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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by NewMom on January 13, 2004, at 15:16:53
Can erotic transference apply to other doctors besides therpists? Like an GP or OB/GYN?
Posted by Angielala on January 13, 2004, at 15:44:56
In reply to Erotic transference, posted by NewMom on January 13, 2004, at 15:16:53
It's probably going to make me look weird by asking but... what is erotic transference?
> Can erotic transference apply to other doctors
besides therpists? Like an GP or OB/GYN?
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 13, 2004, at 15:58:18
In reply to Erotic transference, posted by NewMom on January 13, 2004, at 15:16:53
I think so, definitely! I'm a straight female but developed a HUGE crush on a physical therapist I had a couple of years ago who was also female. For me, it has to do with authority figures or caregivers, doesn't matter what the sex is. I think you can have erotic transference with your dentist, your hairdresser, your vet, whatever..
Posted by NewMom on January 13, 2004, at 17:53:04
In reply to Re: Erotic transference, posted by Angielala on January 13, 2004, at 15:44:56
> It's probably going to make me look weird by asking but... what is erotic transference?
>
> > Can erotic transference apply to other doctors
> besides therpists? Like an GP or OB/GYN?
>
>From what I read, it's when a person has feelings of love towards their theripsts. One reason that is cited is because the patient is looking for love from his/her mother that they didn't get.
For me that's not it. I have a huge crush on my doctor. I mean, I fantasize about this guy. He's recently single, my age, incredibly attractive, (the bluest eyes I've ever seen!) has a gentle mannerism, and is very easy-going. I'm happily married (most of the time!) with a new baby, but I can't help feeling like I'd rather be with my doctor. My last appointment with him (for the next year) was last week. In fact, we want to have another baby and I think I want to get pregnant again right away just so I can begin to regularly see him again.
I know I just have to get over it, as it will never happen. I'm trapped in my house right now, as I can't take the baby out because of the raging flu epidemic here. Maybe when I return to work and have something else to think about, the feelings will fade. I hope so.
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2004, at 19:37:08
In reply to Re: Erotic transference, posted by NewMom on January 13, 2004, at 17:53:04
Sending positive "new mom" vibes your way. There were times when I just had to put the baby in the snugli and walk. But he was a few months old then.
How old is your little one. I am soooo impressed you're thinking of another one so soon.
I was glad my ob/gyn and related nurses were women. I'm surprised my husband stayed with me after watching peri-care. He still shudders over that one. And I'm positive I wouldn't want a good looking man with his hand, well never mind....
Posted by NewMom on January 13, 2004, at 23:40:15
In reply to Re: Erotic transference » NewMom, posted by Dinah on January 13, 2004, at 19:37:08
My little one is 8 weeks. I guess I still consider myself a "new mom" as this is my first at age 36.
Yes, at 30 weeks, I changed from an older female doctor, who I had been seeing for ten years, to the younger, attractive male doctor. It was different as I had always been to a female doctor.
> Sending positive "new mom" vibes your way. There were times when I just had to put the baby in the snugli and walk. But he was a few months old then.
>
> How old is your little one. I am soooo impressed you're thinking of another one so soon.
>
> I was glad my ob/gyn and related nurses were women. I'm surprised my husband stayed with me after watching peri-care. He still shudders over that one. And I'm positive I wouldn't want a good looking man with his hand, well never mind....
Posted by All Done on January 14, 2004, at 0:40:32
In reply to Re: Erotic transference, posted by NewMom on January 13, 2004, at 17:53:04
> > It's probably going to make me look weird by asking but... what is erotic transference?
> >
> > > Can erotic transference apply to other doctors
> > besides therpists? Like an GP or OB/GYN?
> >
> >
>
> From what I read, it's when a person has feelings of love towards their theripsts. One reason that is cited is because the patient is looking for love from his/her mother that they didn't get.
>
> For me that's not it. I have a huge crush on my doctor. I mean, I fantasize about this guy. He's recently single, my age, incredibly attractive, (the bluest eyes I've ever seen!) has a gentle mannerism, and is very easy-going. I'm happily married (most of the time!) with a new baby, but I can't help feeling like I'd rather be with my doctor. My last appointment with him (for the next year) was last week. In fact, we want to have another baby and I think I want to get pregnant again right away just so I can begin to regularly see him again.
