![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 0:28:54
I hurt somebody today and I didn't mean to but I don't think they'll understand. I think I've lost the friendship. I hurt my friend so bad. It was all over misinterpretations on both sides. I can't live with the fact that I hurt my friend. It's KILLING me. The last thing I ever want to do is to hurt anybody. God, I'm soooooo very depressed and my friend is so angry and hurt. What a f*cking mess I've made. When I say I've hurt my friend, I mean I've REALLY hurt my friend BADLY. I can't bear to lose my friendship. I'm sooo depressed and I don't know if it is repairable or not.
F*CK MY BLOODY FEELINGS!!! I shouldn't be allowed to be around people. I can't lose my friend, I just can't.
A very very depressed AG
Posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 0:31:37
In reply to I HURT SOMEBODY BADLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!!, posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 0:28:54
I CAN'T STAND THIS. I'M SO F*CKING STUPID!!
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 28, 2005, at 0:35:47
In reply to Re: I HURT SOMEBODY BADLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!!, posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 0:31:37
oh AG Im sorry that really sounds awful. Ive been there and it is not fun.
is it as bad as you think? Maybe it just feels that bad.
i feel for you.
Posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 0:44:00
In reply to Re: I HURT SOMEBODY BADLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!!, posted by rainbowbrite on January 28, 2005, at 0:35:47
> oh AG Im sorry that really sounds awful. Ive been there and it is not fun.
>
> is it as bad as you think? Maybe it just feels that bad.
>
> i feel for you.
rainyes, it's BAD. I SCREWED UP REALLY REALLY BAD and I've probably lost a friend. I HATE MYSELF WITH A PASSION!!!
AG
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 28, 2005, at 0:48:54
In reply to Re: I HURT SOMEBODY BADLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!!, posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 0:44:00
PLease don;t hate yourself! we all do these things, it is soemtimes hard not to hurt people. I know this prolly doesn't help much, but i hope it does alittle. (((AG)))
Posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 0:53:36
In reply to Re: I HURT SOMEBODY BADLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!!, posted by rainbowbrite on January 28, 2005, at 0:48:54
> PLease don;t hate yourself! we all do these things, it is soemtimes hard not to hurt people. I know this prolly doesn't help much, but i hope it does alittle. (((AG)))
I seem to have it perfected to a science and it's the worst thing for me to do to someone. In fact, I've been working on this issue of not wanting to hurt anyone in therapy. I didn't mean to do it but I did and my friend is REALLY REALLY hurt. I hope I don't lose my friend. I WANT TO DIE!!!
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 28, 2005, at 1:06:35
In reply to Re: I HURT SOMEBODY BADLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!!, posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 0:53:36
Don;t let this take over, its not fair to YOU. have you apoligized? why don't you voice these concerns to your friend? If its possible. give you friend some time to cool off and express these feelings to friend. Im sorry you feel so bad
Posted by partlycloudy on January 28, 2005, at 7:03:10
In reply to I HURT SOMEBODY BADLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!!, posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 0:28:54
AG, friendships have their ups and downs. Do you think you might be able to apologize to this person? Even a card saying you're sorry, if you can't speak to the person, can pave the way for a reconcilliation.
You seem so hard on yourself in how you treat others, AG. Can you tell us what happened, exactly?
peace
pc
Posted by sunny10 on January 28, 2005, at 8:45:02
In reply to Re: I HURT SOMEBODY BADLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!! » Angel Girl, posted by partlycloudy on January 28, 2005, at 7:03:10
yes, AG, what happened, sweetie??
Posted by AuntieMel on January 28, 2005, at 9:39:14
In reply to I HURT SOMEBODY BADLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!!, posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 0:28:54
send some flowers. Include on the card a sincere apology (see Dinah's instructions on admin.)
I'm sure she doesn't really want to lose a friend either.
Posted by B2Chica on January 28, 2005, at 10:13:16
In reply to I HURT SOMEBODY BADLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!!, posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 0:28:54
sweetheart. i think you've said it very well...
"I didn't mean to".
it's one thing to be vindictive or revengeful...or just plain mean.
you are NOT that type of person. no matter what happened or how badly the incident the fact reamains that you did not intentionally do this.
express this to your friend Somehow...words, flowers, letter, card whatever.
once you have done this the ball is in THEIR court.
IF they are really a good friend, they may yell at you, talk with you, stay mad for a certain amount of time...but they will come back. If they don't, this was never a friendship that was meant to last.Ok, you 'messed up' (from what you say). you've realized your mistake, you've been angry about it...now it's time to let it go. when you do the above it will help you let go. sure you can be pissed at yourself for a while. but it's just a natural emotion. DON"T let it take control of the rest of you!
rememeber BALANCE.please realize you ARE a great person...and life is not life without mistakes.
Please take care
b2c.
Posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 14:06:23
In reply to Re: I HURT SOMEBODY BADLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!! » Angel Girl, posted by B2Chica on January 28, 2005, at 10:13:16
I have apologized profusely and told them that it was never my intention to hurt them. This is an online friend, it was all done in e-mail. There's been no reply to my apologetic e-mails but maybe this friend hasn't seen them yet, as it was quite late last night.
However; I have encountered my friend at another online site, strictly by coincidence, I had registered there before my friend. They said they were extremely hurt and I understand why but my words that upset my friend were based on a misinterpretation of circumstances before that had hurt me and I was expressing my hurt but obviously not very well. It had not been interpretted that way. So much can go wrong with the written word when you're not face to face to talk with each other. Anyway, my friend said they would give our friendship another try but I'm so nervous, I NEED this person but I don't ever want to hurt this person ever again. I don't ever want to hurt anyone, but it invariably happens regardless of my intentions. I'm such a f*cking mess.
Thank you all for your help.
