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Posted by Medusa on December 24, 2003, at 8:29:13
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters » noa, posted by Dinah on December 23, 2003, at 22:23:00
> He's mentioned my appearance at least twice. Once to let me know that people who dress like I do and wear no makeup often have self esteem issues.
>
Um, yeah and not to be snarky, but I'd have said well so what issues do people with messy offices have?One therapist really ragged on my appearance in general ("mannish"), and bubbled praise when she approved of specifics. She'd probably approve of how I dress now, but mannerisms and gestures and posture aren't so easy to change. There are women who look womanly in dungarees and fleece, and even in a drapey wrap top I still have my gruff manner.
I'm about to make a fleece jacket for myself for hiking, and I'm torn between two patterns. One semi-fitted, with shoulder seams at the shoulders, the other baggy with drop shoulders. I hope I don't let some therapist's comments affect my own personal decisions like this one, and Dinah I hope that you don't, either.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 24, 2003, at 9:02:02
In reply to Tabitha's therapist's coat, posted by Medusa on December 24, 2003, at 8:14:02
Thanks for letting me continue with my therapist's choice of dress. It seems I've been dogging him on the other board, so I *need* to try to keep something positive going...
Good lord, since eye contact is SO important, why is he saving money on this end?
<<Now, I'm not sure if his glasses really reflect so much that it is to the point that it annoys me, or if I'm just making excuses not to make eye contact. Well,,,, I'm certain they do reflect because I wouldn't make excuses about anything. So, now the hard question comes. Should I broach the matter? I'm going to be seriously annoyed with him my next visit anyway, so I don't mind getting into it. But, I don't want to give him any ammunition to shoot back. In other words, I don't want him to say, "Now Karen, that's BS. You don't make eye contact because of the subject. You're just finding petty annoyances to point out. Let's get back to the discussion." He becomes quite frustrated with me anyway, which in turn leaves me feeling hostile and staring at his sometimes scuffed shoes.
Scuffed dress shoes is a sign of so many qualities I don't appreciate
<<They are only sometimes scuffed. And not bad at all. Only minor. It's just something I notice from time to time. I'm overly-critical. I'd never point that out. I guess it happens to the best of us.
What do you wear to therapy these days?
<<Well, during finals I wore khakis (nice ones, not cargo pants, yuck!) and a nice black sweater with a swanky pair of black boots with a heel. The khakis emphasized my arse and the sweater emphasized my neck. No cleavage, promise :) But, typically I wear something similar to business casual. Dress slacks and nice dress shirt with a pair of dress boots. On occassion I do pair up jeans with a nice shirt or sweater, but only if I don't have anything that I have to do that day and I plan on coming home and changing into my pj's!!
My problem is that I think for some reason EVERYTHING will be ok if I look ok. That people won't know I'm not ok if I don't look ok. That I won't know I'm not ok if I look good. I think I can fool myself. It's worked this long.Where's he get his socks?
<<I've never thought to ask. You're bringing up so many questions for me :) But they almost always have patterns that match the color of his tie. I wonder sometimes if his wife dresses him. But, my old man dresses nice as well, and I don't always have to dress him. I have to help him pick out ties and socks and shoes, but I don't have to dress him. As for the socks, I'd say he buys them at a high-end store. They're similar to the type my old man wears as well. Maybe that's why I always notice them.
Color, or pattern and finish too?<<Since he always opts for brown, he wears a brown belt and brown shoes. The belts never have a pattern, but there is a finish. It's a bit shiny, but it matches his shoes perfectly.
He's a snazzy dresser! But, not over the top like Dinah's. And he's never once been overly critical of me. He makes comments to me about my dress. When I used to come in looking especially nice, he'd say, "Do you have a job interview?" And I'd say, in my sexiest voice, "No, I'm just here to see you." And he'd just laugh. This continued for about a month. Then I finally said, "Listen this is getting to be a pain in my butt. I have to come home from class, redo my hair and makeup, change my clothes and get back in here within an hour. Give me permission to wear jeans!" And he'd just say, "Well, you look nice, but you can wear what you want. You should be comfortable." So, he kept telling me how nice I looked. Stupid therapist!
