Psycho-Babble Social Thread 367697

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Re: I'm sorry. » Dinah

Posted by zenhussy on July 20, 2004, at 16:22:02

In reply to Re: I'm sorry., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 14:28:09

> Being bad is the worst thing in the world to me. I'm not trying to be hypocritical in being nice to fires. Nor do I want any positive statements made about it, because my motive is just to not be a "bad girl". And I have a lot of mixed feelings about it, because I'm afraid it will hurt others, in which case I'll still have been bad even if I was trying not to be bad. Because standing by and letting people be hurt without doing something is very very bad. And doing something that makes it more likely that people will be hurt is very very very very very bad.
> But being unkind is also bad.

Examples of that kind of thinking are often used in books about CSA and the type of thinking that develops in survivors of CSA. Interesting. It is almost as if there isn't any way to be good enough ever with that type of thought process. Plus the mention of not being the bad girl really makes me curious as to why that is first and foremost the way to strive to be. I'm intrigued by the choices of words and the reasons for always seeking harmony even when harmony might not exist.

I seek no ongoing discourse but wanted to mention the things I found interesting here.
--zh

 

Re: Seems I always have 2 cents lying around

Posted by daisym on July 20, 2004, at 17:15:13

In reply to Seems I always have 2 cents lying around, posted by partlycloudy on July 20, 2004, at 14:30:36

>>>I think also that it's very telling that the Psych board gets its knickers into a twist (I've always wanted to use that expression in a post!) when a certain someone starts an incendiary event, leaving us all in a muddle and upset, and then gets the h@ll out of Dodge, and then, what do you know? comes back and does the same thing again!

HEY!!! I don't wear knickers (don't match the red shoes) and I don't even know where Dodge is. And, as I consider the Psych board "home" I'm not leaving either.

hmmm..knickers, now there's a thought for my sex homework. thanks for the help. :)

 

Re: I'm sorry.

Posted by chicklet on July 20, 2004, at 17:23:20

In reply to Re: I'm sorry., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 14:28:09

(I'm Kar, from long ago)---

>>>> Being bad is the worst thing in the world to me.

and that you could never be..
I mean it.
you've been through this so many times in the past-
(every few months, it seems, huh?)

You ARE doing your best. It's a challenging job. And your efforts are greatly appreciated.

 

Dinah--one more thing--

Posted by chicklet on July 20, 2004, at 17:26:12

In reply to Re: I'm sorry., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 14:28:09

Your hair looks damn fine!
:D

 

Well Look what the cat dragged in.. » chicklet

Posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 17:46:38

In reply to Dinah--one more thing--, posted by chicklet on July 20, 2004, at 17:26:12

I thought for sure you were blocked for at least another year :O

Dinah's hair does look great though doesn't it?
Though I think Pink would be lovely too

 

Re: Well Look what the cat dragged in.. » gabbix2

Posted by chicklet on July 20, 2004, at 17:55:27

In reply to Well Look what the cat dragged in.. » chicklet, posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 17:46:38

Harhar, Gab.
Oh shit- I said "damn" in that last post!
Eek.

>>>> I thought for sure you were blocked for at least another year :O


takes one to know one!
nyanyah

 

Re: Shell look at the fat dragon » chicklet

Posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 18:10:49

In reply to Re: Well Look what the cat dragged in.. » gabbix2, posted by chicklet on July 20, 2004, at 17:55:27

> takes one to know one!
> nyanyah

I feel offended, and very accused, and pressured, and, and, put down, and I think you were being sarcastic too. Hey! You didn't even post on the right board Chicklet.

 

Sorry, everyone

Posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 18:15:44

In reply to Re: Shell look at the fat dragon » chicklet, posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 18:10:49

We don't often both feel good at the same time,
It's a bit like being drunk or something
We'll go behave now.

 

Re: I asked Fires to return. » Dinah

Posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 20:09:39

In reply to Re: I asked Fires to return., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 8:12:44

>I'm sure you guys will give him a warm welcome and help him feel right at home. Perhaps you could protect some of the other posters at the same time, and do a double good deed.

Ouch. By the way, if you were referring to me as one of the posters who said you were bad, I never said that.
Elle

 

Re: I asked Fires to return. » Dinah

Posted by chicklet on July 20, 2004, at 20:21:20

In reply to Re: I asked Fires to return., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 8:12:44

>>>>I'm sure you guys will give him a warm welcome and help him feel right at home.

so many Babblers have been REALLY burned before. You know what I mean.
Dinah, bless you and what you're trying to do---

but I don't think I'd be able to do it---
i KNOW I wouldn't actually. I wouldn't want to TRY. Not in the past "situations" or now. and every one has their needs. But you already know that---
take good care, dear...

 

Re: I want to clarify Dinah...

Posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 20:54:09

In reply to Re: I asked Fires to return. » Dinah, posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 20:09:39

> >I'm sure you guys will give him a warm welcome and help him feel right at home. Perhaps you could protect some of the other posters at the same time, and do a double good deed.

