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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Cass on August 8, 2005, at 19:59:30
Hi everyone,
I don't have a lot of experience with children. I was the youngest child in my family. I haven't had children. I don't know many people who have small kids, and I don't work with kids. So you see, my knowledge of kids is pretty limited. I care about their well-being, but I don't crave having them in my life. Soon my 5 year old neice will be visiting. I really want to bond with her and have a relationship with her, but I don't really know how to do that. I'm sort of nervous about how this is going to go. I need some good advice here. I need to know how to establish trust and a good relationship.
Posted by rainbowbrite on August 9, 2005, at 5:07:23
In reply to How do I bond with my neice?, posted by Cass on August 8, 2005, at 19:59:30
Hi Cass,
Firstly remember to speak to her at her level.
I have found kids to be really trusting so I dont think you have to worry about developing the trust so much as you do keeping it. To keep it just avoid breaking promises, if you say you will go somewhere or take her somewhere make sure you do...
Ok so things to do with a 5 year old girl! FUN
Take her shopping for girlie things, take her to a movie, or rent a movie and get junkfood, take her for a manicure, take her to starbucks for a hot chocolate (I have found they love this becasue they feel like an adult), an amusement park (depending on what you like to do of course). I think its important you are confident with her, they like that. and importantly dont let her walk all over you. Oh yeah and depending on her maturity level I would watch the baby talk thingy, that seems to annoy kids, in my experience they like being talk to like they are a mini adult.
The other thing you could do is ask her what she wants to do and go from there, but do have some ideas so you arent stuck with, what know?Have fun with her, they are so cute at that age. Im sure you will have a great time!
BTW- i have no kids, my suggestions are coming from experience with other peoples kids. ive done all of the above and every kid has survived, only once was vomit involved LOL ok twice, sorry had to add the warning. :-P
Posted by wildcard on August 9, 2005, at 12:03:31
In reply to Re: How do I bond with my neice? » Cass, posted by rainbowbrite on August 9, 2005, at 5:07:23
i have 2 of my own and couldn't have said it better...have FUN!! it sometimes brings out the kid in u again too :)
Posted by Cass on August 9, 2005, at 21:35:54
In reply to Re: How do I bond with my neice? » rainbowbrite, posted by wildcard on August 9, 2005, at 12:03:31
Thanks so much for your replies. I can see what I need to focus on -- confidence and having fun. Those are probably things I need to focus on in general. I have some other neices who are almost all grown up, and I hardly know them at all. They are the children of a sibling who I'm not close to. But I really want to be close to this little neice of mine. I appreciate your advice.
Posted by happyflower on August 10, 2005, at 7:29:34
In reply to Re: How do I bond with my neice?, posted by Cass on August 9, 2005, at 21:35:54
I would suggest reading books to her, drawing pictures, renting movies, going for ice cream. It doesn't have to be expensisive stuff, as long as you give her some of your time. Try to find out what she likes to do, and do some of that stuff.
Posted by Snoozin on August 10, 2005, at 20:22:23
In reply to How do I bond with my neice?, posted by Cass on August 8, 2005, at 19:59:30
I was scared to death when my nephew was born -- we hadn't had a child in the family for almost 20 years, and none of my friends has kids. Absolutely *0* child experience.
Now, I've got a great relationship with my nephew. I agree with everything everyone said. I would probably also bring one little gift (toy)to her right when you meet, something small. Kids seem to get so excited when you give them a little present. Not to bribe them, but I think they, like all people, like to think you were thinking of them....
Posted by Cass on August 10, 2005, at 20:28:16
In reply to Re: How do I bond with my neice?, posted by Snoozin on August 10, 2005, at 20:22:23
Those seem like really good suggestions, Happy and Snooz'n. Do you have any ideas for what the small gift could be?
Posted by wildcard on August 10, 2005, at 21:14:52
In reply to Re: How do I bond with my neice?, posted by Cass on August 10, 2005, at 20:28:16
5 u say...i have boys so i may be off but something w/ Dora the explorer?..or a pretty doll that she can play dress up? U cld even go to a $ store and get a few different things really cheap and put them in a giftbag. Coloring book w/ crayons, dollie, bubbles, etc.. There is plenty at dollar stores that kids love! I wish i cld be of more help but i was a tomboy and the only *girlish* thing that i ever liked and still do is the Carebears :) u cld always ask her parents what character or theme she likes. Good luck!
Posted by Cass on August 11, 2005, at 19:11:25
In reply to Re: How do I bond with my neice?, posted by happyflower on August 10, 2005, at 7:29:34
Those are more good ideas, thanks. I had never heard of Dora the Explorer, but I looked it up, and it looks pretty cool. I also thought, at some point, I might buy her a disposable camera, so she can take her own photos. I also appreciate the suggestion of spending time with her, drawing, reading, or whatever. Maybe I'll get a puzzle we can do.
Posted by Snoozin on August 11, 2005, at 20:52:18
In reply to Re: How do I bond with my neice?, posted by Cass on August 11, 2005, at 19:11:25
Oh my nephew LOVES playing with a disposable camera! That sounds like a great idea!!!!
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