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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 91 to 115 of 115. Go back in thread:
Posted by crazy teresa on October 15, 2005, at 12:11:27
In reply to I'm safe...Mom is home all day (nm), posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 12:06:22
Posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 12:34:03
In reply to very frustrated » alexandra_k, posted by rainbowbrite on October 15, 2005, at 8:38:35
Rainbowbite,
I started this thread because I was angry at you for telling me to put triggers up when I was in such an obviously distraught state. To me it seemed like you just wanted to upset me even more and push me to suicide. Yes, I was that upset. I thought that you were being selfish because your hurt wouldn't lead you to kill yourself, but your trying to alleviate your hurt could have possibility lead me to suicide and yet you still did it.
That is how badly I felt. It is selfish yes. That's all I can say. There is no rhyme or reason to how I feel. I'm insane, remember that.
Posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 12:36:45
In reply to Re: very frustrated » rainbowbrite, posted by Nickengland on October 15, 2005, at 8:58:34
> I have wrote long detailed posts to Deneb too in this thread and in the past about my Grandfather who commited suicide, when she was later blocked for joking about death. Only to have my posts not replied too.
Sorry I didn't reply to you. I was tired and didn't want to think.
Deneb
Posted by rainbowbrite on October 15, 2005, at 13:03:13
In reply to To rainbowbrite, why I got angry at you, posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 12:34:03
And I will return the curtisy to you.
>I thought that you were being selfish because your hurt wouldn't lead you to kill yourself
Selfish? I offered support and put it all on me, I said I couldnt explain why it got to me. I made myself vulnerable to you. I will rethink this in the future. Maybe it was bad timing but I dont know when the timing is good Deneb.
deneb it hurts that you would think this about me, I have spent enough time with you in open to think you'd know me better than that.Deneb the point was there was no trigger on that post, infact you had handled quite well and I was checking to see how you were. Had there been a trigger I probably wouldnt have read it. i accpet that that is my issue and that is why I babbled you. *I* was takin gresponsibiliity for *ME* asking you a favor. You could have replied and asked me? Instead the entire social board was disrupted regarding this.
i have a really good example of how to help you understand how peopple are triggered by certain things. I dont know if I can do this civilly but I will try, I have no feelings towards hamsters, none. So something to do with a hamster might not affect me one way or the other. But Im sure it would feel very different for you. i understand that. i understand that everyone has differnet values and beliefs. I understand that everyone gets upset over personalize issues. Hope that was ok.
I never ever said anything to lead you to believe that I would kill myself for being triggered by your post. Ever! and even if I had been *that* triggered, I would NEVER EVER tell someone or lead someone to believe that tehy were responsibile for my actions. We are all responsibile for our own actions and no one can drive another person to sucide! they cant. Im taking a much needed ativan now, becasue *I* have let myself get way too upset over this and *I* really dont need this right now.
I suppose... this thread was successful. Im sorry everyone that I babbled Deneb. It will never happen again.
Posted by rainbowbrite on October 15, 2005, at 13:05:18
In reply to Re: very frustrated » rainbowbrite, posted by crazy teresa on October 15, 2005, at 11:51:52
Thank you CT,
I will be. I need to get away from this and go out and clear my head.
It must be pms as well
Posted by crazy teresa on October 15, 2005, at 13:57:40
In reply to Re: very frustrated » crazy teresa, posted by rainbowbrite on October 15, 2005, at 13:05:18
We can't help you if you don't want to help yourself. There's just no way around this fact.
We have asked you repeatedly to get help. You choose not to. That is your choice, which I will respect.
In order to respect your choice, I will no longer post to you. I have tried to encourage you; yesterday I even tried some tough love, none of which motivated you to do what needs to be done.
I'm sorry you choose to suffer. (Yes, not getting help is the same as choosing to suffer.) It's come to the point where you seem to be mocking us because this has happened so frequently. I will no longer participate in whatever it is you're doing, be it unintentional or not.
Best of luck with your journey in life.
crazy teresa
Posted by Nickengland on October 15, 2005, at 14:00:47
In reply to Why I didn't reply to you » Nickengland, posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 12:36:45
Hello Deneb
>Need to understand triggers and suicide
>I want to ask you guys a question and I need answers. I need to understand this. I'm not sure that I really understand it.
>Why is suicide such a trigger for people? I don't understand why people get so upset over this. It is *I* who will die, not *you*. I don't get upset when I read about methods. I don't get too upset when others mention suicide.
-------------------------------------------------
>Rainbowbite,
>I started this thread because I was angry at you for telling me to put triggers up when I was in such an obviously distraught state.
>Sorry I didn't reply to you. I was tired and didn't want to think.
Thats okay I understand.
