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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 9 to 33 of 38. Go back in thread:
Posted by Deneb on August 17, 2005, at 21:46:36
In reply to Re: Discrimination against me? » Deneb, posted by Ilene on August 17, 2005, at 21:33:38
> I don't think Dr. Bob's discriminating against you. I think he's just busy and doesn't have time to post much.
Maybe you are right, or maybe he's genuinally afraid of me. :-(
> Gee, this is the first time anyone has wanted to join the Depression Club.Well, according to my p-doc, I've been in the club several times. I'm not sure if I really belonged, but whatever.
Deneb
Posted by Ilene on August 17, 2005, at 22:10:16
In reply to Re: Discrimination against me? » Ilene, posted by Deneb on August 17, 2005, at 21:46:36
> > Gee, this is the first time anyone has wanted to join the Depression Club.
>
> Well, according to my p-doc, I've been in the club several times. I'm not sure if I really belonged, but whatever.
>
That reminds me of the Groucho Marx joke--he wouldn't want to join any club that would have him as a member.I.
Posted by Phil on August 17, 2005, at 22:30:06
In reply to Re: I think I made a fool of myself :-(, posted by Deneb on August 17, 2005, at 21:11:58
> > Babble's a richer place for having you here Deneb.
>
> Really? Do I really make this place more interesting?
>
> Deneb>>Yep..like it or not. You're one of us. I prefer to think of posters here as an 'elite ensemble'. ; )
Posted by spriggy on August 17, 2005, at 22:58:23
In reply to Re: I think I made a fool of myself :-(, posted by Phil on August 17, 2005, at 22:30:06
I think it's important for us all to remember that he isn't here for us to build a relationship with, he is here gathering information and data.
I don't think his intention is to ignore anyone, he is a professional doing his job where some of us are here trying to make friends.
Try not to take it personal. You seem like a great person.
Posted by 10derHeart on August 17, 2005, at 23:28:18
In reply to Re: I think I made a fool of myself :-(, posted by Deneb on August 17, 2005, at 19:52:58
I don't think you're foolish.
You're *you*
Trying to find your way in a sometimes scary, confusing world (inner and outer).
This is THE place for that. People care and they are getting to know you. It takes a while sometimes. But they are, don't you think?
They will try to kindly give you other ways to look at things if you seem to be in a bad place.
They won't later remember those moments as "wrong," "bad," or "foolish." Babblers just aren't inclined to keep score or even think that way. That's one reason it's awesome to hang out here!
I'll bet if you do get to come to a Babble party or something, you'll discover this is a VERY forgiving bunch, for whatever you think you might have done...and they have long since forgotten!:-)
I'm glad you're here.
Posted by 10derHeart on August 17, 2005, at 23:31:11
In reply to about Dr. Bob, posted by spriggy on August 17, 2005, at 22:58:23
Posted by alexandra_k on August 18, 2005, at 0:28:00
In reply to Discrimination against me?, posted by Deneb on August 17, 2005, at 18:58:49
LOL!
He doesn't just ignore you, he ignores most of us.
I think he only answers questions about the boards.
He is here to facilitate our supporting and educating one another.
If he participated then that would interfeare with our supporting and educating one another because people would turn to him instead and it would be harder for him to remain relatively objective.So... Don't take it personally...
Besides which, do you really want me to go trawling through the archives for all the times he hasn't ignored you????!
;-)
Posted by justyourlaugh on August 18, 2005, at 1:37:49
In reply to Discrimination against me?, posted by Deneb on August 17, 2005, at 18:58:49
girl..i had to post..
i still feel very hurt..(feeling very hurt) at your self indulgent views towards borderlines..
...?
i will not be put down..
and will not feel "blame" about a disorder because (i feel) you are grasping for pity..
dr bob...is not a member of this site...he is a moderator..he can not post to you! or me..or anyone else...
watch how you words your anger...we do not want to be your goat...
Posted by NikkiT2 on August 18, 2005, at 6:01:38
In reply to Re: Discrimination against me? » Deneb, posted by justyourlaugh on August 18, 2005, at 1:37:49
*hugs you*
I know how you're feeling.. And I'm too weary to fight her feelings today..
I will get back to fighting the discrimination...
Nikki x
Posted by Deneb on August 18, 2005, at 9:14:50
In reply to Re: Discrimination against me? » Deneb, posted by justyourlaugh on August 18, 2005, at 1:37:49
> girl..i had to post..
