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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 12 to 36 of 38. Go back in thread:
Posted by Phillipa on May 24, 2006, at 21:55:05
In reply to Re: I brought up the idea of Calif. with my Mom » Phillipa, posted by Deneb on May 24, 2006, at 21:52:59
Deneb that's very commendable. Love Phillipa
Posted by llrrrpp on May 24, 2006, at 23:10:53
In reply to Re: I brought up the idea of Calif. with my Mom » Deneb, posted by Phillipa on May 24, 2006, at 21:55:05
Deneb*
I think your mom might have a good point!
:)I'm SUPER-SCARY. about as scary as meow-meow.
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 24, 2006, at 23:56:11
In reply to I just uploaded some pictures I took of Dr. Bob, posted by Deneb on May 24, 2006, at 17:40:49
> I'm waiting for Dr. Bob to tell me if it's okay to show them.
It's fine with me if you share them with the others who were there, but I'd rather you didn't post them publicly. Thanks for asking,
Bob
Posted by Deneb on May 25, 2006, at 0:07:07
In reply to Re: pictures I took of Dr. Bob, posted by Dr. Bob on May 24, 2006, at 23:56:11
Posted by Deneb on May 25, 2006, at 0:21:34
In reply to Thanks for letting me know Dr. Bob (nm) » Dr. Bob, posted by Deneb on May 25, 2006, at 0:07:07
Don't worry Bob, I uploaded the pictures onto a site I've never posted a link to before. It's a new place.
I just realized I may have revealed things about you that you didn't want revealed. Sorry if I've revealed too much about you Dr. Bob. I got excited and wanted to share. Sorry I wrote that you gave me a hug.
I hope you can forgive me. Although, to be fair, you could have told me not to share anything about you. You could have predicted I would share, no?
(((((Dr. Bob)))))) I hope you're okay.
Deneb*
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 25, 2006, at 6:35:21
In reply to I just uploaded some pictures I took of Dr. Bob, posted by Deneb on May 24, 2006, at 17:40:49
Deneb, you may post a link of the picture you took of me wearing the Dr. Bob scarf.
Lar
Posted by fallsfall on May 25, 2006, at 7:46:14
In reply to Re: I brought up the idea of Calif. with my Mom, posted by Deneb on May 24, 2006, at 21:06:16
> I just brought up the idea of California with my Mom. She thought it would be a bad idea for me to go alone. She said I would have a horrible time. She said I don't have the courage to travel alone. She doesn't think I could do it. :-(
*** You ARE a capable young woman.
>
> Hmmm...if she's wrong about me traveling alone, maybe she's wrong about me living on my own too.
>
> I mentioned that maybe I would meet up with online friends and she didn't really take me seriously. She just said, "Online friends? They'll chop you up dead." I wonder what would happen if I told my Mom the truth about the Toronto trip right now? I don't really want to find out. I don't think there's any way to convince my Mom that Babblers aren't axe murderers.
>
> Deneb*Lots of people (including the pdoc who sat behind you) think that the internet is solely a dangerous place. It CAN be a dangerous place - the whole world can be a dangerous place. But just like there are some areas of a city that it isn't a safe idea to walk through, there are other areas that are just fine and wonderful. The trick is figuring out how to tell the difference.
I wonder if some of your mother's thinking is cultural. I knew a woman in college who was living with her grandmother who was from China, and her grandmother was very protective of her, even though she was a very capable person.
My trip to Chicago last year showed me that I could do things I didn't think I could do. Maybe Toronto can do the same for you.
Posted by gardenergirl on May 25, 2006, at 9:53:44
In reply to Re: I brought up the idea of Calif. with my Mom » Deneb, posted by fallsfall on May 25, 2006, at 7:46:14
My mother and actually I think my T were both a bit concerned about me going to Chicago to meet with internet friends. And I agree, there are risks. But before I met anyone, I'd been on Babble for at least a year, and I'd developed relationships with folks. When I came back and talked about it to my mom, my T, and my husband, they all seemed to understand that I had met with "old friends", just for the first time in person. It was wonderful.
gg
Posted by AuntieMel on May 25, 2006, at 14:55:14
In reply to Re: I brought up the idea of Calif. with my Mom, posted by Deneb on May 24, 2006, at 21:06:16
>>She just said, "Online friends? They'll chop you up dead."
