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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan J on October 20, 2003, at 12:37:53
Hmmmmm, seemingly nice guy e-mails me, says I seem fascinating, look cute in my pics. Emphasizes that looks are kinda important but not deciding factor.
And yet he wants me to e-mail him a full-length picture of myself?
I feel like I'm applying for a job...
Susan
Posted by Wildflower on October 20, 2003, at 14:49:11
In reply to Internet Dating - Book 2, posted by Susan J on October 20, 2003, at 12:37:53
I hate to say it but men are more visual beings. If he already thinks you're cute, you have nothing to worry about. That is, unless he asks for a picture of you in a bathing suit or in a provacative pose. If that's the case, run, run fast.
Have you ever considered documenting all of this and writing a book? ;-)
Posted by Tabitha on October 20, 2003, at 15:30:51
In reply to Internet Dating - Book 2, posted by Susan J on October 20, 2003, at 12:37:53
He must have some figure requirement-- thinness, plumpness, largeness or smallness of bosom. Wear your most flattering dress.
Posted by octopusprime on October 20, 2003, at 20:49:04
In reply to Internet Dating - Book 2, posted by Susan J on October 20, 2003, at 12:37:53
Susan - this seems bizarre to me. (Granted, I haven't done the online dating thing, so I'm talking out of my nether regions.)
Why not just go have coffee and skip the forms in triplicate? How much information does a man need to decide how to spend 30 minutes of his life?
But if you're comfortable with it, go ahead. I would just skip to the coffee meeting part, personally.
Posted by DSCH on October 20, 2003, at 21:09:22
In reply to Internet Dating - Book 2, posted by Susan J on October 20, 2003, at 12:37:53
> I feel like I'm applying for a job...
This is also the case on the other side of the fence. $ and status tends to enter into the picture. ;-)
Posted by cybercafe on October 21, 2003, at 3:00:53
In reply to Re: Internet Dating - Book 2 » Susan J, posted by DSCH on October 20, 2003, at 21:09:22
> > I feel like I'm applying for a job...
>
> This is also the case on the other side of the fence. $ and status tends to enter into the picture. ;-)fortunately it's easier to fake money and status than looks :) :) .... uh... then again i have a lot to learn about makeup and clothes
Posted by Susan J on October 21, 2003, at 8:36:10
In reply to Re: Internet Dating - Book 2 » Susan J, posted by DSCH on October 20, 2003, at 21:09:22
> > I feel like I'm applying for a job...
>
> This is also the case on the other side of the fence. $ and status tends to enter into the picture. ;-)
>
<<What, you mean for men? See, this is a problem for me. I really, I mean *really* don't care how much money a guy makes, as long as he can support himself. Maybe that's why I keep getting guys who are so *under* ambitious about their jobs, they get fired, are aimless, have no retirement savings, all that. But I dated a guy once who literally was a millionaire, and he loved money (not even what it could get him, just money itself) to the point of excluding all else (including me) in his life.But I'm sure men run into women with minimum salary requirements. I have a coworker who needs, at minimum: a guy with $125,000 salary, good looking, tall, Catholic, never married, between 35 and 45, no children, and popular.
Do you see *any* personality traits in that list? Scary.
Isn't there a normal, middle class guy with decent communication skills, who's got some similar interests to me, and likes to laugh??:-)
Posted by Rach on October 22, 2003, at 23:08:50
In reply to Re: Internet Dating - Book 2, posted by Susan J on October 21, 2003, at 8:36:10
Hey Susan,
I'm not sure where Book 1 is - I've jumped in in the middle of your story. But here is my internet dating story...
On the website I used, I kept my profile private because I found that a million and one guys would try to contact me and I couldn't keep up with it all. I would just contact the guys I was interested in. I usually only emailed guys with pictures. I guess I thought people without pictures had something to hide (I know, a complete double standard!)
The first guy I actually met up with was a complete dud. He misrepresented himself completely. The photo he gave me was very old, (which he did tell me, but didn't tell me exactly HOW old!), and he told me he was looking to date and meet people, when he was actually just looking for sex. Had the meal with him, he paid, and we went our separate ways.
There were quite a few guys I enjoyed emailing, but never got around to meeting them. Either I got a weird vibe when I was supposed to meet them, or I just knew that it wouldn't work in 'life'. Do trust your instincts. I did meet up with a guy who I got along with, but for some reason I felt weird about meeting. Luckily I was out with a group of friends, so nothing too weird happened, but it would have been scary if we were alone together.
When I did meet guys, I made sure I told my best friend where I was, who I was with, what time, and that I would call her when it was finished. Sometimes I arranged for her to call in the middle so that I had an easy out if I needed one.
I was continually supposed to meet up with this one guy, but I always chickened out. I still email him, and would like to meet up with him sometime, but it won't be anytime soon.
That's because the last guy I met in person, I am still seeing. It's coming up to 5 months now. He wrote the best emails, and then we got along on the phone, and when we met up we ended up on a 52 hour date! We've been together ever since. Before that, I was convinced there wasn't a man out there that was relatively normal, adjusted, and caring. But I found one! Yay! So hang in there, Susan, you never know where your man may be waiting.
As to the man who wants a full length photo - that's kind of odd. Ask him why he wants it after he's already seen a photo of you. Maybe he has already been burnt and wants to make sure it really is you. I agree with what someone else said - maybe you should see if he'll cut to the chase and just meet for coffee. If he seems reluctant to do that, without giving any reasons, then I think you should give him a miss. I always made sure I spoke to the guys on the phone before I met them - have you done that? (Get his number and call him). That's when I could usually tell for sure if it would work or not.
