sorry for the distress Admin is causing you. :(
Posted by ClearSkies on June 5, 2006, at 13:35:22
In reply to Re: (((Dinah))) » ClearSkies, posted by Dinah on June 5, 2006, at 13:04:21
Hey, it's a package deal, isn't it?
My filters don't work very well sometimes. It helps to feel like I can do some "underground" assistance.
You take care of yourself. Thanks so much!
CS
Posted by corafree on June 5, 2006, at 18:47:46
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. (Trigger?), posted by llrrrpp on June 4, 2006, at 12:21:31
Believe either Dinah or Dr. Bob must have put this title in the subject line. (If I did .. somebody ppllleezzz tell me?!) Anyway, it's ironically correct as it's what I would have put there.
I got out for an x-ray this a.m., but otherwise ill in bed. I'm going to read the 'dos and donts' here on the site as 'the cats obviously out of the bag that I skipped the directions'! And, thank you Larry for your kind explaination.
Medication alteration seriously pursued Thursday w/ P, Phillipa, and Llrrrpp, think you hit the nail on the head when said the following:
<You don't have to hide it from the world (from your children, from yourself) any longer, pretend like all is well. Maybe that's why you're feeling so much discomfort? Because you've never allowed yourself the freedom to feel the hurt before?>
Think I was keeping this truth locked up for a long time. I've really been confused. So confused that I don't know what to say right here right now. BUT, I know something right now that I didn't know before right now. I think I've been using all my strength staying entrapped!
youdiditagain,cf
p.s. Okay; got chills re-reading this! (Another sheet of paper I've got to tape to my face! You'll know me when you see me huh?)
Posted by llrrrpp on June 5, 2006, at 19:49:05
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. (Trigger?) » llrrrpp, posted by corafree on June 5, 2006, at 18:47:46
for real?
I had insight? Whoa. I was totally projecting my own issues onto your situation, which is VERY different, in many ways, but I guess, NOT so different. We're all people after all. Variations on a theme.You don't know how gratifying it is that you told me that I may have helped you figure something out. Knowledge is power.
best to you CoraFREE
-llrrrpp
Posted by corafree on June 6, 2006, at 22:29:13
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. (Trigger?) » corafree, posted by llrrrpp on June 5, 2006, at 19:49:05
I wanted say to all ... I'm really physically ill; having to lie in bed. Can't sit long. Pls forgive if miss response.
Larry's action and the responses to my post have really opened my eyes to the severity of my issue. (Yes, I most certainly had become comfortably numb.). This is something not a T, fam member, friend, or any IRLer has helped enable me to see so vividly before.
I've over-stepped others' boundaries though.
It's hard to define boundaries online because I can't reach out an arm's length and I don't know all your histories.
In this situation, I had a sudden onset of bad feelings and quick access to you all w/ my thoughts. Maybe it was at that point I should have known I might say something which was a TRIGGER.(?)
In my 'numbness', I sincerely couldn't recognize the gravity of my situation as I portrayed it in my post ... UNTIL ... Larry's action and the following posts. Now I see.
love,cf
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.