Have you ever read any books by Amy Tan? Everytime you talk about your mother it reminds me of her books.
Posted by Deneb on May 25, 2006, at 15:10:41
In reply to Re: I brought up the idea of Calif. with my Mom » Deneb, posted by AuntieMel on May 25, 2006, at 14:55:14
> >>She just said, "Online friends? They'll chop you up dead."
>
> Have you ever read any books by Amy Tan? Everytime you talk about your mother it reminds me of her books.Nope. There are a LOT of books I haven't read. LOL. I'll keep my eye out for her books.
I used to read when I was little, don't know why I stopped.
Deneb*
Posted by Phillipa on May 25, 2006, at 17:58:34
In reply to Re: I brought up the idea of Calif. with my Mom » Deneb, posted by AuntieMel on May 25, 2006, at 14:55:14
Deneb Lar said you could post the one of him wearing the scarf are you going to do it? Love Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on May 25, 2006, at 19:26:22
In reply to Re: I brought up the idea of Calif. with my Mom, posted by Phillipa on May 25, 2006, at 17:58:34
Posted by Kath on May 25, 2006, at 20:04:20
In reply to Re: I brought up the idea of Calif. with my Mom » AuntieMel, posted by Deneb on May 25, 2006, at 15:10:41
Hi Deneb,
The Joy Luck Club is a great movie by Amy Tan. The 2nd time I watched it with my daughter. We agreed that we could sob & cry loudly if necessary. It was a 26 Kleenex movie!!!!!!!!!!
My Mom died when I was 23 & watching it with my dotter & having the sadness that Mom & L would never meet each other was rather wrenching.
It's a movie about Mothers & daughters. It's worth watching.
I cringed when I read what your Mom said. I don't know how old you are; if your have siblings and/or a Dad in the picture. It seemed your Mom is terrified of losing control over you. Sorry - don't mean to insult you or her, but I did cringe when I read what she said.
You're very capable. I wonder if you've been made to feel that you AREN'T capable. You're really braver than I had thought to have made the trip!!!! The fact that you're even thinking of going to California is an amazing thing!!!!
I forsee a good life for you. I think you're a butterfly still inside the crysallis - starting to stretch & push your way out.
Online friends are a good way to start to learn about having friends, I think. Have you ever had "in-the-flesh" friends? You might decide to one day...who knows. Well anyway, now you have in-the-flesh friends who you're interacted with in person!!! Your PB friends.
(((((((((((((((you)))))))))))))))
hugs, Kath
Posted by Phillipa on May 25, 2006, at 21:59:07
In reply to Larry wearing the Bob scarf, posted by Deneb on May 25, 2006, at 19:26:22
Deneb I added Lar and the scarf to my pics is that Bob on the side? And the scarf is beautiful. Love Phillipa
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 26, 2006, at 7:33:04
In reply to Re: Larry wearing the Bob scarf » Deneb, posted by Phillipa on May 25, 2006, at 21:59:07
> Deneb I added Lar and the scarf to my pics is that Bob on the side? And the scarf is beautiful. Love Phillipa
Yes, bob is just snipped off.
I can't believe how drawn I look. How the pain has etched my face like that. I guess I needed to understand that, too.
Lar
Posted by pseudoname on May 26, 2006, at 14:43:55
In reply to Re: I brought up the idea of Calif. with my Mom, posted by Deneb on May 24, 2006, at 21:06:16
> I wonder what would happen if I told my Mom the truth about the Toronto trip right now?
I missed a lot of threads before the trip. If I can ask, what does your mother think you were doing when you went to Toronto?