>Deneb
I've noticed babble has been quiet recently but this thread got 95 posts in 2 days (I did just count, perhaps thats unhealthy lol)
After all this discussion of suicide and I suffer from bipolar disorder, I don't feel its healthy for me to think about this subject anymore, in this context. The thing is i'm just realising now what this thread is actually all about from the original first subject line.
Hope you understand I don't really want to talk about this anymore personally, as I feel its become abit unhealthy for myself reading this thread.
Hope the information helped, although had I'd known you'd started this thread because you was angry at rainbowbrite, I would have perhaps worded it differently and not gone into such detail to which you didn't respond because of the reasons which I can now see why.
Kind regards
Nick
Posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 15:27:44
In reply to Re: Why I didn't reply to you » Deneb, posted by Nickengland on October 15, 2005, at 14:00:47
They don't have *any* ropes.
It must be the season change, no more boating supplies.
Bought something else instead.
Damn Walmart to hell
I smelled a familar scent today...that of death.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 15, 2005, at 15:47:32
In reply to F*ck Walmart, posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 15:27:44
Ah. Seems there was a lot more going on than I thought. I'm sorry people. :-(
>I started this thread because I was angry at you for telling me to put triggers up when I was in such an obviously distraught state.
The trouble is... That Rainbow was in a distraught state too.
>To me it seemed like you just wanted to upset me even more and push me to suicide. Yes, I was that upset.
And to Rainbow your response seemed to ignore her distress completely...
And when that happens...
People will withdraw from you.> I thought that you were being selfish because your hurt wouldn't lead you to kill yourself,
You can't know that. Or... At the very least it is a dangerous assumption to be making.
> but your trying to alleviate your hurt could have possibility lead me to suicide and yet you still did it.
The trouble is... We can't prevent you killing yourself if that is what you really want to do. Even if you are doing it as a matter of principal. If you really are determined then there is nothing we can do.
And...
People do try and talk to you to help you see things a little more clearly. People do talk to you about what you can do to get help IRL. People do talk to you about how things aren't irrevokable and how you still do have a future etc.
But all that... Takes an immense amount of effort. And when you don't seem to be willing to help yourself when you don't seem to be willing to even contact your doctor or to take your meds regularly or to contact someone irl for help... Well... If you are determined then there is nothing we can do.
People only have so much energy...
People try and get outside their distress to reach out to you in yours. But you really do need to try and be sensitive to that. Sensitive to other peoples distress. If you ignore their distress, if you don't appreciate that when people try and reach out to you that that takes a lot of effort then I think you will find... That people will get fed up. And ignore your distress. And turn toward supporting other people in theirs, other people who are more sensitive to others distress, other people who are willing to implement some of those concrete suggestions in their real life.
I have always tried to support you as best I can...
But we can only do so much on the boards.
It is up to you.
What are you going to do?Go to your doctor.
Maybe have some time in hospital to get yourself together.
To get yourself established on your meds.> That is how badly I felt. It is selfish yes. That's all I can say.
It is hard to empathise with others when one is very upset. I understand that. But you need to learn to act empathetically to others despite whether you actually feel it or not. One can feel one way... And act different. It is hard... But sometimes... One needs to learn.
> There is no rhyme or reason to how I feel. I'm insane, remember that.
You are really stressed about mid terms and missing some mid terms. Its understandable to be feeling stressed about now. Whats problematic... Is the intensity of your distress and how that blinkers your vision.
> They don't have *any* ropes.
>
> It must be the season change, no more boating supplies.
>
> Bought something else instead.
>
> Damn Walmart to hell
>
> I smelled a familar scent today...that of death.I'm not going to respond to posts like that.
No more.Get some help IRL.
People have offered some really great suggestions to you.The choice is up to you...
I don't think you want to die
I think you want the pain to stop
I think you want to learn how to properly connect to others
I think you want to do things with your life and believe you are capable of doing themBut maybe you will choose to anyway.
I know you don't want the choice...
You want others to take it out of your hands
But other people can't save youIt is up to you...
Posted by alexandra_k on October 15, 2005, at 15:48:26
In reply to Re: very frustrated » crazy teresa, posted by rainbowbrite on October 15, 2005, at 13:05:18
i didn't know all that.
i apologise for being insensitive - i didn't know that other stuff was going on too.
Posted by NikkiT2 on October 15, 2005, at 15:57:18
In reply to F*ck Walmart, posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 15:27:44
Deneb,
You cannot refuse to get help, and ten post something like this.
It worries us ALL terribly, and upsets us all terribly.
Please, I am actually begging you here, please ring your crisis centre.. call the hospital.. You *have* to tell someone other than us.
Please.
Nikki
Posted by Declan on October 15, 2005, at 15:58:19
In reply to F*ck Walmart, posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 15:27:44
Why not read sylvia Plath instead. Or Dorothy Parker. I can never find my books, but...
'something something
nooses give
poison tastes awful
You might as well live.'But seriously, Lady Lazarus or Daddy.