I guess I just don't understand how to take this part of the post. I know it's *not* part of your personality to be mean.
Elle

 

Re: I asked Fires to return. » Dinah

Posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 21:12:38

In reply to Re: I asked Fires to return., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 8:12:44

I think Dinah was directing that post to the posters who spoken out, specifically stating that they wanted to give "fires" a second chance, or at least have him/her feel comfortable at babble and was most definitely not talking to those who those who had reservations. Forgive me if I misunderstood Dinah.

 

Re: I don't wish to clarify

Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 21:16:53

In reply to Re: I want to clarify Dinah..., posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 20:54:09

As I meant exactly what I said. And every attempt I make to right this situation turns out badly. And following my therapist's advice to make myself vulnerable is just leading to more and more distress, as it usually does. I think my therapist is full of cr*p.

I'm sorry you think I'm being mean. It wasn't my intent. But I'm not going to clarify further.

 

Thanks Chicklet and Gabbi and Partlycloudy

Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 21:19:29

In reply to Sorry, everyone, posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 18:15:44

You guys are great and I appreciate your support. But I meant what I said. I don't think I deserve any kind words for something that was totally selfish. Not wanting to be bad is not cause for kind words. :)

But I love you all.

 

Feel free to speak for me anytime. » gabbix2

Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 21:20:45

In reply to Re: I asked Fires to return. » Dinah, posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 21:12:38

I don't seem to be doing such a good job myself. :)

 

Re: Good :) » zenhussy

Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 21:50:27

In reply to Re: I'm sorry. » Dinah, posted by zenhussy on July 20, 2004, at 16:22:02

I'm glad you want no further discourse, because I'm afraid I don't understand what you said. I don't even know what CSA is. I did a google search, but nothing that came up fits in context.

But no need to explain.

My therapist thinks it's a good thing to make yourself vulnerable and be honest in the hopes of deepening a relationship. It works with him, of course. But I have only found it to work one time in all the other times I've tried it. I think he's full of cr*p, and I don't know why I keep trying something that really doesn't work.

People generally just think you're weird.

 

Re: Solidarity

Posted by TofuEmmy on July 20, 2004, at 22:37:34

In reply to Solidarity, posted by partlycloudy on July 19, 2004, at 9:15:18

I will never be able to apologize enough for my post and the trouble it caused. I am so very sorry to those of you who were harmed by my words.

Emily

 

Re: Solidarity

Posted by chicklet on July 20, 2004, at 23:01:31

In reply to Re: Solidarity, posted by TofuEmmy on July 20, 2004, at 22:37:34

Emily-- you don't know me- I'm Karen. i don't really post much anymore for a few reasons. one is that "this" happens on the board. Misunderstanding, marauders (sp?), opinions, rules, discord, Dr. Bob admin-stuff. It happens every few months. You can find that in the archives (you won't want to, but-)

My point is that you have nothing to apologize for. I mean it! This whole thing was going to come up anyway-and people all have different takes on things.
You gave your honest opinion and it doesn't really matter who agrees or disagrees.
You were bold to do it!
So remember, your post did not cause the trouble, the situation did.

Ok?

 

Re: Feel free to speak for me anytime. » Dinah

Posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 23:05:31

In reply to Feel free to speak for me anytime. » gabbix2, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 21:20:45

And Dinah gets her first P.B.C : )

 

Re: Solidarity » TofuEmmy

Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 23:17:28

In reply to Re: Solidarity, posted by TofuEmmy on July 20, 2004, at 22:37:34

Please don't feel bad about it, Emmy. Even my dearest friend has hinted that she thought I was too rough on fires. :) I wouldn't have been open to the possibility if so many people I respected hadn't said so. And I suppose it's better to err on the side of kindness.

(And hopefully he has no more power over me anyway.)

 

Re: Solidarity

Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 23:18:31

In reply to Re: Solidarity » TofuEmmy, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 23:17:28

(And any harm that has come to me, has come to me by my own hand, no one else's.)

 

Re: I plan to help » Dinah

Posted by AuntieMel on July 21, 2004, at 9:59:53

In reply to Re: I asked Fires to return., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 8:12:44

I plan to help keep an eye on the psychology board and put my 2 cents in. I may make myself a lot of enemies, but since I helped start this mess I intend to help with the resolution.

Maybe fires needs a coach on how to play with others?

 

Re: Sad about people going » pegasus

Posted by Raindancer on July 21, 2004, at 17:38:29

In reply to Sad about people going, posted by pegasus on July 20, 2004, at 14:15:59

I'm so glad you're going to stay around Pegasus. I have so much respect for you and you have helped me a lot in the past. I really appreciate it. Thank you. I'm staying too so hope we *meet up*. Take care. Raindancer

 

Re: Sad about people going » Raindancer

Posted by pegasus on July 22, 2004, at 13:05:42

In reply to Re: Sad about people going » pegasus, posted by Raindancer on July 21, 2004, at 17:38:29

Well, that's so sweet! You just made my day! I'm glad you're going to be around too.

(((Raindancer)))

pegasus

 

A Poem

Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2004, at 21:07:46

In reply to Re: I plan to help » Dinah, posted by AuntieMel on July 21, 2004, at 9:59:53

That sometimes crops into mind in my involvement in Babble.

http://userpages.umbc.edu/~dschmi1/cows/poetry.html#purple

Sometimes I think it helps to remember that I'd rather see than be a purple cow.


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