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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by justyourlaugh on April 14, 2004, at 7:36:44
most of you are at this higher plain.
i took a big fall backwards and i am slowly crawling out.
i have not any friends to call and my family thinks i am a big joke.
i cant paint or read or do anything that gives me any pleasure.
i was crying in the pdoc's office yesterday
and he assured me that i will over come this as he threw more medication at me..
i dont know who to trust?
if i just stop taking everything will i be able to find me?
this is not a good day.
Posted by EmmyS on April 14, 2004, at 7:54:35
In reply to i wonder?...., posted by justyourlaugh on April 14, 2004, at 7:36:44
I think a lot of us have heard that little voice telling us to quit our meds. My history has shown me that's always been a bad idea - I always got worse. For me, that little voice is depression's voice talking to me. Depression calls to us, and wants us to fuel it. Tell depression to shut the #$%*@ up. Tell depression that you are in charge.
I'm so sorry you are going through a stinky time. We don't know each other...but I know your friends here REALLY love you. Keep on posting. I love seeing your name again.
Emmy
Posted by justyourlaugh on April 14, 2004, at 8:09:46
In reply to Re: i wonder?.... » justyourlaugh, posted by EmmyS on April 14, 2004, at 7:54:35
thankyou for the kind words emmy,
i thought it was lucifer scrub brush whispering in my ear...
taking medication makes me feel "dirty" like drinking..i know part of it is because my c does not want me taking anything..he told me before he left"depression"was not a word to him..
i guess i am nothing to him..
what a cruel thing to say.
tea is ready...lets use the fine china today..
do you take cream emmy?
j
Posted by rainyday on April 14, 2004, at 8:36:50
In reply to i wonder?...., posted by justyourlaugh on April 14, 2004, at 7:36:44
This is such a familar refrain... it is such an isolating illness, and it is impossible to see that your situation will ever improve.
But it does. Take the meds, trust your doctors (if they have helped you before, otherwise find another one!), please believe that this will get better.
You aren't alone. Even if your friends seem to have evaporated (or, in my case, came and went with each school I went to and every job I have held), you know that there is a whole bunch of people here at PB who know EXACTLY where you are coming from.
rainyday
Posted by justyourlaugh on April 14, 2004, at 8:44:09
In reply to Re: i wonder?.... » justyourlaugh, posted by rainyday on April 14, 2004, at 8:36:50
rainyday(it sunny here)
thankyou for reminding me that i do have friends here..
thankyou for being a friend
j
Posted by EmmyS on April 14, 2004, at 11:50:08
In reply to Re: i wonder?.... » EmmyS, posted by justyourlaugh on April 14, 2004, at 8:09:46
Yummy....tea in fine china. Just honey please.
Maybe you know how a bottle of booze calls out to you? If so, it's the same thing I mentioned before. It's another voice that speaks to you from the unhealthy part of you. Tell it to shut the #$@$*! up too! I used envision the bottle as having a stragley moustache and made myself hear the shark theme from Jaws when I saw one! :-)
Hugs to you, but don't dare spill my dang tea.
Emmy
Posted by antigua on April 14, 2004, at 13:15:22
In reply to i wonder?...., posted by justyourlaugh on April 14, 2004, at 7:36:44
You're not a big joke, you're just hurting right now. Whatever happened with your family, it's o.k., you're doing the best you can right now and try not to let their opinion get in the way. You know how hard you are trying, try to hold on to your self and think good things about yourself. Easier said than done, I know, but just try to have hope.
BTW, can I join the tea party? I like mine with milk and sugar. And the cup has to be semi-big so I don't drink it all in one gulp. I'll bring the sugar cookies.
antigua
Posted by noa on April 14, 2004, at 13:21:36
In reply to Re: i wonder?.... » rainyday, posted by justyourlaugh on April 14, 2004, at 8:44:09
JYL,
It must be so hard when even your husband doesn't really understand your depression.
Yes, I think about what would it be like if I went off my meds? I think that sometimes because at this point it is hard to remember which med helps with what and now that I'm not so depressed anymore do I really need all these meds?
And sometimes they frustrate me--SEs, and all.
