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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 40. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by crushedout on July 19, 2005, at 13:56:42
I used to be a psychology board junkie but now the only board I'm really hooked on is Admin. I don't know what happened to me. Maybe this post belongs on the Substance Abuse board.
Posted by Jen Star on July 19, 2005, at 14:00:41
In reply to I've become an Admin junkie, posted by crushedout on July 19, 2005, at 13:56:42
I'm glad you posted this! I am a junkie for admin TOO! (We must be buying the same "high quality" stuff!) Even though I know it's only going to cause me grief...even though I know I might respond too quickly and get in trouble... I keep reading, and reading, and reading. It's just so fascinating and complex, I guess.
Maybe we need to develop a 12-step program to quit admin. :) We can call it ADA for "Admin Anonymous"...
(But I don't think I'll really quit!)
JenStar
Posted by AuntieMel on July 19, 2005, at 14:03:30
In reply to Re: I've become an Admin junkie » crushedout, posted by Jen Star on July 19, 2005, at 14:00:41
I really need to get a life.
Posted by crushedout on July 19, 2005, at 14:03:39
In reply to Re: I've become an Admin junkie » crushedout, posted by Jen Star on July 19, 2005, at 14:00:41
I can quit whenever I want! yeah...that's the ticket. yeah, i just don't want to. yeah.
Posted by crushedout on July 19, 2005, at 14:07:13
In reply to I've become an Admin junkie, posted by crushedout on July 19, 2005, at 13:56:42
I think yesterday was so active on Admin (and, let's admit it folks: exciting, even if unpleasant -- like a disaster movie, or rubbernecking at a car crash, or reality tv), that today I'm going through Admin withdrawal.
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 20:17:54
In reply to I'm glad to know I'm not alone, posted by crushedout on July 19, 2005, at 14:07:13
I used to be really drawn into the sturm and drang of human interaction that shows itself at its most intense on Admin. Perhaps because of my lack of familiarity with that sort of thing (except in my parents). But eventually it starts to pale. Maybe because on the occasions where something really unusual that has happened rarely if ever before comes along it inspires me more with sadness than anything else. But it took years to get there. I used to be outraged on a weekly basis.
Maybe I started giving people more credit than I used to? Like I rarely race to Dr. Bob's defense anymore (at least compared to old times) because I've learned he can handle what comes his way. I also learned that my interventions rarely ended happily. Admin is good for those of us impaired with windmill tilting tendencies. It's a painful cure, but effective.
And general poster to poster friendly advice, not directed to anyone but rather to everyone. Dr. Bob hasn't hit the boards yet. Does anyone have anything they'd like to amend before he does?
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 20:20:09
In reply to Admin addiction, posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 20:17:54
I'm still addicted to watching administration in action. And understanding the why's of the rules, as well as the intricate permutations.
If I happen to be on my way to bed, and see Dr. Bob on board, I'll sometimes stay up to watch him administrate.
So I'm not only a therapy-theory geek, but an admin-theory geek as well. Hmmmm.....
Posted by crazy teresa on July 19, 2005, at 20:27:00
In reply to Re: Admin addiction amendment, posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 20:20:09
Posted by crushedout on July 19, 2005, at 20:29:44
In reply to Re: Admin addiction amendment, posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 20:20:09
I suspect I was too sarcastic. Do you agree, Dinah? Anyone? What should I do to make amends?I guess I could apologize to Dr. Bob and the board?
Posted by crazy teresa on July 19, 2005, at 20:31:51
In reply to Re: Admin addiction amendment » Dinah, posted by crushedout on July 19, 2005, at 20:29:44
I thought it was cute! ;~}
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 20:37:30
In reply to Re: Admin addiction amendment » Dinah, posted by crushedout on July 19, 2005, at 20:29:44
A pre-emptive rephrase never hurts. It may or may not help, but it never hurts. Neither does an apology. Not that it will necessarily help, because I'm sure Dr. Bob takes a lot of things into account. Including sincerity.
I wouldn't say anything you couldn't say sincerely. :)
Posted by crushedout on July 19, 2005, at 20:40:42
In reply to Re: Admin addiction amendment » crushedout, posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 20:37:30
hmm, that's tough. can i maybe babblemail you about this?
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 20:55:00
In reply to Re: Admin addiction amendment » Dinah, posted by crushedout on July 19, 2005, at 20:40:42
It's a tricky thing, because I would hate to see Dr. Bob quit giving apologies any weight because people routinely use them.
But on the other hand, I can understand how passions could have gotten out of hand yesterday.
By the way, I really wasn't hinting about you personally. I was too busy opening and closing posts so that I could see any new ones at a glance that I didn't really get a chance to go over posts that closely. My goal in the limited time I had was to watch for problems from that point out.
I'm sure Dr. Bob will be more meticulous.
Posted by crushedout on July 19, 2005, at 20:57:14
In reply to Anytime » crushedout, posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 20:55:00
Posted by thuso on July 19, 2005, at 22:09:00
In reply to Admin addiction, posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 20:17:54
> And general poster to poster friendly advice, not directed to anyone but rather to everyone. Dr. Bob hasn't hit the boards yet. Does anyone have anything they'd like to amend before he does?
>I was wondering why it was so quiet on the Admin board. I'm really curious to see his reaction to all that was said and what actions he takes. So many posts have been made on Admin since he last posted, I wonder how long it will take him to read them all. Poor guy!!! hahaha!
Posted by alexandra_k on July 20, 2005, at 1:21:33
In reply to Re: Admin addiction » Dinah, posted by thuso on July 19, 2005, at 22:09:00
I like admin too.
Sometimes it worries me a little how much.
