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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by twinb on March 12, 2006, at 10:21:19
Below is an explanation of the "feeling" my daughter gets. It's like an anxiety attack but different. It can be brought on by a pencil on a table or a harsh voice on the TV or just come from nowhere.
The most troubling part of the "feeling" is the intese fear and evil and filth that comes with it.
Is anyone here familiar with this type of symptom and what is it called? It seems different from other symptoms that I've read about including paranoia.
She is under a doctor's care, is med compliant, and has a dx of schizoaffective disorder.
Below is from P:
*************************************************
from something i wrote about 'the feeling:'
at three i woke up. i was immediately overcome with 'the feeling.' i call it 'the feeling' with my doctor and my family. it is very difficult to explain. it is like when you take off in a jet and the pressure pushes back on you, except it is coming in all directions and is unbearably intense. except the pressure isn.t pressure. it.s complete and total evil. squalor. filth. all the putrid pain and terror and horror that has ever been experienced in the world coming in at you from all directions and pulsating in your body so hard it feels like you are going to burst. i have compared it to how it would feel if you accidentally shot your own mother in the face and killed her. and that would even possibly be an understatement.
Posted by muffled on March 12, 2006, at 11:41:12
In reply to Can you name the symptom???, posted by twinb on March 12, 2006, at 10:21:19
Posted by gardenergirl on March 12, 2006, at 11:48:42
In reply to Above: violence***TRIGGER***violence (nm), posted by muffled on March 12, 2006, at 11:41:12
Posted by crazy teresa on March 12, 2006, at 15:10:51
In reply to Can you name the symptom???, posted by twinb on March 12, 2006, at 10:21:19
I'm sorry, twinb. It must be awful for all of you.
Posted by twinb on March 12, 2006, at 17:39:51
In reply to Above: violence***TRIGGER***violence (nm), posted by muffled on March 12, 2006, at 11:41:12
So sorry if I hurt anyone with this message!
Posted by sleepygirl on March 12, 2006, at 18:17:45
In reply to Can you name the symptom???, posted by twinb on March 12, 2006, at 10:21:19
although I'm glad to say I've never felt the intense "evil" thing
I'm guessing....
maybe things in the environment are seen as a trigger to some intense shame, a sort of delusion of reference - harsh voice on TV being about oneself, intense irrational guilt as part of depression, whatever it is it sounds awful, and I'm sorry she has to suffer with that
Posted by Dinah on March 12, 2006, at 18:31:00
In reply to Can you name the symptom???, posted by twinb on March 12, 2006, at 10:21:19
I have what I call shame attacks. They're similar to panic attacks in onset and intensity and lack of trigger or reason, but the thoughts are concerned with being unworthy or bad rather than being about fear. They come with the physical symptoms of shame, face flushing etc.
I figure it's similar to panic attacks in that something must trigger a physical reaction typically associated with shame, and then my brain searches for a reason for it, and I think thoughts that perpetuate the feeling, making things worse.
But that's just a guess.
Mine aren't as intense as what you describe, and they're clearly ego-dystonic. I'm aware at the time they're happening that they have no basis in reality, and that I really don't feel that way about myself.
It seems not unrelated to my obsessive compulsive disorder.
Posted by Phillipa on March 12, 2006, at 19:35:08
In reply to Re: Can you name the symptom??? » twinb, posted by Dinah on March 12, 2006, at 18:31:00
How old is your Daughter. Could it be the beginning of schizophenia? Not trying to scare you. But things talking to her? Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by twinb on March 12, 2006, at 20:13:25
In reply to Re: Can you name the symptom???, posted by Phillipa on March 12, 2006, at 19:35:08
Thank you all for your kind and helpful replies.
She's 23 and for right now the schizoaffective disorder dx fits.Someone on another board I go to referred to something called residual psychosis and also mentioned PTSD.
The PTSD makes sense because her break two years ago still frightens her. So any intense feeling may bring up fear that another break is coming and results in a huge panic/anxiety attack. She sometimes pops an extra Risperdal or takes a Xanas (per doctor's okay) and that helps.
Thanks again for your kindness.
The mom
Posted by sleepygirl on March 12, 2006, at 20:24:55
In reply to Re: Can you name the symptom??? » twinb, posted by Dinah on March 12, 2006, at 18:31:00
I think I experience something similar...from a memory or a reminder, like a sudden rush of shame...It's awful
and I have to sort of talk myself out of it, sort of switch it back off because it feels overwhelming, so I try to focus on some other thought, and I say "stop, stop, stop" or start singing some tune or something
..thankfully not as long as a panic attack, but still annoying
Posted by sleepygirl on March 12, 2006, at 20:28:43
In reply to Re: Can you name the symptom???, posted by twinb on March 12, 2006, at 20:13:25
interesting, makes sense according to her experience, maybe the feeling of helplessness and fear associated with the previous break
You sound like a really great mom. Best wishes to you. :-)
Posted by agent858 on March 12, 2006, at 21:02:15
In reply to Re: Can you name the symptom???, posted by twinb on March 12, 2006, at 20:13:25
okay it sounds to me...
there is a theorist called Brendan Maher and he talks about different anomalous experiences that are associated with delusions. i don't think he mentiones that one in particular, but he has some examples of delusional awareness etc and it sounds like that.
this intense (and sometimes - like in this case - intensely distressing) anomalous experience.
he thinks... that delusions are explanations for anomalous experiences. so that when the experience is intense and prolongued enough the person arrives an a delusion in the attempt to explain their anomalous experience.
so... in this case there is a distressing anomalous experience... it feels... shame...
and the related delusional theme is to do with being evil...
so i guess (according to Maher) if the experience is very distressing (in being intense and prolongued) then the likely delusional explanation would be about being evil.
so...
i think... medication might help?
does she have delusions of being evil sometimes?
i'm not sure... but i wonder whether one of the effects of the medication is to reduce the intensity (hence distress and preoccupation) with the anomalous expeirence.
i think it would be worth mentioning to her doctor and he might want to adjust her meds a bit.
i hope she starts to get that less often.
Posted by muffled on March 13, 2006, at 21:43:41
In reply to Re: Above: violence***TRIGGER***violence, posted by twinb on March 12, 2006, at 17:39:51
> So sorry if I hurt anyone with this message!
***Its ok.
Just kinda intense.
F*cking with my already f*cked mind.
Thats what trigger warnings are about.
But thats ok. You didn't know.
You wanted help for your kid.
Sure hope things ease up for her.
F*cking sucks man.
When its on your skin, and then it gets inside, and you can't stop it. Then the evils inside.
Yep, pretty much sucks.
Big f*cking pain in the psyche.
F*ck, f*ck, f*ck.
yep....
Wishing you well, must be hard.
This is the end of the thread.
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