As for the coat, he has to wear one. Maybe he keeps it in the lounge? I'll sneak in there one day and scope the place out. Maybe he'll lock me up? But, at least I'll know what his coat looks like...
Posted by Karen_kay on December 24, 2003, at 11:47:54
In reply to Miss Honeychurch's therapist's shirts, posted by Medusa on December 24, 2003, at 7:59:05
> > 1. Wears short sleeve dress shirts with ties.
>
> And no jacket?***Hello, And no jacket??? Of course he doesn't wear a jacket. I'm surprised the man comes in with his fly zipped. Miss Honey, his fly is zipped, isn't it?
> >shirts are so thin you can see his undershirt.
>
> Well, thank goodness he has the undershirt on, no? Imagine what else you'd be seeing!***I highly doubt you'd see anything but fur, if you judge it according to his leg hair. And that's a fine predictor of what his chest would look like. Why even bother wearing a shirt??
>
> >a sleeveless one!
>
> A "wifebeater"? ;) Oh gosh I sure hope that doesn't make the wifebeaters on the board feel insulted or put down ...***How kind of you. Ha ha ha ha ha....
> Actually all the men I've known (not ALL in the biblical sense!) have worn these. Oh wait, my father wears the ones with sleeves. What would Freud say about my undershirt-type selection? He had opinions on slips ...
***He sounds rather backwards in his fashion taste, or lack thereof. I'd say the wifebeater is fine in the summer or with the short sleeved shirt (because it would be worse if the sleeve of his undershirt hung out over his dress shirt). And it sounds like he just might make that fashion faux pas! I only wish I could draw a picture.> > 3. wears "Top Siders."
>
> No idea what these are.
***Miss Honey.. What is that?? High tops??
Tennis shoes?? I'm just dying to know so we can keep making fun of him!
> > 4. Wears short socks so when he crosses his legs you can see his leg hair (of which there is a lot)
>
> Naaaaaaaaaaaaaasty!
***Do you stare at his leg hair rather than make eye contact? I stare at my therapist's socks often, but they're rather charming... Is it black? Look like a spider?
> > 5. When wearing a sweater, he TUCKS IT IN his pants!!
> >
>
> Snort. I did this ONCE (to a therapy session no less!) years and years ago because I'd pulled on pants and was rushing out the door and suddenly the pants were too big, and the sweater got them up to the lowest belt-buckle size. It was a hand-knit cable fisherman cardigan, and maybe my therapist posted about it on her therapy-clients-fashion-faux-pas list.***SNORT!!! You tucked a sweater into you pants? Were they jeans or slacks? Guess it doesn't matter either way.... At least you have an excuse for it. Now, does your therapist wear his pants way up high? And I take it he is rather thin? This is why you see so much leg hair. Ask him to pull his pants down a bit. That his leg hair is distracting you. You feel as if you are talking to an endangered species rather than a person. And tell him that you refuse to bring him a copy of next week's agenda until he untucks his sweater. Better yet, just put it on the agenda...
Miss Honey
2:00 Agenda2:00-2:02 Don Juan's Lack of fashion
2:03-2:45 Don Juan's incessant crying and uncontrollable outburst
2:45-2:49 Reassuring Don Juan I was joking
2:49-2:50 Reschedule and FarewellNow, next week he'll look brand-*spanking* new!
> It was time for a topic like this. Thanks Miss Honeychurch! I look forward to your further installments.