>
> I know I just have to get over it, as it will never happen. I'm trapped in my house right now, as I can't take the baby out because of the raging flu epidemic here. Maybe when I return to work and have something else to think about, the feelings will fade. I hope so.
>
>NewMom,
Congratulations on your new baby! When I had my son, I experienced the same thing as you. My feelings did fade (especially after I wasn't seeing him so regularly anymore), but I must admit, I develop crushes on just about any male caregiver or authority figure. After reading the relatively small amount I have on transference, I've decided it must be that. : ) Was there some other "need" besides love that you may have been missing from your parents?
One thing I can assure you is that if you're going back to work (as I did), you're probably not going to have much time for fantasizing about much more than maybe sleep and perhaps an occasional bubble bath. ; )
Good luck with your little one!
All Done
Posted by Angielala on January 15, 2004, at 10:18:20
In reply to Re: Erotic transference, posted by NewMom on January 13, 2004, at 17:53:04
That makes total sense. I wonder if that's why i insist on all female docs, so I will never have that chance to devlop a crush. Hmm.
I could see how erotic tranference would relate to your OB/GYN, even though I'm so new to the subject... this is a man that helped care for you in your most sensitive stage. You can trust him with your body, and he has a strong interest in your health and your baby's health- which is something I'm sure that new moms need to feel- the love of other's for your health AND the baby's. It seems that you are going through something very normal. Don't let yourself feel guilty for those crush feelings, and don't worry about how your feelings are. After a baby your body is trying to get back to it's pre-pregnant stage and you have tons of hormones running through you. I'd guess (and this is only my own thought) that you really don't want to "be" with the doc, you are just very appreciative of his services and being a good doc- he sounds like a good doc.... let me tell you how many women would cringe if asked if they liked their OB/GYN.. haha
I crush a lot... and I always find myself with this weird guilt. I let it run it's course, and of course do everything I can not to act on it... and sooner or later I realize that the person I had a crush on isn't all I thought he would be, and then the crush is ruined- I realize that I liked one aspect of the person, and only saw that one aspect until I learned more about the person.
I think I'm babbling now- I'm sorry. I just understand how you feel- even if my crushes weren't on docs- quite the oppisite, I tend to crush on the guys who need a lot of help- which seems pretty close to the reasons why erotic tranference happens.
What's your new baby's name???? Tell me all the joys of being a mom!
> > It's probably going to make me look weird by asking but... what is erotic transference?
> >
> > > Can erotic transference apply to other doctors
> > besides therpists? Like an GP or OB/GYN?
> >
> >
>
> From what I read, it's when a person has feelings of love towards their theripsts. One reason that is cited is because the patient is looking for love from his/her mother that they didn't get.
>
> For me that's not it. I have a huge crush on my doctor. I mean, I fantasize about this guy. He's recently single, my age, incredibly attractive, (the bluest eyes I've ever seen!) has a gentle mannerism, and is very easy-going. I'm happily married (most of the time!) with a new baby, but I can't help feeling like I'd rather be with my doctor. My last appointment with him (for the next year) was last week. In fact, we want to have another baby and I think I want to get pregnant again right away just so I can begin to regularly see him again.
>
> I know I just have to get over it, as it will never happen. I'm trapped in my house right now, as I can't take the baby out because of the raging flu epidemic here. Maybe when I return to work and have something else to think about, the feelings will fade. I hope so.
>
>
Posted by NewMom on January 15, 2004, at 18:07:11
In reply to Re: Erotic transference, posted by Angielala on January 15, 2004, at 10:18:20
It's different for me. I love my son, but after 10 years of marriage and doing anything I wanted it's different. I had a tough recovery period after my c-section. Tired and sore for a while, then spinal headaches (so painful I couldn't get out of bed) for four weeks after that. Plus, because of the ragging flu epidemic where I live, the peditrition said not to take the baby out of the house!
That being said, I'm now enjoying my son. He's "talking" a lot and smiling. He's a good sleeper and my husband is good with letting me take a nap in the early evening after he gets home. I can't wait for him to start walking and talking. There are lots of things we want to do with him, including giving him a little sister!
> That makes total sense. I wonder if that's why i insist on all female docs, so I will never have that chance to devlop a crush. Hmm.