Sometimes I think it detracts me from the purpose of the boards...
Sometimes I worry about how upset I can get over there sometimes.
Sometimes I think it is a good thing. I'm learning stuff over there. I really believe that.
Balance I suppose...
Posted by greyskyeyes on July 20, 2005, at 12:39:01
In reply to Admin addiction, posted by Dinah on July 19, 2005, at 20:17:54
Yeah, for me it was like this phase I went through when I watched "Days of Our Lives" (apologies to any soap opera watchers, I mean no offense!). I was a bit embarrassed that I did it and I found the whole situation ludicrous yet I couldn't turn away from the plot twists as they grew exponentially weirder...
Lucky for me I'm such a rabbit when it comes to confrontation, otherwise I would have lept boldly into the fray.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 20, 2005, at 13:10:38
In reply to Re: Admin addiction, posted by greyskyeyes on July 20, 2005, at 12:39:01
It's the only time in my life I've been grateful for being laid up on the sofa recovering from a root canal. Who knows the trouble I could have put myself into?? Instead I opted for physical pain and drug induced relief. Reading text on a screen was wayyyy beyond my abilities!!
I'm quite the sucker when it comes to passionate discourses on that board. I am learning when to turn away, though. Most times I find that my attempts at responding to posts that I find inflammatory turn out less than satisfactory.
pc
Posted by Jazzed on July 20, 2005, at 16:00:42
In reply to I've become an Admin junkie, posted by crushedout on July 19, 2005, at 13:56:42
>
> I used to be a psychology board junkie but now the only board I'm really hooked on is Admin. I don't know what happened to me. Maybe this post belongs on the Substance Abuse board.I'll have to check it out again. Last time I went there it seemed like either an argument in every post or it went over my little puddin' head! LOL
Glad you're feeling in control of those babbly addictions! LOL
Jazzy
Posted by crushedout on July 20, 2005, at 16:15:19
In reply to Re: I've become an Admin junkie » crushedout, posted by Jazzed on July 20, 2005, at 16:00:42
oh, it's an argument bonanza jazzy. that's what makes it so compelling. many people (myself included) are attracted to conflict. i guess cuz it's not boring. and it can be a real distraction. and also make us feel better about ourselves, the same way watching people humiliate themselves on jerry springer might.i dunno, i'm just throwing these ideas out there.
actually that's an interesting thing for us to brainstorm: why do we like admin/conflict?
i think dinah and others have touched on this already.
Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2005, at 12:28:32
In reply to Re: I've become an Admin junkie » Jazzed, posted by crushedout on July 20, 2005, at 16:15:19
I told my therapist approximately the same thing I said in my post above. About how intense it is until you realize that very few things that happen there haven't happened a few times there already.
(P.S. This was sort of a segue into the session after a tough time getting there on both our parts. I didn't focus the session on Babble - this time.)
He told me about the concept of the drama triangle. How all a good drama needs is three parts, a victim, a perpetrator, and a rescuer. And how the parts can be fluid, so that a single person can move from one to another over time, then back again.
I'm not sure *all* drama is that simple, but it does sound familiar as far as Admin goes. Without naming names or anything, what do y'all think?
How about you, Dr. Bob?
Posted by greyskyeyes on July 22, 2005, at 15:07:31
In reply to Drama triangle, posted by Dinah on July 22, 2005, at 12:28:32
> He told me about the concept of the drama triangle. How all a good drama needs is three parts, a victim, a perpetrator, and a rescuer. And how the parts can be fluid, so that a single person can move from one to another over time, then back again.
>
> I'm not sure *all* drama is that simple, but it does sound familiar as far as Admin goes. Without naming names or anything, what do y'all think?Yes, that describes Admin perfectly! I'd say in many cases the perpetrator shifts (or tries to) to the victim role. The victim becomes a rescuer to a rescuer who in turn has become the victim. And, particularly in the last couple of days' drama, there are a LOT of rescuers here! (a tribute to Babblers, I suppose... guess we're all a lot of wannabe white knights :) )
Posted by Atticus on July 22, 2005, at 15:26:53
In reply to Re: Drama triangle » Dinah, posted by greyskyeyes on July 22, 2005, at 15:07:31
Do you think that Bob sometimes (purposefully or inadvertantly) plays the part of casting director for these three roles by giving an answer that seems not to be an answer at all, by allowing hostile exchanges to go on for far too long before jumping in, or by using what seem to be inconsistent criteria for PBCs and blocks? I can't say one way or another for certain, obviously. It just strikes me that if someone appears to be more interested in group interaction dynamics than in individuals, then that someone would find it very interesting to goose someone into switching roles in mid play. Simply a thought. Atticus
Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2005, at 16:03:11
In reply to Re: Drama triangle » greyskyeyes, posted by Atticus on July 22, 2005, at 15:26:53
I don't think so. I just think that even Dr. Bob has a real life. As much as we'd like him to be sitting in his office waiting for us.
And that's why I didn't step in on a more timely basis as well.
Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2005, at 16:09:06
In reply to Re: Drama triangle » Dinah, posted by greyskyeyes on July 22, 2005, at 15:07:31
Well, this isn't the first time, and won't be the last. I just thought it was an interesting way to view the dynamic.
Since we were in private, we were of course able to name names. But we concentrated on me (naturally enough). In particular my windmill tilting tendencies and my recognition that trying to help often backfires. I tend to see my backing off as a wry recognition of my impotence rather than a lack of caring. But my therapist sees it as a healthy backing out of the triangle which is more likely to help everyone than trying to help would be.
I'm still not absolutely sure of that. I've been on the receiving end of kind words of support too many times to think they are better left unsaid.
Maybe it depends on the form of "rescue" offered?
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