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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 25. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Snoozin on January 10, 2005, at 11:24:46
Hi, Guys.
OK, I've been dating a guy for a month. He wants to meet my parents. !!!!!!
I haven't introduced a new guy to them in over 7 years.
My parents are, for lack of a better description, racist and xenophobic.
New guy is foreign-born and Muslim.
Any advice on how to make things go as smoothly as possible?
???????
Susan
Posted by Phil on January 10, 2005, at 12:24:18
In reply to Meet the Parents, posted by Snoozin on January 10, 2005, at 11:24:46
Conference call?
Posted by Bobby on January 10, 2005, at 12:38:51
In reply to Meet the Parents, posted by Snoozin on January 10, 2005, at 11:24:46
from his three other wives. :)
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 10, 2005, at 12:57:16
In reply to Meet the Parents, posted by Snoozin on January 10, 2005, at 11:24:46
Susan,
I don't think it's such a great time to introduce boyfriend to your parents right now, especially after 1 month. I would wait 6 months until the thought even entered my mind again.
Have you told him they are racists and xenophobes?
Posted by Snoozin on January 10, 2005, at 13:04:41
In reply to Re: Meet the Parents, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 10, 2005, at 12:57:16
> I don't think it's such a great time to introduce boyfriend to your parents right now, especially after 1 month. I would wait 6 months until the thought even entered my mind again.
<<That's really interesting you say that. I've got friends who would definitely agree on that 6 month mark, or something similar, while *I* feel like a guy is hiding something or isn't very serious if he's not talking about my meeting his family and vice versa after a month or so.My attitude may be less healthy than yours, but it would *really* cause me stress if he and I kept our lives entirely separated for that long. I dunno. What do others think? How long do people generally wait to introduce a guy to their family? I'm 37, if it matters.
> Have you told him they are racists and xenophobes?
<<He's aware of it. He's also no stranger to it after 9/11.
Posted by Susan47 on January 10, 2005, at 16:26:23
In reply to Re: Meet the Parents » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Snoozin on January 10, 2005, at 13:04:41
Why do you feel the need to introduce a man to your parents?
Posted by Phil on January 10, 2005, at 17:42:03
In reply to Re: Meet the Parents, posted by Susan47 on January 10, 2005, at 16:26:23
I was wondering the same thing.
> Why do you feel the need to introduce a man to your parents?
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 10, 2005, at 17:50:08
In reply to Re: Meet the Parents » Susan47, posted by Phil on January 10, 2005, at 17:42:03
She said he wanted to meet them!
Posted by Phil on January 10, 2005, at 18:37:29
In reply to Re: Meet the Parents » Phil, posted by Gabbix2 on January 10, 2005, at 17:50:08
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 10, 2005, at 19:20:48
In reply to Re: Doh!! Thanks, G. (nm) » Gabbix2, posted by Phil on January 10, 2005, at 18:37:29
Your welcome Phil : )
Yours and Bobbie's responses made me realize what it must feel like to have brothers
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 10, 2005, at 23:20:52
In reply to Re: Meet the Parents » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Snoozin on January 10, 2005, at 13:04:41
Hi Susan, I think it is healthest to follow your own heart ,,,from what I read below you DO kind of want them to meet...When YOU want them to, tell him about them and them about him...see if they still want to meet and IF they agree to act respectful of one another as well as you; then let them meet..maybe a dinner out would be good to keep it mellow? It may be they will never accept him and that will be sad then you will have other choices to make in your life. By all means live your life in a kind and respectful way towards *yourself and others*. You should not have to hide anyone you care about and if your parents do not respect you and him then its them not you or him. And you know, they JUST MIGHT LIKE HIM. Wait till when You want them to meet him not when he wants to..Best of luck on this and let us know what you ended up doing?
> > I don't think it's such a great time to introduce boyfriend to your parents right now, especially after 1 month. I would wait 6 months until the thought even entered my mind again.
> <<That's really interesting you say that. I've got friends who would definitely agree on that 6 month mark, or something similar, while *I* feel like a guy is hiding something or isn't very serious if he's not talking about my meeting his family and vice versa after a month or so.
>
> My attitude may be less healthy than yours, but it would *really* cause me stress if he and I kept our lives entirely separated for that long. I dunno. What do others think? How long do people generally wait to introduce a guy to their family? I'm 37, if it matters.
>
>
> > Have you told him they are racists and xenophobes?
> <<He's aware of it. He's also no stranger to it after 9/11.
>
>
>
>
Posted by Susan47 on January 11, 2005, at 15:37:31
In reply to Re: Meet the Parents » Phil, posted by Gabbix2 on January 10, 2005, at 17:50:08
Well so then my incredibly stupid question would be, Why does HE want to meet the parents????
Posted by Snoozin on January 11, 2005, at 15:52:23
In reply to Meet the Parents, posted by Snoozin on January 10, 2005, at 11:24:46
OK, I give up. Obviously folks think there's something inherently wrong with what I'm doing. I just was asking for some advice on *how* to make it go smoothly, cuz I *am* going to do it. Sheesh.