Posted by Deneb on May 26, 2006, at 15:11:26
In reply to What did you tell your mom? » Deneb, posted by pseudoname on May 26, 2006, at 14:43:55
> If I can ask, what does your mother think you were doing when you went to Toronto?
I told my Mom that I was going to Toronto with four of my friends. I had to give her names and everything. Fortunately she didn't ask too much about what we did. I said we went to the Zoo (which fills up an entire day :-) ), had ice cream and Chinese, went to the shoe museum and went shopping.
If she asks for pictures I have plenty from the shoe museum to show her. I'll say I forgot my camera for the Zoo.
I feel guilty about lying to her, but I can't tell her the truth now.
Going to Toronto is fairly believable for a weekend trip with friends. Going to California or Washington D.C. on the other hand, will take some explaining. LOL
I'm not sure I can pull off a trip to California next year. I haven't even found a job yet! Washington D.C. and San Francisco (if the Babble parties are going to coincide with the APA meetings of course) seems doable (assuming I would have a job by then of course). I especially want to go to San Francisco as I grew up close to there.
I don't know if I will have to keep up the lies.
Did you have to lie to anyone about the trip? Did anyone else have to lie? Or was I the only one?
Deneb*
Posted by Phillipa on May 26, 2006, at 19:51:37
In reply to Re: Larry wearing the Bob scarf » Phillipa, posted by Larry Hoover on May 26, 2006, at 7:33:04
Lar you are beautiful to me. Love Phillipa
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 28, 2006, at 8:33:00
In reply to Re: Larry wearing the Bob scarf » Larry Hoover, posted by Phillipa on May 26, 2006, at 19:51:37
> Lar you are beautiful to me. Love Phillipa
Bless you.
Lar
Posted by susan47 on May 28, 2006, at 14:25:44
In reply to Re: I brought up the idea of Calif. with my Mom » Deneb, posted by fallsfall on May 25, 2006, at 7:46:14
You said, "Lots of people (including the pdoc who sat behind you) think that the internet is solely a dangerous place. It CAN be a dangerous place - the whole world can be a dangerous place. But just like there are some areas of a city that it isn't a safe idea to walk through, there are other areas that are just fine and wonderful. The trick is figuring out how to tell the difference."
-...It just struck me, that is, of course, very true. It is a truism that the world can be a dangerous place and there are safe areas. It is ironic that after the exposure the profession has had about its own fallibilities and pitfalls, mistakes made, dangers encountered and victims left on both side of the fence .. is this man claiming that no one in his own profession is capable of displaying good judgment in a hazardous situationh?
Shouldn't the pdoc sitting behind Deneb give a little credibility to the mentally unbalanced for being capable of displaying good judgement?
What a hypocrite. Look at Yalom, in his book, justifying his seeing a friend's wife as client. In retrospect, things that turned out well can be justified ... this pdoc knows that. Doesn't he? It's scary. I wouldn't want to be one of his patients. He would make me ill.. I'm pretty sure of that. Or maybe not, maybe, if I really really needed his boundaries, the limits he sets, the type of therapy he practices, maybe I would need those boundaries ...
How ridiculous.
Sorry, Deneb, this stuff is aggravating for me. I wish it aggravated everyone. Aaaagggghhhhhhhhhhhhh. Enough,
kissy kissy. Place nice, nice-nice Susan.I
Posted by susan47 on May 28, 2006, at 14:35:36
In reply to Re: I brought up the idea of Calif. with my Mom  » fallsfall, posted by susan47 on May 28, 2006, at 14:25:44
And it was only an opinion and a heavily biased one at that. Just wanted to get my two cents in thanks.
> You said, "Lots of people (including the pdoc who sat behind you) think that the internet is solely a dangerous place. It CAN be a dangerous place - the whole world can be a dangerous place. But just like there are some areas of a city that it isn't a safe idea to walk through, there are other areas that are just fine and wonderful. The trick is figuring out how to tell the difference."
