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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Ayla on October 11, 2003, at 1:38:52
I know there's alot going on here but I am really feeling like nobody really wants to talk to me cause I'm new. I have left tons of posts trying to tell everyone a little about myself to maybe make it a little easier on those who have been hurt to begin to build trust with me, but I am getting very little response any more. I'm totally sorry to be complaining already I've noticed how bad it looks when I saw another newbie complaining about confusion on the boards.
Anyways I am really hoping some of you will start to speak to me a little more I would really like that. So thanks,
Ayla
Posted by Adia on October 11, 2003, at 1:50:12
In reply to I am starting to feel very isolated, posted by Ayla on October 11, 2003, at 1:38:52
Ayla,
ohh please don't feel isolated or alone...
I've been here for a month or so...so I am new too...
you know what..I too have thought 'what if now nobody can trust me? what if nobody reaches out to me? but I trust with all my heart that those of us who are truthful and honest and sincere will be able to -little by little- feel safe and accepted here...
It takes time to trust again once that trust has been betrayed so I understand those who have been hurt so badly ....and I understand their fears of other people playing games and not telling the truth. It is scary...
I am sure this will pass, there are lots of wonderful supportive honest people and I have faith that everything will be okay..
Please don't feel it's against you...
I feel we have to give time to those who have been hurt ...
and in the meantime just try to reach out and
share from our hearts...
I don't want you to feel bad or left out.
Let's give this a little time, you are not alone and I am sending you all my support...
Sorry you've been feeling this way...
Hope this helps some..
I am here with you..
Adia.
> I know there's alot going on here but I am really feeling like nobody really wants to talk to me cause I'm new. I have left tons of posts trying to tell everyone a little about myself to maybe make it a little easier on those who have been hurt to begin to build trust with me, but I am getting very little response any more. I'm totally sorry to be complaining already I've noticed how bad it looks when I saw another newbie complaining about confusion on the boards.
> Anyways I am really hoping some of you will start to speak to me a little more I would really like that. So thanks,
> Ayla
Posted by galkeepinon on October 11, 2003, at 1:50:48
In reply to I am starting to feel very isolated, posted by Ayla on October 11, 2003, at 1:38:52
Glad you found the site:-)
Sure, what would you like to talk about?
A lot of people have been posting to you~that's great. I've had times when people who were hurt to begin to build trust with me to. You're not alone. This is a big world, like Rodney King said>>>'Can't we all just get along'
It seems so much more productive, and emotionally healthier when people can, but sometimes that isn't the case unfortunately.
When I was a newbie it was tough navigating around these boards too. It's like that for all 'newbies'.
To Thy Own Self Be True...
Best wishes,
Kristen> I know there's alot going on here but I am really feeling like nobody really wants to talk to me cause I'm new. I have left tons of posts trying to tell everyone a little about myself to maybe make it a little easier on those who have been hurt to begin to build trust with me, but I am getting very little response any more. I'm totally sorry to be complaining already I've noticed how bad it looks when I saw another newbie complaining about confusion on the boards.
> Anyways I am really hoping some of you will start to speak to me a little more I would really like that. So thanks,
> Ayla
Posted by galkeepinon on October 11, 2003, at 1:54:45
In reply to Re: I am starting to feel very isolated » Ayla, posted by Adia on October 11, 2003, at 1:50:12
I couldn't have said it better.
Hang in there...
I'm keeping everyone in my prayers...
> Ayla,
> ohh please don't feel isolated or alone...
> I've been here for a month or so...so I am new too...
> you know what..I too have thought 'what if now nobody can trust me? what if nobody reaches out to me? but I trust with all my heart that those of us who are truthful and honest and sincere will be able to -little by little- feel safe and accepted here...
> It takes time to trust again once that trust has been betrayed so I understand those who have been hurt so badly ....and I understand their fears of other people playing games and not telling the truth. It is scary...
> I am sure this will pass, there are lots of wonderful supportive honest people and I have faith that everything will be okay..
> Please don't feel it's against you...
> I feel we have to give time to those who have been hurt ...
> and in the meantime just try to reach out and
> share from our hearts...
> I don't want you to feel bad or left out.
> Let's give this a little time, you are not alone and I am sending you all my support...
> Sorry you've been feeling this way...
> Hope this helps some..
> I am here with you..
> Adia.
Posted by Tabitha on October 11, 2003, at 2:01:34
In reply to I am starting to feel very isolated, posted by Ayla on October 11, 2003, at 1:38:52
The social network is disrupted right now. As a relative old-timer I'm angry that several are blocked, or are staying away to avoid further pain. It's frustrating to get to know people, then have them leave or get blocked, and have to start over with new people. I feel isolated, too.
Posted by galkeepinon on October 11, 2003, at 2:18:26
In reply to Re: I am starting to feel very isolated » Ayla, posted by Tabitha on October 11, 2003, at 2:01:34
Isolation really hurts. I feel isolated too, I just do what I know in my heart to be the right thing when I post.
Many people are hurting, myself included and it's frustrating for newcomers not to be welcomed with open arms, so that's why I am making the 'newcomers' feel welcomed despite the current circumstances.
They deserve it...
Posted by Tabitha on October 11, 2003, at 2:57:22
In reply to Isolation, posted by galkeepinon on October 11, 2003, at 2:18:26
I feel a strong physical anger reaction reading your post. I read a subtle suggestion that my intent was to make Ayla feel unwelcome. I saw it as reaching out and letting her know that old-timers are feeling the same pain of isolation as newcomers.I am so reactive to your presence here at this point, I doubt if I can see you clearly. There can only be further hurt feelings. To protect myself, I request that you do not reply to my posts anymore, and I will not reply to yours either. Dr. Bob created a rule about allowing such requests a while back and I will invoke it if needed. I would like you to observe my preference until such time that I let you know I feel differently. Thank you for respecting my wishes.