AG (who's wings have been clipped and halo taken back)
Posted by Susan47 on January 28, 2005, at 21:02:58
In reply to Re: I HURT SOMEBODY BADLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!!, posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 14:06:23
You're far too hard on yourself, Angel Girl, stop it this instant feel good allow yourself to feel good right NOW. Then read..
"I NEED this person but I don't ever want to hurt this person ever again"
I NEED this person but I don't ever want to hurt this person ever again
but..
you said BUT, Angel Girl, as though it were a construct of your relationships with everybody. Like, as soon as you have a relationship with a person, you're going to hurt them.Why do you think that?
Originally, I had that so I was shouting it but I bet you're going to know what I'm saying. Am I way off base? Because if I am that's okay and I apologize, I'm sorry, Susan47 really isn't all that smart you know she's one short of a ..whatever.
Posted by Angel Girl on January 29, 2005, at 18:13:29
In reply to Slow Down, Lovey » Angel Girl, posted by Susan47 on January 28, 2005, at 21:02:58
Susan
Did I say 'but'? I didn't go back and read what I said. I posted while I was hurt that I hurt a friend even though unintentionally. I am not saying that I didn't say 'but'. All I know is that I always seem to hurt the ones I love the most, even though it is unintentional. Somebody said a phrase in here somewhere. I'm going to look for it again, it was so true when I thought of it.
Not sure where you were going but would love to hear your thoughts on this.
BTW, my friend and I have worked things out on the phone last night and I'm pretty sure we now understand each other and hopefully we won't hurt each other with our comments to each other. It's all misunderstandings on both ends. He knows my heart now and I know his. All is well. I FEEL SO GOOD!!!!
AG
> You're far too hard on yourself, Angel Girl, stop it this instant feel good allow yourself to feel good right NOW. Then read..
>
> "I NEED this person but I don't ever want to hurt this person ever again"
> I NEED this person but I don't ever want to hurt this person ever again
> but..
> you said BUT, Angel Girl, as though it were a construct of your relationships with everybody. Like, as soon as you have a relationship with a person, you're going to hurt them.
>
> Why do you think that?
> Originally, I had that so I was shouting it but I bet you're going to know what I'm saying. Am I way off base? Because if I am that's okay and I apologize, I'm sorry, Susan47 really isn't all that smart you know she's one short of a ..whatever.
Posted by Angel Girl on January 31, 2005, at 17:34:45
In reply to Re: Slow Down, Lovey » Susan47, posted by Angel Girl on January 29, 2005, at 18:13:29
Me and my friend are doing really ok now, he phoned me, I think we talked at least 2 hours, got everything straightened away. We both feel soooo much better.
AG (I'm soooo glad he's my friend)
Posted by Susan47 on January 31, 2005, at 18:06:29
In reply to UPDATE!!!, posted by Angel Girl on January 31, 2005, at 17:34:45
Seems like you felt better as soon as you had your first conversation with your friend, clearing the air.. you called it hypomanic but I wonder if it's just the incredible relief of knowing you're understood and accepted?
Posted by Angel Girl on January 31, 2005, at 21:18:28
In reply to Re: UPDATE!!! » Angel Girl, posted by Susan47 on January 31, 2005, at 18:06:29
> Seems like you felt better as soon as you had your first conversation with your friend, clearing the air.. you called it hypomanic but I wonder if it's just the incredible relief of knowing you're understood and accepted?
Hi Susan
Yes, it was relief for both of us, not only me. We both know exactly where the other is coming from. This is far from our first conversation, except by phone. It was after this phone conversation that my mood definitely changed. At first I did think of it just being the relief but it is so much more.
I've been hypomanic before, I know how it feels, I know the great intensity of it and what it does to me. It is more than happy, it is euphoric. It only dissapates, when the inevitable crash follows.
It's a neverending cycle. I'm sure it was probably brought on by the phone call but it's definitely hypomania. I LOVE my hypomanic episodes when they take on the form of euphoria instead of irritability, I hate what inevitably follows because when I crash, I crash HARD, REALLY HARD and REALLY FAST!!! I'm dreading it's onset.
I feel that you are doubting me. Is there some underlying concerns that you are not telling me?
AG
Posted by Susan47 on January 31, 2005, at 23:55:04
In reply to Re: UPDATE!!! » Susan47, posted by Angel Girl on January 31, 2005, at 21:18:28
You really get down to it, don't you? I'm not doubting you at all, I'm just getting a handle on when the euphoria started .. what precipitated it. Don't you think that's hopeful? Because if it's human relationships that precipitate you feeling fabulous, it's within your control, isn't it? Just an idea, reject it if you like.
Posted by Angel Girl on February 1, 2005, at 23:40:37
In reply to Re: UPDATE!!! » Angel Girl, posted by Susan47 on January 31, 2005, at 23:55:04
> You really get down to it, don't you? I'm not doubting you at all, I'm just getting a handle on when the euphoria started .. what precipitated it. Don't you think that's hopeful? Because if it's human relationships that precipitate you feeling fabulous, it's within your control, isn't it? Just an idea, reject it if you like.
Susan
If I'm understanding you correctly, then that would mean that I would have control over my depression, aggitation, anger and irritability. If that is the case, assuming that I'm understanding you correctly, then I guess that would possibly mean that I'm not BP afterall and that my moods are a result of what happens and I could control them all?
And to answer your question, yes I do really get right down to it, I see no point in beating around the bush instead of asking outright.
AG
Posted by Susan47 on February 2, 2005, at 1:09:54
In reply to Re: UPDATE!!! » Susan47, posted by Angel Girl on February 1, 2005, at 23:40:37
I don't know, it was just what I perceived as a glimmer of hope, but I know now that I was mistaken, and I apologize deeply if I've upset you.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.