> i still feel very hurt..(feeling very hurt) at your self indulgent views towards borderlines..
> ...?I'm sorry you're feeling hurt, but I really don't know what I did to make you feel hurt. I don't understand why I always seem to hurt you. Can you explain it to me so that I might understand?
> i will not be put down..
> and will not feel "blame" about a disorder because (i feel) you are grasping for pity..I'm sorry you feel put down, but I'm a little confused because my intention was not to put anyone down. I'm afraid to say that your comments hurt me, especially the "grasping for pity" part. I'm sorry for being me. I'm sorry I don't understand why I do the things that I do and I'm sorry I can't control myself better and be a "normal" person. Can you explain to me what it is I do that hurts you all the time? I really don't get it. :-( I'm starting to think I'm just a really horrible person. I don't blame my "disorder".
> dr bob...is not a member of this site...he is a moderator..he can not post to you! or me..or anyone else...
I did not expect him to post to me in a social way. I actually asked him an admin question over at Admin. I contributed to a thread where he himself mentioned that his current photos might be manipulated.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050728/msgs/541432.html
Dr. Bob sometimes jokes around with other posters, but not with me.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050728/msgs/541432.html
> watch how you words your anger...we do not want to be your goat...
Again I really truly do not understand. By "goat" do you mean sacrifice? How am I doing this? I'm really sorry I don't have more insight into things. Please forgive my lack of insight, it is not my intention to hurt others.
Deneb
Posted by Deneb on August 18, 2005, at 9:36:23
In reply to about Dr. Bob, posted by spriggy on August 17, 2005, at 22:58:23
> I think it's important for us all to remember that he isn't here for us to build a relationship with, he is here gathering information and data.
Information and data? About what? Is he doing research on us?
> I don't think his intention is to ignore anyone, he is a professional doing his job where some of us are here trying to make friends.
He's not a professional here, he's just the administrator. He's just a regular guy making sure the boards run smoothly.
He does joke around with people once in a while. I'm just a little sad that he won't joke around with me.
Deneb
Posted by Dinah on August 18, 2005, at 9:55:40
In reply to Re: Discrimination against me? » justyourlaugh, posted by Deneb on August 18, 2005, at 9:14:50
I think the issue may be a misunderstanding on whether or not you consider yourself to have borderline personality disorder.
If you do consider yourself to have borderline personality disorder, and you say "I don't have a disorder like the rest of you, I'm just a terrible person" it would be easy to infer that you consider those with borderline personality disorder to be terrible people rather than people with a legitimate and treatable disorder.
However, I think, and I may be wrong, that you do not believe that you have borderline personality disorder. And that your pdoc has said you have no disorder at all. (Although I must be mistaken since didn't you just say she's said you're depressed?)
Although, it never fills me with joy to hear the words "I don't have disorders like the rest of you do", as I think I've pointed out in the past. I don't think we're as disordered as you seem to think we are.
Posted by AuntieMel on August 18, 2005, at 14:21:53
In reply to Re: Discrimination against me? » Deneb, posted by justyourlaugh on August 18, 2005, at 1:37:49
AuntieMel here, *not* acting as deputy for Dr. Bob
>>> self indulgent views towards borderlines..
I'm sorry you're hurt, but please be careful not to say anything that might put down others. For posting policies, please refer to:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Thanks
PS Follow-ups regarding posting policies, and complaints about posts, should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. And, of course, all follow-ups should be civil themselves.
babblemail to follow
Posted by caraher on August 18, 2005, at 16:27:27
In reply to Discrimination against me?, posted by Deneb on August 17, 2005, at 18:58:49
You're not evil, you very much belong here, and we'd all miss you terribly if you weren't here!
Posted by alexandra_k on August 18, 2005, at 16:29:25
In reply to Re: Discrimination against me? » Deneb, posted by justyourlaugh on August 18, 2005, at 1:37:49
(((Jyl)))
I'm sorry you are hurting.
I know that it can be hard to hear some of the things people say about BPD :-(
Its a hard disorder to get ones head around...I really don't think...
That Deneb means to hurt other people with what she says.
She strikes me as struggling with how to view this.Maybe if you tell her how you feel in response she might come to understand?
Posted by alexandra_k on August 18, 2005, at 16:42:36
In reply to Re: Discrimination against me? » justyourlaugh, posted by Deneb on August 18, 2005, at 9:14:50
> I'm sorry you feel put down, but I'm a little confused because my intention was not to put anyone down.
