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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on June 25, 2003, at 8:11:38
My cousin kiled himself recently, and I'm straining to think of what to write to my uncle in the card I bought him. What can you even say? He's not religious, so no "comfort of the Lord" kind of stuff. I see no higher purpose or meaning in the situation. It was just a pointless end to a troubled life. I can't write that, though. Maybe I'm overthinking it. My uncle's despondant, and the whole idea of a Hallmark moment seems naive and worthless.
Posted by Dinah on June 25, 2003, at 8:18:51
In reply to Suicide condolances... what to say?, posted by Eddie Sylvano on June 25, 2003, at 8:11:38
I'm sorry, Eddie.
I doubt there is any "right" thing to say. How about what you can say with complete honesty? That you're sorry for his loss. That you can only imagine how painful it must be. That you're sorry he has to experience this. That you're at a loss as to what you could say. That you wish you could do something to help, and that if you can to let you know.
Do you have any fond memories of your cousin that you can share?
It's not really a Hallmark moment, I agree. Your poor uncle. I'm really sorry.
Dinah
Posted by wendy b. on June 25, 2003, at 8:42:46
In reply to Suicide condolances... what to say?, posted by Eddie Sylvano on June 25, 2003, at 8:11:38
Eddie,
I think Dinah has some very good suggestions.
I am really sorry you and your family - especially your uncle - have to endure this. It's a living nightmare.
Writing this card to your uncle might be making you realize how much your cousin meant to you. I think I'd just be in shock.
I hope you will let us know how you're feeling, if you need to. Lots of good listeners here ---My best to you, and sincere condolences,
Wendy
Posted by a very little sphinx on June 25, 2003, at 10:00:34
In reply to Re: Suicide condolences - Eddie, posted by wendy b. on June 25, 2003, at 8:42:46
dear Y,
There aren't any words. You try to think of some but there are none that are applicable. It's nameless, answerless. To say anything abrupt at all is less indemnity than insult; but those thoughts are far from your mind I'm sure.A lot of times we place ourselves in the past when things this horrible occur. We try answering questions that again have no answers; what if, what could i have done, why?
There are no answers to these questions, and the more we go back to them, the more we hurt. Only know that even if we struggle forward, if the best we can do is step forward lightly, even as we look back, that is all that can be asked from us. And eventually, we grow stronger.
If I could say any one thing that would be of some consolation, I would, maybe these words are some, but I doubt the power of words in a situation like this... feelings are much stronger than words, and feelings always win.
My thoughts are with you.
....yr name here.
Posted by whiterabbit on June 25, 2003, at 10:56:05
In reply to Suicide condolances... what to say?, posted by Eddie Sylvano on June 25, 2003, at 8:11:38
Short and sweet:I'm here for you. CALL if you need to talk. Please.
Since men don't usually say that type of thing I think it would be more than enough.
-Gracie
Posted by shar on June 25, 2003, at 11:13:43
In reply to Suicide condolances... what to say?, posted by Eddie Sylvano on June 25, 2003, at 8:11:38
I'm so sorry to hear about {cousin's) death, and deeply saddened about your loss. You will both be in my thoughts.
Love,
EddieShar
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on June 25, 2003, at 13:55:23
In reply to Re: Suicide condolances... what to say? » Eddie Sylvano, posted by shar on June 25, 2003, at 11:13:43
Thanks for the feedback, everyone. I kept it brief, with gestures of sympathy and support. I just hope I don't upset anyone. I'm not very good with social expectations.
It's been a really crappy week for me, with this hitting just before my mom was suddenly diagnosed with kidney cancer. I've felt sick for days now, and I don't know what to do beyond sitting and staring and shaking. Suffice to say my cage has been thoroughly rattled.
Thanks again for your thoughts, everyone.
Posted by Dinah on June 25, 2003, at 14:03:37
In reply to Re: Suicide condolances... what to say?, posted by Eddie Sylvano on June 25, 2003, at 13:55:23
Oh, Eddie. I'm so sorry about your mom.
Posted by Emme on June 25, 2003, at 20:05:38
In reply to Re: Suicide condolances... what to say?, posted by Eddie Sylvano on June 25, 2003, at 13:55:23
> Thanks for the feedback, everyone. I kept it brief, with gestures of sympathy and support. I just hope I don't upset anyone. I'm not very good with social expectations.
I'll bet you did just fine. They'll appreciate your kind thouughts.
> It's been a really crappy week for me, with this hitting just before my mom was suddenly diagnosed with kidney cancer. I've felt sick for days now, and I don't know what to do beyond sitting and staring and shaking. Suffice to say my cage has been thoroughly rattled.
I'm so sorry about your mother.
Emme
Posted by bookgurl99 on June 26, 2003, at 0:05:28
In reply to Re: Suicide condolances... what to say?, posted by Eddie Sylvano on June 25, 2003, at 13:55:23
I'm sorry this is going on right now. This is the kind of s**t headphones and music were invented for; if you've gotta get up at night, you can turn on anything and just let it flow into you.
I predict that soon you will puke and start to feel more normal.
Posted by wendy b. on June 26, 2003, at 10:41:54
In reply to Re: Suicide condolances... what to say?, posted by Eddie Sylvano on June 25, 2003, at 13:55:23
Eddie,
I'm so sorry to hear about this - please keep us up to date on your mother's health.
The kidney thing is something I feel a little connection to, as well, since I've been having some problems with mine. And the "C" word has been mentioned, but I'm sure I'm gonna be fine... So I can commiserate. But would like to know how it's going for her and what kind of treatment regimen she's going to have (if she's decided yet).
Hang in there,
Wendy
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on June 27, 2003, at 10:32:24
In reply to Re: your mom » Eddie Sylvano, posted by wendy b. on June 26, 2003, at 10:41:54
>But would like to know how it's going for her and what kind of treatment regimen she's going to have (if she's decided yet).
--------------She had a surgery last night to remove the afflicted kidney. I'm still waiting to hear about how it went/what they found. I've never been so nervous in my life.
Thanks for your support, all. I'll post again after I hear more.
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on July 3, 2003, at 10:43:51
In reply to Re: your mom » wendy b., posted by Eddie Sylvano on June 27, 2003, at 10:32:24
> Thanks for your support, all. I'll post again after I hear more.
The pathologist said that the tumor was small and localized, and there didn't appear to be any spread. Her surgery went well, and she's home resting now. I can't tell you how relieved I am!
:) :) :) :)
Posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 16:46:36
In reply to Hooray!, posted by Eddie Sylvano on July 3, 2003, at 10:43:51
Posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 9:53:16
In reply to Hooray!, posted by Eddie Sylvano on July 3, 2003, at 10:43:51
Great! I'm sure you are breathing big sighs of relief now.
This is the end of the thread.
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