Best of luck! Hang in there!
Rach
Posted by puravida on October 25, 2003, at 0:34:59
In reply to Re: Internet Dating - Book 2, posted by Rach on October 22, 2003, at 23:08:50
This is interesting. I have dabbled in internet dating for about four(!)years. Seems like the level of trust from both seeker and seekee is sinking as the internet dating community gets larger, as expected.
Sometimes I wonder if the whole thing is just a substitute for "gee - I need to feel loved tonight" - so you go online, get a few winks, a few warm fuzzies, and after you have had your "love," you go back to the rest of your life without the complications of a real relationship...
??
PV
Posted by cybercafe on October 25, 2003, at 13:07:31
In reply to Re: Internet Dating - Book 2, posted by Susan J on October 21, 2003, at 8:36:10
> But I'm sure men run into women with minimum salary requirements. I have a coworker who needs, at minimum: a guy with $125,000 salary, good looking, tall, Catholic, never married, between 35 and 45, no children, and popular.
hehehe that's pretty cool, i wish her all the best, but how is she doing i am curious ?
Posted by DSCH on October 26, 2003, at 4:23:15
In reply to Re: Internet Dating - Book 2, posted by puravida on October 25, 2003, at 0:34:59
> Sometimes I wonder if the whole thing is just a substitute for "gee - I need to feel loved tonight" - so you go online, get a few winks, a few warm fuzzies, and after you have had your "love," you go back to the rest of your life without the complications of a real relationship...
>
> ??
>
> PVDisposable e-mail/IM bf.... been there, done that. :-/
Posted by Medusa on October 26, 2003, at 12:50:56
In reply to Re: Internet Dating - Book 2, posted by Susan J on October 21, 2003, at 8:36:10
> $125,000 salary, good looking, tall, Catholic, never married, between 35 and 45, no children, and popular.
>If he's all this and healthy, he's gay.
Otherwise, he's a narcissist or something along those lines. Shudder ...
Posted by Dinah on October 26, 2003, at 13:28:52
In reply to Re: Internet Dating - Book 2 » Susan J, posted by Medusa on October 26, 2003, at 12:50:56
Posted by Liligoth on October 26, 2003, at 21:07:02
In reply to Internet Dating - Book 2, posted by Susan J on October 20, 2003, at 12:37:53
> Hmmmmm, seemingly nice guy e-mails me, says I seem fascinating, look cute in my pics. Emphasizes that looks are kinda important but not deciding factor.
>
> And yet he wants me to e-mail him a full-length picture of myself?
>
> I feel like I'm applying for a job...
>
> Susan
this would irk me no end but I would endeavour to find out why. Like someone else said he may want to make sure the pic is genuine this way. There may be some other reason so give him the benefit of the doubt & ask why it's important. If it's because he wants to check the size of your hips because he has a cutoff measurement tell him to go jump!
good luck & dont give up, there are a lot of nice guys out there (even if they like to wear boas <g>)!
Posted by Susan J on October 27, 2003, at 8:42:11
In reply to Re: Internet Dating - Book 2, posted by cybercafe on October 25, 2003, at 13:07:31
> > But I'm sure men run into women with minimum salary requirements. I have a coworker who needs, at minimum: a guy with $125,000 salary, good looking, tall, Catholic, never married, between 35 and 45, no children, and popular.
>
> hehehe that's pretty cool, i wish her all the best, but how is she doing i am curious ?Well, I"ve known her for 4 years, and she's not had a serious relationship at all during that time. She dates *very* frequently, probably 1 or 2 different guys a week. Not my definition of success. :-)
Susan
Posted by Susan J on October 27, 2003, at 8:49:56
In reply to Re: Internet Dating - Book 2 » Susan J, posted by Medusa on October 26, 2003, at 12:50:56
> > $125,000 salary, good looking, tall, Catholic, never married, between 35 and 45, no children, and popular.
> >
>
> If he's all this and healthy, he's gay.
>
> Otherwise, he's a narcissist or something along those lines. Shudder ...Hahahah! Don't get me started on this one! She actually said she'd be willing to put up with a guy who cheats on her if he meets her requirements.....
Gotta love freedom of choice.
Susan
>
Posted by Medusa on October 28, 2003, at 3:43:17
In reply to Re: Welcome back. Survived ok? (nm) » Medusa, posted by Dinah on October 26, 2003, at 13:28:52
Thanks Dinah! It was ... interesting. Saw a sister with whom I've kept close contact but hadn't seen face-to-face in two years. Her descriptions of our robo-mom matched my feelings exactly ...
Any way to get in touch with you other than the board? I feel more toxicity than productive interaction here.
Sorry Susan for OT-posting in your thread ...
Posted by Dinah on October 28, 2003, at 8:20:58
In reply to Re: Welcome back. Survived ok? » Dinah, posted by Medusa on October 28, 2003, at 3:43:17
It's bully for you 77 at yahoo no spaces ats and dots inserted.
My computer's broken right now tho with no time to fix it :( so it will probably be a few days.
Posted by Susan J on October 28, 2003, at 9:07:08
In reply to Re: Welcome back. Survived ok? » Dinah, posted by Medusa on October 28, 2003, at 3:43:17
This is the end of the thread.
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