**Me too!!!
Posted by tabitha on December 24, 2003, at 14:31:13
In reply to Re: Miss Honeychurch's therapist's shirts » Medusa, posted by Karen_kay on December 24, 2003, at 11:47:54
They're these things
http://www.sperrytopsider.com/images/leather.jpg
In the 80's all the preppy guys wore them with no socks.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 24, 2003, at 14:43:16
In reply to Re: What Top Siders Are, posted by tabitha on December 24, 2003, at 14:31:13
Tabitha, how did you know that? And thank you for the picture. It was so very nice to include three different styles.
Miss Honey....
His choice in shoe seems to go along with the rest of his wardrobe. How old is he? Where do you live? Do you think I could possibly just book one appointment with him? Just one... I jsut want to see what he looks like in real life. He reminds me of a man in his late 80's actually. Pants pulled up to his chin, white athletic socks with the top siders, sweater tucked into his pants... You get the idea. Honestly, how in the world could you get a crush on a man who looks as if he gets dressed in his grandfather's closet? And again, be sure to check next time if his fly is zipped, ok? Do it for me. And make sure he's watching when you do it :)
Karen
Posted by Medusa on December 24, 2003, at 14:44:08
In reply to Re: What Top Siders Are, posted by tabitha on December 24, 2003, at 14:31:13
> In the 80's all the preppy guys wore them with no socks.
>well, barefoot is better than with white athletic socks ...
what do preppy guys wear now?
Posted by Karen_kay on December 24, 2003, at 15:27:05
In reply to Re: What Top Siders Are, posted by Medusa on December 24, 2003, at 14:44:08
what do preppy guys wear now?
I'd say anything from Old Navy, American Eagle, The GAp...... There's a difference between looking nice and being preppy. I think that being preppy would consist of buying anything you see on the Old Navy or American Eagle or The Gap commercial and looking classy would be incorporating your own style and sense of flair into your clothing. I wouldn't necesarily say that Old Navy is dressy by any means but I would have to say that there is no sense of direction in the clothing. Almost like GRAnimals or whatever you call the childrens clothing. You could essentially pick anything up off the wrack and put them together and you have an instant outfit that matches. Without taste or style. And you look like a carbon copy of everyone else you see walking through the mall, in the coffee shop, riding on the bus... You get the picture.....
Posted by noa on December 24, 2003, at 15:49:21
In reply to Re: What Top Siders Are » Medusa, posted by Karen_kay on December 24, 2003, at 15:27:05
We used to call them Docksiders.
Posted by 8 Miles on December 24, 2003, at 16:17:07
In reply to Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 23, 2003, at 12:14:44
Well, I didn't read the other follow-ups, but here's my spin on the subject. Didn't you have college professors who dressed in the same manner? Some of the most intelligent people I know have no clue (or no care?) about "fashion". Personally, I find it a point of humor more than a fashion statement. Some people literally get so caught up in their work that they neglect simple things like cleaning their sink of dishes, etc. Perhaps THEY are the ones who have the right attitude. I wish I could not worry about all the stuff I worry about! I mean gesse, I've got my worrying booked up for the next year! I do wear nice shoes ( I buy a new pair every 4 years or so, whether I need them or not).
Maybe it's just me.
8
Posted by fallsfall on December 24, 2003, at 16:59:19
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters » Miss Honeychurch, posted by 8 Miles on December 24, 2003, at 16:17:07
My therapist wears bowties sometimes. Sometime he wears regular ties. I think the bowties are cute.
His socks are long, and he often pulls them up at the beginning of a session.
I haven't been wearing any socks with my loafers. My daughter stole some of my socks, and I didn't have that many to begin with. If I wore socks all the time, I would have to:
1. Find a pair that matches
2. Take the time to put them on
3. Do laundry on a regular basis
4. Have to take off both my shoes AND socks in order to go barefoot in my houseDefinately not worth it. I'm glad he wears socks, though.
Posted by tabitha on December 24, 2003, at 17:27:05
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by fallsfall on December 24, 2003, at 16:59:19
I hear you on the socks issue, Falls. Having to match them up after doing laundry is my downfall. I've tried buying all the same color, but they never *quite* match, and then having them so close just makes it all the harder to find ones that really do match.