Posted by NikkiT2 on October 11, 2003, at 7:12:58
In reply to I am starting to feel very isolated, posted by Ayla on October 11, 2003, at 1:38:52
I'm sorry you feel this way.
I know I am taking somewhat of a break from posting at the moment, but thats not entirely due to whats been going on the boards here.
yes, I feel unsafe here at the moment, but I have felt like this in the past and I just have to give myself some time to rebuild that feeling. I've been here over 4 years, so I'm not about to dissapear just because of one person who doesn't seem to be leaving, though they said they would be.
And it tends to only be contentious posts here that get lots of replies!! Most of mine only get one or two as a rule, and like I said, I am hardly a newbie!!
Hope you settle in soon
Nikki
Posted by Dinah on October 11, 2003, at 7:50:55
In reply to I am starting to feel very isolated, posted by Ayla on October 11, 2003, at 1:38:52
Ayla,
I hope I'm not ignoring your posts. If I am, it's merely because I don't feel like I have anything to add to the thread, or because I'm busy or distracted. Which I have been lately, and not feeling all that well either.
I remember when I first started posting. It seemed as if my posts ended every thread and the threads I started died with no response. But I kept at it, and responded to others where I could. And still started the occasional post.
I think there is some reserve towards newcomers right now, as there often is after a blowup. I always regret it, as does everyone I think. But things return to normal, and it won't be long before you aren't considered a newcomer at all.
Posted by slinky on October 11, 2003, at 8:28:51
In reply to Re: I am starting to feel very isolated » Ayla, posted by Tabitha on October 11, 2003, at 2:01:34
I feel isolated, too.
Lets go out skipping like innocents , your carefree day.
Give us a hug sweetypip.
Posted by Kristen_03 on October 11, 2003, at 9:13:38
In reply to I am starting to feel very isolated, posted by Ayla on October 11, 2003, at 1:38:52
Good morning Ayla
I can understand your feeling of isolation totally.I have thought of even looking around to try and find another bored myself.This was the first one I came to that really stuck out of the crowed,so I have to decided to just try and stick it out.Give things time in here to settle down and hopefully as new-comers will both will eventually gain everyones trust in here.I get on here as often as I can,and will be happy to talk with you anytime you want or need..Please know that I do understand and do care :)
Take care and hang in there.
Kristen L
Posted by fallsfall on October 11, 2003, at 10:34:49
In reply to I am starting to feel very isolated, posted by Ayla on October 11, 2003, at 1:38:52
Hi Ayla,
I think your name is pretty.
I've been off in my own world for a little while, but I think I'm coming back now. What I have learned about this board (and I think that this is a really healthy attitude) is that every one needs to take care of themselves first. You are doing that by this post - good for you. I was doing it by being kind of absent while I worked on my own stuff. So people will come and go here (sometimes telling you why they are coming and going, and sometimes not telling). Please don't assume that if you are looking for a reply, but the reply doesn't come that it has anything to do with your post or with you. It is more likely that it has to do with other things that are going on in people's lives.
Sometimes it is helpful in a post to have a specific question. That is easier to respond to than a general description. Things like "Does anyone else feel this way?", or "My friend just did this and I don't know how to respond?" or "I'm feeling lonely, what can I do to fix that?"
The nice thing about this board is that you can give it as much or as little time as seems good for you. The bad thing about this board is that other people will give it as much or as little time as seems good for them - so they may not meet your needs.
Since we are unreliable (by design)it is really important to have a social support network of real people in your area. I hope you have friends or family that you can count on.
Welcome!
Posted by HannahW on October 11, 2003, at 22:22:12
In reply to Re: I am starting to feel very isolated » Ayla, posted by fallsfall on October 11, 2003, at 10:34:49
We don't AT ALL want you to feel isolated! I'm noticing that the board activity slows down on weekends. PLease don't go anywhere. We need you here.
Posted by Liligoth on October 12, 2003, at 1:16:59
In reply to Re: I am starting to feel very isolated » Tabitha, posted by slinky on October 11, 2003, at 8:28:51
> I feel isolated, too.
>
> Lets go out skipping like innocents , your carefree day.
> Give us a hug sweetypip.
>that sent coffee out my nose! sweetypip?!?&*^
Posted by Liligoth on October 12, 2003, at 1:23:09
In reply to I am starting to feel very isolated, posted by Ayla on October 11, 2003, at 1:38:52
I think all the disruption on the board is exacerbating my paranoia. Im starting to believe I see the same distinctive 'turns of phrase' in different posters' posts & its doing my head in.
Lili sinks back into the shadows for now
Posted by Ayla on October 12, 2003, at 1:56:22
In reply to Re: I am starting to feel very isolated, posted by Liligoth on October 12, 2003, at 1:23:09
I'm sorry you feel that way Liligoth it might sound weird but I have been worried about that too since I'm new I didn't know the person who did all that mean stuff so it is impossible for me or any other newbies to avoid any similar characteristics of that person's writing and it makes me really nervous but all I can do is be myself and hopefully my own unique personality will come through to you. So try not to stress too much about it I'm not asking anything of you but maybe some conversation. I hope to hear from you again soon. Thanx,
Ayla
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