But I know that they are helping me and I'm in no rush to do any kind of big experiment like going off of any meds. I like being stable.
PS, I take my tea with lemon. Shall I bring over the crumpets?
Posted by noa on April 14, 2004, at 13:24:02
In reply to Re: i wonder?.... » justyourlaugh, posted by EmmyS on April 14, 2004, at 11:50:08
Emmy, you are great at visualizations!!
Posted by karen_kay on April 14, 2004, at 13:42:34
In reply to i wonder?...., posted by justyourlaugh on April 14, 2004, at 7:36:44
((((jyl))))
i wish you could see your greatness
in your posts, and your writing, and your communication. it's in the way you correspond here. i can see it. i wish you could too dear. if only some of that wonderfullness could rub off onto me, kk would be such a happy girl. i can't paint. nor can i sing. or dance. i have yet to find my place too. perhaps we can find ours together dear? oh, now that would be grand. we can sip tea together (sugar and honey please!! with the china as well, and we can wear aprons and out best cocktails dresses even if we do't plan to go out.) and talk for hours and hours. perhaps we can figure things out together? two minds work better than one.and stopping the meds will only lead to disaster darling. keep trying. i have hope and faith that you will one day soon find what works for you. and then, that tea will taste SO very much better. and we can go outside and have a smoke together. how's that sound? perfect? i think so too! your day is coming dear. very, very soon. i feel it in my heart and soul. and don't worry about finding your place. i think you found it, you just don't realize it yet darling.
will you please pass the honey now? and please don't lick the container again :) yes, i saw that.....
Posted by EmmyS on April 14, 2004, at 13:53:38
In reply to Re: i wonder?.... » EmmyS, posted by noa on April 14, 2004, at 13:24:02
Noa - if you think my visualizations are good, you should see my hallucinations! :-)
Posted by gardenergirl on April 14, 2004, at 14:23:16
In reply to Re: i wonder?.... » noa, posted by EmmyS on April 14, 2004, at 13:53:38
I'd like chai please, or herbal. And fine china, what a great idea. I just may drag one of my cups down. I can bring fresh baked bread.
As long as you don't mind me inviting myself along...:)
gg
Posted by rainyday on April 14, 2004, at 14:28:38
In reply to tea party, posted by gardenergirl on April 14, 2004, at 14:23:16
> I'd like chai please, or herbal. And fine china, what a great idea. I just may drag one of my cups down. I can bring fresh baked bread.
>
> As long as you don't mind me inviting myself along...:)
>
> ggEarl Grey for me, and shortbread cookies!
Posted by Penny on April 14, 2004, at 15:31:29
In reply to i wonder?...., posted by justyourlaugh on April 14, 2004, at 7:36:44
((((JYL))))
Don't stop taking everything - I know that urge all too well, and have actually tried it, but, alas, it doesn't work.
I hope things will improve for you soon. Until then, I'm happy to hold your hand. :-)
I've been slipping a bit more than I'd like to admit.
Trust yourself first and foremost. I think you know yourself better than anyone.
(((JYL)))
P
Posted by Penny on April 14, 2004, at 15:32:44
In reply to tea party, posted by gardenergirl on April 14, 2004, at 14:23:16
Mmmm...Earl Gray for me too. With milk and sugar.
And a scone? Perhaps cinnamon would be tasty.
I've been treating myself to an evening cup of hot tea lately. It's quite relaxing.
:-)
Posted by pegasus on April 14, 2004, at 15:41:52
In reply to Re: tea party, posted by Penny on April 14, 2004, at 15:32:44
Can I join JYL's tea party? Tea is my favorite beverage. Well, next to fresh squeezed orange juice. But I get tea a lot more frequently. Lately I prefer green tea, but I'll happily sip whatever you're serving.
Can we have crumpets? Or possibly petit fours? Or little sandwiches with the crusts cut off and watercress? Shall we wear gloves? And hats?
pegasus
Posted by Penny on April 14, 2004, at 15:55:54
In reply to Re: tea party, posted by pegasus on April 14, 2004, at 15:41:52
Ya' know - I've never had watercress. Though I do enjoy cucumber sandwiches with dill weed. Yum.
:-)
P
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