Posted by Dinah on December 24, 2003, at 19:21:04
In reply to Re: What Top Siders Are, posted by tabitha on December 24, 2003, at 14:31:13
I was wondering what strange idiosyncracy that was in an otherwise too well dressed man. But he wears those shoes, and with no socks. (And he has no leg hair, oddly enough. I don't want to think about it. Shudder.)
Posted by noa on December 25, 2003, at 9:07:51
In reply to Re: So that's why he goes sockless!!! » tabitha, posted by Dinah on December 24, 2003, at 19:21:04
OK, see now that is wierd! Well dressed above the ankles, but boat shoes with no socks?????!! Very strange.
Unless his clothes are quintessential preppie? What kinds of things does he wear?
Posted by Dinah on December 25, 2003, at 13:18:34
In reply to Re: So that's why he goes sockless!!! » Dinah, posted by noa on December 25, 2003, at 9:07:51
Hmmm... His clothes really vary widely in style I suppose. He always wears long sleeves. And his clothes always look like they're high quality and extremely neat, well pressed, shiny (if they're supposed to be), and new. I think when he goes sockless, it's on casual Fridays and he probably is dressed in quintessential preppy style. When that Regis look was hot, he used to come in in the dark shirts and ties (is that right?). I used to smile to myself. Those must have all gotten thrown out, because I never see them anymore.
In some ways I think it's kind of little boy cute. Like he's trying to make sure he's wearing the proper grown up costume. He seems very boyish sometimes. (I'm almost positive I remember seeing him lick his finger to remove an imperceptible smudge from his shoe.)
While I'm simultaneously totally convinced that he's as old as Dumbledore and twice as wise.
Ah, transference....
Posted by Waterlily on December 25, 2003, at 16:23:45
In reply to Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 23, 2003, at 12:14:44
My therapist's upper two front teeth overlap. It looks odd and makes it difficult for me to discuss my teeth overhaul with her (I'm currently 21 months into orthodontic treatment to be followed by two dental implants to replace genetically missing teeth). I'm always afraid to talk about it because she might think I'm thinking something bad about her teeth (I am, but I don't think badly of her as a person because of it). She has complimented me on going through all of this to improve myself. I don't know what to think of that.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 25, 2003, at 16:58:10
In reply to How about a therapist dental disaster?, posted by Waterlily on December 25, 2003, at 16:23:45
I would think of it this way... At least she is comforatable enough with herself to not have to feel as though she needs to go through the pain of having her teeth "fixed." I have a tooth that is slightly crooked and it used to really frustrated me. Now, I like it. I prefer to think it gives me character.
But, you should be able to talk aobut what you want. I'd assume that she would be able to afford to correct her teeth, if she so choses. My guess is that she doesn't. So, I'd feel free to talk away. I just wouldn't comment on hers.
Posted by LostGirl on December 28, 2003, at 21:31:34
In reply to Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 23, 2003, at 12:14:44
I love threads about therapists.
