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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by partlycloudy on October 11, 2004, at 5:41:17
after I ran away from it last week clutching a box of tissues. I "just" have to not cry, but I don't think I can crack a smile. Keep my head down, work, answer the phone, keep to myself. World, please leave me be today. I took off my watch so I wouldn't look at the time all day.
Bracing myself.
Posted by saw on October 11, 2004, at 6:03:47
In reply to Afraid to go to work, posted by partlycloudy on October 11, 2004, at 5:41:17
You should just about be there.
I too hope the world leaves you be today.
Stay here lots.
Post
Post
Post some moreBe strong
Trying to send all my strength
through the wires to you.Cry if you have to
It's got nothing to do with anyone else.
It's your pain.
You're allowed that.Post
Post
Post some moreAll here for you. All the time
Love Sabrina
Posted by partlycloudy on October 11, 2004, at 6:33:06
In reply to Re: Afraid to go to work » partlycloudy, posted by saw on October 11, 2004, at 6:03:47
The nice thing about getting to work early is that I can sort things out before the barrage begins.
Thank you, Sabrina, your strength is wafting across the net to me.
pc
Posted by partlycloudy on October 11, 2004, at 6:58:10
In reply to Re: Afraid to go to work » saw, posted by partlycloudy on October 11, 2004, at 6:33:06
I feel frozen up, need someone to press alt-cntl-delete, please. Can't raise my eyes above looking at the floor. I'm holding my breath as if the sky is going to fall on me. I've had 2 people inocently ask me how I am. They see my eyes tear up and I see the regret in their faces. Just move along, please.
Posted by saw on October 11, 2004, at 7:13:04
In reply to I got here, but, posted by partlycloudy on October 11, 2004, at 6:58:10
It has to be easier, but it's not. Is it possible for your doctor to book you off work for about a week or so? You clearly need some time away just to recoup a bit. Recover a little. In peace and quiet and ambient surroundings.
Breath, breath, breath. Please don't hold your breath. Quickest way to march towards panic.
That picture I posted a while ago? Picture it again.
S
Posted by partlycloudy on October 11, 2004, at 7:24:22
In reply to Re: I got here, but » partlycloudy, posted by saw on October 11, 2004, at 7:13:04
Any time off I take is my decision only. My husband is either the hero of the company he works for or certain he's going to be canned. Where I work is not the kind of employment environment where my job would be held for me while I recover. There is no employment contract, implied or otherwise.
So if I come in, I work. If I don't come in, they might replace me.
pc
breathing
Posted by saw on October 11, 2004, at 9:17:54
In reply to Re: I got here, but » saw, posted by partlycloudy on October 11, 2004, at 7:24:22
Oh no, one of those jobs. But you're breathing.
Good
Continue to do so
At a slow, slow
Steady
Pace.
I'm always here (inbetween internet bombing)
Sabrina
Posted by partlycloudy on October 11, 2004, at 9:38:05
In reply to Re: I got here, but » partlycloudy, posted by saw on October 11, 2004, at 9:17:54
whether it is positive energy, medication, intent. Feel very flat but not depressed. More like submerged. Anxiety has lessened quite a bit since last week. Feel more like I don't care rather than I want to feel better. That feels like an improvement over hopelessness.
Posted by saw on October 11, 2004, at 9:42:49
In reply to Something must be working » saw, posted by partlycloudy on October 11, 2004, at 9:38:05
I think it is your outstanding strength of character and knowing that you "need" to be at work. And I sheepishly hope a bit of the positive energy too.
I am relieved you are coping. Hang in there. My day's almost done but you have a few hours to go.