> -...It just struck me, that is, of course, very true. It is a truism that the world can be a dangerous place and there are safe areas. It is ironic that after the exposure the profession has had about its own fallibilities and pitfalls, mistakes made, dangers encountered and victims left on both sides of the fence ..
Is this man also saying that no one in his own profession is capable of displaying good judgment in a hazardous situation? Is every patient that incapable of reaching out for the proper guidance in a time of crisis? Should we all be treated as children because we act as children? That would make an awful lot of people walking around on leashes, sucking their thumbs ...
Shouldn't the pdoc sitting behind Deneb give a little credibility to his clients, (or patients, depending upon his own views, capabilities, and judgements) ..for being capable of displaying good judgement?
That would seem to be taking an awful lot of responsibility. I wouldn't want to be that pdoc, I couldn't imagine what a barrel of hypocritical non-laughs he would be ... sorry, I might be barred for inconspicuously and ill-advisedly sayingn that .. this is only an opinion and not the best-informed, just felt ...
Look at Yalom, in his book, justifying his seeing a friend's wife as client. In retrospect, things that turned out well can be justified ... this pdoc knows that. Doesn't he? It's scary. I wouldn't want to be one of his patients. He would make me ill.. I'm pretty sure of that. Or maybe not, maybe, if I really really needed his boundaries, the limits he sets, the type of therapy he practices, maybe I would need those boundaries ...
> How ridiculous.
> Sorry, Deneb, this stuff is aggravating for me. I wish it aggravated everyone. Aaaagggghhhhhhhhhhhhh. Enough,
> kissy kissy. Place nice, nice-nice Susan.
>
> I
>
Posted by susan47 on May 28, 2006, at 14:47:49
In reply to Larry wearing the Bob scarf, posted by Deneb on May 25, 2006, at 19:26:22
Deneb, it's so nice of you to share these, I really feel better about not being there, it's kind of nice :)... thanks (((Deneb)))
Posted by susan47 on May 28, 2006, at 14:51:24
In reply to Re: What did you tell your mom? » pseudoname, posted by Deneb on May 26, 2006, at 15:11:26
You might blow your mum's mind with a paradigm shift? Yeah, but it's the truth. Is she opposed to that? Would it hurt her, is she not able to change? Asking, you're taking so much responsibility for her and you might not be giving her credit for change.. it just feels like a block between you two. How come you're maintaining the status quo? Just asking. I might be way off base, usually that's the case anyway, hah.
Posted by susan47 on May 28, 2006, at 14:55:21
In reply to Re: What did you tell your mom? » pseudoname, posted by Deneb on May 26, 2006, at 15:11:26
> I feel guilty about lying to her, but I can't tell her the truth now.
>
But why not? She'd be hurt for sure, but less if you wait. And telling her might help you get what you need, and maybe it's what she needs to? She has to move forward in life too and if you just go and it sounds like this is what you need to do, you're capable of it and she's just telling you for your entire life that you're not .. because that's how she feels about herself, but you don't have that to take on, it isn't yours. You are capable, and so is she but she'll never see it if someone doesn't show her that. You can make this so fabulous for both of you, Deneb, I think, imo.
> Going to Toronto is fairly believable for a weekend trip with friends. Going to California or Washington D.C. on the other hand, will take some explaining. LOL
>
> I'm not sure I can pull off a trip to California next year. I haven't even found a job yet! Washington D.C. and San Francisco (if the Babble parties are going to coincide with the APA meetings of course) seems doable (assuming I would have a job by then of course). I especially want to go to San Francisco as I grew up close to there.
>
> I don't know if I will have to keep up the lies.
>
> Did you have to lie to anyone about the trip? Did anyone else have to lie? Or was I the only one?
>
> Deneb*
Posted by ed_uk on May 28, 2006, at 15:04:03
In reply to Re: Larry wearing the Bob scarf » Phillipa, posted by Larry Hoover on May 26, 2006, at 7:33:04
Hi Lar
I like your pic :)
Ed
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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