My former therapist:
You knew when the seasons were changing because in the Spring he'd suddenly switch over to short sleeve dress shirts with ties. I was shocked the first time I saw that his arms were very hairy and the hair was very dark even though his head hair and mustache were pretty gray(prematurely gray - he was late 40s). Every Fall he'd switch back to long sleeves. He almost never wore a blazer - maybe twice a year. He did like to wear sweater vests which were a little tight and not stylish. Occasionally he wore one of two cardigan sweaters and I really liked that because it reminded me of Mr. Rogers or the father on Father Knows Best and made me feel safe.Current therapist:
She has a mink coat hanging on her coat rack in the winter. She wears pointy shoes and high spiky heels. Her diamond ring is a huge rock and she wears a lot of other fancy jewelry. She also dyes her hair blonde. I hate all those things and wish she were more down to earth or earthy or something like that. Also, completely not in line with all of that is a tattoo of a rose on one inner ankle. Nearly fell out of my chair the first time I noticed it. She's early 50s.Re: Top siders - we call them boat shoes around here
Posted by Elle2021 on December 29, 2003, at 5:09:48
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by LostGirl on December 28, 2003, at 21:31:34
My therapist is a wonderful and classy dresser. He wears full suits, but sometimes he takes his suit jacket off before my appointment. He usually wears navy blue, which he looks really good in. Always has a stylish tie to match. :)
Elle
Posted by Poet on December 29, 2003, at 10:02:42
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Elle2021 on December 29, 2003, at 5:09:48
My therapist apparently only has two pairs of shoes. In spring/summer/fall she wears blue sandals (with socks in cooler weather- ugh!) Winter it's gray flats. I've been seeing her for 1 1/2 years and have never seen her wear anything else on her feet.
Clothes wise, she rotates the same few outfits, but never wears the same thing two weeks in a row.
Poet
Posted by Joslynn on December 29, 2003, at 15:20:56
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Poet on December 29, 2003, at 10:02:42
How did I miss this fun thread?
Ok, therapist (female): Wears eyeliner that is too dark/thick for her complexion. I wish I could just reach over and blend it! Wears jumpers with swirly, bohemian patterns and sandals. She is a bit overweight, so she may be trying to hid that with the big jumpers. Lately, she has lost a lot of weight though. She started exercising. I guess they don't get much exercise sitting in their chairs listening to us. She would be played by a heavier version of Judith Light perhaps?
Pdcoc (male). Dress shirts, ties, dress slacks, tweed jacket thrown over chair but usually not worn. Sometimes he pairs olive green dress slacks with his clashing light teal green shirt, I guess assuming that, hey, they are both green. (Does not get the idea of different hues and cools versus warms, but overall, a good though generic dresser.) Bald. In good shape for his age, I think he words out.
My dress: Work clothes when I see therapist directly after work. For pdoc, usualy I have time between work and appt, so I usually wear jeans or black pants and a nice top. I want to look pretty, but not seductive.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 2, 2004, at 23:33:39
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Joslynn on December 29, 2003, at 15:20:56
Well this is the first time I've been able to access the internet all Christmas vacation and I've been on the floor laughing as usual. You guys crack me up.
So I haven't seen my therapist in almost 3 weeks. I'm am absolutely DYING to see if he got any new duds for Christmas, maybe a back/chest/leg wax?
Karen, I spend about equal times staring at his eyes and leg hair alternately. I am fascinated. And he does manage to come with his fly zipped, fortunately (or maybe unfortunately, that could be another thread). And of course he doesn't wear jackets, just the short sleeve "dress" shirts with the ties.
Another offense:
1. Big Casio watch, the kind my brother wore in 7th grade in 1982
I figure by the way he dresses he must not have a girlfriend. There is no way one would let him leave the house the way he does...
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 3, 2004, at 0:16:27
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 2, 2004, at 23:33:39
Ah yes, my crush....
It is as mystifying to me as it is to you, Karen. Brace yourself again for this fact I'm about to drop on you....
He looks like Mr. Bean - Rowan Atkinson. If you still have no idea what he looks like, I'm sure you can google "Mr. Bean" and see what he looks like. Please know I have great taste in men and that my husband is beautiful and exotic.
But I always, Without fail, develop crushes on care givers. I went thru 4 months of physical therapy 4 years ago for a ruptured achilles tendon and developed a crush on my female physical therapist. The sex of the caregiver is not an issue apparently. So while he physically is a little geeky for me, it doesn't surprise me one bit that I love him. He has beautiiful brown eyes and really nice hands (hairy knuckles of course)and he is slender (I like thin men).
The first month or so of therapy was difficult for me due to the distraction of the clothing, but as I started feeling better, I was able to concentrate more on how he was helping me.