I know.
>I'm really starting to think that maybe Dr. Bob is discriminating against me because I don't have a "real" mental disorder like other people here.
I guess thats where other people with BPD may feel like you are saying that BPD isn't a "real" mental disorder. And that is invalidating of their very real struggle.
>Some people have the genetic makeup that predisposes them to things like depression and bipolar disorder. Those people cannot help it if they are disordered, it is not their fault.
So some people have more of a genetic component...
And other people have more of an environmental component...
But either way, we don't choose either our genes or our environment...
So its nobodies fault either way
(And I'm sure you didn't mean to imply that BPD is the fault of the people who experience it)>This is not the case for me. I'm just a horrible person and not one will have sympathy for me even if I kill myself because it was all my fault. Even writing this shows what a terrible person I am. I can't help it, but I can and I don't.
Try not to beat yourself up.
I don't think you deserve to be beated up for what you say
It's more that there are consequences for the things you say.
If people respond to those kind of posts with attention and sympathy
Then you will make these kind of posts in order to get attention and sympathy.
That isn't to say it is something you do consciously
But we are more likely to repeat behaviours that have led to favourable outcomes.
Whereas if people ignore those kinds of posts...
They will get worse for a time...
And if people continue to ignore them...
They will cease.
Most especially if you learn more appropriate ways of getting attention and sympathy.So...
If you find that people ignore those kinds of posts...
That may well be why.
Because people are trying to help you.
Make sense?
>I actually asked him an admin question over at Admin. I contributed to a thread where he himself mentioned that his current photos might be manipulated.Yeah. If you don't get a response to an admin type question in a couple days or so then post the question again... A few of those tends to induce a response ;-)
> Dr. Bob sometimes jokes around with other posters, but not with me.
He has talked to you before...
But he is also probably trying to be careful with respect to reinforcing certain kinds of posts...Don't look to him Deneb,
Look to us.> > I think it's important for us all to remember that he isn't here for us to build a relationship with, he is here gathering information and data.
>Information and data? About what? Is he doing research on us?
I don't think the main purpose of the site is research...
The main purpose is to provide a forum for us to support and educate one another.
But its nice to report findings / provide feedback to professionals.
It would be nice if community mental health funded internet access for online support sites one day in the future
(Might cut down Crisis calls and calls to lifeline etc)>He does joke around with people once in a while. I'm just a little sad that he won't joke around with me.
He does sometimes...
But he doesn't do it often in general.
I think mostly...
When the general feeling is that people are mighty pissed about something...
Posted by Deneb on August 18, 2005, at 20:44:34
In reply to If I may?, posted by Dinah on August 18, 2005, at 9:55:40
> If you do consider yourself to have borderline personality disorder, and you say "I don't have a disorder like the rest of you, I'm just a terrible person" it would be easy to infer that you consider those with borderline personality disorder to be terrible people rather than people with a legitimate and treatable disorder.
I think I understand that. The thing is, I *do* think I have a mild BPD (that's what my p-doc said). I don't think that BPD is not a real and serious disorder that is untreatable, I just think that for *me* it isn't.
I guess I have problems with thinking that the laws of physics or whatever applies to me. (Figuratively speaking of course). For example, whatever *I* have is untreatable and hopeless, but for *other* people it is treatable...get what I mean? I keep thinking I'm an exception to the rules.
So, when I say that me having a BPD is horrible etc, I mean it only for *me* and not others with BPD.
> Although, it never fills me with joy to hear the words "I don't have disorders like the rest of you do", as I think I've pointed out in the past. I don't think we're as disordered as you seem to think we are.
Sorry about that. I did not intend to use the word "disorders" in a negative way. The thing is, you guys seem WAY more sane than me. I'm simply amazed at how functional most people are here despite their mental hardships.
Deneb
Posted by Deneb on August 18, 2005, at 21:24:40
In reply to Re: Discrimination against me? » Deneb, posted by alexandra_k on August 18, 2005, at 16:42:36
> I guess thats where other people with BPD may feel like you are saying that BPD isn't a "real" mental disorder. And that is invalidating of their very real struggle.
Sorry about that. In my mind I meant that BPD for *me* isn't a real disorder, but for *other* people it is. I know this doesn't make much sense, but I really believe this. I think that I'm an exception to the laws of the universe or something. :-( That is also why I don't think therapy or medication can help me like they do for other people.
