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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 6, 2004, at 9:53:02
In reply to HELP! My family is driving me crazy! I need...., posted by just-a-girl04 on June 3, 2004, at 20:52:51
Posted by just-a-girl04 on June 3, 2004, at 20:52:51
> I need...
> some advice. Does anyone out there live with people who are completely unsupportive? I don't have the energy to constantly explain why Im feel like doing absolutely nothing some days and Im fine other days. They know Im on medication for depression I have explained how it works and Im so frustrated. Im being told things like "whats wrong with you!", "why cant you just be normal!", "you dont want help!". I dont know how much more I can take of this. Is there a way I can get some info on things you should never say to someone is suffering from severe depression. I cant seem to fing the words myself and I swear I do not have anything left in me to even talk! Does anybody know what Im talking about? Please help Im getting that panicky feeling you get when you feel like there is no answer and its never gonna get better.
Posted by AuntieMel on June 7, 2004, at 15:00:30
In reply to My family is driving me crazy! « just-a-girl04, posted by Dr. Bob on June 6, 2004, at 9:53:02
I had trouble explaining what was going on to hubby until I found this web site. Since I was having trouble putting anything into words I sent him links to bits of it. (thanks to babble archives for pointing me here in the first place
The main web site is http://www.wingofmadness.com
Some good bits from it:
http://www.wingofmadness.com/articles/whatis.htm
http://www.wingofmadness.com/blog/feel/index
http://www.wingofmadness.com/information/best_things.htm.phpand the "what not to say list"
http://www.wingofmadness.com/information/worst_things.htm
Posted by AuntieMel on June 7, 2004, at 15:15:42
In reply to Re: My family is driving me crazy! » Dr. Bob, posted by AuntieMel on June 7, 2004, at 15:00:30
Posted by spoc on June 7, 2004, at 19:38:04
In reply to Re: My family is driving me crazy! » Dr. Bob, posted by AuntieMel on June 7, 2004, at 15:00:30
> and the "what not to say list"
> http://www.wingofmadness.com/information/worst_things.htm
<<<< And my personal favorite (NOT): "What did you do all day?" Or "What did you do last weekend," "What are you doing next weekend," etc. I do work (at home), but that's about it now, and I am single. I do not have any stories to tell of the type friends were used to hearing from me before, or anything but discomfort with questions like that. I have asked people, apparently too subtley, to avoid those kinds of questions. Ask me my opinion on something, talk about yourself, anything else. But it always reverts before long, that's just the way "normal" people converse and I guess I can't expect them to remember every minute what not to say.But I will avoid answering the phone a lot, then sometimes get those messages saying "In case you're screening, I'll be around later..." WHY do people feel the need to list where you may be, or that you may be screening, on your answering machine?
But maybe, just maybe, I create more confusion by not having admitted to a single person point-blank that I *am* depressed, even though it's been about 1.5 years since I vaporized...
Posted by AuntieMel on June 7, 2004, at 23:14:58
In reply to Re: Things not to say, posted by spoc on June 7, 2004, at 19:38:04
If they ask what I did, I can smile vaguely and say 'oh, you know - what did you do?' and get away with it. But I hate lying, so the one I hate - and hear often - is 'how was your weekend'
Ugh.But my favourite from the list is "But it's all in your mind.".....Really? I thought it was all in my brain.
Posted by spoc on June 8, 2004, at 15:04:23
In reply to Re: Things not to say » spoc, posted by AuntieMel on June 7, 2004, at 23:14:58
.... I like you. :- )
Oh, not like THAT, don't get nervous, ha ha.
--------
P.S...I saw you say somewhere "just call me..." but I can't remember if it was "Mel" or "Auntie." Let me know sometime if I got it wrong!FYI: Me, I may (regrettably) have "spoc" as my handle, but it's not Trekkie-related ("not that there's anything wrong with that").
Posted by AuntieMel on June 8, 2004, at 16:13:54
In reply to Re: HEY MEL.... » AuntieMel, posted by spoc on June 8, 2004, at 15:04:23
I said call me Mel - both my friends do.
The Auntie part is from the kids of a dear friend in the UK. And when we go sightseeing (or geocaching) they always call it a "Mel adventure"
I used to see them quite often, but work doesn't take me that direction much anymore. I sure do miss them.
Posted by AuntieMel on June 8, 2004, at 16:16:55
In reply to Re: Things not to say, posted by spoc on June 7, 2004, at 19:38:04
My unfavourite one is "You have it so good, why aren't you happy?" Probably because it's true. I do have it pretty good. But being sad when you have nothing to be sad about is the definition of depression, isn't it.