But still, I never know what I'm going to get when I walk thru that door...
I would say he is mid 40s, dark hair, dark eyes, about 5'10, thin and HAIRY. His haircut is generally bad although he does have a full head of hair. ANd he has a very cute smile, nice teeth.
How I wish I could take you to a session with me to get some of these issues ironed out... A new agenda:
Miss Honeychurch and Karen Kay
2:00 pm2:00 introductions and pleasantries
2:05 Karen discusses magnitude of Miss Honeychurch's transference issues and how Therapist is to deal with them through more physical contact, preferably mild groping
2:40 Karen discusses importance of beneficial psychological implications of long socks, long sleeve shirts, big boy watch, and the proper way to wear sweaters
2:48 Karen discusses importance of flossing before every session with Miss Honeychurch
2:49 Parting passionate kiss for Miss Honeychurch, standard handshake for Karen Kay.
Posted by Karen_kay on January 3, 2004, at 12:06:40
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters (Karen), posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 3, 2004, at 0:16:27
I am SO in love with Mr. Bean. Is it his sense of humor, his lack of charm, the way he grunts, possibly his lack of vocabulary, I'm not exactly sure. But I think I just may take you up on your offer for the visit to see your therapist. However you may not like the results. Sorry, I may not be able to control myself. I actually Tivo every episode of Bean and there was a marathon on New Years Day! :) So, let us try again with this new agenda. But, I don't mind sharing :)
BTW, I too without fail develope crushes on care givers (as well as bosses).
Karen and Miss Honey Agenda
January 4, 2003
2:00 pm2:00-2:01 Greetings and introductions
2:01-2:05 Miss Honey's transference issues
2:05-2:10 Miss Honey's "fun time" with Bean
2:10-2:11 Hug for Miss Honey and reschedule
2:11-2:12 Miss Honey is excused
2:12-4:00 Karen's time with Bean (Hey I've waited a while for Bean :)
4:00-4:01 Handshake and rescheduleSounds like quite and agenda, now doesn't it? Yuor therapist will be quite the busy man! And don't you worry, I'll fill you in on all the details!
Now, of course while he is dresing, I'll bring the proper clothing for him (including a big boy watch) and I'll be sure he doesn't tuck his sweater in. But if he looks like Bean, maybe it's cuter that he does tuck his sweater in.
Posted by All Done on January 4, 2004, at 3:06:27
In reply to Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 23, 2003, at 12:14:44
Hi all! I'm new here and just recently posted on another board, but I want to thank you guys for making me laugh (the best medicine, right?) You're hysterical! My husband must wonder about me when I inexplicably burst into laughter while thinking about what my therapist wears...
To add my two cents - My therapist (who I've been seeing for about six months) has wonderful fashion sense and had never worn an outfit twice! But something has been bothering me lately (hmm, go figure). I live in Chicago and, admittedly, the weather the past couple of weeks has been unseasonably warm, but still coat-worthy. For some reason, my therapist, after weeks of long sleeves, has taken to wearing short sleeve shirts. Why this bothers me, I have no idea, but it does.
Grooming-wise, he is also very conscious, but one session, he seemed to have missed a spot while trimming his sideburns. There were a few strands of hair a bit longer than the rest and I couldn't pay attention to anything else. I even had to change the topic once because I lost my train of thought. Slightly obsessive, perhaps.
Are they aware of the microscopes we call our eyes???
Thanks again for the laughs,
All Done
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 4, 2004, at 17:57:10
In reply to Mr. Bean, I love you! » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on January 3, 2004, at 12:06:40
The only ammendment I would make to the new agenda is to add about 35 more minutes to my "fun time" with Bean.
Mr. Bean fits into the category of those I am strangely attracted to, like Mick Jagger (get a load of him in the mid 60s - HOT!) and Phillip Seymour Hoffman.
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