> (And I'm sure you didn't mean to imply that BPD is the fault of the people who experience it)
No, I didn't mean that. I was just showing that I am taking responsibility for the horrible things I do and I'm not blaming any disorder. I guess it sort of came out wrong and I made others with BPD feel bad.
> Most especially if you learn more appropriate ways of getting attention and sympathy.
It's so complicated. I must sound really stupid or something, but it is. I thought I was doing much better with my posts. I'm not sure what's appropriate or not.
> So...
> If you find that people ignore those kinds of posts...
> That may well be why.
> Because people are trying to help you.
> Make sense?I guess so, but it's difficult to imagine that people can ignore me and want to help me at the same time.
>If you don't get a response to an admin type question in a couple days or so then post the question again... A few of those tends to induce a response ;-)
I don't think we are allowed to post the same information twice. It's OK, something will distract me away from this issue and I will probably forget all about it soon.
> > Dr. Bob sometimes jokes around with other posters, but not with me.
>
> He has talked to you before...
> But he is also probably trying to be careful with respect to reinforcing certain kinds of posts...I personally don't think he thinks about reinforcing posts when he responds or doesn't respond. He probably just doesn't feel like responding for whatever reason. I don't expect him to respond to anything other than Admin questions and posts. I don't think he cares about us enough to get to know any of us. He probably doesn't even know who I am, much less think of something as elaborate as behaviour modification for posts to "help" me or anything!
> Don't look to him Deneb,
> Look to us.I'm not looking to him. I think it's projection gone haywire. Sorry I can't control this better.
> But its nice to report findings / provide feedback to professionals.
Eeek, I hope I don't stand out too much. I stand out don't I?
Thanks again Alexandra, you always help me understand things.
Deneb
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 18, 2005, at 21:37:08
In reply to Re: Please be civil » justyourlaugh, posted by AuntieMel on August 18, 2005, at 14:21:53
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 18, 2005, at 21:37:11
In reply to Re: Discrimination against me? » justyourlaugh, posted by Deneb on August 18, 2005, at 9:14:50
> he himself mentioned that his current photos might be manipulated.
Right, so what's the question?
Bob
Posted by Dinah on August 18, 2005, at 22:12:36
In reply to Re: If I may? » Dinah, posted by Deneb on August 18, 2005, at 20:44:34
I was just trying to explain what I thought might have happened.
I'm sorry I misunderstood. So your psychiatrist has diagnosed you with mild borderline personality disorder?
It really is a physiological condition, you know.
http://www.biopsychiatry.com/acetph.htm
And there is evidence that it responds to therapy, and to some extent medications. But you have to be open to the possibility that help is available for you in order to take advantage of it.
You really aren't different from most people here you know. We deal with anxiety disorders, and mood disorders, and personality disorders. If you have BPD, you're one of us. A fairly large percentage of the population is diagnosable with some emotional disorder at some point in their lives. (I prefer emotional to mental, I think.) It's just that not all of them seek help.
Posted by Deneb on August 18, 2005, at 22:16:28
In reply to Re: Discrimination against me? » justyourlaugh, posted by Deneb on August 18, 2005, at 9:14:50
>I contributed to a thread where he himself mentioned that his current photos might be manipulated.
>
(the first link I posted here was incorrect)It should be:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050728/msgs/538172.html
Posted by Deneb on August 18, 2005, at 22:19:05
In reply to Re: photos might be manipulated, posted by Dr. Bob on August 18, 2005, at 21:37:11
> > he himself mentioned that his current photos might be manipulated.
>
> Right, so what's the question?
>
> Bob:-(
Dr. Bob sounds very angry with me. :-(
I'm sorry for being annoying. :-(
Posted by Deneb on August 18, 2005, at 22:30:32
In reply to Re: photos might be manipulated, posted by Deneb on August 18, 2005, at 22:19:05
I feel absolutely terrible now for how I treated Dr. Bob and others here.
I'm so sorry. I'm sure Dr. Bob is not heartless. He probably cares. Maybe I hurt his feelings.
People here probably care about me, but I always forget.
Why does everything always end so badly for me?
Deneb
Posted by Dinah on August 18, 2005, at 22:31:11
In reply to Re: photos might be manipulated, posted by Deneb on August 18, 2005, at 22:19:05
That's not annoyed. That's his literalness.
Just give him the link to your question, or re-ask it.
If I understand correctly, you're asking his permission to take his photo and add green hair? I think what people do is just send him the altered photos.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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