Psycho-Babble Social Thread 305228

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Depression and ambivalence

Posted by vilkas on January 25, 2004, at 0:37:32

Hi to everyone.
I apologise for this thread if it seems a bit strange, but I have been wondering if my experiences are the same as others here with depression. What I have started to notice is that since becoming extremely depressed, I have started to do things and take more risks than I ever have before. I'm certain it comes from the ambivalence that depression brings. These days I have no fear of anything, I just don't care. I used to be anxious in social situations, but now it doesn't bother me. eg I met a girl about a month ago in a social situation, and we really clicked. A few years ago I would have just let her go and done nothing about it, for fear of rejection, humiliation, embarrassment, but because I no longer care, I just dived right in and made sure we kept in touch. On the other hand, there are plenty of situations where ambivalence can be a very bad thing. But I am intrigued as to whether anyone has experienced this. To me it seems like I am becoming the person I should have always been, and it's partly thanks to depression. But at the same time, there are risks that come along for the ride, and also, even though some good things are happening (eg the girl), I still can't feel the emotional highs that I used to.
I don't know if there's much of a point to my rambling...but I had to get it out.

take it easy,
vilkas.

 

Re: Depression and ambivalence » vilkas

Posted by Dinah on January 25, 2004, at 9:49:32

In reply to Depression and ambivalence, posted by vilkas on January 25, 2004, at 0:37:32

Are you on any medications? They can be disinhibiting.

 

Re: Depression and ambivalence

Posted by 8 Miles on January 25, 2004, at 16:47:23

In reply to Depression and ambivalence, posted by vilkas on January 25, 2004, at 0:37:32

Hey Vilkas,

Though Dianah did ask you, it would be important to know if you are taking meds (and what if you wish to share). Are you seeing a Pdoc or going to counseling? Lack of interest in the "everyday things" of life IS one of the major SYMPTOMS of depression, generally not the result of TREATMENT for depression. Loss of interest in things that you used to enjoy, feelings of complacency, lack of energy, disregard for the outcome of your actions, sleep disorders and mental cloudiness are just a few of the 10 or so "signs/symptoms" that are used to DX depression. So, if I were to hazard a guess, you probably are not getting treated? Your age, social circumstances, life events etc... can all affect the degree to which you become depressed. Soooooooo...........I would suggest that if you are NOT seeing a Pdoc, that you get your GP to send you to one. Nothing against GPs, but they can handle a stomach bug or a hurt back, but psychiatry is not purely pushing meds w/o a clear and full understanding of psychopharmacology. Also, I have found that having a counselor to talk to is very important in working out specific life situations. Few Pdocs have the time to engage in full counseling as well as treating your symptoms medically. You will quickly find that the fees can be very high for Pdoc counseling, whereas it might be only $15 for a 50-60 counseling visit (depending on your insurance and the co-pay you have to put out) so, the two really work better in concert). Please feel free to respond to this any way you wish. I don't think you have to worry about what others will say.

Hope you find the right thing,

8

 

Re: Depression and ambivalence » vilkas

Posted by Elle2021 on January 25, 2004, at 23:21:58

In reply to Depression and ambivalence, posted by vilkas on January 25, 2004, at 0:37:32

Hmm...sounds like this depression this is working out for you. (Just kidding, bad joke)

I have to admit that I usually get that way when I'm manic. Thats when I feel free to take risk after risk... Could you be manic?
Elle

 

Re: Depression and ambivalence » vilkas

Posted by cubic_me on January 27, 2004, at 10:52:27

In reply to Depression and ambivalence, posted by vilkas on January 25, 2004, at 0:37:32

I don't care about things when I'm depressed either - I had a pdoc appt yesterday and didn't mind whether I went or not, if someone doesn't like me it doesn't bother me, and I don't really care if I look both ways before crossing the road or not.

I think its partly because when I'm depressed I have a lack of respect for myself. I think that whatever happens is fine by me - I get walked over and I walk over myself.

 

Re: Depression and ambivalence » cubic_me

Posted by Racer on January 28, 2004, at 20:55:47

In reply to Re: Depression and ambivalence » vilkas, posted by cubic_me on January 27, 2004, at 10:52:27

Sounds pretty familiar. While it sounds as if you're seeing one of the few highlights of depression, it's still Not A Good Thing and should be treated. It's not that a depressed state is part of a continuum of normal and we want everyone at the middle of the bell curve, but that depression does cause a lot of damage, and it can be pretty progressive. It sounds as if your inhibitions are lower, which would be a good thing if it came from increased confidence. Sorta like big muscles can be a good thing, but usually aren't if they come from steriod abuse. Does that make sense?

I'm with everyone else here about treatment, though. If you're not getting treatment, find a way to get it. If you are getting treatment, talk to your doctor about this, because it may mean that you haven't gotten stabilized yet.

Good luck.


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