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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on August 19, 2004, at 14:37:17
My mother dropped in uninvited the other day bearing gifts.
She took one look at Harry and said that he has that look that dogs have right before they die. I know that look, and I've been thinking he's had it for a couple of months, so I've gotten sort of used to it. But now that she said it, I'm afraid to put him off my lap or leave the house. :(
My dad fell while trying to get into bed and cracked a rib. I'm not sure how well they're doing at independent living.
And I feel creeping deadening depression coming on. I'm just so tired and I don't feel like trying.
Posted by ghost on August 19, 2004, at 14:48:25
In reply to Mom story, posted by Dinah on August 19, 2004, at 14:37:17
*big hugs*
i'm sorry about your little Harry. :( it's always harsher when someone *else* points out the inevitable, too.
i'm also sorry about your dad... i worry about the day my parents can no longer live independantly. i hope it's not for many years but i fear that it will arrive sooner than i'm ready.
and take extra good care of yourself. take things slowly, and do something nice for yourself when you get free moments. eat ice cream!ghost
Posted by gabbix2 on August 19, 2004, at 16:58:41
In reply to Mom story, posted by Dinah on August 19, 2004, at 14:37:17
Oh Dinah, I'm so sorry. One of the wisest women I know said this to me two years ago when I was
as low as I thought I could be.. "Spirits are resilient things"
Remember that? I do. I always will.
Posted by Susan47 on August 19, 2004, at 17:09:57
In reply to Mom story, posted by Dinah on August 19, 2004, at 14:37:17
You have to put the pleasure principle into action right now. Anything that makes you feel physically safe, calm, comfortable, do. Maybe start there and work your way into other areas, like mental and spiritual? Oh I hope you feel better soon.
Posted by JenStar on August 19, 2004, at 20:20:51
In reply to Mom story, posted by Dinah on August 19, 2004, at 14:37:17
Dinah, I'm sorry things are rough! Give the little Harry a hug from me (even though he doesn't know me...)
I'm sorry about your dad's rib. I hope he recovers quickly & painlessly.
Were the gifts from your mom, while uninvited, good? (grin)
I hope things are going well. Watch the Olympics if you have time, and tell us what you think of the gymnastics finals! (no real reason, but they always make me smile...hope it does the same for you.)
JenStar
> My mother dropped in uninvited the other day bearing gifts.
>
> She took one look at Harry and said that he has that look that dogs have right before they die. I know that look, and I've been thinking he's had it for a couple of months, so I've gotten sort of used to it. But now that she said it, I'm afraid to put him off my lap or leave the house. :(
>
> My dad fell while trying to get into bed and cracked a rib. I'm not sure how well they're doing at independent living.
>
> And I feel creeping deadening depression coming on. I'm just so tired and I don't feel like trying.
>
Posted by Dinah on August 19, 2004, at 21:49:43
In reply to Re: Mom story » Dinah, posted by JenStar on August 19, 2004, at 20:20:51
I liked her gift for my son! She's got this thing about gifts. She gives what she likes, even if the person has previously stated a dislike of what she's is now giving. I think she may be improving though. Her last gifts to my son were age and gender appropriate, and he liked them!
I hate to be missing the Olympics. I've been working and working trying to meet an August 31 deadline with very little fuel in my engines, so to speak. I haven't kept up with anything, I'm afraid. I will try to make time to watch though. I love gymnastics.
Posted by Dinah on August 19, 2004, at 21:53:22
In reply to Re: Mom story » Dinah, posted by gabbix2 on August 19, 2004, at 16:58:41
Thanks for reminding me, Gabbi. Mine seems a bit squashed at the moment. I hope you won't mind reminding me a few more times along the way.
Posted by Dinah on August 19, 2004, at 21:56:35
In reply to Re: Mom story » gabbix2, posted by Dinah on August 19, 2004, at 21:53:22
Harry is having one of his better days today, I think.
And my father is telling me his rib isn't broken or cracked, merely bruised and my mother is lying as she always does. Frankly, neither of them can be relied upon to give a straight story any more, if they ever could. Which doesn't reassure me about their ability to live alone.
I'm just really really tired.
Posted by gardenergirl on August 20, 2004, at 2:21:42
In reply to Re: Mom story » JenStar, posted by Dinah on August 19, 2004, at 21:49:43
I love the gymnastics, too. NBC is replaying them right now (3:15 am), so if you are a night owl, perhaps you can catch some of the individual events. But hopefully, you are getting some well-deserved rest.
Sorry Harry is still doing poorly. It must be hard to see the progression. I think I understand the need to hold him close.
And as much as it stinks that you might be headed towards depression, along with your worry about your parents and your work stuff (am I forgetting anything?), I'm glad you are recognizing it. Does that help? Any stuff that has worked in the past? If not, I know you know somewhere in that amazing heart of yours that it will pass.