>> Any advice on how to make things go as smoothly as possible?
>
> ???????
>
> Susan
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 11, 2005, at 16:06:31
In reply to OK, I Give Up » Snoozin, posted by Snoozin on January 11, 2005, at 15:52:23
Well, it sounded perfectly reasonable to me, I thought it was nice that he wanted to meet your family.. I liked Fallens suggestions.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 11, 2005, at 16:51:21
In reply to Re: OK, I Give Up » Snoozin, posted by Gabbix2 on January 11, 2005, at 16:06:31
I think I gave you some ideas on how to help it go easy...see above please. And good luck I understand I really really do
HUGS
ps thanks Gabbix :)
Posted by nikkit2 on January 12, 2005, at 3:36:35
In reply to OK, I Give Up » Snoozin, posted by Snoozin on January 11, 2005, at 15:52:23
Well, personally, when I meet a man that is more than just an (to use someone elses words!) FB, someone who I feel I will have a long term relationship with, and someone who I am falling in love with, ofcourse I want my parents to meet him and visa versa..
My parents (well, Mum now) is a huge part of my life.. in the same way I like to introduce a man to my friends, I like to introduce them to my parents.
As for the man who is now my husband, I took him round to my parents only 10 days after meeting him.. there were some extenuating circumstances (dad was near the end of terminal cancer), but I was in love, and wanted my parents to see why i was so in love!!
Nikki x
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 12, 2005, at 6:43:52
In reply to Re: OK, I Give Up » Snoozin, posted by nikkit2 on January 12, 2005, at 3:36:35
Posted by Snoozin on January 12, 2005, at 12:39:28
In reply to Snoozin please see my reply, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 11, 2005, at 16:51:21
Fallen,
Yes, thank you for your message and ideas. They were sincere and I do appreciate them. :-) The *three wives* comment et al. just didn't sit very well with me. Talk about stereotyping. !!!!
Thanks again. :-)
Susan
> I think I gave you some ideas on how to help it go easy...see above please. And good luck I understand I really really do
>
> HUGS
> ps thanks Gabbix :)
Posted by Snoozin on January 12, 2005, at 12:41:52
In reply to Re: OK, I Give Up » Snoozin, posted by nikkit2 on January 12, 2005, at 3:36:35
Nikki,
>>but I was in love, and wanted my parents to see why i was so in love!!
<<I'm really happy for you that it all worked out great! :-)I personally think it's a good sign that this guy wants to meet my family, because in his culture, family is *extremely* important. And it's a natural progression of things.
Thanks, and take care. :-)
Susan
Posted by Snoozin on January 12, 2005, at 12:42:54
In reply to Ya, what Nikki said! (nm), posted by Gabbix2 on January 12, 2005, at 6:43:52
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 12, 2005, at 15:41:53
In reply to Thanks, Gab, as always!! :-) (nm) » Gabbix2, posted by Snoozin on January 12, 2005, at 12:42:54
I'm Sorry your thread went all sideways.. it seemed like the most normal question in the world to me!
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 12, 2005, at 19:09:20
In reply to Re: Snoozin please see my reply » Fallen4MyT, posted by Snoozin on January 12, 2005, at 12:39:28
You're more than welcome. I do not read all posts in a thread in fact very seldom do I read more than 2 so I missed the 3 wives junk lol....yikes..I just hope when you prep both sides that you pick a public place cause to me mom and dad will have to be nice :) Tis public ya know and I really think you have a shot at them liking him IF they get to know him as a person. Best of luck and I am so not judgemental
> Fallen,
>
> Yes, thank you for your message and ideas. They were sincere and I do appreciate them. :-) The *three wives* comment et al. just didn't sit very well with me. Talk about stereotyping. !!!!
>
> Thanks again. :-)
>
> Susan
>
>
>
> > I think I gave you some ideas on how to help it go easy...see above please. And good luck I understand I really really do
> >
> > HUGS
> > ps thanks Gabbix :)
>
>
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 12, 2005, at 19:23:07
In reply to Re: Snoozin please see my reply » Snoozin, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 12, 2005, at 19:09:20
>I just hope when you prep both sides that you pick a public place cause to me mom and dad will have to be nice :)
Posted by Bobby on January 14, 2005, at 11:07:48
In reply to Re: Snoozin please see my reply » Fallen4MyT, posted by Snoozin on January 12, 2005, at 12:39:28
No harm intended. Sometimes humour cuts. Best of luck with your man
Posted by Snoozin on January 14, 2005, at 13:27:52
In reply to Sorry Susan » Snoozin, posted by Bobby on January 14, 2005, at 11:07:48
> No harm intended. Sometimes humour cuts. Best of luck with your man
<<Thank you for the apology and warm wishes. :-)
This is the end of the thread.
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