Posted by AuntieMel on June 8, 2004, at 16:18:32
In reply to Re: HEY MEL.... » AuntieMel, posted by spoc on June 8, 2004, at 15:04:23
Posted by spoc on June 8, 2004, at 17:03:05
In reply to I like you too, spock. (nm) » spoc, posted by AuntieMel on June 8, 2004, at 16:18:32
... I've been thought to be a Trekkie since my arrival, but the name choice only came from initials and stuff. However, I have indeed confirmed here that I do have a dry, analytical Vulcan in me, so the name has turned out to be ironic. But it's not my predominant side, and no "K" allowed! ;- )
Ya know what I like about the name "Auntie Mel?" It summons up an image that makes me laugh. I don't know of many Mels, offhand just Mel from Mel's Diner on Alice or whatever that show was. So I picture a person who is both sweet as apple pie at times, but can be tough as nails too. I think that's very cute. And of course you don't seem "tough," but do seem (all good) to be a realist and not one to put her head in the sand. So maybe like mine, your name holds coincidental insights into your personality too? Or maybe you indeed planned it that way or maybe, who the am heck am I to speculate! :- )
Posted by spoc on June 8, 2004, at 17:07:33
In reply to Re: Grrr, name change to spocnotspock :- ) » AuntieMel, posted by spoc on June 8, 2004, at 17:03:05
> Ya know what I like about the name "Auntie Mel?" It summons up an image that makes me laugh. I don't know of many Mels, offhand just Mel from Mel's Diner on Alice or whatever that show was. So I picture a person who is both sweet as apple pie at times, but can be tough as nails too. I think that's very cute.
<<<<< "Cute" as in picturing Mel in a bonnet and dress, speaking in a high-pitched woman's voice and proferring baked goods, I meant. :- )
And I know you weren't calling me a Trekkie, just funnin wit ya.
Posted by AuntieMel on June 9, 2004, at 8:50:31
In reply to Re: Grrr, name change to spocnotspock :- ) » AuntieMel, posted by spoc on June 8, 2004, at 17:03:05
Just my fingers getting ahead of my brain. Funny, until the last couple of years the fumbles were from my brain getting ahead of my fingers (mouth)
I picked the name 'cause right now I really miss the kiddiwinks - and their parents. I haven't seen them in two years, and I used to see them several times a year.
Actually, when well I'm a peace loving former hippie wannabe. I always go for comfort first, style second. It's an image that makes lots of people laugh. But not quite 'mel in a bonnet' - that's a bit too pythonish even for me.
Also, when not agorophobic, I have a strong need for adventure. Work has taken me all over the place - all continents except antarctica and africa. My favourite spots being the former soviet east european countries. I've done what a couple of what they call 'devoloping' countries too. It is impossible to shock me with a US public bathroom anymore.
I try to at least appear to be a realist - but in actually I'm more an idealist. Not a safe thing these days.
Posted by spoc on June 10, 2004, at 7:15:17
In reply to Sorry about the k » spoc, posted by AuntieMel on June 9, 2004, at 8:50:31
> I picked the name 'cause right now I really miss the kiddiwinks - and their parents. I haven't seen them in two years, and I used to see them several times a year. >
<<<<< Awww, that's gotta be rough. It's so distressing when those we are fortunate enough to have become comfortable with and close to are no longer nearby. :- (
> Actually, when well I'm a peace loving former hippie wannabe. I always go for comfort first, style second. It's an image that makes lots of people laugh. But not quite 'mel in a bonnet' - that's a bit too pythonish even for me.>
<<<<< Oh, that style makes perfect sense, nothing comical about it! And no parallel with Mel-in-bonnet! I think there may have been an episode with him dressed that way, and that is why I flashed back to it!
> Also, when not agorophobic, I have a strong need for adventure. Work has taken me all over the place - all continents except antarctica and africa. My favourite spots being the former soviet east european countries. I've done what a couple of what they call 'devoloping' countries too. >
<<<<<< Wow, what a dream! That's fabulous. I'm starting to think I'll never make it much of anywhere, and I had always given myself more credit than that!
> I try to at least appear to be a realist - but in actually I'm more an idealist. Not a safe thing these days.
<<<<<< I think we can be both. Some types of idealists may only think about how things should be, including having ideals that see any boat/status quo-rocking as something to avoid. A realist/idealist may factor in how things actually are (what needs to be changed) in thinking about what should/could be. Since some of it *can't* be changed, but through keeping their eyes wide open they'll spot the things that can be, or that have intrinsic value to at least acknowledge. I agree though, we should do only as much as our energy and sanity allows.
....ok, enough, get to work, spoc! :- )
This is the end of the thread.
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