![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ron1953 on February 10, 2005, at 16:33:07
Fellow Babblers:
Although there is a great deal of valueable support to be found here, I believe peer support with real people is even more valueable. I joined a men's group several months ago and have attended weekly meetings since. The group has been in existence nearly 15 years (only a couple original members still with it) and has no specific purpose or agenda except for us to share our REAL feelings about anything that's on our minds. Current members range from 28 to 77 years old! We do discourage our meetings from becoming BS sessions (we do that AFTER the meeting, and some of us meet socially). Topics range from emotional issues, relationships, financial problems, job stuff, sexuality, you name it. I have gotton more valueable "therapy" from this group in just a few months than in the past 40 years from so-called professionals.
So, find such a group. And if you can't find one, start one! There is a groundswell of peer-oriented self-help that's of real value. Help yourself and others instead of helping some shrink make his mortgage payments.
Posted by ron1953 on February 10, 2005, at 16:36:21
In reply to Support Groups, posted by ron1953 on February 10, 2005, at 16:33:07
Posted by 64bowtie on February 11, 2005, at 0:32:21
In reply to P.S. One of the members is a P-doc (nm), posted by ron1953 on February 10, 2005, at 16:36:21
Posted by Tabitha on February 11, 2005, at 2:29:06
In reply to Support Groups, posted by ron1953 on February 10, 2005, at 16:33:07
Sounds great. What's the meeting format? Like how do you divide the time, is there cross-talk, that sort of thing.
Posted by partlycloudy on February 11, 2005, at 7:44:14
In reply to Re: Support Groups, posted by Tabitha on February 11, 2005, at 2:29:06
Posted by ron1953 on February 11, 2005, at 11:28:04
In reply to Re: Support Groups, posted by Tabitha on February 11, 2005, at 2:29:06
Tabitha:
We have a rough format/set of "rules" that we try to follow:
- each has an opportunity for a 5 minute check-in
- if someone has something they really want to talk about, he holds the stick (yeah, a real stick) and has the floor.
- feedback is common but if someone doesn't want feedback, we respect his wishes.
- sidebar conversations are discouraged
- absolute (sometimes brutal) honesty is expected and encouraged.Ron
Posted by Tabitha on February 11, 2005, at 12:53:52
In reply to Re: Support Groups » Tabitha, posted by ron1953 on February 11, 2005, at 11:28:04
Sounds a little more flexible than a typical 12-step format, but not so unstructured as group therapy.
Posted by sunny10 on February 11, 2005, at 14:14:57
In reply to Re: Support Groups » ron1953, posted by Tabitha on February 11, 2005, at 12:53:52
you found UNSTRUCTURED group therapy??!?!? Wow, I had no idea they existed.... wonder if I can find one...
Posted by Tabitha on February 12, 2005, at 3:52:36
In reply to Re: Support Groups » Tabitha, posted by sunny10 on February 11, 2005, at 14:14:57
Oh gosh, my group was totally unstructured, with minimal intervention by the leader. It was hard. I quit after about 6 months because I couldn't take it.
I've also gone to groups that were too structured for me-- going around the circle in order, using a timer, having a fixed topic to talk to, leaders who give little mini-lectures, stuff like that. I was curious if Ron's group was maybe somewhere in the middle.
Posted by Toph on February 12, 2005, at 9:10:39
In reply to Support Groups, posted by ron1953 on February 10, 2005, at 16:33:07
Ron, I've had varied experiences with support groups starting with an almost extinct concept now because of the lack of health insurance - the day hospital. Following an in-patient hospitalization (again depending on your ability to pay) discharged patients were released to a day hospital where they transitioned to the community. Our program at Evanston Hospital was superb and I benefited greatly from it. After a psychotic episode requiring weeks of stabilization on a locked unit, needless to say I couldn't just hop from the hospital to work. The day hospital built my self-confidence and had a social component as well. (two thumbs up)
Next when I was emotionally devestated by my separation from my wife and kids I entered a divorce support group run in a counselor's home. After sessions we would go out for coffee somewhere. A faction of the group decided that all we needed was the social part and we munitously stopped paying the group fees by meeting on our own in various members' homes. All therapy stopped and the group disbanded after three meetings. (one thumb up)
Then I went to a religious support group at Willow Creek (a huge evangelical church outside Chicago) which had wonderful support groups for single moms, dating Christians, separated and divorsed individuals, etc. I loved the spiritual side because it wasn't force fed and the members were so kind and (yes, Bob) civil. I start having a relationship with a woman at work and that kind of ended my comfort with the basic tenents of the group, so I slipped away for more carnal therapy. (two big thumbs - up both religious and carnal support)
I have an identity as a bipolar survivor and several times I have tried various community Bipolar Support Groups around the Chicago area. Some I found too large and didactic. Others I found dominated by BP II depressives. I am not snobby about my BP I but I have never found a group of people who also had multiple psychotic manic and depressive episodes involving hospitalization and such. (two thumbs down)
Finally, of course this is my first participation in cyper group association (I'm reluctant to call it therapy yet). I love the anonymity. Don't tell Bob, but I like it's safeness and civility. And there are some really great human beings that hang around this joint.
I even have to admit that there has been some therapeutic growth here for me I think. One thing's for sure, I am no longer timid about writing long posts (I'm sure many of you do not think that's a good thing). two thumbs upToph
Posted by sunny10 on February 12, 2005, at 9:53:16
In reply to Re: Support Groups » ron1953, posted by Toph on February 12, 2005, at 9:10:39
okay, so don't kill me for saying this, BUT...
I think that everyone who benefits from Babble does well in a group setting. Not that it is always easy, not that we are not sometimes upset by the opinions of others, but in the long run, we stay for all of the good it does us.
And I, for one, am glad that Toph posted such an long, eloquent post.
All of you help me, that's for sure.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.