>
> I could see how erotic tranference would relate to your OB/GYN, even though I'm so new to the subject... this is a man that helped care for you in your most sensitive stage. You can trust him with your body, and he has a strong interest in your health and your baby's health- which is something I'm sure that new moms need to feel- the love of other's for your health AND the baby's. It seems that you are going through something very normal. Don't let yourself feel guilty for those crush feelings, and don't worry about how your feelings are. After a baby your body is trying to get back to it's pre-pregnant stage and you have tons of hormones running through you. I'd guess (and this is only my own thought) that you really don't want to "be" with the doc, you are just very appreciative of his services and being a good doc- he sounds like a good doc.... let me tell you how many women would cringe if asked if they liked their OB/GYN.. haha
>
> I crush a lot... and I always find myself with this weird guilt. I let it run it's course, and of course do everything I can not to act on it... and sooner or later I realize that the person I had a crush on isn't all I thought he would be, and then the crush is ruined- I realize that I liked one aspect of the person, and only saw that one aspect until I learned more about the person.
>
> I think I'm babbling now- I'm sorry. I just understand how you feel- even if my crushes weren't on docs- quite the oppisite, I tend to crush on the guys who need a lot of help- which seems pretty close to the reasons why erotic tranference happens.
>
> What's your new baby's name???? Tell me all the joys of being a mom!
>
>
>
> > > It's probably going to make me look weird by asking but... what is erotic transference?
> > >
> > > > Can erotic transference apply to other doctors
> > > besides therpists? Like an GP or OB/GYN?
> > >
> > >
> >
> > From what I read, it's when a person has feelings of love towards their theripsts. One reason that is cited is because the patient is looking for love from his/her mother that they didn't get.
> >
> > For me that's not it. I have a huge crush on my doctor. I mean, I fantasize about this guy. He's recently single, my age, incredibly attractive, (the bluest eyes I've ever seen!) has a gentle mannerism, and is very easy-going. I'm happily married (most of the time!) with a new baby, but I can't help feeling like I'd rather be with my doctor. My last appointment with him (for the next year) was last week. In fact, we want to have another baby and I think I want to get pregnant again right away just so I can begin to regularly see him again.
> >
> > I know I just have to get over it, as it will never happen. I'm trapped in my house right now, as I can't take the baby out because of the raging flu epidemic here. Maybe when I return to work and have something else to think about, the feelings will fade. I hope so.
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by Waterlily on January 18, 2004, at 21:08:39
In reply to transference, posted by NewMom on January 13, 2004, at 15:16:53
My most recent crush (don't know if I want to call it that) was on my eye doctor. This was a toughie for me. He was sooo attentive before my laser vision correction. He called me twice at home on the day of surgery (afterward) and he also called me later that week even though I had just seen him for a 3 day check. I was smitten! A doctor payed that much attention to me. Wow. I was disappointed when my left eye healed up all the way. I wanted some kind of complication that would bring me back. Not a really bad complication, mind you, just a simple one. Guess what? I got it - the complication part, but not the simple part. It's fuzzy 20/25 vision in the right eye and he kept telling me that everything was fine, that I was being too picky. Grrr... I was soooo angry with him. This was bothering me and he didn't even bother to try to diagnose it. For months I complained about it and asked him all kinds of technical questions. I finally got second opinions and brought him the results (diagnosis: visual aberration causing reduced vision quality, mixed astigmatism). Then he tells me I'm his most educated patient and that I was right all along. He says that he's committed to getting me to where I want to be visually. I *get* to have another surgery, but first the technology has to advance further because there is currently NO FIX. At least I don't have a crush anymore. That's fixed.
Enough with my boring, drawn out story. What I want to say here is that there's a darned good reason to have crushes on doctors. First off, it's a nurturing, obligation-less relationship. He takes care of you and all you have to do is pay him (but you don't pay attention to the money part). You can live in fantasy land, thinking that he has no flaws. Secondly, he's probably rich. Face it, he's a doctor and he's got money. Who wouldn't like that? Also, he's intelligent. I know I get a kick out of talking on the same level as someone who has more formal education than me. Makes me feel like I'm really smart. Finally, he fixed you. You had a problem and he fixed it. (Mine actually created one, but I won't go there again.) It's perfectly understandable that you'd develop feelings for him. Keep them, but don't act on them.
Good luck and kiss your baby!
This is the end of the thread.
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