Sabrina
Posted by gardenergirl on October 11, 2004, at 10:32:12
In reply to Re: Something must be working » partlycloudy, posted by saw on October 11, 2004, at 9:42:49
Hi PC,
I'm glad things are getting a bit better. You are so brave for going back. Good for you. You can get through this. Just breathe. And close your eyes and rest for a minute several times. Say a quick prayer or meditate. Picture a peaceful place or use something that has worked from EMDR. I have great faith in you. And besides, we are here for you.(((((((((PC)))))))))))
gg
Posted by partlycloudy on October 11, 2004, at 13:12:28
In reply to Adding my energy too., posted by gardenergirl on October 11, 2004, at 10:32:12
GG, you give the nicest hugs. thanks.
Posted by TexasChic on October 11, 2004, at 14:16:01
In reply to Adding my energy too., posted by gardenergirl on October 11, 2004, at 10:32:12
Me too, me too! Try not to think of the whole day, try making smaller goals like 15 minutes at a time. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. Just remember we're out here rooting for you! ((((Partlycloudy))))
Posted by partlycloudy on October 11, 2004, at 14:21:06
In reply to Re: Adding my energy too., posted by TexasChic on October 11, 2004, at 14:16:01
Did you get that second interview, TC?
Thanks for the good wishes. I see a bubble bath as my reward this evening. And no TV.
Posted by TexasChic on October 11, 2004, at 14:46:27
In reply to Re: Adding my energy too. » TexasChic, posted by partlycloudy on October 11, 2004, at 14:21:06
Ah-h-h-h, bubble baths. Aren't those the best?
I already had the 2nd interview, today I had to take the drug test. They will call me tomorrow with the results and I can start on Wednesday. I'm still nervous about it even though I shouldn't be. I just read so much about false positives that now I'm a nervous wreck! I just have to make it until tomorrow.
As for your work situation, have you given any thought to a different sort of work? I know answering phones would make me a nervous wreck. You just can't ever relax or let your guard down. And you don't realize how much its affecting you until you get into something else and have a comparison. I've found jobs where I can work alone for periods of time work out much better for me. Things like data entry, stocking in book stores, filing, ect. Just something that isn't as jarring and you don't have to keep up the false bravo. Anyway, its just a thought. Hang in there.
Posted by partlycloudy on October 11, 2004, at 15:09:51
In reply to Re: Adding my energy too., posted by TexasChic on October 11, 2004, at 14:46:27
I don't need to cross my fingers for you on that test - you'll be fine.
I have changed careers so many times that by now I know that if there isn't any stress in the job, I can easily create it. Big companies, little companies, retail (forget about the holidays - you belong to the store), customer service. The only thing I haven't tried is a manufacturing job, but I'd have to move to India to get one of those....
My paranoia about messing up this job is real, even though from what I have seen here, you really do have to make some major mistakes to be canned. I've had 2 previous experiences with employers in this state that made it clear that nobody's job is ever safe.
The hardest thing about this job really is keeping a smile on my face. We don't get many people walking in off the street, or many formal visitors, and the phones are usually not very busy. I am mostly for show. Every time I have talked myself into the anticipation of being disciplined for something at work, I've been given praise and money instead. I obviously have a skewed view of my performance and abilities here. It's also hard when people show compassion and empathy towards me. I immediately tear up and start quaking. i've always been a crybaby.
I feel SOOOOO much better now than when the day began. Once again Babble pulled me through.
Posted by TexasChic on October 11, 2004, at 21:34:15
In reply to Reducing stress at work » TexasChic, posted by partlycloudy on October 11, 2004, at 15:09:51
You're in good company, I'm a crybaby too. I get upset and can't stop crying for several hours at a time. Do you do that? I hate that I can't control it. I guess that's the price we pay for being such sensitive and compassionate people. I'd rather be a crybaby any day than cold hearted though. It just irks me that people see it as a weakness rather than an attribute.
Posted by partlycloudy on October 12, 2004, at 4:28:52
In reply to Re: Reducing stress at work » partlycloudy, posted by TexasChic on October 11, 2004, at 21:34:15
Yeah, my boss used to be in the Navy. Tears don't sit well with her at all.
This is the end of the thread.
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