'Ash ash you poke and stir
Flesh bone there is nothing there
a cake of soap, a gold filling, a wedding ring'Walmart of itself is a health hazard, no?
Declan
Posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 16:22:55
In reply to F*ck Walmart, posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 15:27:44
Posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 16:24:44
In reply to Going to see pdoc on Weds, will prob. survive (nm), posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 16:22:55
Posted by alexandra_k on October 15, 2005, at 18:39:22
In reply to Going to see pdoc on Weds, will prob. survive (nm), posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 16:22:55
did you tell him that?
it would be better if he could see you BEFORE wednesday
Posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 19:58:38
In reply to Re: this counts as an emergency, posted by alexandra_k on October 15, 2005, at 18:39:22
The p-doc appointment on Weds was booked 2 weeks ago. I think I should be OK.
I'm going to lay low for a while until things go back to normal for me and others.
Posted by TofuEmmy on October 15, 2005, at 20:06:09
In reply to Feeling much better now, posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 19:58:38
I think this is one of those situations when Bob should contact her ISP and have them contact the police, just in case. She did say she bought a tool for suicide at Walmart. Isn't that enough to warrant sending some help?? Perhaps her school should notify her parents.
It sounds like the same situation as ....whatshername....from CA. Bob called the police three times on her I think.
emmy
Posted by Nickengland on October 15, 2005, at 20:07:44
In reply to Feeling much better now, posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 19:58:38
You might want to discuss with your doctor the possiblity of rapid cycling induced from any antidepressant medication you're taking.
Posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 23:23:42
In reply to Feeling much better now, posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 19:58:38
I don't know what I've done...
I did a very bad thing, posting here
I'm scared.
Please don't contact my ISP.
I'm seriously terrified right now of what I have done.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 16, 2005, at 15:12:33
In reply to I'm really scared now, posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 23:23:42
hey. i don't think you have to apologise.
i hope you know that you can babblemail or email me if you want to talk about things.
i'm sorry you have such a hard time of it sometimes.
((((Deneb)))))
i miss you when you aren't around.
you are a good person, Deneb.
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 16, 2005, at 19:14:44
In reply to To rainbowbrite, why I got angry at you, posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 12:34:03
> Kill me people, kill me!
> No one believes my suffering.
> To me it seemed like you just wanted to upset me even more and push me to suicide... I thought that you were being selfish...
First, in a crisis, please also get help in person.
Please don't suggest that people harm you, jump to conclusions about them, or post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down. Sorry, but the last time you were blocked it was for 2 weeks, so this time it's for 4.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by 10derHeart on October 16, 2005, at 21:15:59
In reply to Re: blocked for 4 weeks » Deneb, posted by Dr. Bob on October 16, 2005, at 19:14:44
Please take care. If you want to keep in touch during your block by regular email, I'd be willing. I'm worried about you. I don't want to post my email address here, though. Maybe if Alex (or any other Babbler?) already has yours, you'd allow them to Babblemail it to me?(((Deneb))) Be well. You are valued and loved.
Posted by wildcard on October 16, 2005, at 21:49:56
In reply to Sorry, Deneb, posted by 10derHeart on October 16, 2005, at 21:15:59
Deneb~This would be a good chance to make the decision to get some serious help *IF* you think you need or want it. Look at it as a breather and understand that people do care about you here and IRL. You are a very smart young lady so hang in there and never be afraid to ask for anything.
Posted by alesta on October 17, 2005, at 19:46:37
In reply to Re: Why won't you get help?, posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 1:47:13
hi, deneb..:) i hope this bad episode has passed for ya..it's kinda funny..i too came to the realization that it is pretty difficult to ensure that you kill yourself..to know for sure that you won't botch it, so i just banished that option from my mind from then on..my life improved when i stopped viewing it as an option...
sorry for the serious reply instead of cheerful greeting to an old friend. hope you're feeling better now!
take care,
amy
Posted by alesta on October 20, 2005, at 11:17:41
In reply to Re: Why won't you get help? » Deneb, posted by alesta on October 17, 2005, at 19:46:37
hm..my post must've seemed really out of touch after all that happened in this thread. the reason is that i only had half an hour when i posted that reply to read a week's worth of posts and post as well, so my skimming sometimes leaves me seeming out of touch with the goings on...just had to notify you people so you don't think i'm in outer space...lol
on that note, jenny, after reading through the thread and seeing that you're blocked, well, i hope you're doing okay. i know it can be a rough transition to stop posting here. i remember you posting to me when i was blocked, and i thought that was really sweet of you. i didn't read this thread in depth, so i'll just say that i hope you're okay..:) the time'll fly by. you'll see.:)
(and i hope everybody who posted in this thread is okay, too.)
take care of yourself,
amy
This is the end of the thread.
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