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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phil on May 19, 2005, at 11:19:34
I posted this a long time ago. Still funny(I think).
Actual notes from Doctors on their patient's charts...
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me.
The patient is tearful an crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-ol male. Mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient refused an autopsy.Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Paitent was alert and unresponsive.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she has been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The patient was to have a bowel re-section. However, he took a job as a lawyer instead.
Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Posted by sunny10 on May 19, 2005, at 11:44:21
In reply to 'nother joke, posted by Phil on May 19, 2005, at 11:19:34
Posted by partlycloudy on May 19, 2005, at 11:44:24
In reply to 'nother joke, posted by Phil on May 19, 2005, at 11:19:34
OK, this was the first time anyone has heard me laugh at work. Thanks, Phil!
Posted by sunny10 on May 19, 2005, at 11:45:07
In reply to Re: 'nother joke » Phil, posted by partlycloudy on May 19, 2005, at 11:44:24
Posted by rainbowbrite on May 19, 2005, at 11:55:35
In reply to 'nother joke, posted by Phil on May 19, 2005, at 11:19:34
Posted by partlycloudy on May 19, 2005, at 14:15:26
In reply to Re: co-workers amazed by head rolling by (nm) » partlycloudy, posted by sunny10 on May 19, 2005, at 11:45:07
Posted by sunny10 on May 19, 2005, at 15:17:52
In reply to Whoops! There it went again! (nm) » sunny10, posted by partlycloudy on May 19, 2005, at 14:15:26
it were true... I think I could be HAPPY without a head with a brain in it that overthinks every little stinkin' thing....
Posted by gardenergirl on May 19, 2005, at 15:34:41
In reply to 'nother joke, posted by Phil on May 19, 2005, at 11:19:34
Oh, my stomach hurts from laughing so hard!
Thanks for re-posting this, Phil.
gg
Posted by 10derHeart on May 19, 2005, at 16:24:24
In reply to 'nother joke, posted by Phil on May 19, 2005, at 11:19:34
Posted by Shortelise on May 20, 2005, at 13:26:39
In reply to 'nother joke, posted by Phil on May 19, 2005, at 11:19:34
Posted by Jai Narayan on May 21, 2005, at 20:38:21
In reply to 'nother joke, posted by Phil on May 19, 2005, at 11:19:34
laughed so hard I had a coughing fit.
I really enjoyed coughing and laughing and coughing
and.....
and....
cough
laff
hick up
burp
Jai
Posted by Pfinstegg on May 21, 2005, at 23:22:19
In reply to my goodness my face can't relax..:), posted by Jai Narayan on May 21, 2005, at 20:38:21
My husband is asleep next to me, so I had to swallow as many of my giggles as I could. But those are hilarious - I know they are real, too, because I've read thousands of charts with inane things written in them- and also written some very strange things myself. The worst ones happen on night call. We just write them in a kind of stupor while we're thinking of what's coming next- and there they are, to be found by curous minds like yours!
When I was first here, in 2003, you wrote an all-time hilarious story about a man who got somehow caught outside his locked door without any clothes on, and was trying to climb back in through a (?transom), but got stuck. Then someone decorated him with a carrot. I liked it so much that I tried to find it in the archives a while ago, but couldn't. You couldn't treat us to an encore, could you?
Posted by Pfinstegg on May 22, 2005, at 1:00:42
In reply to one of your earlier jokes » Jai Narayan, posted by Pfinstegg on May 21, 2005, at 23:22:19
Posted by Phil on May 22, 2005, at 13:56:37
In reply to one of your earlier jokes » Jai Narayan, posted by Pfinstegg on May 21, 2005, at 23:22:19
I couldn't find that one. My memory is shot so I can't remember it either. Hmmmm...
Posted by Pfinstegg on May 22, 2005, at 21:12:59
In reply to Re: one of your earlier jokes » Pfinstegg, posted by Phil on May 22, 2005, at 13:56:37
Oh, Phil, it was so great! I think you wrote it in about the fall of 2003. YOU KNOW it had to be good, or I wouldn't have been searching for it in early 2005. Anyhow, I remain hopeful...
Posted by Jai Narayan on May 23, 2005, at 19:56:34
In reply to Re: one of your earlier jokes » Pfinstegg, posted by Phil on May 22, 2005, at 13:56:37
I laughed so hard my asthma kicked in.
laugh
cough
laugh
cough
sputter
laugh
burp
jai
This is the end of the thread.
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