In the meantime, please take care of yourself.
Put your own oxygen on before attempting to assist others.
gg
Posted by gabbix2 on August 20, 2004, at 14:05:22
In reply to Re: Mom story » gabbix2, posted by Dinah on August 19, 2004, at 21:53:22
> Thanks for reminding me, Gabbi. Mine seems a bit squashed at the moment. I hope you won't mind reminding me a few more times along the way.
Of course I won't mind, and remember, I'm only reminding you because it's true. I think about you saying that to me every time I have a happy moment now because at the time I just didn't believe it was possible to feel them again.
Posted by AuntieMel on August 20, 2004, at 16:42:27
In reply to Mom story, posted by Dinah on August 19, 2004, at 14:37:17
With moms like that, who needs enemas?
Posted by fallsfall on August 20, 2004, at 16:53:58
In reply to Mom story, posted by Dinah on August 19, 2004, at 14:37:17
(((((Dinah)))))
(((((Harry)))))
(((((Dinah's Daddy)))))
Take time for yourself, Dinah.
Posted by Klokka on August 21, 2004, at 0:15:23
In reply to Mom story, posted by Dinah on August 19, 2004, at 14:37:17
Hi Dinah, sorry things are so rough right now. :( I can kindof imagine how hard it must've been to hear a comment like that about Harry. Maybe you can respond to the fear by treating him extra special and spending lots of quality time with him? it might help to ease it a bit, and at any rate, IMO, it's something you're very unlikely to regret, to say the least. I hope your dad recovers quickly, as well.
Take extra good care of yourself right now - you deserve and need it. Hope things start looking up for you very soon.
Posted by Dinah on August 21, 2004, at 9:12:13
In reply to Re: Mom story » Dinah, posted by Klokka on August 21, 2004, at 0:15:23
One thing I'll always be greatful for is the last year with Harry. He was operated on for cancer almost a year ago, and wasn't expected to live more than two or three months. We tried an experimental treatment and he's still hanging in there. In the meantime, he's spent most of that year on my lap, and if he is indulged any more he'll forget how to walk or feed himself. :) And he was always the prince around here anyway.
I think he still gets a lot of joy out of life, although I also think he's in some pain. He's eating ok. Many times he'll shake while on the floor, but if I pick him up and put my hand on him a few minutes, I can feel his shaking stop and he relaxes and falls asleep. I refused to go on vacation this summer because I honestly think he wouldn't try so hard to live if he didn't have my lap to sit on.
What I need to work on is spending more quality time with my dad. Unfortunately that one isn't so simple. I have to go to him, and because of my own obligations and also because my mother is a hoarder and her house is really unpleasant to be in, that's a bit of a problem. Also, my dad has always both my beloved daddy, and a man subject to to deep depressions and horrible tempers. As I got older I learned how to bring out the best in him and minimize the worst, but it takes an emotional toll and it doesn't always work.
But still, I know that in the future, I'll regret what I don't do now, and I'll never regret what I do do. Thank you for reminding me of that.
Posted by Dinah on August 21, 2004, at 9:40:32
In reply to Re: Mom story, posted by gardenergirl on August 20, 2004, at 2:21:42
> And as much as it stinks that you might be headed towards depression, along with your worry about your parents and your work stuff (am I forgetting anything?), I'm glad you are recognizing it. Does that help? Any stuff that has worked in the past? If not, I know you know somewhere in that amazing heart of yours that it will pass.
>I think it does help. I have always been less than resilient, and it takes me a long time to respond to change. But my usual pattern is to have an increase in my anxiety disorders under stress. I've had three major depressions in my life, and two had a big hormonal component. At 42, I think I'm a few years off from having that again. Although I'm not really sure I'd rather have increased OCD than depression.
Posted by partlycloudy on August 22, 2004, at 8:29:45
In reply to Re: Mom story, posted by Dinah on August 21, 2004, at 9:40:32
Dinah, you have to take particularly good care of yourself these days. It's one thing to feel a depression looming, and I hope you realize that you are having to deal with stressors that anyone, and I mean anyone, would be sent into a tailspin by.
Give Harry an extra hug for me, and a big one from me to you.
((((Dinah))))
Posted by Dinah on August 22, 2004, at 8:53:34
In reply to Re: Mom story » Dinah, posted by partlycloudy on August 22, 2004, at 8:29:45
I hope you found everything ok at your home.
Posted by partlycloudy on August 22, 2004, at 12:13:40
In reply to Thanks. :) And welcome home! » partlycloudy, posted by Dinah on August 22, 2004, at 8:53:34
Unfortunately, everything looked just like I'd left it!
We were missed by 70 miles - no storm at all, hardly.
This is the end of the thread.
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